The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 30 – Real Bad

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 29, find it here!

 

DM: Bronan, where is the gem, what has been happening?

‪Bronan: The gem is nearby, I think Melbos want it too, so Bronan careful, you have money for gem?

DM: Melbos?

DM: And how did he find out about it

DM: I have money, bronan. What was it we decided on again? I might have to have a think about the final sum due to your…erratic behaviour since heading into the desert

DM: Why haven’t you come to me, bronan? Why did you go to Cormyra?

‪Bronan: We were worried Melbos might be mad at us

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan not sure, thought it was 30 gold

‪Bronan: Melbos knows many things, Bronan surprised he not here right now, he seems to want gem

DM: Well. Regardless. Where are your little friends?

Bronan: One has the gem, the other is having bath, you get rid of Melbos? He scary, might take gem

DM: Melbos isn’t here

DM: He clicks his fingers and the mage with him reaches into a small pouch, bringing out a much larger pouch. He throws it in the dirt between the mayor and bronan

DM: 90 gold

Bronan: (I know I’m trying to freaking stall!! Goddamn thrikeen, can’t even keep track of the bloody plan)

DM: Gem please, bronan. This has gone on long enough

DM: What are all your passive perceptions

‪Bronan: Ok, (I pick up the gold) I go fetch gem

‪Bronan: 13

Faustus: Is 10 plus wisdom mod yes?

Constance: 12

Faustus: If yes, 12.

‪Bronan: And proficiency if you are proficient?

DM: Yes

DM: And yes

Faustus: 12

‪Bronan: Yup mines still 13

DM: You can hear crickets in the sand, and maybe an owl hoot from the withered vines to your north east?

DM: Bronan, you grab the bag?

‪Bronan: Yup then walk to the back if the Cart yelling “faustuuuuuuuuus, where are you, time to give the Scarf-mayor the gem”

Faustus: OK I’m going to jump up and try and use the gem I guess? Directed at the Mayor and his guard.

DM: Okay!

DM: Faustus

DM: Roll a d20 and add your intelligence for me please

DM: Bronan, as you walk toward the cart the mage and three crossbowmen train their weapons on you

Faustus: 18

Faustus: 17+1

Faustus: (Wait, as in our mage and crossbowmen?)

‪Bronan: (the mayors henchmen I think)

DM: (the mayor’s henchman)

DM: Faustus. You feel incredible power focusing through the crystal, and becoming to distill, and…it keeps going

DM: Because the casting time of that spell is 1 minute…

Faustus: Hahahahaha you son of a bitch

DM: Roll initiative

Constance: SON OF A BITCH

Constance: lolololol

DM: (not my fault if you don’t read the spell description!)

Constance: 14

‪Bronan: Aaahh shit

Faustus: Nope you are quite right, I wasn’t playing attention when you put the spell up.

‪Bronan: I got 15

Faustus: 2 ffs.

Constance: (so, is faustus going to have to keep concentrating for 10 rounds to release this thing?)

DM: (yup!)

‪Bronan: (man, I guess, still we have house people, the wizard who teleport us here, and potentially Melbos of he pulls his thumb out)

DM: (the wizard didn’t come with you, he just teleported you + varratim+ 3 pirates

‪Bronan: (it might come just in time to get rid of the evidence)

‪Bronan: Ah ok

Constance: (didnt he? I thought he was teleporting us back?)

DM: Right

DM: (don’t think so…)

DM: Bad guys Bronan

 

DM: (and on each of your turns, you can command your pirate minion!)

Constance: oh balls

DM: So.

Constance: hold on, am i still hidden?

DM: You think so?

DM: Two crossbowmen shoot at bronan- 12, 18. Either hit?

‪Bronan: Yup, the 18, my ac is 14

Faustus: (As someone who basically never casts spells, to cast it from a gem – I basically can’t do anything else but concentrate on that can I?)

Constance: (you can do other stuff, but if you take any damage you make a con save)

Constance: (unless the thing you want to do requires concentration)

DM: An arrow thunks into bronans back, doing 6 piercing damage

DM: The two swordsman take up defensive positions by the mayor

Faustus: Well this sure would have been a good plan if I hadn’t fucked that up real bad!

DM: The mage flexes out his hand and shoots a fireball at Faustus- 22 to hit, 4 burning damage if that hits

Faustus: Haha yeah that hits.

DM: The mayor draws his wand

Constance: (con save?)

DM: Oh yes, con save please!

‪Bronan: (are we level 3 or 2 at the moment?)

Faustus: 16

DM: (3)

DM: Faustus, you manage to keep hold of your concentration

Constance: (FYI Faustus. The dc is always 10 or half the amount of damage. Whichever is higher)

Faustus: Ah yes. Which is why huge damage is pretty hard to concentrate through!

Constance: Yuuuup

DM: The mayor shoots out with his wand at faustus, and a glob of viscous white material flies towards the dragonborn. 14 to hit

Faustus: Nope.

‪Bronan: (Bro, he spidermand you)

DM: It sails off into the darkness

Faustus: (Yeah why did it have to be white?!)

DM: (holy shut I haven’t heard that term since I was 16, brilliant)

DM: (well, it’s spiderwebby shut! God)

DM: Bronan, you are up, you can also control the actions of the crossbow pirate in the barn

Faustus: (Also, my ac without a shield is 16 or 18 with shield. With the gem in one hand and sword in another, can I have the gem in my shield hand with the arm through the straps or no?)

DM: (sure…)

Faustus: (For real, if that isn’t ok I don’t mind)

DM: (i literally don’t know what the rule is, but it makes sense to me. Not a worry)

DM: Bronan- no sign of Melbos, some guy just shot you, and the scarf mayor is being a real dick

Faustus: (OK. If I get to cast it, which I’m sure I won’t, I can plant my sword then lose an action to pick it back up or something)

‪Bronan: I’m going to yell “he was just going to give you the gem rudeboy”

‪Bronan: Then seeing viscous goo and fire being thrown at Faustus, my eyes start to glaze, I rage and run at the mayor swinging my axe screaming “waaaaasssshhhh yoooouuuurrrr haaaaaannnnndsss”

‪Bronan: The crossbow guy is going to see shit going down and try to pop a bolt into a swordsman

‪Bronan: Which is a 19 for me to hit

DM: Okay, crossbow guy from the barn sees you hulk out and smashes a bolt into the back of one of the swordsmans’s head, and he drops dead

DM: What do you do?

‪Bronan: I’m swinging the beers at they mayor with a 19 to hit

‪Bronan: Or was the 19 for the crossbow guy?

DM: (i gave it to the crossbow guy sorry I thought that was what you meant. Let’s say your guys get the same roll as you!)

DM: 19 hits him, damage?

Constance: (oh shit all or nothing)

‪Bronan: (it’s cool man, I didn’t know his to hit, mine is plus 5)

DM: I did his and rolled his damage

DM: And your hit hits him

DM: How much damage do the beers do?

‪Bronan: 11 slashing

DM: Bronan, your warhammer/axe/mad beer smasher swings down with startling pace, gouging into the mayor’s arm as he tries to dodge away

DM: Kill them all! He says

DM: But first stop that dragonborn!

DM: Constance you are up, and so is your priest in the main farm building

Constance: (fyi i might be about to head to a meeting so might disappear for a while)

Constance: ok what are my priest options?

Constance: is it the NPC priest from the MM?

DM: (no, nowhere near that powerful. Basically, attack with sword, sacred flame, 2 slots of 1st level cure wounds)

Constance: ok sacred flame at the one swordsman who is left

Constance: and as soon as that lands im going to pop out of the well and shout *”FAUSTUS, THE NETS!”*

Constance: run up to the mage and start crouching tiger hidden in a well big-ling smashing

Constance: (do i roll the priest?)

DM: Flame like radiance descends on the swordsman

DM: (its a save so no)

DM: And he yells, leaping back after taking 4 damage

DM: You are attacking the mage? Roll roll roll

Constance: ok so i am going to smash him with my staff first then use flurry of blows to do two unarmed strikes and try to knock him prone

Constance: (we havent combatted in so long, what do i add to the staff again?)

Constance: (looking back its supposed to be 5)

Constance: ok so it goes staff punch spinning back kick

Constance: which is 18, NAT 20, 17

DM: (ankh staff?)

DM: Oh shit

DM: Yeah roll out all that damage boyo

Constance: do you want some damage?

DM: Yup, all of it

DM: (Had you figured out what the ankh staff did? Or had you yet to find out?)

Constance: (Yet to find out, so far it’s been a hunger but unexplained)

DM: Awesome.

DM: Roll damage!!

Constance: (Staff is 1d8 right?)

DM: Yup

Constance: 11 for staff

Constance: 8 for punch

Constance: sorry 7 not 8

Constance: right i did that all wrong start again

Constance: 10 for staff

Constance: 7 for punch

Constance: 7 for kick

Constance: and he has to make a DC 13 dex save or be knocked prone

Constance: so a total of 24 damage

‪Bronan: Jumping jesus

DM: The mage is bloodied, bashed, and knocked sprawling to the dirt coughing blood, one eye already swollen shut

DM: Faustus, you are up

Faustus: OK I would like my crossbow boy to fire a net or several? I forget how it works.

Constance: i think it was a full action to fire a net

Faustus: Just the one?

Faustus: I’d like him to fire it at one of the mayors crossbowmen.

DM: Sure, roll for it

Faustus: He got an 11. Anything added to that?

DM: His dex, which is plus two

DM: The net careers off into the sand!

Faustus: Balls.

Faustus: OK. I’m still concentrating on casting the spell and I’m going to stay behind the cart (forgot to ask, would I not get half cover from that?) And I’m going to use abjure enemy on the Mayor.

Faustus: Wisdom save.

DM: 14

DM: What happens?

Faustus: OK so that saves, but on a success…

Faustus: Speed is halved for 1 minute or until he takes damage.

DM: Aha

DM: Varratim leaps forward from the rubble, yells “for melody!” And runs to the nearest enemy. Attacks crossbow guy, who fends him off

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 31 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 29 – Actually Not a Terrible Plan

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 28, find it here!

 

DM: So….what’s your plan?

DM: Says Varratim, adjusting his sword belt, having come to find you all

DM: My crew are prepared for whatever we need to do, and Pontifico the wizard shall help us all he can

‪Bronan: (I’ll let Constance or Faustus fill him in, otherwise it’s going to be a whole wall of broken English and Bronans obsession with listeria)

Faustus: Faustus tells him the plan. “What do you think? Doable?”

DM: So teleport to al’shash, lure the mayor and Melbos to this abandoned farm, hope they kill each other, if not we kill the mayor? That right?

‪Bronan: Pretty much, also, wizard help us steal mayor if can

Constance: yeah, i would rather capture than kill initially

Constance: but if it comes to that then so be it

DM: Steal the mayor? Hm

DM: Pontifico explains he can teleport himself +7. So Constance, Faustus, Bronan, Varratim, and three pirates of your choice

DM: You have crossbow specialists, melee specialists, priests, druids, low level wizards, etc to choose from

DM: Choose a minion each!

‪Bronan: Bronan not good at math, if we want steal mayor, we take 2 pirates? Bronan not need pirate friend, he have tribe with him, so tribe can take pirate friends and we still steal mayor

Faustus: I’ll take a crossbow guy

Constance: then a priest could be useful

DM: Varratim assigns a priest to Constance, and a crossbowman to Bronan and Faustus

DM: Pontifico summons a circle of glowing blue runes, and when you all step inside in a flash you are taken to the desert north of al’shash. Your farmhouse is nearby

‪Bronan: Constance, remember hungry beggar who told us we need to meet mayor in pub? You look different, maybe you find another person to take message to Melbos and Scarf-mayor?

‪Bronan: Bronan can give you coins to give them

DM: You are sat in the abandoned farmhouse with your attack team. Is Constance going to town to lure out the mayor? It’s evening. It’s hot. The sand is burning with the last vestiges of sunlight, and the night birds are starting to fly. Far off, you hear camels harrumphing the sound of crickets

‪Bronan: I guess we’ll spend the night, and barring any other suggest, I’ll leave the tsunami gem with constance or Faustus and then go into town to lure the badguys to the ambush site

Faustus: Sounds good.

DM: Cool, so in the morning bronan runs into town?

‪Bronan: Yup, first stop Melbos

DM: You can find his two assistants loitering in the alleyway easily enough

DM: Bronan

DM: Bronan bronan

DM: Melbos would like to speak, you are free to speak yes?

DM: Faisal and Toma gesture to you to follow them

‪Bronan: Yes of course

‪Bronan: Bronan not slave, Bronan free

DM: You follow them down to the simple house with the blue door where melbos awaits you, sat on his chair, and offers you a cup of tea with a gesture

Constance: (oh god this might go badly)

DM: Faisal closes the door and locks it, and Toma goes to stand by Melbos to translate

DM: Bronan. How are you?

‪Bronan: Ah, so so, Bronan lose ale barrel running from sand chicken. But other than that ok, how Melbos?

DM: Melbos bad, bronan. Melbos angry, and confused. Melbos sent a shipment across the desert to the north, and Melbos’s shipment was attacked by birdmen. Birdmen who killed one of Melbo’s men

‪Bronan: Oh, that bad, did they go round edge of birdmen? Birdmen say can go round or give half if go through, safest to go round edge of lands

DM: Melbos shrugs

DM: A mistake, maybe.

DM: Perhaps we went to close to their lands

DM: What do you want, Bronan? Why have you returned to Al’shash? The mayor seeks you and your friends, and I do not think he is happy

‪Bronan: Maybe birdmen let through lands if Melbos smash mayor? Mayor want gem, and think he come for it at nightfall at farm out of town,  maybe Melbos want shiny gem and smash mayor?

DM: Persuasian check bronan

DM: You plan to kill the mayor and want my help

DM: What is this shiny gem?

‪Bronan: 18 for persuasion

‪Bronan: Well, Scarf-mayor want gem and smash innocents

‪Bronan: Birdmen hate mayor pirates hate mayor

DM: Everybody hates mayor

‪Bronan: Melbos want power and allies, prove worth to birdmen and pirates and kill mayor?

DM: Nightfall at the abandoned farm?

‪Bronan: Yup yup

DM: Melbos nods, toma nods, and causal unlocks the door

DM: Go careful bronan

DM: And we will see you tonight…

‪Bronan: Melbos know messenger to tell mayor?

DM: Hm

DM: I could send an orphan I suppose?

Bronan: Ok, make sure tell mayor we have gem and others want it, that way we get all his friends at once

DM: I see. Well. I’ll send an orphan claiming to be your messenger

DM: Is there some…tactic? Or just smash mayor

‪Bronan: Just smash try to turn up at same time and pretend you want Gem, otherwise mayor will get wise and sneak or smash Bronan as he and friends alone

DM: Aha

DM: I will have some of my men pose as alternate buyers for this…gem. and then together we will all attack the mayor

DM: Should we have a signal, to attack?

Bronan: If you watch mayor then when he gets there you and your men appear. Then strike like lightning

DM: Aha. Then we shall be hidden in the shadows.

DM: Until tonight, bronana

DM: Bronan!

Constance: hahahahaah

‪Bronan: Okay Melbos! See you then!

‪Bronan: (then I’ll return to the house to let the others know the plan)

DM: Okay

DM: You have the rest of the day to prepare, how are you arranging your forces?

‪Bronan: Is the netthrowing cart still there?

DM: It is…

‪Bronan: Right, elaborate plan time

Constance: ok. I have a set of manacles, two smoke bombs and a hunting trap

‪Bronan: This may be asking for a lot, do you have a layout of the house? I’m thinking we should try to pin them between the house and the cart, crossbow man in cart with someone to fire net, hunting trap in obvious escape route and then smoke bomb when shit goes down to manacle the mayor then teleport the fuck home after knocking the mayor unconscious

Constance: yeah i would quite like to know the layout here so we can establish positions etc

Constance: like the plan will go to fuck as soon as we make contact

Constance: but still

‪Bronan: Ooooh Bronan have good plan, really good plan, make all problem go away

‪Bronan: We wait until fight start, if Melbos and Scarf-mayor here, we use gem to wash itsy bitsy listeria bug down the drain, gem not available for badmen, badmen gone, water field for crops

Constance: huh

Constance: thats actually not a terrible plan

Constance: i mean

Constance: we point it away from the city

‪Bronan: Can we use gem though? How we use? Break it?

DM: Give me an arcana check bronan

‪Bronan: Ah my strongest skill

Constance: (shit I’m totes hiding in the well)

‪Bronan: I got a 12

DM: Bronan- smash it? Or hold it and focus on doing magic!

‪Bronan: (was going to make a borat joke, didn’t cause I’m cultured)

‪Bronan: Hmm Bronan could try to focus, only know ritual for animals…anyone know magic? Bronan happy to try though *smiles stupidly*

Faustus: I’ll take a look at it?

‪Bronan: Sure, you or constance have it, Bronan not take gem into town, not gem in town or mayor might get it

DM: If you are all back and planning then by all means, arcana check away

DM: You have the map, some pirates, and a net throwing cart

‪Bronan: (We could turn the cart into a mini boat and ride the tsunami!!)

Constance: (what guys do we have again?)

DM: Varratim, a pirate cleric, and two crossbowmen

Faustus: Arcana check on the gem for how to use it, 17.

DM: Breaking it would…Well…Breaking it would unleash the spell. Focusing on it would allow you to cast the spell properly, but only if your intellect was up to the job. If you didn’t focus right, magical energy might backlash and hurt you, and you might have a bad time

Constance: I think the issue with this is where we point it.

DM: Farmhouse is half a mile outside town

Constance: We don’t want to hit our guys. Or risk hitting al shahs

Constance: Do we think this thing will do that much damage?

DM: Spell reminder

DM: (you worked this out with the help of the birdman elder if I recall)

DM: Faustus, you are pretty sure failing to cast the spell would actually just mean it unravels and leaves the gem harmlessly

DM: (just reread how spell gems work, my bad)

Constance: ok cool, so it would only travel 300ft

Constance: we should be good!

Constance: if we could lure them all to the centre of the space, between the well and the house, then blamo!

‪Bronan: Yes, good plan, finally make mayor wash his hands

Constance: ok, so who releases the spell, and when? and where do we position ourselves?

‪Bronan: Bronan happy to be bait, not good with brainmagic though

‪Bronan: If gem not work. We could always smash old fashioned way

Constance: yup

Constance: i think we hide ourselves as well as possible, maybe with Faustus in the cart with one of the crossbowmen, then me hidden in the well, then varratim and a crossbowman in the farmhouse?

‪Bronan: And Bronan sit in middle with gem?

Constance: i was more thinking Faustus keeps a hold of the gem from the cart, then bronan can make a dash for cover just before it goes off

Constance: but thats really down to how you two feel

‪Bronan: Faustus very smart, and he quiet like soft breeze

‪Bronan: Remember birdmen fight?

Constance: I do

‪Bronan: Bronan happy with plan, but cart need to be in front of well and house, otherwise water fall in well and knock down house on friends

Constance: perhaps directly in line

‪Bronan: Sound good

DM: So the cart in between the house and well. Bronan out in front. Varratim+crossbows in the barn.faustus holding gem hidden in the cart. Constance balancing just below the lip of the well

‪Bronan: Sounds like a foolproof plan

‪Bronan: (I hope!)

DM: Alright, in which case, you settle into position, and the sun slowly begins to set…

‪Bronan: Im going to be jamming on my drum

Constance: (one of the crossbowmen is supposed to be in the cart with faustus

DM: Sure

DM: Okay?

Constance: are we missing someone?

Constance: cleric?

Constance: head pirate guy whos name espaces me?

Constance: escapes*

DM: Varratim and one crossbow guy in the barn, priest in the farmhouse, bronan in the centre, faustus and crossbowman in the cart, Constance in the well

DM: No sign of Melbos’s gang

DM: And the sun is setting

DM: From the south, the town, a covered wagon being led by a camel, driven by robed and scarfed man, approaches

DM: He stops the wagon, leaps down, and walks towards bronan, stopping 20ft in front of him

DM: Faustus, Constance, can you each make stealth checks for me? With advantage?

Constance: 16

Faustus: As I’m not moving, do I have have my usual disadvantage?

DM: No

Faustus: Balls. 9.

DM: With advantage 9?

Faustus: Yuup

DM: The figure whistles

DM: And from the covered cart six figures emerge, and spread out to flank the mayor

DM: Three hold crossbows, two large curved swords, and one a long wooden staff. All are dressed in Robes

DM: The scarves man reaches up and removes the scarves from his face, revealing his face

DM: A jeweled sword in one hand, a metal embossed wand tucked in his belt

DM: Bronan. Where is my gem?

Faustus: (Boys, shall I *show* him the gem? Might hit Bronan?)

Constance: (i mean, i guess he knows your there, but you don’t know that, let things play out a little?)

DM: The mayor draws his wand, and taps it on his leg impatiently

‪Bronan: Oh hello who are you again? Bronan waiting for scarf man from tavern

DM: That would be me

DM: You literally just saw me remove my scarf

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 30 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 50 – All Consuming

Welcome to the finale of Total Reroll Equinox!

We just closed the rift to the plane of infinite ooze, and we have the lich Al’Kazam’s phylactery. Now we just need to destroy it! And then defeat the slime god that is trying to destroy the world…

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 28 – Tip-Top Plan Dragonface

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 27, find it here!

 

DM: You reach the top of the ramp and there are a few gnomes scrubbing the decks, a minotaur standing watch, and the elf Varratim is sat on a barrel pouring out glasses of rum- he gestures for you to join him

DM: Come come come along friends , a little rum and a little talk with Varratim, Lord of the naga’s heart!

‪Bronan: (this is what happens when you let the alcoholic idiot be the face of the party! He would however Die before letting you come to significant harm)

‪Bronan: Hallo varratim, nice boat, little ones keep it clean, which is good listeria lurks everywhere you know!

Constance: Varratim, whats with the flying snake?

DM: What, my little Belochik? He is my pal!

DM: Now

DM: What do you want, my strange new friends, and how might we…contractors help facilitate? Hahaha

Constance: Before we get to that, I meant to ask, did you mention you were from Cormyra?

DM: Did I? Well. Maybe I did. But Cormyra is a far off place, with no waves, no great ocean, no little fishes! Cormyra is dry

Constance: yes, we have been there. Do you know it?

DM: I know it

Constance: had any dealings with Cormyras mayor?

DM: The sultan?

Faustus: (Mayor is the other place)

Constance: (aww crap thats al-shash)

Constance: (who did we meet in Cormyra again? Im looking for mutual acquaintances here)

Faustus: (Imohen? Did she tell us about them?)

Constance: (yes her! good shout)

Constance: i dont suppose you know a dwarf named Imohen?

DM: A dwarf named imohen?

DM: No

Constance: well never mind then

DM: Tell me. You passed through the desert

Constance: 😕

DM: Safely? No troubles?

Constance: Nothing we couldn’t handle

DM: (it was Melody and the birdmen who recommended maybe approaching the pirates)

Constance: (yeah I forget things)

Constance: what kind of work is it that you do Varratim?

DM: Me? He looks around the deck and down at himself

DM: I’m…I’m a pirate

DM: Did you not get that?

Constance: I mean yeah thats apparent, but I’ve never met a pirate before!

Constance: I have no idea what that entails

DM: Oh! Well!

DM: Piracy on the high seas! We steal goods from nasty traders, we smuggle goods prohibited by the evil overlords of the world, we kill people and take their things!

Faustus: (Really sounds like the crew is about to break into a shanty)

DM: Much sea shantying, grog drinking, and violence

DM: (the gnome deckswabbers look like they are going to break into an oompa loompa style song about piracy, but as they start the first note Varratim waves them away)

DM: So you have come to a pirate town, across a daaaaangerous desert

DM: Are you seeking adventure on the high seas? Illegal goods? The tastiest ruuuuuum? Shelter from the nasty Cormyrans? How can Varratim sort you out

‪Bronan: (pirate life sounds awesome…)

‪Bronan: Errm smash badman?

Constance: We were advised to seek aid from you by a girl named Melody, do you know her?

DM: He whistles sharply and the snake flies away, back towards the bar

DM: He leans forward and squints at you, Constance

DM: Melody, melody, a beautiful song. Where is she? She is alive? We lost the pursuit in the Red wastes

Constance: Pursuit?

DM: Of her kidnappers!

Constance: ah

DM: Where is melody?

Constance: yes she is alive, however, the fewer people know where she is the better

DM: Well, forgive me if I don’t think that is your choice, stranger. Melody is one of us, under the protection of Fort Last, and by extension the Naga’s heart

DM: And you will tell me where she is or I will flense the skin from your flesh and feed it to  the dogs!

DM: All of the gnomes have stopped working and drawn long knives

‪Bronan: (Bronan is practically squirming to say, but at the threat to constance, his eyes go hard and flat)

Constance: *throws hands up* whoa whoa whoa, there is no need for all of this, we too seek to protect melody

DM: Then tell me where she is

DM: On the docks you hear a howl

DM: And another. And another

Constance: distrust between those who seek to do the same only helps our enemies

DM: A kind of strange hooting yell

DM: Well then show me your trust, giant halfling!

‪Bronan: (is it dogmen?)

DM: It’s the owlbears! At least a dozen on the dock, and maybe twenty pirates with them

DM: Varratim lowers his axe and seems to be trying to calm himself

‪Bronan: One of Bronans hands reaches for his axe, the other to his groin, near where the doomstone is

‪Bronan: Constance, Bronan not comfortable here

Faustus: (Got an idea to keep it quiet if we want?)

Constance: Calm Bronan, everything is fine. Varratin, I’m not certain that you understand how far this reaches, Melody and by extension you and I and everyone here, is in grave danger from powerful enemies. I believe that you, like us want to protect melody, but if you were to be captured by those enemies, then through nefarious means forced to divulge her location, could you live with that?

Constance: (im aiming for some sweet persuasion here FYI)

DM: Then roll for it!

Faustus: (Got for it! I have back up if it doesn’t work)

Constance: ugh, 8

DM: If you wish melody to be safe and home, then the way to achiiiiiieve that is to tell me, Varratim, and I will cut down any man or beast in my way.

Faustus: (Gonna tell him slyly)

DM: Pontifico will support me. I will bathe in their blood and drink rum from their skulls

DM: So enough riddles, halfling. Where is melody? What is it you know?

Constance: (holding for faustus idea)

Constance: (Faustus’s?)

DM: (yeah same, varratim was just addressing you)

Faustus: Faustus touches his cowboy hat towards Varratim and sends a message (which I believe he can reply to in a whisper only I can hear?) “You understand friend, that we fear that nefarious ears are everywhere. Melody is with the Blessed Wind, our allies. She is both safe and feels safe there, and indicated that if we were to come here we may find aid in stopping those who pursue her and wish to abuse her powers. We come to you seeking that aid, but the birdmen are her friends and she is safe there.”

Constance: (tip top plan dragonface)

DM: Varratim whistles a low whistle, and the gnomes sheath their knives, and the owlbears and pirates wander off.

DM: My cabin, he says, and gestures to the back of the boat

Faustus: (Also I’ve lost all my messages from my old phone, so I don’t know how many times a day I can use that)

Constance: we follow and I give faustus a knowing nod

Faustus: Faustus nods back. “Bronan, I’ll explain later”.

Constance: (just looked back and it lets you cast Message at will, message is a cantrip anyway)

Faustus: (Ah grand)

DM: Varratims cabin is full of charts and maps and trinkets, shrunken heads, broken swords

DM: So. Melody is safe with the aaracokra. They rescued her from those…men?

Faustus: Faustus sends a message to Bronan saying “your birthday present is proving very useful”.

DM: A succinct summary of the situation would be appreciated, gentle people. Varratim pours you all some spiced rum and clears off some chairs. I’m sorry, I suppose, but you understand this is an…emotional situation

‪Bronan: Aaaaaahhh voice in mind!!

Constance: I guess we give a succinct summary of the situation

DM: Ha. Okay. Holding anything back?

Faustus: Yes. We came across signs of a caravan having been attacked by the aaracokra, and were unfortunately misled into thinking the Blessed Wind were up to no good. But once we met them it became clear that they were merely protecting their land from the criminals known as the rising sun (is that right? I can’t check), and were particularly aggrieved that they appeared to be slavers. They liberated Melody, and she seemed very appreciative of that.

Faustus: Haha apparently not!

Constance: yeah i mean we can miss out the stuff about imohen and mij

Faustus: What is your connection with Melody friend? You seem very invested in her wellbeing.

DM: She is of Fort Last. We take care of our own. And Pontifico was planning on teaching her storm magic. Pontifico’s storm magic is all that keeps the fort from destruction. Melody is our hope, our future. A beloved child. Any citizen of Fort Last would bleed for that girl. As Captain, I am responsible for her safety

DM: Who hired these…slavers? Why Melody? For her power, you think?

Constance: we believe so

Faustus: (Did the Mayor hire them?)

DM: (Yes)

DM: Who, and why? Does Melody not wish to return to us?

DM: He looks crestfallen

Constance: i think for now she is unable to, the risk to her, and by extension others would be too great

DM: But she sent you to us, wants us to aid you?

DM: Describe her to me, so I know you have met the girl

Constance: (balls)

‪Bronan: She pretty

Faustus: (Did she not want to, or was it not safe?) We believe that the Mayor of Al’Shash is attempting to take control of the region, and wishes to use Melody as a means of doing that.

Faustus: (Can someone search the chat for details of her?)

Constance: on it

DM: (i mean, I’m not going to make you roll for that. You remember she was a tiefling, etc)

Faustus: Ah. Then we describe her.

‪Bronan: She had red skin, yellow eyes. Small black horns

DM: Varratim nods

DM: So. You seek our aid, in…resolving this?

Constance: yes

DM: And the Mayor of Al’shash is responsible?

‪Bronan: Dirty Scarf-mayor is badman, varratim help us smash

DM: I will cut off his fingers and maroon him on an island for all time.

DM: Well

DM: Right. I am with you. Pontifico will…aid us. What do you wish to do? Destroy the town, salt the earth? That may provoke cormyra, unless we leave no trace

DM: We could kidnap the Mayor, and hope his replacement is less efficacious?

DM: But if you think the rot goes all the way down, I’m happy to raze the town to the ground

Constance: these are all good ideas, however, who is Pontifico?

DM: Pontifico is our storm mage, master of the runed owlbears. He protects us from seeking ships and forces with mighty dust storms, and calms the sea and earth when it threatens to destroy us

DM: Behind varratim a man appears, wizened and old

DM: Ahm gyuod at invisibility spylls too!

DM: Varratim pours him a cup of rum

DM: Varratim raises his glass in a toast

DM: To the death of the Mayor!

DM: Whatever you need, we will hopefully be able to provide. Do you have a plan?

Constance: our plan has stretched as far as recruiting as much aid as possible

Constance: which is what brought us to you

DM: Well. You have succeeded in that phase. And now you must decide the course, and we will fill the sails with righteous fury and follow you to bring back our girl and keep our lands safe!

Constance: (what time is it?)

DM: Midday

Constance: Varratim, do you have details of what sort of forces you could field?

DM: Hmm.

DM: To leave Fort Last safe?

DM: Myself, 20 of my best men and…(he glances at Pontifico who holds up three fingers) three owlbears? We can travel overland like that

Constance: hmm, Faustus, any numbers on how many of the Blessed Wind we could get involved?

DM: Alternatively, Pontifico could teleport 8 of us with more secrecy, so the three of you, myself, and four more of our choosing, if we decide to be more…surgical

‪Bronan: Don’t forget sir dribbles

DM: Pontifico smiles and nods ‘Nay worrues about your doyg’

Constance: a surgical approach may prove more sensible

Constance: we want as little collateral damage as possible, it seems as though the guards of the town have little to do with this if anything

DM: Varratim shrugs. Clearly you have not yet decided your plan. Would you like some time to think, and we can reconvene this evening? Either way I will need to spend the day preparing my men

‪Bronan: Bronan think, it us, and then bring owlbear l, everyone know owlbear kill people for nature gods

‪Bronan: Then next mayor not wear scarfs and do bad things

‪Bronan: But maybe we talk tonight?

Faustus: Sounds good.

DM: Okay. You are taken back to the Mussel’s lament and given three rooms linked by a small seating area, and provided with food and ale

DM: So now it’s up to you, make your plan!

DM: (or do whatever else you want)

Constance: So option 1. Cowboy this and go in with 20+ guys and owlbears, taking the town by force. This risks Cormyra getting wind of things and some sort of retribution. Also, would result in higher likelihood of collateral damage. However, it does play to our personal strengths.Option 2. Get teleported in stealthy like and try to get to the mayor. Ideally, we could get him alive. To ensure that we find out the reasons behind whats going on, as well as have him as a potential bargaining chip should Cormyra have something to say. However, we dont really know where he would be.

‪Bronan: Why not go back, then lure mayor to farm house, wizard teleport us back to naga boat and then we have Scarf-mayor surrounded by cowmen, little ones with knives and bearowls

Constance: oh, so you think we can lure the mayor to somewhere secluded and bring him way back here?

Constance: thats not a bad plan bronan

‪Bronan: It how you hunt predators, lure them with easy prey, then tribe there to kill

‪Bronan: Unless you Bronan, Bronan kill bear with spoon

Faustus: So how would that work? We send a message to him that we have the stone? He won’t come alone.

‪Bronan: If Bronan keep gem and wait in Hut with wizard, friends can say he has stone and not want to come into town without lieing because Bronan not want to run into Melbos

Constance: im almost certain that we no longer have his trust, he would not come alone. However, it could potentially get him away from any innocent bystanders

‪Bronan: We can grab and run, like egg stealers

‪Bronan: And if we do it right, we get Melbos to come looking for his cart just after, then maybe mayors friends and Melboses friends kill each other over wagon

Constance: (General Bronan)

‪Bronan: Bronan not take whole credit, sir dribbles help

Constance: ok, i like this.

Constance: We get word to both the mayor and melbos that we have what they are looking for, get them all to turn up in the same place, see what happens. Then we turn up with us three plus pontifico and Verratim and maybe two others, then in the chaos we smash and grab the mayor and get back here.

‪Bronan: And we tell them the other has got wind of deal and wants it for themselves?

‪Bronan: Bad men always greedy enough to fight rather than share

DM: (in going to take a back seat, let me know when you have decided on a plan to take to Varratim)

‪Bronan: Faustus, what you think?

Faustus: I agree with the stealthy approach, and inciting them all against each other may work too.

‪Bronan: Looks like we’re agreed 🙂

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 29 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 49 – Wish

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re in a world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

We are in the plane of infinite ooze, trying to find the Lich Al’Kazam’s phylactery before sealing the rift to this dimension. There are a lot of goblins and gargoyles, and our friend Gloop just died!

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 27 – The Mollusc’s Lament

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 26, find it here!

 

DM: The night passes slowly, with only the gentle sloshing of the water and the faint rustling of reeds in the wind mixing with the camels soft soft footsteps

DM: As dawn breaks you see you are in a vast delta, flat and wide, and to the west, you can hear waves and see an indistinct outline of some sort of holdfast

DM: Before you the delta gives way to hard sand and sparse palms, and you see Fort Last

‪Bronan: Looks nice, no sand chickens

DM: Guarding the gated entrance are two burly looking…well…pirates

‪Bronan: Hello, we come from across desert, can we come in? We help flower lady Tyress

DM: The fattest pirate glances over the statue, the bedraggled camel, the tearful Tyress

DM: He shrugs and opens the gate

Constance: Thank you sir! *walks through gate*

DM: Passing the gates, you see a strange little town. A few market stalls, a lot of shipbuilding shops and artisans, a walled marina

DM: And at least a dozen owlbears prowling the streets!

DM: The owlbears have green tunes on their forehead, and appear to be guarding some of the buildings and the central market square

DM: Tyres leads the camel and sled to a small warehouse shed near the marina and opens the gate. The shed is half full of crates of flowers

DM: She gets the sled in, and leads the camel to a stable area where it can drink and calm down

DM: She comes back to speak to you and looks at the statue, and the flowers

DM: Well! I owe you a great debt, it would seem

DM: I am Tyress. Who are you, and how did you come to be in such a fortuitous place? I’m not used to encountering anyone in the desert who isn’t trying to kill or eat me

Constance: (we rolled a 2)

DM: Ha!

DM: (tyress has cropped brown hair, dark skin, and a few facial tattoos)

‪Bronan: Me Bronan, this sir dribbles, Faustus tribe and Constance tribe, we travel and make camp. Then heard scream, so help

Constance: (what was the name of the place we were heading again)

‪Bronan: Constance and Faustus, can we go back soon to camp? Bronan left portable ram and ale there… Ale get lonely without Bronan

DM: (you didn’t have a name, just know it as the wild ports)

DM: (bronan we can say your portable ram is on a sling on your back by the way, it’s not so big!)

Constance: Bronan, we will get you another barrel in which to hold ale, it has come in surprisingly useful.

‪Bronan: (oh ok, cool, at least he can knock politely still:))

‪Bronan: Yes, ale always good idea

Constance: So Tyress. Why does “collecting the moon flowers” bring you out to the desert? What are moon flowers?

DM: She points at the flowers

DM: They grow in the desert

DM: And only bloom at night

Constance: seems a bit dangerous for some flowers?

DM: She shrugs

DM: Every man must eat

DM: And the moon flowers fetch a high price

Constance: fair

‪Bronan: What flowers used for? Make things pretty? Also, sorry about statue man, wish we had helped sooner

DM: She nods. No, you did very well. Now that he is here he should return to us tonight

DM: The flowers are ground into moonspice, which the boats trade up and down the coast

Constance: whats that for?

DM: Flavouring!

‪Bronan: (smells like skooma to me)

DM: (khajit has moon-sugar if you have coin)

Constance: as in flavouring for food

‪Bronan: (Bronan has broad grin on his face) Bronan glad we help, nice to help people, simple, not hurt head by planning but just do

‪Bronan: We get ale and talk? Bronan thirsty and the beers is empty

DM: Tyress goes and brings you pack a small pouch each, perhaps 100 grams? And also she tries to hand you a couple of gold pieces each

DM: Please. Moonspice. It is not much, but if not for you my Tomo would awake surrounded by claws and fear and would surely perish

‪Bronan: Thank you, very kind, Tyress know who in charge around here? Is it giant owlbear?

Constance: yes, you have our thanks

DM: Giant owlbear?

DM: She laughs

DM: Those are Pontifico’s, he is…mayor? Chief? Pontifico is the current boss of Fort Last. Don’t annoy the owlbears!

DM: If you seek ale, head for the Mollusc’s Lament by the wharves

Faustus: I bow to her in thanks.

Constance: shall we head to the Molluscs lament then gentlemen?

‪Bronan: Sound like good plan

DM: So you are heading to the Mollusc’s lament?

DM: As you near the wharves, it’s clear which is the bar. There are many benches outside with a canopy above, and on the dirt street just outside a gigantic mollusc shell sits mounted atop a 20 ft poll

‪Bronan: I get some drinks for us, in coconuts if they have coconut drinks or just ale

DM: They have coconut drinks and rum, no ale, only rum

DM: And rum spiced with moonspice

‪Bronan: Ooh Bronan is going to get moonspice rum if he has enough or put a pinch in his from his bag

DM: Yeah it’s all cheap as chips here, a round of spiced rum for all three of you is a silver piece total

DM: The bartender is a gnome covered in strange scars

DM: The clientele look like pirates, you spot some dragonborn,  weird tall goblins, humans, dwarves, elves, aaracokra, a goliath, a pair of minotaurs

DM: Even though it’s morning it’s very busy

DM: A parrot and a winged snake are flying around each other up about the canopy

‪Bronan: Many tribes here, this popular place, and pet friendly, sir dribbles like it here *nudges Faustus and Constance* look, birdman and more of Faustus people

Faustus: I nod at the dragonborn.

DM: They nod back

DM: (one is green and one is gold)

Faustus: (Thanks)

DM: One of the elf pirates wearing a tricorn hat and a long coat approaches your table

DM: Who’re you folks? I don’t know you folks. I’m Varratim, of Naga’s Heart

Constance: Good morning sir, I am Constance

DM: Sir? Bwahahaha

DM: He pulls up a chair.

DM: Sir. I like that. Sir Varratim! Lord of Cormya!

DM: I say, Waiter, bring me a pickled goose and a carafe of sherry as befits my station! Bwahaha.

DM: This elf has very rotten teeth and a shaved head, and a tattoo of a duck on his neck

DM: You guys looking to join a crew? Or got a job in the offing? Lemme tell you this, Naga’s Heart is the best ship in port, not like those amateurs on the Maelstrom

DM: (he raises his voice for that last sentence, and half the patrons cheer, half boo)

DM: Everyone is pretending to drink but basically they are all listening to this conversation

‪Bronan: Me Bronan, nice to meet you Varratim, we meet girl who said we find help here

Constance: *throw Bronan a look*

‪Bronan: Nice tattoo, why you get it?

DM: Varratim laughs

DM: The tattoo is a reminder

DM: What girl is this, big guy?

DM: What you needing help with? The wild crews aren’t known for our…charity work, of you follow me

‪Bronan: Oh, she had someone that was mean to here, wanted help to get revenge, mean guy probably have lots of shiny things

DM: Revenge and reward? Hahaha! Sounds superb!

DM: Perhaps you should come meet the captain o’ the Naga’s Heart?

DM: The boats just at the end, the big one with the red foresail and the sharkskull figurehead

DM: I’ll go tell the captain!

DM: Varratim leaps up and runs along the pier, and the winged snake flies after him, landing on his hat

Bronan: Good drinks. Friends want to speak to Pontifico chief? Shop?

‪Bronan: (does the spiced rum intoxicate Bronan more than usual?)

Constance: i think we should go speak this captain, we did come here with pirate chat in mind

DM: (it so pretty potent)

DM: (certainly stronger than ale!)

‪Bronan: Bronan like this, Bronan like this a lot

‪Bronan: Ok, before we go, Bronan want to buy bottle of this for road

‪Bronan: It not ale, but fun to drink out of coconut

Constance: (we havent heard from faustus in a while? Is he studious?)

Faustus: (I am! Faustus is quietly surveying the patrons of the pub. I’m game for talking to the captain)

DM: 5 gold for a bottle

DM: The gnome waggles a bottle of it before you enticingly

Constance: i pull faustus aside “i think we should get one for bronan as a gift”

Faustus: Faustus nods in agreement and passes constance 3 gold.

Constance: i give him 5 silver back as change

Constance: lol

Constance: “distract bronan for a moment for me”

Faustus: “Hey bronan, look at that parrot!”

‪Bronan: “ooooh it has monkey on bottle”

‪Bronan: What? Oh parrot, hey parrot, do you talk? What your name?

Constance: i buy a bottle from the bartender and stuff it in my robes

DM: Okay

DM: The parrot squawks at you

‪Bronan: I start mumbling at it jujuwise (speak with animals, takes 10 minutes)

DM: Hahaha

Constance: (you mean lasts 10 minutes no?)

DM: So you guys sit back down and hang out while bronan does his thing?

‪Bronan: It’s a ritual, so ten minute casting

Constance: ah

Constance: yeah sure

Bronan: (I’m assuming that parrots, being all about the showy feathers are super dignified) *in parrot* greetings old boy, terribly sorry about gibbering at you like a human, what shall I call you, oh lustrous one?

DM: Petrov!

Constance: (in my head bronan is running around the pub flapping his arms and sqwaking)

Constance: (squawking)

Constance: (spelling is hard)

‪Bronan: Ah petrov, my dear old bean,  tell me, do you know the man with the flying snake? Is he a good man?

DM: Duck elf? Duck elf mad! Duck elf wrestle walrus in bay! Duck elf fight goliath over tacos! Duck elf set fire to coat to get rid of fleas!

‪Bronan: I see, who feeds you here, whos shoulder do you sit on?

‪Bronan: Is there a message you would like me to pass onto them for you?

DM: The half-orc with the knives

DM: No message, glob speaks parrot, glob treats petrov right, glob takes care of petrov!

‪Bronan: Good to hear it petrov, thanks for your time

‪Bronan: (Bronan turns to his friends) *buuuurrrp* sorry, parrot make me gassy, duck elf crazier than sir dribbles when you mention w-a-l-k-i-e…urh-eee-z?

Constance: *BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK*

‪Bronan: (is that constance or sir dribbles?)

DM: (yeah…)

Constance: (i was going for sir dribbles, but constance is probably funnier)

‪Bronan: Oh ok sir dribbles, we go for walk (I fetch him from his pouch and set him on the floor)

‪Bronan: We probably go soon, or we need cloth for mess

Constance: agreed, off we pop

DM: You can easily find the boat with the red foresail and shark jaw figurehead

DM: It’s one of two large pirate boats. The rest look like fishing boats and lobster trawlers

‪Bronan: Bronan have question before we go on boat. How pirate come with us? No river through desert

‪Bronan: Maybe they have answer

Faustus: Perhaps.

‪Bronan: Is there a plank or something to walk onto the ship or is it a yell and they’ll throw a rope kinda deal

DM: There is a gangplank

‪Bronan: I guess we call up the plank “yoohooo elf man, we’re here” and go up?

Constance: sounds good

DM: From up the ramp Varatim appears, his winged serpent circling him

DM: Aha! Folks! Join me join me, me to join. All aboard the naga’s heart for morning rum and consultations

‪Bronan: Bronan like rum

‪Bronan: (Bronan ambles up the ramp)

Constance: I turn to Faustus, “hes going to get us killed one of these days right?”

Constance: before following up the ramp

Faustus: Hmm. *nods*

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 28 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 48 – The Plane of Infinite Ooze

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re in a world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

We have approached the rift in reality where the lich Al’kazam brought through the world destroying slime monster. Inside we hope to find the lich’s phylactery to get rid of him for good, before we seal up the rift permanently.

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set