The Lost Lighthouse: The Weekly Rapture 108 – No Sleep Till Phlebas

Welcome back to The Weekly Rapture, our fortnightly pop culture news and reviews podcast!

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Big News

This week we chat about all the The Incredibles 2 trailer, Legion Season 2, the Lost in Space Netflix reboot series, the Burnout Paradise remaster, the madness of Metal Gear Survive, the new Avengers lineup and the upcoming Amazon adaptation of Iain M. Banks’ Culture series.

Screentime – Black Panther

This week we review Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther, the latest film in the MCU! We try to go light on spoilers, but if you are worried, skip 41:00-54:05.

Now Playing – Reading/Watching/Playing

Adam The Stone Sky by N.K. Jemisin/Agents of SHIELD Season 3/Basically no video games again
Ian Vorrh by Brian Catling/Altered Carbon on Netflix/Bayonetta 1 and 2 on Nintendo Switch

Check out any of those through those Amazon links and we get a kick back! Or you can go through here.

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The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 41 – Maelstrom

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 40, find it here!

 

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

‪Bronan: As I’m moving bodies, I’ll keep an eye out for some keys in case they have a set

DM: Aha!

DM: Investigation!

‪Bronan: (I also want to look for any other shinys that may be on their remains, especially a shiny snorlax card)

‪Bronan: I got 11

DM: You find a sealed letter on the man in the cabin, assorted daggers etc, about thirty gold pieces

DM: And a six keys. 2 are the same, the others assorted

‪Bronan: I’ll show the party those when I’m done body clearing 🙂

DM: So yeah, bronan has cleared the skeletons- where are they all now?

DM: Constance and faustus thoroughly check the hold, now staring at a hatch that seems to lead…down

Constance: down the hold?

DM: You open the heavy hatch to inky blackness below

DM: Stillness

DM: Heat

DM: A steep metal ringed staircase descends into the darkness

‪Bronan: I would’ve put the skellys off the ship to the side, away from the gnolls

DM: Sure sure

‪Bronan: I’ll light a torch and see what we can see

DM: Perceptiooooooooon

‪Bronan: 18 total

DM: It’s the engine room! Three skeletons lie utterly still, dressed in overalls. Tools lay scattered around them, chisels and hammers. Emerging from the floor, a dome of blue crystal covered in runes sits. A tube with a horn at the end protrudes from one wall. The other walls have: a racy elf calendar; a complex poster with a picture of a blue runed orb; a heavily edited and overlapping shift timetable

DM: I mean. It must be the engine?

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to go with what he knows, and start flicking through the calendar

DM: Great

DM: Give me a perception, with disadvantage if Bronan fancies elves

‪Bronan: Errm I dunno, I kinda figure he’s into most things, Bro tribe rules is any hole’s a goal

‪Bronan: Got a 16, and a 15, so 15, Bronan wise, Bronan strong, Bronan look at nudes all day long

DM: As you are scanning the pictures, you realise this calendar is on the wrong day! It’s set to about…150 days ago

‪Bronan: (after a long time of looking at the pictures) I think date wrong it’s [insert correct date] not [correct date-150 days] right?  also Bronan have keys, we open boxes? Search mechanic skeletons?

‪Bronan: I search the skeletons in the engine room then put them with the others

DM: Investigation check

DM: You find nothing of note those skeletons, and can haul them to where you store the others

DM: You are left on a ship free of skeletons, full of mysteries

‪Bronan: Can I try some of the keys on the locked crates? (unless people want to leave me be?)

Constance: Ok. So situation. We are in the engine room. Big blue runed ball thing. Calendar marked to 150 days ago. Complex poster. Shift time table. Big horn tube thing.  We have a bunch of keys. Right?

DM: Yup

Constance: Ok. I want to go check out the poster and kind of compare it to the big blue orb thingy.

DM: Sure, arcana check for me please

Constance: Ugh. Five

DM: This is a big fuckin magic ball, eh

Constance: well shiz

DM: Uh huh

‪Bronan: (I really want Bronan to have a go just in case, would that be cool? He technically has 2 rituals and a proud shamanic tradition)

DM: (but of course)

‪Bronan: Nope, I got a 3

Constance: ha

Constance: Faustus! You know about complex magicks right?

‪Bronan: I think there are tiny wizards inside, maybe they hungry?

‪Bronan: (Bronan needs a brocade loincloth)

Constance: (oh yeah, ill use inspiration to give Faustus advantage on his Intelligence and Charisma rolls for tomorrow)

‪DM: Constance and bronan are in the hold. faustus is in the engine room. none of you seem to know what you are doing, and I think it’s early afternoon

‪Bronan: I’ll make lunch for people while sir dribbles browses the smut

DM: Passive perception checks

DM: Puhlease

‪Bronan: My passive is 14

Constance: Mine is 12

Faustus: 10

DM: Bronan, you hear a noise from outside somewhere. Not on the ship, somewhere below on the sands nearby. It sounds like a dry piece of wood being snapped

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan think Besh got loose, we should go check

‪Bronan: (and then he goes and looks outside)

DM: You very quickly realise what the sound is

‪Bronan: (please not skeletons)

DM: It was the sound of Besh’s neck snapping as a desert lion killed her. There are at least fifteen of them. Five clustered around Besh, five crunching the skeleton bones, and another five nervously sniffing the gnoll remains

DM: Your supplies and food and water are being pawed at vigorously

‪Bronan: (oh crap, that’s worse)

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles begins Barking at the large cats and seems to be going into pug rage, Bronan realises this and follows suit, raging and trying to charge at the nearest lion yelling bad kitties kill Besh, Bronan smaaaassssh

DM: (the lions are on the desert floor, you are fifteen foot up on the ships deck

‪Bronan: (yup, gonna jump it)

Faustus: Fuck!

Bronan: I should have enough movement to get to em

‪Bronan: (I hope!)

DM: Yeah, from 15ft up? Acrobatics check please

DM: And you can have a surprise round (I’m certainly surprised) of attacks then we will do initiative

‪Bronan: 18 total

‪Bronan: (Bronan has been chatting to Besh every day, they’re friends so he wants to get revenge)

DM: Okay, no damage from the flying leap. straight at the five munching on beau/your supplies?

‪Bronan: Yup. Getting all up in them pussycats

‪Bronan: I’m gonna give these cats some beers, and by that I mean smash them with the crushed beerkeg that is my axe, 22 to hit

DM: That hits the first lion

‪Bronan: 14 slashing

‪Bronan: And that’s my turn:) they’re going to nibble me next I guess

DM: All roll initiative

Faustus: Hahaha

Faustus: Right, I got a 2 for initiative.

‪Bronan: 20 #dicerolleroffire

Constance: 10 for initiative

DM: Bronan I need your roll with mods, apparently…

DM: I’m guessing it will be 3 though, in which case it is your turn again!

‪Bronan: My dex is +2

DM: So, to paint a picture. Bronan stands raging over a wounded lion, his axe bloodied, roaring with rage

DM: And fifteen lions roar back

DM: You can go first bronan

‪Bronan: (oh fiddlesticks, 15 lions may just be enough to action economy me down)

Constance: Action economy?

DM: (i mean…action economy?! There are fifteen of them. they are fucking lions man. You have made your choice…)

‪Bronan: (number of actions like attacks per turn, I thought there was 5, but happy to lie in this bed, Bronan smash)

‪Bronan: I try to smash the wounded lion to death

‪Bronan: 15 to hit

DM: Great, that hits

‪Bronan: My ac is 15 btw

DM: (i just checked, I said fifteen. Also thanks for AC, that will speed things

‪Bronan: 16 damage for that little kitty

‪Bronan: It’s cool, Bronan would’ve jumped in anyway

‪Bronan: He a big dumdum

DM: That first lion, the one who had killed Besh, lies slain on the sand

DM: And the rest pounce

DM: The four nearest, three hit you, total of 17 slashing damage

‪Bronan: Ok, is it halved already or want me to halve it?

DM: You half it please

‪Bronan: Cool 🙂

Constance: (Oh good)

DM: Next pack of five try to pounce on you

DM: So they Sprint forward one at a time with claws bared

DM: All five hit you

DM: So

DM: 30 slashing

DM: And make a strength saving throw

‪Bronan: Highest was 25 (natty 20)

DM: You get any below 13?

‪Bronan: Ooh I rolled once with advantage,  got a 13 and a 25, I’ll make 4 more rolls

‪Bronan: (rolls for 4 more anyway!)

‪Bronan: Lowest (given advantage) was an 18

DM: Wow

DM: Okay

‪Bronan: If you want to speed it up, my strength save is a plus 5

DM: As you bat away these pouncing lions you keep to your feet, despite the hideous raking of their claws

DM: And the final five pounce

DM: Four succeed in clawing you (so four str saves again please)

DM: 23 slashing damage

Constance: Meanwhile, in the engine room. “Faustus, do you know where Bronan has got to? And where is that calendar?”

‪Bronan: Got a 12 for one of them, next lowest was a 15

DM: Bronan you are on the floor

DM: Take another 10 piercing as one tries to bit your face off

DM: And now, Constance…

‪Bronan: Cool (current hp is 18 for you at home)

‪Bronan: (13 rather)

Constance: Right. 1. Have I realised that bronan is in trouble?

Constance: 2. How far is he from me?

DM: Yeah this has been possibly the loudest 12 seconds one could imagine

Constance: Oh shit. K.

DM: Bronan, screaming in rage at Besh’s demise, leapt from the ship and attacked and killed a lion. 14 other lions are now circling him, pouncing, roaring. It’s a fucking maelstrom of lions

DM: So you guys I’ll say are on the deck, fifteen feet up

DM: Looking down on a storm of claws and violence

Constance: I’m basically trying to work out if I can get in, grab bronan and get back out in one turn.

‪Bronan: (can I request that for my tombstone? “he died in a fucking maelstrom of lions)

DM: Hahaha

DM: Constance- you could leap down and reach him (with an acrobatics check), and drag him out. But you’d be taking heaps of opportunity attacks on the way out, and need to presumably climb up the ship again (another acrobatics/athletics check). Chuck him a rope and pull?

DM: Just try and picture in your head 14 lions against this beast of a barbarian, fifteen feet below you. How do you extricate him/save the day?

Constance: Would I though! Cause I have a plan!

DM: Feel free

DM: Lions are hungry, and you are a tall halfling

Constance: Ok. I leap down and grab bronan.

Constance: (Tall-ling is the preferred term you fucking racist)

‪Bronan: (if not I’m gonna animal handling these fuckers to make me the alpha and cruise with a pack of lion minions)

DM: Acrobatics check, it’s a fifteen foot drop

Constance: 19 on acrobatics

DM: Okay you flip onto the sand, into the pack, and are next to bronan. a lion is currently gnawing on him and dozens others batting in with their claws

DM: What exactly are you doing?!

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 42, the penultimate part of of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

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Total Reroll NSCU: Episode 3 – Advanced Interrogation Techniques

Welcome to the episode 3 of Total Reroll NSCU, our new Dungeons and Dragons podcast series. We are new members of the Neverwinter Special Crimes Unit, brought in to investigate strange goings on in the city of Neverwinter and to uphold the law!

This week we interrogate the demon-worshipping grave robbers that we captured last time!

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We hope you enjoy the episode. We are moving to fortnightly releases, with new episodes out every other week on alternate Fridays to The Weekly Rapture pop culture podcast. If you enjoy the episode, please let us know on Twitter or Facebook, give us a 5* rating on itunes, or share with anyone you think may enjoy it!


Our intro and outro music is ‘Winter’s Howl’ by Ed Curry.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

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Tales from the Yawning Portal

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 40 – Tom, Dick or Drow

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 39, find it here!

 

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

Faustus: Faustus laughs heartily with some effort, still strained from his wounds.

DM: In the light of day, you are acutely aware you slept on a battlefield. All a bit… gooey. Lots of flies already

Constance: So I poked around a little before passing out last night.

‪Bronan: Breakfast done, shall we move the bodies? Sir dribbles needs a clean litterbox

Constance: There is a barred door to the gold in the airship

Constance: Hold

Constance: Not gold

Constance: Well maybe gold

DM: Now it is day you can make out the ship better. it is slightly listed to one side away from you, so you can’t see the deck. You can make out a single mast, but no sails. An anchor line runs off the front by the prow into the sand. And of course the ten foot hole in the bottom of the hold you have seen

‪Bronan: (wish we had some gnome wizards now!)

Constance: So gentlemen. Let’s assume all this gold is behind that door. We have two questions to answer before we go breaking any doors down.

Constance: Question 1: how do we get that much currency out of here?

Constance: And more importantly question 2. What do we do with it?

‪Bronan: Fly ship?

‪Bronan: Bronan and Besh drag gold to pirate town, buy small tavern as investment, called Simply the Besh

‪Bronan: ?

Faustus: Besh is OK right?

Faustus: Also, very good work.

Constance: I mean yes that is a thing we could do Bronan. But what of Melbos? Al’shash

Constance: Also, I’m not certain this ship is repairable

DM: Besh okay

DM: Lots of engine parts in that hold but…you’d have to do some investigation

DM: You’ve only really looked inside at night

DM: But it is day now! What would you like to do?

Constance: Another poke about I suppose

DM: In the hold?

DM: Investigation rolls! Or history, or nature for how long it’s been here/what’s been around. Or arcana for what magic is happening. Basically say what you’d like to do

DM: Or for a poke about, investigation!

Constance: 8 on investigation *sigh*

Faustus: We all doing it?

DM: Doing whatever you like, you tell me!

DM: Constance, heaps of gnoll blood, sand, and smashed crates. Lots of cogs and springs and wires lying about

Constance: I say that

Faustus: I too will investigate

Faustus: 17

DM: Lot of sand

Constance: (Shiiiit monks get boss as fuck at 5th level)

DM: Lot of gnoll blood

DM: Lot of…machine parts that have come out of these crates

DM: Not the engine

‪Bronan: Bronan will stand around holding a battering ram waiting for his buddies to tell him what to hit

‪Bronan: Should we try to explore the rest of ship? Bronan break doors?

Constance: yes perhaps thats a good idea

‪Bronan: Ok. Smash smash, can you or Faustus help?

Constance: whoa whoa, not smashing doors yet, id like to get a better of the state of this ship. If we can’t get it flying all we will do by breaking that door down is invite any tom, dick or drow to come in and pilfer as much as they like!

‪Bronan: Bronan not think we have too much to worry about, drop not like sunshine and not a lot of people named Tom and drow, but ok, you should ask sir dribbles about ship, he used to drive flying by machine with wings, he said it was called a biplane

‪Bronan: (so no engine in the break we have in the hold, just spare parts, how big is this thing? Would it be easy to climb in deck and poke around from the top down rather than bottom up?

‪Bronan: Also, no signs of other bodies around the areas/original crew?)

DM: Deck is maybe twenty foot up, you could maybe climb the anchor chain?

DM: No bodies down here…lots of blood. Gnolls might have eaten anyone down here

Constance: I’ll have a go at climbing up the chain to see what I can see.

DM: Sure, athletics check olease

Constance: 18

DM: You can shimmy up the chain

Constance: To the deck?

DM: Yup. The deck has about a dozen lightly charred skeletons

DM: A wheel, and a deckhouse

Constance: Can I give one of the skeletons a general poke with my stick to make sure it’s inanimate.

DM: Sure!

DM: Investigation?

DM: Or nature

Constance: 5 for investigation

DM: Skeletons!

Constance: Hmm. “HEY GUYS, THERES A BUNCH OF SKELETONS ALL BURNED AND SHIT UP HERE! I’M GOING INTO THE DECKHOUSE!”

‪Bronan: Oooh ooh skeletons, Bronan hear bard tale about skeletons living in a dark house, Bronan want to see

‪Bronan: I got a 16 to shimmy up the chain

‪Bronan: Athletics that is

DM: Bronan and Constance are now on the deck

DM: Surrounded by skeletons

‪Bronan: Faustus, want me to hoist you up? It’s cool up here!

Faustus: Yup!

Constance: I’ll help.

Faustus: Got a Nat 20

DM: Yeah, in whatever cool way you like you are up to the deck

Faustus: 1080° kick flip I think.

DM: So there are maybe twenty skeletons. Leather remnants and sun bleached clothes cover some of them. The deck itself is about six inches deep in sand (presumably from that big storm a couple days back)

Constance: Hahahaha.

DM: Faustus dramatically joins you on deck. The three of you are on the foredeck, by the anchor chain. There are two masts, and a deckhouse at the back (windows obscured by sand)

Constance: I’m going to go over and try to clear a window to peer in.

DM: Peeeeerception

Constance: 4 😞

DM: Dark inside, bright outside

‪Bronan: Oooh that’s the dark dark house where the skeletons live (I try the door, is it locked?)

DM: It’s not

DM: Swings open in your hand as soon as you turn the handle

‪Bronan: What’s inside?

‪Bronan: (sorry if this ends up being a bad decision!)

DM: A wheel, a lot of buttons and ropes and bells

DM: A skeleton cracked in half

‪Bronan: (Is there any writing around the buttons or levers?)  guys there is a load of smart people things in here

Faustus: I go in and help investigate.

DM: Bronan, investigate with advantage

‪Bronan: Oh God, int is my dump stat, buckle up boys

‪Bronan: I got a natty 20, -1 is 19

‪Bronan: Wizards dice roller is helping today!

Constance: im going to stay out on deck and keep a watch out, looking out towards the horizon etc

‪Bronan: (let’s aquilla the shit out of this ship)

DM: (solid reference)

‪Bronan: (it was such a good show, so many unanswered questions about that ship!)

‪Bronan: (Do I find a child’s diary with instructions on what the levers do?)

DM: No

DM: You remember issue 412 of Grognak the barbarian, where he fights the illithids over the monster zoo on the airship

DM: And then flies away

DM: You reckon you know the basic controls. Assuming all ropes etc were in order, you know how to power this bad boy up, how to open the cargo hold doors, etc etc

DM: (we did a very drunken one shot where an illithid had turned a monastery into a monster zoo, and tried to escape on an airship)

Constance: (I died)

‪Bronan: (thats pretty badass!)

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan remember levers, we can open doors if we need. We keep exploring hold of ship? We should bury the skeletons at some point too, away from dead dogmen

Constance: before we go about that. where do we take this?

Constance: this much gold anywhere is going to raise a bunch of question

Faustus: Man I wish we had a bag of holding.

Constance: if we go to the blessed wind, they might help us

Constance: the sand pirates cant be trusted around this much currency

Constance: assuming that there is indeed currency

‪Bronan: Maybe we find treasure first and decide? Maybe bag of hold things in ship. Faustus, don’t all bags hold things?

Constance: fair

‪Bronan: Treasure could be anything, could be child’s laughter

Constance: i hope not

Bronan: Bronan hope it’s beer, or gold beer *Slurp from axe flask*

Faustus: Valid point.

‪Bronan: (explore and then pick the safest place -probably our pockets?)

Constance: (I hesitate to ask where the pockets are in that loincloth)

‪Bronan: (some mysteries are better left unsolved)

‪Bronan: So, hatch to see treasure?

DM: Hatch is easily opened

DM: Onto a hold with two skeletons, and about fifty crates…

‪Bronan: What’s in the nearest crate?

DM: You crack the lid- spools of fine silk cloth

DM: About 45 of the crates look like this- fine trade goods

DM: 5 at the back are secured with heavy leather ties, padlocks, and iron bands at their seams

DM: The hold smells if dust and a faint hint of…bone. More skeletons, all lying still

Constance: Everything clear on deck?

DM: Deck seems clear, except the fifteen or so skeletons, and a few inches of sand

DM: So in total perhaps twenty skeletons, five locked chests, forty five chests of trade goods

‪Bronan: Bronan think skeletons need burying or burning quickly to help souls rest.

‪Bronan: (you keep saying my they’re still, and all I can think of is adding “…for now…”)

Faustus: Agreed

DM: Sure what would you like to do?

‪Bronan: Burn skeletons? We can’t really bury them but could we build em a pyre or should we save the wood for repairs?

Constance: I have some oil I believe

DM: How much? Twenty skeletons…

Constance: One flask

‪Bronan: Bones burn. Right? Dried ones?

DM: Nature check!

Constance: (actually very difficult to get rid of human remains, requires a very high heat for a sustained period of time. Even crematoriums require several hours at >200 degrees celcius)

DM: (does Constance know that…)

Constance: (uhhhh maybe?)

‪Bronan: (my character uses his nappies for ac, suspend reality!)

Constance: i am proficient in medicine

‪Bronan: 17 on survival

DM: Could burn them, would take a lot of wood. But they are pretty dry…

DM: Depends on your goal. Destroy bodies? Venerate bodies? Give good funeral, or ensure safety from skellingtons?

DM: If the latter, break them up and chuck them off the ship seems like it might work to you

Constance: i wouldn’t do that

Constance: i mean if we were going to it would be “give good funeral”

‪Bronan: (Yeah, but salt and burn the fuckers too,  I’ve seen supernatural)

Constance: (fuck i love supernatural)

‪Bronan: Its difficult to do something with them without it being a mass grave kinda deal, but we could at least lay them out on the sand and say some words?

DM: It is mid morning now, and the sun is beating down on you relentlessly. Bronan thinks the ship seems in okay repair (sails are lowered and stowed). You have no idea what happened to the crew or what made that hole in the bottom of the ship. You also haven’t yet located the engine

Faustus: Shall we look for that?

DM: Sure. You have time, and easily enough find a hatch in the hold leading down the way. It appears unlocked

DM: In the dim dusty light of the hold, it is utterly silent in the oppressive heat. You’ve got 39 closed crates of presumed trade goods, 5 with banded iron edges and locks. And a hatch going downward

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to be moving skeletons off the shop first in prep for burial rites

Constance: At this point if the coast looks clear from the deck, I’m starting to wonder what’s going on. Gonna go in and get the deets

‪Bronan: Then will rejoin the others

Constance: Is there any evidence of gnolls in the hold?

DM: Investigation!

Constance: Balls. 9

DM: Nothing you can see…they seem to have avoided the upper ship

DM: So bronan is moving skeletons off the ship? Constance looking for gnoll sign? Faustus?

Faustus: Listen at that hatch

DM: Peeeeerception

Faustus: Welp. 8.

Constance: (all the rolls have sucked recently, we are obviously on a cooler)

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 41 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Lost Lighthouse: The Weekly Rapture 107 – Alden Edelweiss

Welcome back to The Weekly Rapture, our fortnightly pop culture news and reviews podcast!

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Big News

This week we chat about all these new trailers: Jurassic World 2: Fallen KingdomMission Impossible: FalloutMuteThe Cloverfield ParadoxAnt-Man and the WaspVenomWestworld Season 2Deadpool 2 and Solo. Phew! No time to talk about anything else, because Adam finished work too late!

Screentime

No Screentime this week, but next time we will be talking about Black Panther.

Now Playing – Reading/Watching/Playing

Adam The Stone Sky by N.K. Jemisin and The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie/Black Lightning on Netflix/Basically no video games
Ian Le Morte D’Arthur by Thomas Mallory/Altered Carbon on Netflix/Monster Hunter World on PS4

Check out any of those through those Amazon links and we get a kick back! Or you can go through here.

You can as always get in touch through Facebook or on Twitter @lost_lighthouse, email us at thelostlighthouse@live.co.uk or sound off in the ‘leave a reply’ box at the bottom of the podcast page on the website.Fancy supporting our site? Head on over to our Paypal donation page! It’s completely optional, set your own price! Even £1 helps us with hosting costs and we’d really appreciate it! Cheers!

Comic Book Review – The Wicked + The Divine: 1923 (Image Comics)

Adam reads as many comics as he can afford. Then he reviews one every other week.

It has been nearly 4 years since The Wicked + The Divine started (I reviewed it way back then too!), and in that time the incredibly inventive series from Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie has seen 33 issues and a handful of one shots. This week saw the release of another of these additional stories, with The Wicked + The Divine: 1923. Gillen continues writing duties, with art by Aud Koch and lettering from Clayton Cowles.

Cover art by Jamie McKelvie and Matt Wilson

With the conclusion of Imperial Phase Part II, the series takes the opportunity to again visit a previous pantheon of doomed gods, this time in 1923. Steeped in post-war modernism, this crop of gods resemble try-hard artists more than the aggressively hip stars of the main series. As the gods reach their two year expiry date, they congregate on an island for a party. But the party soon turns into a murder mystery, and while some of the players in the mystery may be more obvious if you are up to date with the series, there is a complex interplay between the suspects, informed by both the era and the natures of the gods in question.

The Wicked + The Divine has always been wildly experimental in its storytelling, both in the prose and in the art. This issue is no exception, and is laid out as a multi-chaptered short story punctuated by bursts of art for the key moments. Gillen’s script is complicated, almost to the point of convolution, but with a lack of hand-holding that continues WicDev’s heady and complete plotting. The murder mystery aspect works well, and the extended prose allows the characters to be fleshed out clearly to a degree that would usually not be achieved in a one shot. And the synergy of the closing pages with the main series is frankly deeply satisfying.

Art by Aud Koch

While the bulk of the issue is prose, the art form Koch is truly stunning. Almost black and white, except for all the blood, is is expressionism in its weirdness, with a bleak loneliness that punctuates the quiet moments and heightens the small amounts of action and the larger group shots and vistas.

These one shots for The Wicked + The Divine continue to impress, and 1923 may be the strongest yet. With a strong cast of characters, links to the main series and gorgeous art (not that McKelvie’s work on the main series isn’t equally gorgeous. This is different-gorgeous), it is well worth your time and as a short story, stands alone fairly well too. Check this out at your LCS now!

Score: 8.5 Zeitgeists out of 10

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 39 – The Best at Kicking

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 38, find it here!

 

DM: The fang of yeenoghu looms over Faustus, screams with rage, and attacks three times. Claw, claw, bite

DM: 12, 12, 22

Faustus: 22 hits

DM: That would be the bite

DM: Make a constitution saving throw

Faustus: Yup

Faustus: Is this poison or disease based con save?

DM: 9 piercing

DM: And yeah, poison

Faustus: Ok, so what does disease actually cover then? Because I have immunity to that but if poison isn’t covered by it am I basically just immune to the flu and maybe VD?

DM: Hm

DM: There are also diseases in game, cackling fever etc

DM: Think it only covers you for monster specific diseases and things specified as diseases. so 9 poison buddy

Faustus: Seems like a bit of a shit ability…

Faustus: Wait, 16 con save

Constance: Yeah there are some pretty grim diseases in the DMG.

DM: Oh okay you are okay for poison

DM: Constance! You are up!

Faustus: Do I still take that damage, or was that just 9 piercing and thats it?

DM: Just piercing

Faustus: Phew

Constance: Right. How fucked is this guy looking?

DM: Wee gnoll by you looks like a good hit would finish him. Covered in blood, one shoulder dislocated, one eye swollen shut

DM: Big lad has only taken one hit, but it was a solid one.still seems pretty full throttle though

Constance: I fuck him up with the staff. I’ve realised these things are pretty fucking evil

Constance: 18 to hit

Constance: And 8 bludgeoning

Constance: Assuming that hits

DM: Yup and yup

Constance: he still standing?

DM: The ankh staff caves in the gnoll’s head

Constance: booyah

DM: And a second rune glows onto the staff

DM: Above the skeletal hand, a new rune- a corpse, with a light shining on it

DM: Bronan you are up

Constance: hold on! im going to tan another healing potion as a bonus action

DM: How many of those do you have?!

Constance: none now

Constance: i had two

Constance: but yeah 9 points of healing

DM: Play

DM: Okay. Bronan, big dog man biting lizard friend. what do?

‪Bronan: Ggaaaarrrg recklessly smash

‪Bronan: 18 to hit

DM: Yeah that does it

‪Bronan: 16 damage

‪Bronan: Yay, it good to smash!

Constance: (jiminy cricket!)

DM: He looks a bit bloodied after that big hit

DM: Faustus, you are up

Faustus: Ok another slash across the stomach this time with my sword, 21 or a 9 to hit

Faustus: Assuming that does, gonna be another divine smite! Lets roll better!

Faustus: 10 slashing and… 8 radiant. That is exactly the same as last time.

DM: Oof

DM: Still standing but that is three very serious hits he has taken

DM: He almost staggers back, but yells ‘Yeenoghu!’

DM: And thrusts forward. Claw claw bite at faustus

Faustus: Mother fucker does not like me one bit

DM: 23, 20,23

Faustus: Haha yeah.

DM: 14 slashing from the claws

DM: 6 piercing from the bite

DM: And a constitution save please

Faustus: 21 save

Faustus: But I’m down

Constance: oh no!

DM: Ha, do you get disadvantage on saves if you are KO?

DM: Also, important- down after claws, or claws and bite?

Faustus: Oh claws. I had 8 hp.

Faustus: Oh so I still save a con

Faustus: But I take more damage?

Constance: yeah basically that last bite is a crit

Constance: actually no

Faustus: Ok so the bite actually just costs me 2 death saves?

Faustus: Jesus

DM: No just 1

Faustus: Oh right. Yeah.

DM: Unconscious and zero hot points are different

DM: But yeah you’ve got one failed

DM: So uh

DM: Constance

DM: Here you go

DM: Shit sorry Faustus

DM: Actually it is an auto crit if you are unconscious, and crit does two failures

DM: Hey constance

Faustus: Haha ok

DM: Your staff has two glowing runs on it

DM: The beast stands over faustus, who lies bleeding from a dozen dozen wounds

Constance: fuck

Constance: (genuine moral dilemma. I’m probably the best option to save faustus, as I have +4 medicine, but if we don’t take this thing down before its next turn then we are likely all dead as I have only 13 HP left, this will literally come down to just a couple of rolls)

Faustus: Hey if you take him out this turn then I can be stabilised much more easily out of combat!

Constance: fuck. ok i have bloodlust

Constance: FAUSTUS NOOOOOOOOOOO

Constance: slow motion run – karate kid style spinning kick and then smash in the chops with the staff

‪Bronan: (Bro Im looking like I’ve had a few pints but Bronan is totally still tanking)

Constance: Not a good start

Constance: BUUUUUUT

‪Bronan: (and I have a healers kit so I can pick you both up)

Constance: Halfling lucky!

Constance: 20 to hit on the reroll for the kick!

DM: That hits!

Constance: I’m the best at kicking

Constance: I have the best kicks

Constance: I’ve kicked so many times you wouldn’t believe

Constance: you know who cant kick? Yeenoghu

Constance: max damage = 8!

DM: He

DM: Is still standing

DM: Barely up but up

Constance: QUARTERSTAFF SMASH!

Constance: 17 to hit!

DM: (so that kick was your bonus action?)

DM: That hits

Constance: yup

Constance: martial arts bitch

Constance: 6 damage

DM: He is still alive! Stumbles to a knee

DM: And vomits black blood

DM: Bronan I think it is you?

Constance: KILL IT!

DM: Kill the gnoll, save the world. Or save your pal. Or run away

‪Bronan: Hmm I’m raging, I glance at Faustus and yell at the top of my lungs, foam flying everywhere as I recklessly attack

DM: Super

‪Bronan: 22 to hit

DM: That’ll do it

‪Bronan: 15, my  virtual d12 is on fire!

DM: As the gnoll reaches forward with the last of its strength to claw out Faustus’s throat, you clobber it with the beers. You can hear it’s jaw snap, and it slides to the ground with a sickening squelch

‪Bronan: (I shake my head) his, Bronan have weird dream of dog people and Faustus friend being hurt

‪Bronan: And you were there Constance. And so was sir dribbles

‪Bronan: Oh dear, it not dream and I’d like to try to stabilise Faustus

DM: Alright. Medicine check

‪Bronan: (I’ve never done this with a healing kit before)

DM: Oh let me check

Constance: it means you dont need to make a check

Constance: 10 uses

DM: Oh really?

DM: Alright faustus

‪Bronan: Wham bam

DM: Pulled from the brink

DM: Roll a d4 please Faustus

Faustus: 3

DM: Faustus will wake up in three or so hours probably

‪Bronan: Constance, we make camp until he wake up? Three hours give Bronan time to make some bread and bacon for tea?

‪Bronan: (Bronan has a make believe cook show that he cohosts with Sir dribbles called forks of faerun in the style of great British bake off)

Constance: yes, we should rest. you look after faustus and Ill check around to ensure that this place is safe

‪Bronan: Ok great, Bronan things he have a pomegranate to make dressing for flathead sandwich

‪Bronan: (i get out sir dribbles and uses the portable ram as a cooking counter while narrating cooking show style to am unconscious Faustus)

DM: (well done guys, you have defeated the airship guardians!)

Constance: (haha fuck)

DM: Constance you are poking about?

Constance: yeah I’d like to investigate around the airship and inside it

DM: You are in what looks to be the engine hold

DM: Aside from that, it seems to be shaped like a standard sailing ship, but the bottom back where you are is full of cogs and spare parts

DM: There is a door to the forward hold that seems barred from the other side

Constance: I’m basically trying to see if there is anything dangerous or interesting

DM: Not in this compartment. Total of six dead gnolls, dead gnoll big fella, dead gnoll shaman

Constance: search the bodies?

Constance: carefully

DM: They have assorted shitty armour. Gnoll shaman has a warped wooden staff and a necklace of teeth

DM: In the back of the hold is a dead cockatrice, that they seem to have been eating for a few days. This whole room stinks of dog and rotting meat and blood. lot of flies

DM: Much nicer out by the fire

Constance: as long as it seems safe, ill head back out to the fire

DM: Okay great

Constance: I’m fucked and broken, I reckon I’ll probably fall asleep

DM: Long rest maybe?

Constance: that is what i was going for

‪Bronan: I’ll keep watch and tend to my wounded peeps after a hearty but heart healthy dinner

DM: Kay

Faustus: I would thank you but I’m unconscious

DM: Deep in the south desert, days and miles from the nearest friendly faces, the shadow of the airship protects you as you sleep through the night. The gnoll corpses, dragged just far away to not offend your senses, are a potent reminder of the danger you face. Inside the airship, the ersatz mayor of al’shash’s offering to the pirates of the coast as he hoped to seal an alliance

DM: Your camel calmly chews red grass and relaxes by the fire.

DM: As the dawn breaks you feel revitalised

DM: A treasure hoard! The only challenge now- breaking into the ship, and figuring out how to get it back to civilisation!

‪Bronan: I wipe the remains of preparing breakfast shakshoukeh off the portable ram and sling it over my shoulder

DM: Brilliant

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 40 of The Cursed Tomb!

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