Total Reroll: Episode 36 – Only in Dreams (S2)

Welcome back to Season 2 of Total Reroll, our Dungeons and Dragons podcast! Adam has been playing some some good old fashioned D&D with some friends in London, except it isn’t old fashioned because it’s 5th edition. After finishing ‘Hoard of the Dragon Queen’, we’ve moved on with the same characters to ‘Rise of Tiamat’, the second part of the Tyranny of Dragons storyline. You can find a mega-post of all of the Season 1 content here.

Last time Red exacted her revenge on the orc who killed her entire tribe, as she and the gang cut a bloody path through the hundred of orcs he led at their camp in Red Blade Gulch. Now their friends the giants are on side against the dragon cult, so the gang are getting back on Skyreach castle to head back south. Not before things get extremely dark first though!


Download this episode (right click and save)

If you have any feedback email us at thelostlighthouse@live.co.uk, tweet us @lost_lighthouse or get in touch via our Facebook! Subscribe to the podcast feed or on itunes, and feel free to share or retweet too! Fancy supporting Total Reroll and The Lost Lighthouse? Check out our completely optional, pay-what-you-want Paypal donation page!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Acid Splash’ by Rich Thomson, and our “adverts” are provided by Anthony Walsh.

Enjoy!

Total Reroll: Episode 35 – Destructive Wrath (S2)

Welcome back to Season 2 of Total Reroll, our Dungeons and Dragons podcast! Adam has been playing some some good old fashioned D&D with some friends in London, except it isn’t old fashioned because it’s 5th edition. After finishing ‘Hoard of the Dragon Queen’, we’ve moved on with the same characters to ‘Rise of Tiamat’, the second part of the Tyranny of Dragons storyline. You can find a mega-post of all of the Season 1 content here.

Last time the gang lay siege to a huge orc camp at Red Blade Gulch from atop the floating castle Skyreach. In the command tent below is the orc who murdered Red’s entire tribe, and upon finding that out she dove straight down into the tent on her own to face him (with a little help from some Featherfall brand chewing gum…).

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Blurry map of the command tent at the start of the fight: ‘R’ is Red, ‘G’ is Ghrazghull, ‘M’ is the mage, squares are chests, black circles are pillars and white circles are the many, many Orogs


Download this episode (right click and save)

If you have any feedback email us at thelostlighthouse@live.co.uk, tweet us @lost_lighthouse or get in touch via our Facebook! Subscribe to the podcast feed or on itunes, and feel free to share or retweet too! Fancy supporting Total Reroll and The Lost Lighthouse? Check out our completely optional, pay-what-you-want Paypal donation page!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Acid Splash’ by Rich Thomson, and our “adverts” are provided by Anthony Walsh.

Enjoy!

Total Reroll: Episode 34 – Red Blade Gulch (S2)

Welcome back to Season 2 of Total Reroll, our Dungeons and Dragons podcast! Adam has been playing some some good old fashioned D&D with some friends in London, except it isn’t old fashioned because it’s 5th edition. After finishing ‘Hoard of the Dragon Queen’, we’ve moved on with the same characters to ‘Rise of Tiamat’, the second part of the Tyranny of Dragons storyline. You can find a mega-post of all of the Season 1 content here.

Last time the gang headed back to Skyreach to enlist the help of their giant allies in the fight against the cult of the dragon. Before they can help out, they need our help in taking out a huge orc camp at Red Blade Gulch. So we’re off to destroy it!

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Map of Red Blade Gulch. The torn bit of paper is Skyreach, moving along as we attacked.


Download this episode (right click and save)

If you have any feedback email us at thelostlighthouse@live.co.uk, tweet us @lost_lighthouse or get in touch via our Facebook! Subscribe to the podcast feed or on itunes, and feel free to share or retweet too! Fancy supporting Total Reroll and The Lost Lighthouse? Check out our completely optional, pay-what-you-want Paypal donation page!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Acid Splash’ by Rich Thomson, and our “adverts” are provided by Anthony Walsh.

Enjoy!

Total Reroll: Episode 33 – Return to Skyreach (S2)

Welcome back to Season 2 of Total Reroll, our Dungeons and Dragons podcast! Adam has been playing some some good old fashioned D&D with some friends in London, except it isn’t old fashioned because it’s 5th edition. After finishing ‘Hoard of the Dragon Queen’, we’ve moved on with the same characters to ‘Rise of Tiamat’, the second part of the Tyranny of Dragons storyline. You can find a mega-post of all of the Season 1 content here.

Last time the gang defeated the dragon Old White Death in some sort of Jurassic Park remake, if Jurassic Park had also had a dragon fighting the T-Rex. Before heading off to Skyreach castle to recruit their giant friends in the fight against the dragon cult, they’re going to have a joyous celebration with the ice hunters who are now free of the dragon’s evil tyranny. Probably.


Download this episode (right click and save)

If you have any feedback email us at thelostlighthouse@live.co.uk, tweet us @lost_lighthouse or get in touch via our Facebook! Subscribe to the podcast feed or on itunes, and feel free to share or retweet too! Fancy supporting Total Reroll and The Lost Lighthouse? Check out our completely optional, pay-what-you-want Paypal donation page!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Acid Splash’ by Rich Thomson, and our “adverts” are provided by Anthony Walsh.

Enjoy!

So it’s All Come Down to This… Zombies and Herpes Arrows

Adam has started playing Dungeons and Dragons with some friends in London. Here is his account of their first epic journey.

We returned straight back into the fray outside the cave at Wyvern Tor, with a group of orcs rushing towards the entrance to fight us. The ogre Gog was at the forefront, but as he reached us the dragon Venomfang made his reappearance. He swooped down, grabbing Rick and Deano in each of his claws, picking up Tiny by his pack hanging from his teeth (guess which three party members were away for this session?), and flew off with them, cackling. At the sight of the dragon, the ogre turned tail and ran for the nearby hills. This still left 4 orcs and their huge leader Brugor to attack our now depleted party of four.

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Bubbles quickly dispatched one with a herpes arrow to the face. I should explain. Part of Bubbles’ backstory is that they probably/definitely have herpes. At the start of every session, a dice roll is required to see if there is a particularly bad flare-up that day. The dice roll was poor this time, but Bubbles coated an arrow with the herpes to make it… poisonous? More powerful? Disgusting?

Disgusting.

So this poor orc died, from a combination of herpes and an arrow to the face. King Roberto took out another, ramming a javelin up under its chin not unlike what happens to Timothy Dalton in Hot Fuzz, but driving it home through the brainpan instead. The orc leader Brugor was gradually hacked down by the group, leaving two left who immediately surrendered. They were questioned about the location of Cragmoor Castle, but unhappy with the answers from the first now defenceless orc, Roberto slit his throat. The other, very panicked now, gives us gold and a magic coin.

This session, the DM brought in magic items (most of which he bought real-world versions of, from Claire’s Accessories, and which had to be brought along to each session if the holder wanted to use its effects). Lordy yelled ‘MINE!’ straight away, as they did most of the subsequent magic items, which isn’t really how teamwork functions. The orc told us the wizard Cost, the necromancer who sent us to kill all the orcs, was their friend. After letting him go, we set to cutting off all the ears of the dead orcs, and Brugor’s entire head as proof of a job well done. As is tradition, we looted the bodies, where we found a lovely note from one of their kids . Apparently orcs have blue highlighters.

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On way back during the night, Bubbles stole Lordy’s lucky coin. Lots of hassle ensued, and probable meta gaming that probably should have been punished. Back at the Owls Nest, we found Glass-Staff inside the tent talking with Cost, who tried to silently indicate to us to come back later. Bubbles and Glass-Staff recognise each other an have an awkward moment (as Glass-Staff was the one who gave Bubbles herpes) but before any further discussion Lordy attacked for what were very good reasons I’m sure. Cost joined our side in the fight, using a ring to summon a poisonous snake. Trying to take Glass-Staff out non-lethally so we could question him, King Roberto hit him with the bag of ears. Then cut off his right arm. And left leg.

Cost’s snake bit him, the poison from which quickly killed him. Samuel picked up Glass-Staff’s glass staff, and we found a strange bracelet on him, which Lordy took. Cost then attacked us too, after we ask him why he was dealing with our enemy. We defeated his summoned snake, took the snake ring and killed Cost. Then the horde (is eleven a horde?) of zombies attacked through the tent, but it turned out the bracelet could control the zombies. So that’s what we did.

Heading back to Phandolin to rest up, followed by our retinue of zombies, we crossed paths with two Paladins, Goodwin and Tuck, on horseback. Rewarding us for killing both Cost and Glass-Staff, they were however very aggressively opposed to our plan of having our zombie slaves wait outside the peaceful town while we rested at the inn. We agree to give them the bracelet to destroy, which they did, in exchange for some magic shackles and a fucking magic eyepatch, taken from the Pirate King Saltwater Perkins. King Roberto immediately put on the eyepatch, without waiting for the explanation of its powers. The eyepatch bored out his left eye,  but granted him the ability to summon a storm and use lightning powers once a day. Also +1 charisma! So henceforth his new name would be King Roberto the Pirate King.

pirate king

On our way back the sky darkened, and Venomfang circled above us, dropping Tiny’s thieves toolkit and before flying off towards Thundertree laughing. King Roberto the Pirate King started to formulate a plan to liberate (or pillage the already dead bodies of) his companions up at the deserted town, and fight the dragon with his nifty new storm powers.

Near Phandolin, we briefly headed into the woods to slaughter some cultists who had just murdered a group of villagers and were about to sacrifice a boy. Back in town, we turned the boy over to guards. The boy, impressed by King Roberto the Pirate King’s eyepatch, gave him a jar with a tarantula inside for helping him. He was unsure of what to do with it, but as tarantulas are delicious it could prove a useful snack later. For helping with the cultists, the guard set us up with free rooms at the inn. However, as soon as they enter, Elsa the barmaid can’t resist the draw of the eyepatch, wordlessly leading King Roberto the Pirate King off to the best room in the house.

Thus endeth the session. Come back next week for ‘Blackholes and Bear Traps’!

Adam

 

Check out part 6 here!

So it’s All Come Down to This… Owlbears and Dragons

Adam has started playing Dungeons and Dragons with some friends in London. Here is his account of their first epic journey.

At the start of our fourth session, we all hit Level 3 and were able to pick what sub-classes we wanted to go with. For fighters we were given the option of two martial archetypes: Champion or Eldritch Knight. Deano went with Eldritch Knight, which allowed him to pick a couple of basic spells. As there are two fighters in our group, and picking the same thing would be boring, I went with the Champion martial archetype, granting me improved critical hits – now a natural roll of 19 or 20 will score a critical hit in combat, and that improves even more in higher levels. King Roberto has been practicing his stabbing, and it has paid off!  As rogues, Bubbles chose the Assassin subclass, and Tiny chose to go with thief (because he is a thieving thief), Paladin Rick went down the Path of Devotion (which sounds like a euphemism), and Lordi and Samuel arrived late so we didn’t bother picking their subclasses until next time.

Back in the pub, after a full night of rest, we set about finding some more information about where to go next. King Roberto “questioned” a man that was very similar but not at all the same guy he threatened to stab back in the first session. Regardless, threats worked again. We got leads on nearby Thundertree where Mt. Hootenanny recent erupted and zombies killed the townsfolk, Old Owl Well, Cragmoor Castle where Glass-Staff apparently fled to (and someone wanted us to take care of him and clear the castle), and Coney Island. The problem with writing down joke names for everything is that you rarely remember the proper names later on. Nor do you care. We also spoke to a Sister Gabriel, who wanted us to head to Coney Island to look for the spellbook of Mr Bojangles. There we would find the Banshee Agatha. Banshees sound like fun, so we headed that way.

On the way we were attacked by an Owlbear (Half owl, half bear, all Owlbear). After we dispatched it, with King Roberto finishing it off by ramming a javelin through it’s throat (fast becoming his go-to move – ranged stabbing), we discovered it had been magically shacked. Animal cruelty, so mutilating it was a kindness. Sort of. Propping it up as some sort of meat puppet to ward off attackers while we slept is probably a bit more difficult to justify.

cousin it

We then wasted ages trying to sort out a problem Lordi had developed during the end of the last dungeon, which I forgot to mention. They drank a potion that granted them invisibility, but simultaneously caused all the hair on their body to grow rapidly resulting in a Cousin Itt look (that no one could actually see). Everyone took it in turns at this point (about a full in-game day after the problem arose, not really a priority) to permanently remove the hair, most of which resulted in damage to Lordi. After a lot of pissing around, a dragon suddenly appeared above us. As a mighty level 3 Champion, Roberto started to ponder the implications of attempting to stab the dragon, but thought better of it. For now. The dragon, named Venomfang, did not attack but did mock the goody-two-shoes-paladin-in-training Rick. He departed, indicating that it wasn’t the last we would see of him.

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Arriving at Coney Island, Lordi ignored the rest of the group and tried to confront the Banshee (while Tiny sneaked in to steal something), going about as well as you would expect. Failing to brashly convince Agatha to give up Mr. Bojangles’ book, Lordi was ignored by the Banshee who haughtily told us that the necromancer Seeroff had the book. Giving no more help, the Banshee left. With nothing else to do there, and no more leads, the party headed out of Coney Island and up a worn path.

We came to Old Owl Well, where we saw a large tent and a ruined tower nearby, found to be full of zombies. An aura of dark magic indicated that a necromancer was inside the tent, so Deano attempted to fake Venomfang’s voice to scare him. It failed, as Deano doesn’t actually sound like a dragon, but the necromancer did not attack anyway. We ask about Cragmoor Castle, and he agreed to tell us if we head to the nearby Wyvern Tor (not a name that filled me with anything other than dread) to murder a group of orcs with extreme prejudice, bringing back their ears as proof. Not opposed to wholesale murder for a man who desecrates and summons the dead, we headed off.

A guard outside the cave where the orcs are holed up was quickly and silently dispatched with an arrow to the face by Bubbles, very much taking to that new role of Assassin. Then we set to preparing to fight numerous orcs (and a troll apparently). As we did this Lordi, for reasons totally unknown to everyone, fluttered in some sort of weird love note to the orc leader into the cave, alerting them to our presence. Rick and Deano attempted once again to throw the rope of light between them, to cover the entrance of the cave so we could pick the orcs off. It fails, again, as Ser “Dropper” Deano fumbled the catch, again. The orcs were seconds from the entrance, troll in the lead…

… and we had to call it a night. It was a week night, and everyone had to get back across London to their various homes, very much restricted by the fact that main form of public transport in the capital of this country stops at around midnight. Big ol’ rumble as soon as we start next time!

Adam

 

Check out part 5 here!