The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 41 – Maelstrom

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 40, find it here!

 

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

‪Bronan: As I’m moving bodies, I’ll keep an eye out for some keys in case they have a set

DM: Aha!

DM: Investigation!

‪Bronan: (I also want to look for any other shinys that may be on their remains, especially a shiny snorlax card)

‪Bronan: I got 11

DM: You find a sealed letter on the man in the cabin, assorted daggers etc, about thirty gold pieces

DM: And a six keys. 2 are the same, the others assorted

‪Bronan: I’ll show the party those when I’m done body clearing 🙂

DM: So yeah, bronan has cleared the skeletons- where are they all now?

DM: Constance and faustus thoroughly check the hold, now staring at a hatch that seems to lead…down

Constance: down the hold?

DM: You open the heavy hatch to inky blackness below

DM: Stillness

DM: Heat

DM: A steep metal ringed staircase descends into the darkness

‪Bronan: I would’ve put the skellys off the ship to the side, away from the gnolls

DM: Sure sure

‪Bronan: I’ll light a torch and see what we can see

DM: Perceptiooooooooon

‪Bronan: 18 total

DM: It’s the engine room! Three skeletons lie utterly still, dressed in overalls. Tools lay scattered around them, chisels and hammers. Emerging from the floor, a dome of blue crystal covered in runes sits. A tube with a horn at the end protrudes from one wall. The other walls have: a racy elf calendar; a complex poster with a picture of a blue runed orb; a heavily edited and overlapping shift timetable

DM: I mean. It must be the engine?

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to go with what he knows, and start flicking through the calendar

DM: Great

DM: Give me a perception, with disadvantage if Bronan fancies elves

‪Bronan: Errm I dunno, I kinda figure he’s into most things, Bro tribe rules is any hole’s a goal

‪Bronan: Got a 16, and a 15, so 15, Bronan wise, Bronan strong, Bronan look at nudes all day long

DM: As you are scanning the pictures, you realise this calendar is on the wrong day! It’s set to about…150 days ago

‪Bronan: (after a long time of looking at the pictures) I think date wrong it’s [insert correct date] not [correct date-150 days] right?  also Bronan have keys, we open boxes? Search mechanic skeletons?

‪Bronan: I search the skeletons in the engine room then put them with the others

DM: Investigation check

DM: You find nothing of note those skeletons, and can haul them to where you store the others

DM: You are left on a ship free of skeletons, full of mysteries

‪Bronan: Can I try some of the keys on the locked crates? (unless people want to leave me be?)

Constance: Ok. So situation. We are in the engine room. Big blue runed ball thing. Calendar marked to 150 days ago. Complex poster. Shift time table. Big horn tube thing.  We have a bunch of keys. Right?

DM: Yup

Constance: Ok. I want to go check out the poster and kind of compare it to the big blue orb thingy.

DM: Sure, arcana check for me please

Constance: Ugh. Five

DM: This is a big fuckin magic ball, eh

Constance: well shiz

DM: Uh huh

‪Bronan: (I really want Bronan to have a go just in case, would that be cool? He technically has 2 rituals and a proud shamanic tradition)

DM: (but of course)

‪Bronan: Nope, I got a 3

Constance: ha

Constance: Faustus! You know about complex magicks right?

‪Bronan: I think there are tiny wizards inside, maybe they hungry?

‪Bronan: (Bronan needs a brocade loincloth)

Constance: (oh yeah, ill use inspiration to give Faustus advantage on his Intelligence and Charisma rolls for tomorrow)

‪DM: Constance and bronan are in the hold. faustus is in the engine room. none of you seem to know what you are doing, and I think it’s early afternoon

‪Bronan: I’ll make lunch for people while sir dribbles browses the smut

DM: Passive perception checks

DM: Puhlease

‪Bronan: My passive is 14

Constance: Mine is 12

Faustus: 10

DM: Bronan, you hear a noise from outside somewhere. Not on the ship, somewhere below on the sands nearby. It sounds like a dry piece of wood being snapped

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan think Besh got loose, we should go check

‪Bronan: (and then he goes and looks outside)

DM: You very quickly realise what the sound is

‪Bronan: (please not skeletons)

DM: It was the sound of Besh’s neck snapping as a desert lion killed her. There are at least fifteen of them. Five clustered around Besh, five crunching the skeleton bones, and another five nervously sniffing the gnoll remains

DM: Your supplies and food and water are being pawed at vigorously

‪Bronan: (oh crap, that’s worse)

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles begins Barking at the large cats and seems to be going into pug rage, Bronan realises this and follows suit, raging and trying to charge at the nearest lion yelling bad kitties kill Besh, Bronan smaaaassssh

DM: (the lions are on the desert floor, you are fifteen foot up on the ships deck

‪Bronan: (yup, gonna jump it)

Faustus: Fuck!

Bronan: I should have enough movement to get to em

‪Bronan: (I hope!)

DM: Yeah, from 15ft up? Acrobatics check please

DM: And you can have a surprise round (I’m certainly surprised) of attacks then we will do initiative

‪Bronan: 18 total

‪Bronan: (Bronan has been chatting to Besh every day, they’re friends so he wants to get revenge)

DM: Okay, no damage from the flying leap. straight at the five munching on beau/your supplies?

‪Bronan: Yup. Getting all up in them pussycats

‪Bronan: I’m gonna give these cats some beers, and by that I mean smash them with the crushed beerkeg that is my axe, 22 to hit

DM: That hits the first lion

‪Bronan: 14 slashing

‪Bronan: And that’s my turn:) they’re going to nibble me next I guess

DM: All roll initiative

Faustus: Hahaha

Faustus: Right, I got a 2 for initiative.

‪Bronan: 20 #dicerolleroffire

Constance: 10 for initiative

DM: Bronan I need your roll with mods, apparently…

DM: I’m guessing it will be 3 though, in which case it is your turn again!

‪Bronan: My dex is +2

DM: So, to paint a picture. Bronan stands raging over a wounded lion, his axe bloodied, roaring with rage

DM: And fifteen lions roar back

DM: You can go first bronan

‪Bronan: (oh fiddlesticks, 15 lions may just be enough to action economy me down)

Constance: Action economy?

DM: (i mean…action economy?! There are fifteen of them. they are fucking lions man. You have made your choice…)

‪Bronan: (number of actions like attacks per turn, I thought there was 5, but happy to lie in this bed, Bronan smash)

‪Bronan: I try to smash the wounded lion to death

‪Bronan: 15 to hit

DM: Great, that hits

‪Bronan: My ac is 15 btw

DM: (i just checked, I said fifteen. Also thanks for AC, that will speed things

‪Bronan: 16 damage for that little kitty

‪Bronan: It’s cool, Bronan would’ve jumped in anyway

‪Bronan: He a big dumdum

DM: That first lion, the one who had killed Besh, lies slain on the sand

DM: And the rest pounce

DM: The four nearest, three hit you, total of 17 slashing damage

‪Bronan: Ok, is it halved already or want me to halve it?

DM: You half it please

‪Bronan: Cool 🙂

Constance: (Oh good)

DM: Next pack of five try to pounce on you

DM: So they Sprint forward one at a time with claws bared

DM: All five hit you

DM: So

DM: 30 slashing

DM: And make a strength saving throw

‪Bronan: Highest was 25 (natty 20)

DM: You get any below 13?

‪Bronan: Ooh I rolled once with advantage,  got a 13 and a 25, I’ll make 4 more rolls

‪Bronan: (rolls for 4 more anyway!)

‪Bronan: Lowest (given advantage) was an 18

DM: Wow

DM: Okay

‪Bronan: If you want to speed it up, my strength save is a plus 5

DM: As you bat away these pouncing lions you keep to your feet, despite the hideous raking of their claws

DM: And the final five pounce

DM: Four succeed in clawing you (so four str saves again please)

DM: 23 slashing damage

Constance: Meanwhile, in the engine room. “Faustus, do you know where Bronan has got to? And where is that calendar?”

‪Bronan: Got a 12 for one of them, next lowest was a 15

DM: Bronan you are on the floor

DM: Take another 10 piercing as one tries to bit your face off

DM: And now, Constance…

‪Bronan: Cool (current hp is 18 for you at home)

‪Bronan: (13 rather)

Constance: Right. 1. Have I realised that bronan is in trouble?

Constance: 2. How far is he from me?

DM: Yeah this has been possibly the loudest 12 seconds one could imagine

Constance: Oh shit. K.

DM: Bronan, screaming in rage at Besh’s demise, leapt from the ship and attacked and killed a lion. 14 other lions are now circling him, pouncing, roaring. It’s a fucking maelstrom of lions

DM: So you guys I’ll say are on the deck, fifteen feet up

DM: Looking down on a storm of claws and violence

Constance: I’m basically trying to work out if I can get in, grab bronan and get back out in one turn.

‪Bronan: (can I request that for my tombstone? “he died in a fucking maelstrom of lions)

DM: Hahaha

DM: Constance- you could leap down and reach him (with an acrobatics check), and drag him out. But you’d be taking heaps of opportunity attacks on the way out, and need to presumably climb up the ship again (another acrobatics/athletics check). Chuck him a rope and pull?

DM: Just try and picture in your head 14 lions against this beast of a barbarian, fifteen feet below you. How do you extricate him/save the day?

Constance: Would I though! Cause I have a plan!

DM: Feel free

DM: Lions are hungry, and you are a tall halfling

Constance: Ok. I leap down and grab bronan.

Constance: (Tall-ling is the preferred term you fucking racist)

‪Bronan: (if not I’m gonna animal handling these fuckers to make me the alpha and cruise with a pack of lion minions)

DM: Acrobatics check, it’s a fifteen foot drop

Constance: 19 on acrobatics

DM: Okay you flip onto the sand, into the pack, and are next to bronan. a lion is currently gnawing on him and dozens others batting in with their claws

DM: What exactly are you doing?!

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 42, the penultimate part of of The Cursed Tomb!

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Total Reroll NSCU: Episode 3 – Advanced Interrogation Techniques

Welcome to the episode 3 of Total Reroll NSCU, our new Dungeons and Dragons podcast series. We are new members of the Neverwinter Special Crimes Unit, brought in to investigate strange goings on in the city of Neverwinter and to uphold the law!

This week we interrogate the demon-worshipping grave robbers that we captured last time!

Download this episode (right click and save)

We hope you enjoy the episode. We are moving to fortnightly releases, with new episodes out every other week on alternate Fridays to The Weekly Rapture pop culture podcast. If you enjoy the episode, please let us know on Twitter or Facebook, give us a 5* rating on itunes, or share with anyone you think may enjoy it!


Our intro and outro music is ‘Winter’s Howl’ by Ed Curry.

Enjoy!

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Tales from the Yawning Portal

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 40 – Tom, Dick or Drow

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 39, find it here!

 

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

Faustus: Faustus laughs heartily with some effort, still strained from his wounds.

DM: In the light of day, you are acutely aware you slept on a battlefield. All a bit… gooey. Lots of flies already

Constance: So I poked around a little before passing out last night.

‪Bronan: Breakfast done, shall we move the bodies? Sir dribbles needs a clean litterbox

Constance: There is a barred door to the gold in the airship

Constance: Hold

Constance: Not gold

Constance: Well maybe gold

DM: Now it is day you can make out the ship better. it is slightly listed to one side away from you, so you can’t see the deck. You can make out a single mast, but no sails. An anchor line runs off the front by the prow into the sand. And of course the ten foot hole in the bottom of the hold you have seen

‪Bronan: (wish we had some gnome wizards now!)

Constance: So gentlemen. Let’s assume all this gold is behind that door. We have two questions to answer before we go breaking any doors down.

Constance: Question 1: how do we get that much currency out of here?

Constance: And more importantly question 2. What do we do with it?

‪Bronan: Fly ship?

‪Bronan: Bronan and Besh drag gold to pirate town, buy small tavern as investment, called Simply the Besh

‪Bronan: ?

Faustus: Besh is OK right?

Faustus: Also, very good work.

Constance: I mean yes that is a thing we could do Bronan. But what of Melbos? Al’shash

Constance: Also, I’m not certain this ship is repairable

DM: Besh okay

DM: Lots of engine parts in that hold but…you’d have to do some investigation

DM: You’ve only really looked inside at night

DM: But it is day now! What would you like to do?

Constance: Another poke about I suppose

DM: In the hold?

DM: Investigation rolls! Or history, or nature for how long it’s been here/what’s been around. Or arcana for what magic is happening. Basically say what you’d like to do

DM: Or for a poke about, investigation!

Constance: 8 on investigation *sigh*

Faustus: We all doing it?

DM: Doing whatever you like, you tell me!

DM: Constance, heaps of gnoll blood, sand, and smashed crates. Lots of cogs and springs and wires lying about

Constance: I say that

Faustus: I too will investigate

Faustus: 17

DM: Lot of sand

Constance: (Shiiiit monks get boss as fuck at 5th level)

DM: Lot of gnoll blood

DM: Lot of…machine parts that have come out of these crates

DM: Not the engine

‪Bronan: Bronan will stand around holding a battering ram waiting for his buddies to tell him what to hit

‪Bronan: Should we try to explore the rest of ship? Bronan break doors?

Constance: yes perhaps thats a good idea

‪Bronan: Ok. Smash smash, can you or Faustus help?

Constance: whoa whoa, not smashing doors yet, id like to get a better of the state of this ship. If we can’t get it flying all we will do by breaking that door down is invite any tom, dick or drow to come in and pilfer as much as they like!

‪Bronan: Bronan not think we have too much to worry about, drop not like sunshine and not a lot of people named Tom and drow, but ok, you should ask sir dribbles about ship, he used to drive flying by machine with wings, he said it was called a biplane

‪Bronan: (so no engine in the break we have in the hold, just spare parts, how big is this thing? Would it be easy to climb in deck and poke around from the top down rather than bottom up?

‪Bronan: Also, no signs of other bodies around the areas/original crew?)

DM: Deck is maybe twenty foot up, you could maybe climb the anchor chain?

DM: No bodies down here…lots of blood. Gnolls might have eaten anyone down here

Constance: I’ll have a go at climbing up the chain to see what I can see.

DM: Sure, athletics check olease

Constance: 18

DM: You can shimmy up the chain

Constance: To the deck?

DM: Yup. The deck has about a dozen lightly charred skeletons

DM: A wheel, and a deckhouse

Constance: Can I give one of the skeletons a general poke with my stick to make sure it’s inanimate.

DM: Sure!

DM: Investigation?

DM: Or nature

Constance: 5 for investigation

DM: Skeletons!

Constance: Hmm. “HEY GUYS, THERES A BUNCH OF SKELETONS ALL BURNED AND SHIT UP HERE! I’M GOING INTO THE DECKHOUSE!”

‪Bronan: Oooh ooh skeletons, Bronan hear bard tale about skeletons living in a dark house, Bronan want to see

‪Bronan: I got a 16 to shimmy up the chain

‪Bronan: Athletics that is

DM: Bronan and Constance are now on the deck

DM: Surrounded by skeletons

‪Bronan: Faustus, want me to hoist you up? It’s cool up here!

Faustus: Yup!

Constance: I’ll help.

Faustus: Got a Nat 20

DM: Yeah, in whatever cool way you like you are up to the deck

Faustus: 1080° kick flip I think.

DM: So there are maybe twenty skeletons. Leather remnants and sun bleached clothes cover some of them. The deck itself is about six inches deep in sand (presumably from that big storm a couple days back)

Constance: Hahahaha.

DM: Faustus dramatically joins you on deck. The three of you are on the foredeck, by the anchor chain. There are two masts, and a deckhouse at the back (windows obscured by sand)

Constance: I’m going to go over and try to clear a window to peer in.

DM: Peeeeerception

Constance: 4 😞

DM: Dark inside, bright outside

‪Bronan: Oooh that’s the dark dark house where the skeletons live (I try the door, is it locked?)

DM: It’s not

DM: Swings open in your hand as soon as you turn the handle

‪Bronan: What’s inside?

‪Bronan: (sorry if this ends up being a bad decision!)

DM: A wheel, a lot of buttons and ropes and bells

DM: A skeleton cracked in half

‪Bronan: (Is there any writing around the buttons or levers?)  guys there is a load of smart people things in here

Faustus: I go in and help investigate.

DM: Bronan, investigate with advantage

‪Bronan: Oh God, int is my dump stat, buckle up boys

‪Bronan: I got a natty 20, -1 is 19

‪Bronan: Wizards dice roller is helping today!

Constance: im going to stay out on deck and keep a watch out, looking out towards the horizon etc

‪Bronan: (let’s aquilla the shit out of this ship)

DM: (solid reference)

‪Bronan: (it was such a good show, so many unanswered questions about that ship!)

‪Bronan: (Do I find a child’s diary with instructions on what the levers do?)

DM: No

DM: You remember issue 412 of Grognak the barbarian, where he fights the illithids over the monster zoo on the airship

DM: And then flies away

DM: You reckon you know the basic controls. Assuming all ropes etc were in order, you know how to power this bad boy up, how to open the cargo hold doors, etc etc

DM: (we did a very drunken one shot where an illithid had turned a monastery into a monster zoo, and tried to escape on an airship)

Constance: (I died)

‪Bronan: (thats pretty badass!)

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan remember levers, we can open doors if we need. We keep exploring hold of ship? We should bury the skeletons at some point too, away from dead dogmen

Constance: before we go about that. where do we take this?

Constance: this much gold anywhere is going to raise a bunch of question

Faustus: Man I wish we had a bag of holding.

Constance: if we go to the blessed wind, they might help us

Constance: the sand pirates cant be trusted around this much currency

Constance: assuming that there is indeed currency

‪Bronan: Maybe we find treasure first and decide? Maybe bag of hold things in ship. Faustus, don’t all bags hold things?

Constance: fair

‪Bronan: Treasure could be anything, could be child’s laughter

Constance: i hope not

Bronan: Bronan hope it’s beer, or gold beer *Slurp from axe flask*

Faustus: Valid point.

‪Bronan: (explore and then pick the safest place -probably our pockets?)

Constance: (I hesitate to ask where the pockets are in that loincloth)

‪Bronan: (some mysteries are better left unsolved)

‪Bronan: So, hatch to see treasure?

DM: Hatch is easily opened

DM: Onto a hold with two skeletons, and about fifty crates…

‪Bronan: What’s in the nearest crate?

DM: You crack the lid- spools of fine silk cloth

DM: About 45 of the crates look like this- fine trade goods

DM: 5 at the back are secured with heavy leather ties, padlocks, and iron bands at their seams

DM: The hold smells if dust and a faint hint of…bone. More skeletons, all lying still

Constance: Everything clear on deck?

DM: Deck seems clear, except the fifteen or so skeletons, and a few inches of sand

DM: So in total perhaps twenty skeletons, five locked chests, forty five chests of trade goods

‪Bronan: Bronan think skeletons need burying or burning quickly to help souls rest.

‪Bronan: (you keep saying my they’re still, and all I can think of is adding “…for now…”)

Faustus: Agreed

DM: Sure what would you like to do?

‪Bronan: Burn skeletons? We can’t really bury them but could we build em a pyre or should we save the wood for repairs?

Constance: I have some oil I believe

DM: How much? Twenty skeletons…

Constance: One flask

‪Bronan: Bones burn. Right? Dried ones?

DM: Nature check!

Constance: (actually very difficult to get rid of human remains, requires a very high heat for a sustained period of time. Even crematoriums require several hours at >200 degrees celcius)

DM: (does Constance know that…)

Constance: (uhhhh maybe?)

‪Bronan: (my character uses his nappies for ac, suspend reality!)

Constance: i am proficient in medicine

‪Bronan: 17 on survival

DM: Could burn them, would take a lot of wood. But they are pretty dry…

DM: Depends on your goal. Destroy bodies? Venerate bodies? Give good funeral, or ensure safety from skellingtons?

DM: If the latter, break them up and chuck them off the ship seems like it might work to you

Constance: i wouldn’t do that

Constance: i mean if we were going to it would be “give good funeral”

‪Bronan: (Yeah, but salt and burn the fuckers too,  I’ve seen supernatural)

Constance: (fuck i love supernatural)

‪Bronan: Its difficult to do something with them without it being a mass grave kinda deal, but we could at least lay them out on the sand and say some words?

DM: It is mid morning now, and the sun is beating down on you relentlessly. Bronan thinks the ship seems in okay repair (sails are lowered and stowed). You have no idea what happened to the crew or what made that hole in the bottom of the ship. You also haven’t yet located the engine

Faustus: Shall we look for that?

DM: Sure. You have time, and easily enough find a hatch in the hold leading down the way. It appears unlocked

DM: In the dim dusty light of the hold, it is utterly silent in the oppressive heat. You’ve got 39 closed crates of presumed trade goods, 5 with banded iron edges and locks. And a hatch going downward

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to be moving skeletons off the shop first in prep for burial rites

Constance: At this point if the coast looks clear from the deck, I’m starting to wonder what’s going on. Gonna go in and get the deets

‪Bronan: Then will rejoin the others

Constance: Is there any evidence of gnolls in the hold?

DM: Investigation!

Constance: Balls. 9

DM: Nothing you can see…they seem to have avoided the upper ship

DM: So bronan is moving skeletons off the ship? Constance looking for gnoll sign? Faustus?

Faustus: Listen at that hatch

DM: Peeeeerception

Faustus: Welp. 8.

Constance: (all the rolls have sucked recently, we are obviously on a cooler)

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 41 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 39 – The Best at Kicking

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 38, find it here!

 

DM: The fang of yeenoghu looms over Faustus, screams with rage, and attacks three times. Claw, claw, bite

DM: 12, 12, 22

Faustus: 22 hits

DM: That would be the bite

DM: Make a constitution saving throw

Faustus: Yup

Faustus: Is this poison or disease based con save?

DM: 9 piercing

DM: And yeah, poison

Faustus: Ok, so what does disease actually cover then? Because I have immunity to that but if poison isn’t covered by it am I basically just immune to the flu and maybe VD?

DM: Hm

DM: There are also diseases in game, cackling fever etc

DM: Think it only covers you for monster specific diseases and things specified as diseases. so 9 poison buddy

Faustus: Seems like a bit of a shit ability…

Faustus: Wait, 16 con save

Constance: Yeah there are some pretty grim diseases in the DMG.

DM: Oh okay you are okay for poison

DM: Constance! You are up!

Faustus: Do I still take that damage, or was that just 9 piercing and thats it?

DM: Just piercing

Faustus: Phew

Constance: Right. How fucked is this guy looking?

DM: Wee gnoll by you looks like a good hit would finish him. Covered in blood, one shoulder dislocated, one eye swollen shut

DM: Big lad has only taken one hit, but it was a solid one.still seems pretty full throttle though

Constance: I fuck him up with the staff. I’ve realised these things are pretty fucking evil

Constance: 18 to hit

Constance: And 8 bludgeoning

Constance: Assuming that hits

DM: Yup and yup

Constance: he still standing?

DM: The ankh staff caves in the gnoll’s head

Constance: booyah

DM: And a second rune glows onto the staff

DM: Above the skeletal hand, a new rune- a corpse, with a light shining on it

DM: Bronan you are up

Constance: hold on! im going to tan another healing potion as a bonus action

DM: How many of those do you have?!

Constance: none now

Constance: i had two

Constance: but yeah 9 points of healing

DM: Play

DM: Okay. Bronan, big dog man biting lizard friend. what do?

‪Bronan: Ggaaaarrrg recklessly smash

‪Bronan: 18 to hit

DM: Yeah that does it

‪Bronan: 16 damage

‪Bronan: Yay, it good to smash!

Constance: (jiminy cricket!)

DM: He looks a bit bloodied after that big hit

DM: Faustus, you are up

Faustus: Ok another slash across the stomach this time with my sword, 21 or a 9 to hit

Faustus: Assuming that does, gonna be another divine smite! Lets roll better!

Faustus: 10 slashing and… 8 radiant. That is exactly the same as last time.

DM: Oof

DM: Still standing but that is three very serious hits he has taken

DM: He almost staggers back, but yells ‘Yeenoghu!’

DM: And thrusts forward. Claw claw bite at faustus

Faustus: Mother fucker does not like me one bit

DM: 23, 20,23

Faustus: Haha yeah.

DM: 14 slashing from the claws

DM: 6 piercing from the bite

DM: And a constitution save please

Faustus: 21 save

Faustus: But I’m down

Constance: oh no!

DM: Ha, do you get disadvantage on saves if you are KO?

DM: Also, important- down after claws, or claws and bite?

Faustus: Oh claws. I had 8 hp.

Faustus: Oh so I still save a con

Faustus: But I take more damage?

Constance: yeah basically that last bite is a crit

Constance: actually no

Faustus: Ok so the bite actually just costs me 2 death saves?

Faustus: Jesus

DM: No just 1

Faustus: Oh right. Yeah.

DM: Unconscious and zero hot points are different

DM: But yeah you’ve got one failed

DM: So uh

DM: Constance

DM: Here you go

DM: Shit sorry Faustus

DM: Actually it is an auto crit if you are unconscious, and crit does two failures

DM: Hey constance

Faustus: Haha ok

DM: Your staff has two glowing runs on it

DM: The beast stands over faustus, who lies bleeding from a dozen dozen wounds

Constance: fuck

Constance: (genuine moral dilemma. I’m probably the best option to save faustus, as I have +4 medicine, but if we don’t take this thing down before its next turn then we are likely all dead as I have only 13 HP left, this will literally come down to just a couple of rolls)

Faustus: Hey if you take him out this turn then I can be stabilised much more easily out of combat!

Constance: fuck. ok i have bloodlust

Constance: FAUSTUS NOOOOOOOOOOO

Constance: slow motion run – karate kid style spinning kick and then smash in the chops with the staff

‪Bronan: (Bro Im looking like I’ve had a few pints but Bronan is totally still tanking)

Constance: Not a good start

Constance: BUUUUUUT

‪Bronan: (and I have a healers kit so I can pick you both up)

Constance: Halfling lucky!

Constance: 20 to hit on the reroll for the kick!

DM: That hits!

Constance: I’m the best at kicking

Constance: I have the best kicks

Constance: I’ve kicked so many times you wouldn’t believe

Constance: you know who cant kick? Yeenoghu

Constance: max damage = 8!

DM: He

DM: Is still standing

DM: Barely up but up

Constance: QUARTERSTAFF SMASH!

Constance: 17 to hit!

DM: (so that kick was your bonus action?)

DM: That hits

Constance: yup

Constance: martial arts bitch

Constance: 6 damage

DM: He is still alive! Stumbles to a knee

DM: And vomits black blood

DM: Bronan I think it is you?

Constance: KILL IT!

DM: Kill the gnoll, save the world. Or save your pal. Or run away

‪Bronan: Hmm I’m raging, I glance at Faustus and yell at the top of my lungs, foam flying everywhere as I recklessly attack

DM: Super

‪Bronan: 22 to hit

DM: That’ll do it

‪Bronan: 15, my  virtual d12 is on fire!

DM: As the gnoll reaches forward with the last of its strength to claw out Faustus’s throat, you clobber it with the beers. You can hear it’s jaw snap, and it slides to the ground with a sickening squelch

‪Bronan: (I shake my head) his, Bronan have weird dream of dog people and Faustus friend being hurt

‪Bronan: And you were there Constance. And so was sir dribbles

‪Bronan: Oh dear, it not dream and I’d like to try to stabilise Faustus

DM: Alright. Medicine check

‪Bronan: (I’ve never done this with a healing kit before)

DM: Oh let me check

Constance: it means you dont need to make a check

Constance: 10 uses

DM: Oh really?

DM: Alright faustus

‪Bronan: Wham bam

DM: Pulled from the brink

DM: Roll a d4 please Faustus

Faustus: 3

DM: Faustus will wake up in three or so hours probably

‪Bronan: Constance, we make camp until he wake up? Three hours give Bronan time to make some bread and bacon for tea?

‪Bronan: (Bronan has a make believe cook show that he cohosts with Sir dribbles called forks of faerun in the style of great British bake off)

Constance: yes, we should rest. you look after faustus and Ill check around to ensure that this place is safe

‪Bronan: Ok great, Bronan things he have a pomegranate to make dressing for flathead sandwich

‪Bronan: (i get out sir dribbles and uses the portable ram as a cooking counter while narrating cooking show style to am unconscious Faustus)

DM: (well done guys, you have defeated the airship guardians!)

Constance: (haha fuck)

DM: Constance you are poking about?

Constance: yeah I’d like to investigate around the airship and inside it

DM: You are in what looks to be the engine hold

DM: Aside from that, it seems to be shaped like a standard sailing ship, but the bottom back where you are is full of cogs and spare parts

DM: There is a door to the forward hold that seems barred from the other side

Constance: I’m basically trying to see if there is anything dangerous or interesting

DM: Not in this compartment. Total of six dead gnolls, dead gnoll big fella, dead gnoll shaman

Constance: search the bodies?

Constance: carefully

DM: They have assorted shitty armour. Gnoll shaman has a warped wooden staff and a necklace of teeth

DM: In the back of the hold is a dead cockatrice, that they seem to have been eating for a few days. This whole room stinks of dog and rotting meat and blood. lot of flies

DM: Much nicer out by the fire

Constance: as long as it seems safe, ill head back out to the fire

DM: Okay great

Constance: I’m fucked and broken, I reckon I’ll probably fall asleep

DM: Long rest maybe?

Constance: that is what i was going for

‪Bronan: I’ll keep watch and tend to my wounded peeps after a hearty but heart healthy dinner

DM: Kay

Faustus: I would thank you but I’m unconscious

DM: Deep in the south desert, days and miles from the nearest friendly faces, the shadow of the airship protects you as you sleep through the night. The gnoll corpses, dragged just far away to not offend your senses, are a potent reminder of the danger you face. Inside the airship, the ersatz mayor of al’shash’s offering to the pirates of the coast as he hoped to seal an alliance

DM: Your camel calmly chews red grass and relaxes by the fire.

DM: As the dawn breaks you feel revitalised

DM: A treasure hoard! The only challenge now- breaking into the ship, and figuring out how to get it back to civilisation!

‪Bronan: I wipe the remains of preparing breakfast shakshoukeh off the portable ram and sling it over my shoulder

DM: Brilliant

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 40 of The Cursed Tomb!

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Total Reroll NSCU: Episode 2 – Winter’s Fist

Welcome to the episode 2 of Total Reroll NSCU, our new Dungeons and Dragons podcast series. We are new members of the Neverwinter Special Crimes Unit, brought in to investigate strange goings on in the city of Neverwinter and to uphold the law!

This week we investigate a mysterious dead body, sitting out in the middle of a graveyard. Check it out!

Download this episode (right click and save)

We hope you enjoy the episode. We are moving to fortnightly releases, with new episodes out every other week on alternate Fridays to The Weekly Rapture pop culture podcast. If you enjoy the episode, please let us know on Twitter or Facebook, give us a 5* rating on itunes, or share with anyone you think may enjoy it!


Our intro and outro music is ‘Winter’s Howl’ by Ed Curry.

Enjoy!

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Tales from the Yawning Portal

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 38 – Rending Flesh

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 37, find it here!

 

DM: From inside the airship you hear a chorus of howls, and the strange chittering laughter of the gnolls

DM: Bronan, your move. Two singed gnolls by the fire next to faustus, three in front of you and Constance (one of which is badly injured), and three inside up to something

‪Bronan: Bronan splat nearest gnoll, constance got hit they die then I move forward

‪Bronan: 15 to hit

DM: That’ll do it. Nearest gnoll is the injured one

DM: What’s the damage

‪Bronan: A mere 11

DM: The wounded gnoll’s chest is caved in by the hammer

DM: Anything else? If not, Faustus is up

‪Bronan: Yup that’s me

‪Bronan: Done

Faustus: OK faustus closes the distance to the two singed gnolls and strikes at one with his sword

Faustus: Non-natural 20 to hit.

Faustus: 10 slashing damage assuming that hits.

DM: That is enough to slash through one of the singed gnolls thighs , killing it instantly

Faustus: That’ll do me.

DM: The one gnoll next to you throws down its javelin, and tries to rip out your throat with its teeth

DM: 15 to hit

Faustus: Faustus fends him off with his shield.

DM: The two gnolls left by bronan and Constance similarly throw down their weapons and try to bite

DM: 17 Constance, 16 bronan

Constance: 17 hits

‪Bronan: So does the 16, my abs only give me an ac of 15:(

DM: 6 piercing damage each

‪Bronan: Okey koaky

Constance: I’m not looking great

‪Bronan: Mam, I’m on 35 hitpoints and feeling fine, hide behind me

‪Bronan: Man*

‪Bronan: I’m not Irish with oedipal issues

DM: Constance, you are up

DM: From inside the ship you hear a sound like rending flesh

Constance: “THAT DOESNT SOUND GOOD!”

Constance: Then I pop open a potion of healing and down it.

Constance: For 8 points of healing

Constance: Then smash the one nearest me in the noodle with my quarter staff

Constance: 22 to hit

DM: That’ll do it

Constance: 7 bludgeoning

DM: You smash into the gnoll breaking a few of his teeth

DM: You done, or any other kung fu/movement?

Constance: nah i can’t cause its my bonus action that lets me kick people to death and i used that to tan health potion

DM: Grand. Bronan?

‪Bronan: Uuurrrraaaaahhhhggggghhhh

‪Bronan: Bronan smash next gnoll in queue, good at serial processinh

‪Bronan: Processing

‪Bronan: Balls, I got a 7

‪Bronan: Too late to say I’m recklessly attacking I guess

‪Bronan: (sorry constance!)

DM: Eh, you can recklessly attack. You attacking the unwounded gnoll gnashing at you. Or the one Constance is punching teeth out of?

Bronan: I’ll go for the closest to her

‪Bronan: So the one she is beating

‪Bronan: Cripes, second was a 14

DM: Woof. Also misses I think. And they have advantage on you next round?

DM: Faustus, your move

‪Bronan: Yup, they gonna get up on me

Faustus: I pull my sword out of the corpse of the gnoll next to me, and bring it down on the other one.

Faustus: 23 to hit

Faustus: And 11 slashing damage as I bring the sword down from his shoulder to his side

DM: Okay, you get your sword right in there. it only stops when it reaches his spine. he slips off your blade onto the hot sand

Faustus: Looking around, how do the others look like they are getting on?

Constance: (Also how many of these fucks at still standing. Lost track)

DM: Currently two gnolls, one injured by Constance, one uninjured in front of bronan

DM: Two more and a shaman disappeared inside, and you’ve since heard some weird noises from in there

DM: Constance looks pretty bloodied, bronan has taken a few knocks

Faustus: Right… I’m going to run to the entrance and poke my head in to see if I can see what is going on.

DM: Oooh

DM: Great

DM: Stealthily?

Faustus: Yes

DM: Roll for it

Faustus: Oof. 5.

DM: You see what must be the gnolls lair, in amongst broken airship engine parts and shattered crates

DM: One gnoll lies dead, eviscerated, in a circle of runes

DM: Next to it, the gnoll shaman is knelt, its body withered, energy channeling from the rune circle and corpse to the creature next to it. As you stumble into view, you see what was once a gnoll footsoldier. The shaman laughs and collapses, dead or dying

DM: And his creation turns to you

DM: A giant monstrous gnoll

Faustus: Butts.

DM: Yup!

DM: I’ll put it with the gnolls in initiative

‪Bronan: Errm, is that freaking yeenogoo?(spelling)

DM: (nah not really. A gnoll empowered with a spark of his essence maybe. Didn’t think anyone would recognise that!)

‪Bronan: (Been reading out of the abyss today in prep for my game)

Constance: (WHAT NOOOOOO!!! Please don’t kill the wiz! I have plans, such beautiful plans!!)

DM: (out of the abyss is soooo lethal)

Constance: (stupid mindflayers)

DM: (our party had a weird TPK so early on its not even funny. we were playing grievous injury rules and grim realism rests. Two martial characters with one leg each, my paladin lost an eye, and our wizard was destroyed by a lava surge)

DM: The gnolls are up!

DM: Constance, your gnoll tries to bite

DM: 17 to hit

Constance: balls

Constance: hits

DM: Oooohkay

DM: 6 damage

DM: Bronan, your gnoll tried to grapple you

‪Bronan: Bahahaha

DM: Gets a 14 for strength, roll your strength!

‪Bronan: It’s a 24 with athletics

‪Bronan: Or 22 with Base strength

DM: Okay you are fine

DM: Faustus, the gnoll Fang of Yeenoghu charges you

DM: It tries twice to rake you with its claws, and once to bite

Faustus: Jesus

DM: 22,22;7

DM: Presuming the two claws hit you

Faustus: Haha OK the claws do, bite no

DM: That’s 15 slashing damage as his distorted claws tear into you

Faustus: Ooffadoofa

DM: Constance, you are up. Injured gnoll in front of you, uninjured gnoll by bronan, the sound of rending metal and scuffling at the airship door

Constance: Crapola

Constance: I’m pissed off now.

Constance: So I’m fucking smashing the fuck out of this gnoll with my quarter staff

Constance: 16 to hit

DM: Hits!

Constance: Boom. Max damage. 12

DM: That gnoll is dead

DM: (Constance am I right in thinking this is the first time you’ve performed the killing blow with your ankh quarterstaff of Ptonos?)

Constance: Woop. Yea.

DM: As the gnoll dies, a gout of black energy surges from its corpse to the staff. a small white rune appears, glowing briefly, on the handle. it appears to be a small skeletal hand

Constance: Ahh! Weird!

Constance: Run over and kick the gnoll currently fighting Bronan in the nuts as a bonus action.

Constance: 22 to hit

Constance: Rolling all the max damage today!

DM: You solidly connect. It whimpers, and seems wounded

DM: Bronan

DM: one gnoll outside, that Constance just kicked in the nuts, currently trying to rip your throat out. In the airship doorway, a hulking figure is cackling manically and pawing at Faustus

Constance: (how far are we from faustus and the airship?)

DM: 15 ft

Constance: oh shit, didn’t realise it was that close

Constance: in that case can I use my last ki point to kick him in the nuts again?

DM: Sure

Constance: 14 to hit

DM: Misses

Constance: balls

‪Bronan: It’s OK, Bronan try to smash gnoll in face and then move up to block big gnoll

‪Bronan: I got a freaking 8, why did I waste a good roll on a strength check!

‪Bronan: Ah well, I’m gonna push past it anyway and move to the big man

DM: You’ll take an attack of opportunity from the injured gnoll if you do that

‪Bronan: Yeah it’s cool, I’m raging and my lats will protect me

DM: And it has advantage because you recklessly attacked last round? Or not because this time you didn’t

‪Bronan: They would’ve done last time but they hit anyway,  you could roll twice now to make up in case they get a crit? I attacked normally this round, like an eejit

DM: 21 to hit

DM: 7 slashing damage

‪Bronan: No worries

Constance: (half for rage no?)

‪Bronan: (I’ve been halving it. Was it already halved?)

DM: Okay, faustus you are up

Faustus: Right, first I’m going to use vow of enmity as a bonus action. I now have advantage on attacks on him for the next minute

Faustus: I’m then going to slash up at him with my sword (I’m assuming he is taller than me)

Faustus: Either a 16 or a 21 to hit

DM: He is taller than you

DM: The 21 hits

Faustus: Ok, I’m going to make it a divine smite. Is this thing undead or a fiend?

DM: It looks a bit fiendish

Faustus: So I roll I get another d8 on top of the three I’m already rolling…

DM: Shit you are doing a big boy smite

Faustus: Ok 9 slashing, and then real bad rolls on the others for another 9 radiant

DM: Woof. Your sword slashes up, trailing radiance as it slashes into the defied gnoll’s chest

DM: It howls in pain and fixes its eyes on you

Faustus: Buuuttts

DM: Anything else pre gnolls?

Faustus: Don’t think I’ve got anything else to go

DM: Constance, the heavily injured gnoll by you grasps at you and tries to bite your face

DM: 20 to hit

DM: 5 piercing damage

Constance: sheeeiiiit, im pretty fucked up, but still standing

DM: Okay

DM: The fang of yeenoghu looms over faustus, screams with rage, and attacks three times. Claw, claw, bite

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 39 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 37 – Yay or Nay on Camel?

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 36, find it here!

 

Bronan: Normally liches die if you put fire stick on them or salt

Faustus: True.

Bronan: We can’t really leave the skull here, and Bronan feel touching it is bad idea, anyone got a pouch and Bronan can scoop it up like with Sir dribbles nuggets

Constance: I agree. Perhaps we should secure it until we can find someone who knows more or do some research.

‪Bronan: I mean, Bronan have pouch but it sewn into loincloth and not feel comfortable with blood skull near junk, it might get hungry and take a bite

Constance: We can wrap it in my bedroll and stick it in this backpack.

DM: So you are picking it up, wrap in bedroll, into knapsack?

Constance: sure

DM: Well! You are at the oasis. You think the airship wreckage you heard of should be somewhere within a day or so south west

DM: You have a reasonable amount of food, and it now seems this oasis should be usable for drinking water

‪Bronan: Fill the keg and set off at night when it’s cooler?

DM: Easily done. Taking besh?

DM: Who has the potion, who has the skull gem?

Constance: I have the skull gem.

Constance: (What did the scroll say again?)

DM: You set out south west? this is the deep desert, very sparse short red grass, fine sand, long dune ridges. Almost nothing in the way of plants beyond the grass, no birds in the sky. The air is still, and as the day passes the heat is almost unbearable

DM: Is your plan to head south west and explore, seeking the wrecked airship?

‪Bronan: Yup think so

Constance: Yup I believe so.

Constance: Oh wait!

Constance: We were going to leave a sign that the water was safe to drink

Faustus: We are sure it is right?

‪Bronan: Bronan can drink if you like?

‪Bronan: I drink some water

DM: Tastes crisp and clear

‪Bronan: Mmm taste like stream of hilltribe

Faustus: Cool. Yeah let’s leave a note.

Faustus: Or sign.

Faustus: I’ll take the scroll if we hadn’t decided that.

DM: Great

DM: And as night falls after resting (long rest health wise) you strike out into the desert, seeking sign of this crashed ship

DM: You know south desert is home to great purple wyrms, sporadic gnoll tribes, and unknown monsters and wildness

DM: What is your marching order/plan?

Constance: I’ll do my usual scout ahead. As I can dash back or out of trouble if shit gets real

Constance: But never out of sight of the boys

‪Bronan: Forage and get food

Constance: Looking for signs of tracks or anything off in the distance

Faustus: On the lookout for danger nearby

Constance: (Paranoid!!)

DM: One of you needs to navigate

Faustus: Oh I’ll do that

‪Bronan: I’m proficient in survival, can I aid him between foraging?

‪Bronan: Onward towards the airship?

DM: Silhouetted by moonlight, three figures atop a dune covered in sparse red grass. Endless stars circle above. They know they are near to their goal

DM: And they all roll perception

Constance: 15

Faustus: 18

‪Bronan: 16

DM: There is a shape. A jagged inky blot against the ebony of the dunes at night. You can only just make it out. perhaps a dozen dune ridges south of you? Something large, something irregular, something different from the endless sand. Perhaps the airship…

‪Bronan: Hey friends (Bronan stage whispers) there is Shape over there, it’s the ship yes? We sneak like dogmen?

Constance: Sneaking sounds like a good plan.

Faustus: Yup

DM: Great, can you make me stealth checks and perception checks please, and a marching order! are you taking Besh the camel?

Constance: Stealth was 6, perception was 21. And I’ll go first since I can dodge the fuck away from danger.

Bronan: I got 18 stealth and 22 perception

‪Bronan: I’ll go middle 🙂

DM: Just Faustus left and then I’ll let you know what happens

Faustus: 15 stealth 8 perception.

DM: And importantly

DM: Yay or nay on camel?

‪Bronan: At this point of camel speaking and feeding Besh cacti, do we have an unspoken bond?

DM: Not particularly. She behaves like a camel would. Fairly obedient, very dumb

‪Bronan: She’s no sir dribbles, errm maybe leave her behind?

‪Bronan: Do we normally do that thing where they tie a foreleg up to let her know not to wander? If so I vote on that

DM: Sure. We will say she is left one dune over

DM: So a few things happen at once. As you sneak down the dune, Constance takes point. Ahead you can clearly see the airship

DM: It is on its side, it’s base facing you, it’s front half buried in a huge dune. A massive rent is torn in its base

DM: Faustus, you are still trying to take this in

DM: Bronan and Constance, you spot the group of huddled shapes around the dying embers of a fire

DM: Bronan immediately crouches low

DM: And Constance goes to do the same, but her footing slips in the soft sand and a small patch of red grass loudly rips free of its roots

DM: By the fire, twenty wide eyes blink open and stare at you. A harsh order is barked, a heap of brush thrown onto the fire illuminating the band- a dozen gnolls, clutching an assortment of rusted iron weapons

DM: One holds a staff wound in leather, trinkets and charms clattering as he points it at you

DM: ‘Pigmen! Pigmen are attacking! Defend Gnollhome!’

DM: Roll initiative…

Constance: 17

‪Bronan: (goddamn that’s a burn, maybe Bronan needs to learn from this and call things by their racial name rather than referring to them with a old macdonald style humanity based reference system) I got 5 ” where pigmen? We smash them too?”

Faustus: Do 4 of the gnolls have eyepatches?

DM: Yup

DM: Maybe all of them, based on your bloody perception roll

Constance: (wait what? why do they have eyepatches?)

Faustus: 20 eyes. Dozen gnolls.

Constance: ah

Constance: (maths is hard)

Constance: (have they only seen me? or all of us?)

Faustus: Haha 3

DM: They have certainly seen you

DM: Bronan and faustus are further up the dune, so possibly not them

DM: Gnolls, Constance, bronan, faustus

Faustus: Balls

DM: The one with the totem staff casts light on a log by the fire, illuminating a 30ft radius. Constance, let’s say you are at the base of the dune 40ft away and the other two are 60ft from the campfire

DM: The gnoll shaman then grabs three guards and retreats inside

DM: ‘kill them, they musn’t enter!’

DM: Leaving 8

DM: Four have spears, and throw them at Constance.

DM: 15,19,19,19. What’s your AC?

Constance: 16

DM: Oof

DM: You take fifteen piercing damage as three rough iron spears hit you

Constance: hold the phone a mo

DM: ?

Constance: (you can only take one reaction right? or would I be able to do three?)

DM: Only one

Constance: k

Constance: (then im going to use deflect missiles to try and catch one of these bitches)

Constance: (reduces damage by 1d10 + 2(dex) + 4(monk level)

Constance: (sorry +4 dex)

Constance: (so 1d10+8)

DM: Okay you Cath the first spear, but the second two hit you. Only ten damage total (am I right in thinking you only reduce the damage from one of the missiles?)

Constance: You can use your reaction to deflect or catch the missile when you are hit by a ranged weapon attack. When you do so, the damage you take from the attack is reduced by 1d10 + dex + monk level. If you reduce the damage to 0, you can catch the missile if it is small enough for you to hold in one hand and you have at least one hand free.

Constance: (abridged version from phb)

DM: So yeah. You catch one of them, the other two hit you for ten

DM: And then four gnolls run at you with axes

DM: As you fend off three of the attackers, the fourth leaps at you and strikes a stunning blow with his ragged iron axe

Constance: (hud, so 10 total damage?)

DM: (yup)

DM: (three attacks for 5 each, but one of them you negated with your kung fu)

Constance: k

DM: And now 8 slashing from that axe crit

DM: And it is your turn

Constance: How far am I from Bronan?

DM: Twenty feet

Constance: Ok. I’m going spend a ki point to use step of the wind to disengage from the four axe dudes. And run towards Bronan, when I get pretty much behind him I throw a dart (which believe is still coated with poison?) at the one who hit me.

DM: Great

Constance: 22 to hit

DM: Yup!

Constance: 5 piercing.

Constance: I can’t remember what the poison did

Constance: Apparently 2d6 looking back

Constance: A 1 and a 5 for a total of 6 poison damage.

DM: The gnoll falls back stunned and injured

DM: So there are three gnolls by the fire, and twenty feet away four surrounding Constance. Twenty foot up the dune bronan and faustus stand ready

DM: It’s bronan, then faustus to go

DM: The three by the fire seem to be readying more javelins, and the other four content to smash constance to mush

‪Bronan: I would like to rage, and charge to protect constance

‪Bronan: Yelling “bbbaaaaaaaaad dogmen go mush mush”

Constance: (I thought I got away from them?)

Constance: (Disengaged with step of the wind and then ran to Bronan)

DM: Oh yes, my mistake

DM: Presume bronan is still charging those four? or is there another plan?

‪Bronan: Yup

‪Bronan: Constance got hit, so these dogmen must get hit

‪Bronan: 18 to hit one

DM: You smash into it with the beers

‪Bronan: Blood mingles in a spray with the Foam pouring from Bronans mouth 15 slashing damage

‪Bronan: “filthy dogmen, filthy dog hitting friends, be proper dog people like sir dribbles”

DM: The gnoll, already injured by constance’s poisoned shortsword, crumples into a heap of viscera

DM: Faustus

Constance: (Rage so multi attack no?)

‪Bronan: (don’t think so at lvl 4)

Constance: ( oh wait that’s a berserker path thing nevermind)

Faustus: How far away are the other three?

DM: Forty feet

DM: But another one of them runs inside the airship

DM: So now two javelin throwers by the fire

Faustus: Ok I’m going to run towards them 30ft and breath a cone of fire at them which should just get them

Faustus: dex save for both

‪Bronan: (niiice!)

DM: They both fail, taken by surprise by the burst of flame

Faustus: They each take 9 damage

DM: Eek

DM: The howl in pain

DM: And hurl javelins at you

DM: 16 and 19 to hit

Faustus: 19 hits, 16 doesn’t

DM: That’ll be 5 piercing damage

DM: And then the three gnolls by bronan will all attack him

DM: With their rusty hatchets and scimitars

DM: 14,17,18 to hit. Any of those land, bronan?

‪Bronan: Yup, the 17 and 18

DM: That will be 8 slashing damage

DM: And now it is Constance’s turn

Constance: I’m going to circle behind the ones surrounding Bronan (in the hope of getting flanking?) and smash it in the back of the head with my quarter staff

DM: (no flanking rules in 5th edition)

Constance: (Pretty sure it’s a variant rule, I use it but if it’s not a thing fine)

DM: (not one I’ve used- give advantage if flanking? feel free)

Constance: (Yeah it’s advantage when flanking but not pushing for it, I just made the assumption)

DM: (as I said not one I’ve used, but happy to go for it)

Constance: 23 to hit with staff

Constance: 8 damage

Constance: Then for bonus action I’m going to use a ki point for flurry of blows and kick fuck oot him

Constance: 16 to hit with first, and non natural 20 with second

DM: Both will hit

Constance: 10 damage total

DM: That gnoll is driven to its knees, bloodied, one arm bent at an unnatural angle

DM: From inside the airship you hear a chorus of howls, and the strange chittering laughter of the gnolls

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 38 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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