The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 14 – Poop Revenge Damage

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

 

Constance: I sweep his legs out from under him with the staff and jump up, catching his face in both hands and driving him into the cart as he falls.

DM: Your staff burns with black light as you fight and you have a vague sense of hunger again, frustrated hunger

DM: He is out for the count

DM: Bronan, you are up

DM: One pigeon man still up, flying in circles above, squawking squawking squawking

Bronan: Bronan bleed, sir dribbles messy, eyes start to glaze, then he sees smashed pigeon man that was killed by the net, and mutter Bronan crush pigeon man, revenge for bedroll and fires a net at the flying one

DM: Superb

‪Bronan: Ballsacks, that’s a 13, too late to use inspiration?

DM: That is actually enough to hit his AC

DM: Shit

DM: Roll 5d6 please bronan

DM: As your heavy net spirals up and ensnares the aaracokras left wing and leg, he starts to fall

‪Bronan: That would be 27 poop revenge damage

DM: Wow

DM: And lands on his head

Constance: Jesus Christ!?

DM: It’s not pretty

Constance: What are those nets made of!

DM: Falling damage antz

DM: Net does no damage, but restrained + flight = really bad times

Constance: Yeah I know. I mistyped that. I meant what are those d6 made of!

DM: Ha

DM: Okay

DM: You are out of initiatibe

DM: And seriously, holy shit guys. Three net shots, three hits. Every javelin thrown hit. You guys smashed that encounter

DM: But now, three aaracokra lay unconscious on the sand, two lie dead

Constance: Let’s drag the three to the cart and restrain them there.

DM: Loot wise, five scimitars, three intact shortbows, 5 quivers with a dozen black arrow each

DM: They are dressed in black robes patched with leather

Constance: Ok. Remove the weapons and chuck them in the back of the truck.

DM: You can recover your nets and javelins etc

Faustus: Cool

‪Bronan: Yup, I do that

DM: Faustus you coming down from the cliff?

DM: What do you do with the corpses?

Constance: Digging is a no no.

‪Bronan: Put them with others I’m cart as warning?

Constance: Let’s cover them with the cover from the cart for now, we can ask the survivors what they normally do with their dead.

Faustus: Before I come down can I see if there are any other birdmen or anything in the distance?

DM: Perception Faustus

DM: So corpses are covered?

Faustus: …

DM: Does that mean you rolled a one…

Faustus: No. Nat 2o.

DM: You also find a compass and a pouch with 15 gold in it

DM: Ha

Constance: Nice. Five each?

DM: You see some birds to the east, but they look like vultures. Aside from that, nothing else

Faustus: Ok I come down

Faustus: 5 each sounds good!

‪Bronan: Thank you friend Faustus *Bronan smiles, blood from his wound turns his smile red* we sleep soon, Bronan kind of achy

‪Bronan: (I’m not really too bad, basically on the hitpoints I had at lvl 1

Constance: Let’s get some questions answered. Then we can decide what to do with these guys.

Faustus: Good job guys. Bronan would you like me to take a look at that wound?

Faustus: Was it 9 damage you took? Constance was unharmed?

DM: Those guys are all unconscious and will wake up in 1d4 hours (Constance roll a d4)

Constance: 4

DM: Yeah they will be out of it pretty much til dawn so you might as well take a long rest

Faustus: Ok. I’ll dress Bronans wound but guess I don’t need to burn a spell or anything.

Bronan: Ah thank you Faustus, ale?

Constance: Ales all round I think Bronan!

Faustus: Agreed!

Bronan: Not for pigeon men though

Constance: No ale for them.

Bronan: I give everyone ales and pour some in a dish for Sir dribbles

DM: So I think you can safely have an ale and a long rest and wake up refreshed! The morning Sun brings a degree of clarity on the battlefield. Two broken bows, some ripped cloth from robes, and a lot of blood on the sand

DM: The three living aaracokra are silent and subdued. The largest has golden feathers and the other two red feathers. They appear to be in pretty bad state

DM: The leader speaks

DM: If you are not going to kill us, would you give us water? A death of dryness is a fate unfit for a warrior

Constance: Of course. I put my water skin up to his beak.

DM: He drinks and thanks you, as do the others as you feed them

DM: So.

DM: I am thinking you are not traders

Constance: (Going out for work lunch so will be gone for a bit)

Faustus: Pause for a bit? I’m on lunch too.

DM: Aye

Constance: (Back)

Bronan: Sometimes Bronan trade, want to buy sand pie? 2 gold

DM: What is sand pie?

Bronan: It not favourite of camel, but some like it

DM: He looks confused

Bronan: I pour a bit of ale on the sand to make it damp, squidgy it into a clump and hold it towards him “sand pie, ale flavour”

DM: He shakes his head

DM: No thank you, net thrower

DM: I’ll take nothing from one who killed my kin

Constance: I would like to start by apologising for the deaths of your friends *indicates covered bodies*

‪Bronan: You not take, shop have strict policy on shoplifting, you want, you buy

DM: You have taken my gold already, so I could not buy

DM: You apologise for ambushing us and killing my brothers? Ha. Groundlings, all the same. Bizarre.

Constance: Well yes. We had no intention of bloodshed if we could avoid it.

DM: Then why did you attack?

‪Bronan: Mmm *Bronan moves nearby with his ale, squats on his heels and watches*

Constance: Why did you feel it appropriate to extort what you thought were simple traders?

DM: All who pass through our sacred land must pay the tax

DM: Traders draw bandits and wild beasts. This harms the Blessed Wind.

DM: They defile our ancestral land with their waste, and do not show respect for the gods

DM: Previously we would have just summoned a hungry wyrm, but the elders think this path is better. Now I see my kin dead in sand, and I am not so sure

DM: What gives you the right to cross our sacred land!?

Constance: Perhaps nothing. But what gives you the right to kill those who would?

Bronan: (from a where he crouched) land big, big enough for all, no need to attack all in land, make peace, live together

DM: It is our land, and has been for as long as any can tell. We threatened no violence. We offered peace and protection and safe passage for a fee.

DM: We must protect our land. Your mayor Sskross would mine our hills and cut our secret groves and dig deep wells. Well. No. We will not allow it

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor? Scarf-mayor bad man

Constance: Ah. Well. Now we come to the meat of it.

Constance: It seems that we both share a dislike for an individual

Faustus: We’ve seen what happens when people do not pay your tax.

DM: Oh, you dislike yourself?

DM: Have you indeed?

DM: And what would that be

DM: What is it you think you have seen, dragonborn?

Faustus: The violence you insist you don’t threaten. Aarakokora.

DM: Ha. I ask for example. And we threaten no violence, but we will defend our lands from…bad influences

Faustus: East of here. Perhaps a days travel. Less on your wings.

Faustus: (I don’t know if that distance is right)

DM: So the mayor sent you to kill our warriors? You will never take our lands

DM: The caravan? That girl is safe now. We will tolerate no slavery on our lands

DM: Our lands, our laws

Constance: Wait a moment.

Constance: A girl you say?

DM: We rescued her from those men. Caged like a beast for the hundreds of leagues from the west sea

Constance: The mayor did not send us friend.

Faustus: (Womp womp)

DM: Young Krall saw her when he was scouting.

DM: He nods at one of the corpses

Constance: And the killing of your friends was not purposeful. I could have killed you and both your friends but did not.

DM: I do not understand

DM: Why are you here if not from the mayor?

‪Bronan: Hey, birdman

‪Bronan: Bronan have question for you

‪Bronan: Why your people shit in Bronans bedroll for 2 years when Bronan child? What did child Bronan to to you?

‪Bronan: You threaten constance friend, so Bronan throw net, you fire bow at constance friend and still Bronan only throw net, you stab Bronan and STILL Bronan not crush

DM: Shit on your bedroll? Where did this happen, barbarian?

DM: Your memory if that fight and mine differ

‪Bronan: (Bronan is getting angry, sir dribbles snorts) Bronan not here for mayor, Bronan here for friend, here for person in cage, Bronan not here for insults

DM: You are here for the girl in the cage? She is under our protection, and we will not let you take her if it is not her wish

Bronan: Bronan want to crush mayor. Birdmen hide girl from Bronan, try to hurt girl, keep her from people

‪Bronan: (his ale cup on the floor now, ale slowly soaking the sand, Bronans shouting now)

DM: We keep the girl at her request. She does not wish to be a pawn in the mayor’s plans, or anyone elses!

DM: Her power is her own to use, not yours or ours to control

Constance: Calm Bronan.

‪Bronan: Bronan whirls around, sees constance, visibly sighs, “sorry friend constance, Bronan not know what happen, Bronan make breakfast now”

Constance: We have no wish to make anyone a pawn. We simply seek to understand what it is that the mayor is trying to do

DM: The leader sizes you up

DM: The west sea and the red desert is the last path to your kingdoms from the wildlands beyond that is unguarded. It’s guard is the desert. Smugglers use it to bring in…whatever people pay for

DM: The mayor seeks power. He wants our hills for their rock. He wants them so he can control the red plains, and thus the smugglers, and thus the trade and the desert. He has wiped out Bedouin trader camps and desert tribes that stand in his way. He will stop at nothing to destroy us

DM: This girl was to be his weapon

Constance: Who is she?

DM: A tiefling. A devil-born girl from the coast. She is prodigal in her command of magic, her power uncrontrollable. If he could bend such a sorceress to his will he would be…unstoppable

Constance: And your intentions with such a powerful individual?

DM: Keep her safe

DM: We need not her powers, we have our own ways to keep our people safe

Faustus: And… what would this mayor, if domination is his goal, do with a powerful spell gem?

DM: Hm. Well. That would depend on the spell. But nothing good

DM: So you do not work for the mayor?

DM: Who sent you to fight us?

‪Bronan: (Bronan is humming, frying some eggs and bacon with some bread in a pan, and is going to try to chill some ale in another cook pot)

DM: Ha

Bronan: (yes, the eggs were deliberate on my part, but Bronan is oblivious)

Faustus: We came across the site where you ambushed the men transporting the child. We wanted to get to the bottom of the attack, to ensure it did not happen to us.

DM: Well. Take no slaves, and leave our lands (or pay the toll) and the blessed wind have no issue with you

DM: The deaths of our brothers will be mourned, but this seems to be a misunderstanding

DM: Also can you roll deception faustus?

Faustus: There are… others, who do not bear good intentions towards you.

DM: Oh never mind

DM: I see

Faustus: (Erm not right now, I’m in the gym right now.)

DM: Who are these others? Our  enemies seem to grow by the day

Constance: Before we converse further, perhaps introductions. I am Constance. *constance holds our her hand as though to shake hands and then retracts it when she realises that his are tied*

DM: Hahaha

Faustus: Of course. My name is Faustus.

DM: And the barbarian mentioned his name, I believe. Bronan?

‪Bronan: Bronan walks over, oven gloves on holding hot plates of food for constance and Faustus. “yes, Bronan, Bronan sorry for outburst, blood sugar low”

‪Bronan: Birdmen want food? What birdmen eat?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 15 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 13 – Wait, Wait, What?!

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: The biggest speaks in a guttural avian squawk

DM: “lonesome traveller, you are in our lands. The blessed wind requires payment”

Constance: From beneath my hood I mutter something quiet

DM: And…

DM: That’s where we leave it for now! I’m about to run a d&d session in the real world

Constance: Wait to see what they do

Constance: AHHHHHHH. Curse you.

Constance: Faustus. Kill all his bad guys. Kill them to fuck.

 

DM: The toll is simple. Half your goods, and you may continue across the red plain with our protection. We will even protect your freight from beasts and bandits.

DM: But none cross the land of the Blessed Wind without paying the toll

Faustus: (You have to pay the troll toll if you want to get this boy’s soul)

DM: (i think the rape scene could be classier)

DM: Each of the aaracokra carries a sabre, a quiver, and a short horn bow. The front one is markedly larger and tougher looking, his feathers bronze in the firelight

Bronan: (goddamnit Charlie, have you been drinking paint again?)

‪Bronan: Bronan hears this and readies himself

Faustus: Faustus can see all this from his vantage point?

DM: Faustus you are 30ft up so roll perception to see if you hear this?

DM: Can see, yes, but see if he can hear over the light desert breeze

Faustus: Hmm 11

DM: A few words. Demand of payment, but this far no threat

‪Bronan: (already have my warcry sorted, just waiting for it to kick off)

Constance: (Sorry was sleeping)

Constance: Ok. Where are these guys in relation to me/the cart/the cliff

‪Bronan: I’m guessing cart against the cliff, then constance then campfire, they landed other side of campfire? Was that what we had planned?

Constance: Yeah that’s what I thought.

DM: Yup

Constance: I mutter under my breath again, loud enough for them to hear, but not enough so they make out what I’m saying.

DM: They step forward. They are now about 10 ft from you

DM: Speak freely, trader. We mean you no harm. But these are our sacred lands, and none may pass without tribute

Constance: I throw back my hood and look him in the eye and say “I said….” Then shout “YOU DONE FUCKED UP!”

Constance: Then run towards him and smash him with my staff

DM: Hahaha

DM: Okay. Initiative wise, Constance you are first. Roll your attacks. Then Bronan and Faustus (whoever rolls first), then the aarakokra

DM: Aaaaand I’m going to give you a surprise round, as they had no idea this was coming

Constance: Ok. I’ll roll initiative first.

Constance: 11 + 3

Constance: Also, do I get to know the initiative order or what? It might effect my actions.

DM: Like I just said, you start, then bronan/faustus (whoever acts first), then aaracokra. But you also have a surprise round

DM: So you are up, then your guys, then you again, then your buds again, then aaracokra

Constance: Ok. So I’m going to attack and use flurry of blows on my first action which spends one of my ki points

Constance: Smash him with the staff with two hands then try and do a boss spinning double kick.

Constance: 15 + 3 to hit with staff

DM: Staff hits, roll damage and roll flurry of blows attacks

Constance: 5 + 5 with first kick and 11 + 5 to hit with second.

DM: Okay, one of your licks doesn’t land the second one does

DM: *kicks

DM: He stumbles back saying. Wait, wait, what?! As you smash into him

Constance: Ok. Damage with staff is 1d8 + 4. So 2 + 4

Constance: And kick is 1d4 + 4. So 1 + 4

Constance: A total of 11 damage.

Constance: Does the staff do anything?

DM: The end of it is congealed with thick black light. You do a lot of damage to him, he falls to one knee

DM: Bronan/faustus, one of you is next!

‪Bronan: Bronan rips the tarp off him, revealing the net thrower and Sir dribbles standing on a safe part of it, he is wearing flight goggles and a flying cap, “pigeon men want toll? All we brought was PAIN” I aim at the one of the birdmen with the loaded net thrower and let loose

‪Bronan: Guessing I am not proficient (barbarians are proficient in simple and martial weapons) I got a 17+2 on ranged attack, 19

DM: Superb, one of the birdmen is entangled in a thick net and squawks in terror!

DM: Faustus?

Faustus: Are the birds all on the ground?

DM: Yes, your attacks is happening very swiftly- within seconds bronan has netted one and Constance beat the leader down to its knees. Three more stand behind them trying to figure out what to do

Faustus: I’m going to throw down a javelin at one of them, the undamaged or captured ones, aiming for a wing. They still don’t know I’m there right?

Faustus: 19 to hit

Faustus: 8 piercing damage

Faustus: I’d then like to use my movement to cautious and quietly move position so they can’t immediately figure out where I am. And also possibly try and make it seem like there are more of us up here on our next go

DM: Stealth roll please

DM: Your javelin smashes into one of the aracokra at the back

DM: He is utterly surprised

DM: They are all yelling at each other in some avian tongue

DM: Constance, your action

Faustus: 16 on stealth

DM: Nice

DM: You edge around the cliff to a new vantage point

Constance: Is the leader still alive?

DM: Yes, very badly wounded on one knee in front of you

Constance: I’m going to smash him again with the staff and use unarmed strike as a bonus action. I’m trying to do non-lethal damage FYI.

DM: Okay

Constance: 12 + 3 to hit with staff

Constance: And 8 + 5 with unarmed strike

DM: That hits, damage?

Constance: 4 + 4. 8 damage with staff

DM: He I knocked unconscious, sprawled on the sand

DM: Can your unarmed attack be against a different target?

Constance: Yup.

Constance: It’s just a bonus action.

DM: So with your ankh staff you knock out the leader (it’s end. Throbs with black light and you feel…hunger)

DM: You turn, there are four others- one in a net, one with a javelin wound, and two more

DM: Which one do you hit with unarmed strike and what’s the damage?

Constance: The one with the javelin wound.

DM: Sure, you already rolled attack. Roll damage

Constance: 3 + 4

DM: Lethal or non lethal?

Constance: Non.

Constance: I’m trying to keep as many alive as possible.

DM: (also your sheet says +4 but you have +3 Dex how does that work? Just curious)

Constance: (I was just looking at that. See me in private chat)

DM: Constance nimbly uppercuts the aaracokra reeling from the javelin strike and knocks it out

DM: Bronan. Three aaracokra standing, one of whom is netted!

Bronan: Bronan net another pigeon man

DM: Ha

‪Bronan: Rolled. 17

DM: Goddam

DM: Okay, second pigeon man is netted

DM: Only one is free standing

DM: Faustus?

Faustus: Aiming at that guy, 22 to hit.

DM: Javelin at the free standing one? that hits

DM: You have advantage (in case you crit?)

Faustus: Yep. 6 piercing damage.

Faustus: Ok one sec

Faustus: Nope.

DM: Okay

DM: It’s now the birdmen

Faustus: 6 piercing.

Faustus: And I’m going to move again.

DM: Unless you are moving?

DM: Trying to stealth somewhere else?

Faustus: 19 on stealth

DM: Grand, easy stuff. It is frantic down there, you slide to a new position

DM: 3 aaracokra, 2 in nets. The two netted use their actions to try and remove the nets

DM: The first easily rips the net aside, but the second is tangled

DM: The now netless aaracokra flies 50ft up and shoots his shortbow at Constance

DM: 16 to hit?

Faustus: I thought he used his action to escape?

Constance: Yeah that hits

DM: Ah shit

DM: Yeah sorry

DM: The already free aaracokra flies up 50 ft as well and takes a shot at Constance

DM: Will reroll

DM: And he misses

DM: So. Two aaracokra are in the air 50ft above the caravan, 20ft above hidden faustus. One struggles with a net on the ground by his two unconscious compatriots

DM: Constance your move

Constance: I’m going to run over to the one who is trapped and try to knock him the fuck out with a staff and kick him in the head.

DM: Hahaha

DM: He is restrained, so you have advantage

Constance: 16 + 4 to hit

DM: That hits

Constance: 2 + 4 damage.

DM: As your staff cracks into him the ankh again is covered in strange black light, almost pulsing with energy

DM: Unarmed attack?

Constance: 11 to hit

DM: Misses

DM: He writhes away and manages to deflect your kick

DM: Bronan

Constance: Then I run to take cover behind the cart.

DM: Okay, because the two guys are flying above you the only way to get cover from them would be under the cart really

Constance: I was more thinking I could help Bronan/grab that javelin

DM: Okay sure, but that means no cover AC bonus

Constance: Fine.

DM: The birdmen are all yelling at each other in a language you don’t know

‪Bronan: Grab javelins and hide behind bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan fire net at pigeon man in air with bow

DM: Awesome, roll for it!

‪Bronan: 17 total again

DM: Add Dex but not proficiency

DM: Ah shit

DM: Okay

DM: Aaracokra gets slammed into by a heavy net

DM: And falls 50ft

DM: Roll 5d6 for me bronan

Bronan: 24

‪Bronan: (I did tell them we’d bring the pain)

DM: That aaracokra plummets like a stone and there is a sickening crack as it lands by the side of the cart, clearly dead

DM: Faustus

DM: One flying aaracokra, one netted down below

Faustus: I’m going to throw a javelin at the flying one.

DM: Awesoke

DM: Awesome, even.

Faustus: 20. Not nat.

DM: Oof

Faustus: 9 piercing damage.

DM: Yikes

DM: You spear him in the gut and he falls a few feet before righting himself

Faustus: And since I clearly just gave away my position I ready myself for action, shield out in my other hand.

DM: The aaracokra screams with rage as it surveys the situation

DM: The one on the ground struggles with the net

DM: He breaks free and flies up to 50ft

DM: The one that was already airborne recognises that the greatest danger is the net thrower, and so flies at Bronan in a dive attack!

DM: 23 to hit!

DM: And since it is moving more than 30ft, it has a lot of momentum and does an extra d6 damage

‪Bronan: Well shit my britches

‪Bronan: What’s the damage?

DM: 9 slashing damage! And it is now on the cart next to bronan and Constance. It leans forward and weaves its bloody scimitar in the air

Bronan: I guess some of my blood lands on sir dribbles

DM: Eek.

DM: Constance you are up

DM: High above an aaracokra circles, and right in front of you one readies itself to bring your end

Constance: I’m going to spend a ki point and flurry of blows the fuck out of him after nailing him with the staff.

DM: Alright, non lethal?

Constance: I’ll roll attacks then damage. It goes staff punch punch. Non lethal

DM: Sure

Constance: 11 + 5.

Constance: 7 + 5

Constance: NAT. FUCKING. TWENTY.

DM: Jeeze

DM: Okay, I mean I think even on minimum damage he is knocked out as he’d already taken a heavy javelin hit from faustus, feel free to describe how

Constance: I sweep his legs out from under him with the staff and jump up, catching his face in both hands and driving him into the cart as he falls.

DM: Your staff burns with black light as you fight and you have a vague sense of hunger again, frustrated hunger

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 14 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 12 – …Rat or Weasel?

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

Constance: Goddamn it.

Constance: Stupid scorpions.

DM: You can see a crack in the left wall that is presumably their lair, about 10ft up

‪Bronan: Shit, smokebomb! Let’s gas these fuckers

‪Bronan: Bronan think smoke make clackclacks woozy, we use?

‪Bronan: (I know Bronan has used the word scorpion before, but these are huge!)

DM: They are about 2ft

Constance: Yeah fuck it. I slowly pull out one of the smoke bomb things we brought and throw it into the middle of them.

Constance: Lighting it first of course

‪Bronan: I try to help by using animal handling to clack (tapping my hand axes together) in a intimidating way

‪Bronan: Or intimidate, whichever

Faustus: As the others rush through the scorpions I continue to move along the ridge, trying to stay hidden from them and anyone who may be watching

Constance: Yeah I’m going to wait for full smoke release and see what the scorpions do and rush straight ahead through the smoke

‪Bronan: I’m under the tarpaulin clacking axes together

DM: Okay

‪Bronan: (ah to be a spell nerd and have AoE spells)

DM: Constance do a ranged attack for me

DM: Bronan roll intimidation

DM: Faustus stealth with advantage

Faustus: 16

‪Bronan: 18

Constance: 10 + 3 (assuming I’m not proficient with smoke bombs)

DM: Faustus creeps low to the edge of the ridge, and now has a perfect view of the scorpions, who look like they are about to leap forward

DM: Suddenly, Constance hurls forward a lot clay pot that shatters in the middle of the path

DM: Plumes of thick smoke billow out, filling a 20ft cube with a thick noxious black smoke

DM: Meanwhile, the scorpions cower back, as the sound of a giant metal scorpion clacks out from under cover!

DM: It’s now the scorpions turn

DM: The three on the left hand side retreat into their crack in the wall

DM: The three on the right, with thick smoke between them and safety, leap forward at Constance and the camels, one attacking each

DM: Constance what’s your AC?

DM: 9, 5, and 12 on camels and Constance respectively

‪Bronan: (here’s hoping the camels multiclassed into barbarian to get unarmoured defence)

Constance: 15

DM: Constance and one of the camels dart back, but one gets stung

‪Bronan: Ok, did I see Constance get attacked?

DM: You did

DM: The camel that gets stung

‪Bronan: Shit, ok

DM: Foams at the mouth

DM: Fails it’s constitution save

DM: And collapses, foaming and twitching

‪Bronan: Nooooooo!!!! Mrs Camel!!!

Faustus: Oh piss that quickly? I was totally going to cure its poison later!

DM: The second camel instantly reaches down and bites that scorpion in half, throwing its remains against the cliff wall

DM: Now it is you guys. What order was it? Constance, Bronan, Faustus I think

DM: (let me know if wrong)

Constance: Nah that’s right

DM: Two scorpions left, one stabbing at Constance’s legs, the other rearing back from the raging camel

Constance: Ok so two remaining scorpions in front of me?

DM: Yeah

Constance: The one right in front of me I’m going to bring the staff (which I’ve been using as a walking stick) down on top of with two hands

DM: This is your Ankh quatterstaff?

Constance: Yup.

DM: Roll for attack!

Constance: Sigh. 9

Constance: Assuming its strength you add. Which I think it is.

Faustus: Might be ok! The camel only has an ac of 9.

DM: Think for monk it’s strength or dex

Constance: Not as far as I can tell

Constance: Unless it’s a finesse weapon

Constance: Anyway 9.

DM: Okay sure

DM: Constance you bring down your two handed quarterstaff with a mighty swing

DM: But the scorpion darts out of reach

DM: Bronan? Two scorpions are attacking your little friend and your spitting friend

DM: And they killed Mrs Camel! She owed you many hundred of gold for sand pies!

‪Bronan: (I know this fuck up the plan a bit, but protecting you guys is Bronans thing. And you being in peril is his rage trigger) Bronan takes in the scene, his eyes glaze over, the hand axes fall to the bed of the wagon, he draws the beers and leaps into the fray, swinging the beers at the scorpion who attacked constance last round

‪Bronan: (he’s raging)

‪Bronan: 17 to hit

Faustus: (It only fucks up the plan if we get seen, and tbh I wasn’t exactly planning on just skipping my go!)

DM: Yeah that hits!

‪Bronan: That’s a 14 slashing

DM: (also Constance for future monks can use dex for monk and simple weapons instead of strength, under martial arts)

DM: Oh wow, yeah, it is bifurcated

DM: Scorpion Gore spills across the sand and thick red grass

Constance: Damnit that would have hit most likely!

DM: Well, should have listened to all powerful and wise DM then, silly

DM: Faustus? One scorpion standing, dancing around the last camel

DM: Smoke still pouring from that shattered pot

Faustus: So before I attack, can I take a quick look around me and in the sky to see if I can spy any onlookers?

DM: Yeah, perception

Faustus: 17

DM: Hmm

DM: You don’t see anything, but you are very aware that the smoke is now starting to send black wisps into the sky

Faustus: Ok so get this done. I’m going to throw a javelin down at the scorpion.

DM: Awesome, attack rooooolll! With advantage as they have no idea you are there

Faustus: Non – natural 20 to hit

Faustus: Or…

Faustus: Nope. Not higher than that.

Faustus: And 9 piercing damage.

DM: Just as the scorpion leaps forward at the camels exposed flank, your javelin smashes through it, pinning it into the hot sand. It flexes and curls its tail, and cracks its claws at you and spasms. Gore coats your javelin and the sand as it falls still

Faustus: That them all? Is the camel definitely dead?

DM: That is the three who stayed outside. Three more are on that crack in the wall, you don’t know how deep it goes (and it’s obscured by smoke)

DM: Camel is utterly dead

DM: It is bleeding from its mouth and eyes and ears as well

Faustus: Ok, so I will not be clambering down to try and save it then!

DM: Wait.

DM: It twitches!

DM: The camel sits up, and is violently sick

DM: And then sits up slightly and shakes its head

DM: It’s not dead. Just a bit of a bad reaction to the poison

Faustus: Guys does it look like it’s still dying from the poison or is it over it?

‪Bronan: (glad I didn’t get typing happy, I was gonna ram its head into the scorpion hole)

‪Bronan: I guess I rehitch it to the cart, climb back inside and make the cart continue

‪Bronan: But before we go, I take the scorpion corpses for later

DM: Okay

Constance: Good shout. Let’s skedaddle

DM: You are moving on? North into the hills, west into desert, north west skirting borders of hills?

Constance: North west. And I grab the javelin out of the ground throwing it in the back of the cart

Faustus: Cool.

‪Bronan: Ow…

DM: Okay, you head north west the sun is sinking. behind you, the smoke continues to pour into the sky

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: No worry constance, Bronan fine

DM: Dex save from Mr dribbles?

DM: No

DM: Nevermind

Constance: I placed it. Not threw!

DM: It is almost nightfall. Are you making camp?

Constance: Yeah. Somewhere with a cliff to back against.

DM: Cool. That is easily found

DM: Caravan, camels, contance, and bronan on the red grass looking over the endless sand? And 30ft above, secreted in shadows, faustus?

DM: If you want a fire roll survival. Faustus, roll stealth

Constance: 3 + 2(con?)

‪Bronan: Survival is wisdom

DM: You can’t find any wood Constance

DM: Either way

Constance: Well still + 2.

Constance: Cold camp it is

‪Bronan: Bronan try, sure constance did good job, but maybe Bronan find fuel

DM: Hahaha

DM: Bronan roll survival

‪Bronan: (if that’s OK?)

DM: Yeah sure thing

DM: Constance returns to camp saying there is no wood to be found and it is a cold camp tonight

‪Bronan: Unnatural 20

Constance: Damnit

DM: Bronan nods and goes out and comes back with a sizable pile of wood within a minute or two

‪Bronan: Don’t feel bad Bronan brought this wood with us

DM: You have enough wood to have a fire all night

‪Bronan: That’s a 17 on deception to make constance feel less bad

DM: How are you doing this tonight? Faustus, are you staying up all night, or sleeping hidden up there? Are you guys doing shifts?

Constance: I think I’m going to try to stay awake all night.

Faustus: 19 on stealth

Constance: Knowing that we are likely to have something happen.

Constance: Shit. You’re a fucking ninja.

Faustus: Going to stay up on watch.

DM: Nice

‪Bronan: Bronan play with Sir dribbles, it like camp out

DM: Bronan in the wagon or out?

‪Bronan: We spend the evening telling each other horror stories in the wagon under the tarpaulin, sir dribbles seems to be doing a good job telling a scary story

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: Bronan’s are all kibble shortage related

‪Bronan: Bronan is whispering

DM: Very good

DM: Constance

DM: Sat by the fire?

Constance: Yup.

DM: Bronan, you ance inspiration

DM: *have

DM: Because you made me giggle like a child on a bus

DM: Right.

DM: Night falls over the red plains

DM: Perception rolls

DM: Advantage to faustus, disadvantage to bronan

Faustus: 14

‪Bronan: Ah the pain of disadvantage, I got a 15, but the other roll was a natty 20

DM: Still pretty solid!

‪Bronan: Yeah but it could’ve been 23, setting the stage for Bronan to have xray vision

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles is mainly a prop, but is there a set of stats I should be using for him?

DM: …rat or weasel? Or dog if they exist. Wouldn’t worry, wasn’t going to kill him unless it’s a clear TPK

DM: If you’d rather stat him and play him I’m happy with that, but that will open him up to the world of damage!

Constance: What do you add on perception.

Constance: Fuck I need to screenshot the list or some shit

‪Bronan: Wis

Constance: 11 + 2 then

Constance: Cheers dude

Bronan: I’ll keep him as a plot thing, it’s more funny and hard to acquire pugs in a desert for Sir dribbles the second of his name

‪Bronan: Also, I’m guessing the temp hitpoints from the holy water have worn off by now

DM: You all see a formation descend from above, five sets of wings descending, blocking our patches of stars, they spiral down and land in the sand in front of Constance without a sound

DM: Yeah bronan

DM: The biggest speaks in a guttural avian squawk

DM: Lonesome traveller, you are in our lands. The Blessed Wind requires payment…

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 13 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 11 – Not Eat Carrot, Night Eyes Bad

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: Summoning sandworms?

DM: Nature check

‪Bronan: 16

DM: I mean…they came when you were digging, not before? So they are probably drawn by disturbances below the surface

DM: So in theory it could be done. As to riding them, hell…

‪Bronan: At some point, Bronan is probably going to die attempting that, for now, any thoughts on our plans Constance or Faustus?

Constance: I like the bolas thrower. A covered cart with one of us in it prepared to fire nets is good. One of us hidden elsewhere on a ridge or something is good. And one of us leading the cart.

Constance: I’m happy to lead the cart. Put these poison darts to good use. Do we have any idea how many might be in a raiding party?

Faustus: Yeah I’m game for all of this.

Constance: What magicky goodness do you have now?

Constance: Basically we want to hit them hard and fast and keep them grounded if possible.

Constance: Crossbows might be good

Faustus: I’ve just gone for a curing spell to be safe!

Constance: That’s a good shout. Stick you out of sight on a ridge?

Faustus: Can do. I’m all in for a rumble once they are grounded though.

Constance: Yup. Keep as many alive as we can?

Faustus: I think so

‪Bronan: Sounds like a plan!

Constance: Are smoke bombs a thing we could purchase?

DM: Smoke bombs aren’t really a thing, but you could probably get some pots of thick oil and molotov them and it would make a small fire/big smoke screen

DM: So you want a covered cart and horses (or camels?) to draw it, a net catapult, and a pile of nets and javelins?

DM: If this is your plan I’m assuming this is you now talking to Toma and Faizal

Bronan: Yup, make it camels, they’re slower but won’t die on us as easy!

Constance: Camels are actually faster than horses

Constance: Oil and fire yea. That works.

DM: Okay

DM: So. Toma asks where you are staying and says he will have a cart, camels, javelins, nets, a net thrower, and some smoke pots delivered by morning

DM: He also indicates that Melbos is putting a lot of trust and several hundred gold worth of equipment in your hands

DM: And that should that trust be broken melbos would be most disappointed. But of course Melbos is certain that won’t happen

Constance: And what does he expect in return?

Constance: Exactly?

DM: The eradication of the bandit gang blessed wind. Kill their leader and scatter them, kill them all, or do whatever you choose.

Constance: Super.

DM: If you could recover the mayor’s cargo and deliver it to Melbos then that would be a boon, but perhaps it has already traded hands

DM: Anything else gentlemen? There will of course be water and food

Constance: I can’t think of anything, but you know what it’s like packing! You always feel like you’ve forgotten something!

Faustus: I think I’m good for anything else.

‪Bronan: Yup sounds good!

DM: Okay

DM: Anything else you three want to do before setting off?

DM: Okay. So

DM: You each have a quiver with 6 javelins, and you each have two nets

DM: There is also a very basic net launcher mounted on the covered wagon, with 10 nets coiled and ready to be shot. Loading it is a bonus action, firing an action. It has the same effect as a net but a range of 100ft!

DM: Also two camels, a bunch of water and food, and Toma also put in some plain brown hooded light robes in the style of the local traders

DM: And three pots of thick black tarry stuff with rag fuses (smokebombs….?)

DM: So, you are free to set off whenever you like

Constance: Where are we thinking of heading? Somewhere near the original site?

Constance: Somewhere with a cliff would be good.

Bronan: There are mountains to the north of the ambush site, so north from there?

Constance: Could be a shout. Find a place where Faustus can get hidden up high, reduces the efficacy of them flying out of range.

Faustus: Sounds good

DM: Okay!

DM: It takes you about four days to reach Rib Gulch

DM: Bronan, roll me a d6?

‪Bronan: Ooooh exciting

‪Bronan: I got a 2

‪Bronan: So I only get eaten by two sandworms?

DM: Okay. Going is slow, and at night on watch you hear some creatures sniffling at the edge of your vision, but nothing bothers you until you reach the gulch

DM: It iss another day to the tower, and a few hours to the previous caravan that got eaten

DM: If you are just carrying straight on?

Bronan: (I love it when I get to roll random dice, simultaneous sense of dread and fun)

‪Bronan: I point it out to companions

‪Bronan: Hey Bros, things snuffling in dark

‪Bronan: Last time dogmen attack, we go find and kill? Or keep going

‪Bronan: Bronan trying to pretend to be trader, trader not fight?

Constance: Trader not fight Bronan

‪Bronan: During the journey, I’ll be pretending to be a trader, much in the way children play shop, but with Sir dribbles, the camels and occasionally Faustus and Constance, though not too much with them as I don’t want them to get annoyed or ruin their day by being the kid that makes them play a game they don’t want to

Faustus: Haha

Bronan: “that right Mrs camel, two gold for sand pie. Yes much weather we have had, thank you have good day”

DM: So yes, after you pass rib gulch and into the red plains, how are you proceeding? How are you acting/dressed etc?

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: I roll 8 on animal handling for the camels selling

Constance: Hahahaha.

DM: He gives you no gold

‪Bronan: And an 8 on deception for pretending to be a trader

DM: Oh good

Constance: I guess once we start getting into “dangerous” territory I’ll lead he cart alone, stick Bronan on the back under the cover with a loaded net gun

Constance: Faustus can head off to one side within viewing distance and try to remain unseen?

Bronan: You guys can probably tell he’s not convincing

DM: In which case deception rolls from Constance and stealth from faustus

DM: How far out is faustus?

Faustus: Have we determined a good spot for me to spy from?

Constance: 3 + 1 😡

‪Bronan: Should we give Faustus more javelins?

Faustus: That’ll be an 18 total for stealth l

‪Bronan: I give him the 6 Melbos gave me, I have three anyway and I’m just going to be trying to net people

‪Bronan: Before he disappears like a ninja

Faustus: So I’m going to be up on a ledge if we can find one, staying hidden until they attack and then I’m going to be throwing down javelins at some birdmen?

Constance: Pretty much.

Faustus: Grand.

Faustus: I’m off then. My cloak pulled over my armour and shield.

Faustus: Can we see anything in the sky as we move?

DM: Right

DM: After a day you reach Ptonos’s tomb

DM: Across the red grass

DM: Night is falling. Where are you setting up the wagon? By the tomb, away in the dunes and plains?

DM: (the grass is like marram grass at the beach, it’s still sand underneath)

Faustus: I’d guess not suspiciously close to either the tomb or the previous attack site?

DM: So…about midway between?

Bronan: Hmm, we’ll need to build a good fire in case of night attack, I have no darkvision!

Faustus: Haha neither do I!

Bronan: Bronan not eat carrot, night eyes bad

DM: Survival roll to see how much fuel you can find?

Bronan: Cool

‪Bronan: That’s an unnatural 20

‪Bronan: 17+3

DM: Yeah you find enough for a reasonable fire to burn all night

DM: Constance roll a d6

Constance: 2

DM: Okay

DM: Nothing happens overnight. What are you doing?

Bronan: Slightly muffled “Bronan can come out now?”

Constance: Heading to somewhere in between the tomb and the site of the original attack trying to find an easily defensible position.

Constance: “Shhhhhh”

‪Bronan: Silence from the wagon… Then a slurping noise and the silence again

DM: I thought you were planning on north of the original attack to those small hills so faustus can hit up a high point? It’s all very small rolling dunes around here

Bronan: Yeah let’s do that

‪Bronan: I guess?

‪Bronan: I mean I’m fine either way, the basics are that Faustus is away so he can flank

Constance: Oh yeah. That.

Constance: Ok, let’s head north, skirting around the original site towards those mountains.

DM: Okay, Faustus, a d6 please!

Faustus: 1

DM: Okay!

DM: You skirt around the original site and soon find yourself in the Rocky hills known as the Wyrms Teeth on the map you have

DM: Here it is possible for Faustus to flank about 50ft out and also have elevation along ridges about 30 ft higher than the paths

DM: Is the plan to continue ambling along until dusk and then camp up?

DM: Bronan, roll a d6

Constance: Yup. Pretty much.

Bronan: I also got a 1, hopefully that 1 trend won’t continue in combat!

DM: All roll perception for me? Faustus, advantage due to your favourable position

Faustus: 18

Constance: 19 + whatever

Constance: Int?

DM: Bronan, disadvantage as you are under cover

Constance: (I have no idea why I struggle to remember this so much.)

DM: Constance, 19 is fine regardless

Bronan: You guys aren’t going to believe this, so I screen grabbed

‪Bronan: Got an unnatural 20 on disadvantage, exact same roll!

Constance: Hahaha. You think we have that little trust in you?

DM: Wow

DM: So

Bronan: I wouldn’t believe it, that kinda shit is a sure sign of fuckery

DM: Let me walk you through thus

Faustus: We’re all perceptive as shit

DM: The wagon is rolling between Rocky outcrpps, it’s around evening, the sun is burning to the west

DM: Red grass under the wagon, but the rocks above are bare

DM: Bronan is sat bored in the back, Constance leads the camels, and faustus is darting between rock outcrops, one eye always on the sky

DM: And almost all at once you realise the bird song has stopped, and get the send of being watched

DM: Bronan peeps from under canvas

DM: And all of you notice that the rock walls of this path are covered in scorpions!

DM: Each scorpion is the size of your arm, and there are a dozen at least

DM: For this game, initiative Is based on first replies, then enemies. After first round we will stick with that

Constance: Shit

Constance: Uh, can we turn around?

DM: It’s very narrow, you have to three point turn it, bringing the camels very close to scorpions

DM: The path ahead is clear but takes you past the scorpions, who are now bristling and clacking their claws

Bronan: Fuckballs, they are on the walls right? Or the floor?

DM: On the walls

DM: 6 on each side

DM: Faustus is 30ft up top of a sheer rock wall

DM: A scorpion 5ft, 15ft, and 20ft up each wall

Constance: How many camels we got?

Bronan: Shit, “make camel run, Bronan swipe with axe, if clackclacks follow, Bronan have plan”

DM: 2 camels

Constance: “Shhhh Bronan. If we do that then we give ourselves away”

DM: You want to make them dash? Controlling camel movement is a bonus action and they can move once per round

Bronan: At the moment, Bronan is holding his action until constance or Faustus tells him what to do

Constance: Goddamn it.

Constance: Stupid scorpions.

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 12 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 10 – Is a Bad Dude Clearly

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

Bronan: Hmm not wise to poke bear, but less wise to sleep in cave without checking for bear

‪Bronan: That how Bronan lost cousin

‪Bronan: Bronan not want to sleep in cave with bear he not know

DM: Well. The mayor is mysterious. Even Melbos knows not the full extent of his machinations

DM: But for now, the mayor is harmless. He lets us be

‪Bronan: Hmm ok, Bronan get odd letter from smallboy, maybe Bronan spend too much time away from tribe, but Bronan hear bear growl and want out of cave

‪Bronan: Constance and Faustus may want to speak again to Toma when we pick up map and supplies, they full from breakfast now

Constance: Melbos. You seem to be at least aware of the mayors “illicit” activities. In fact you seem to be the most informed individual in town. So that leads me to two questions. 1. What’s the mayors name? 2. How is he connected to The House of Endless Sun?

Constance: And also, how did you come to know so much?

DM: It is my role to know

DM: The Mayor, any water trader could tell you his name. Mayor Skross. As to his ties with the house of the endless Sun…I must answer a question with a question.

DM: Where did you hear of the house of Endless Sun? This is very important

DM: (he leans forward and seems agitated)

Constance: I look to Faustus (as it was him who nat 20d his history check)

Bronan: (on a side note, have we spoken with the water trader?)

Constance: (No I don’t think we have)

Constance: (I think brackets is the way to indicate out of character)

‪Bronan: (good plan, we should probably speak to the water trader at some point, in a desert, water is life and other such quotes from dune)

Constance: (Everyone always references that and I’m not entirely sure what it is. Film? Book? Game?)

‪Bronan: (all three, started as books, bad film with sting, a couple of games, puzzler, rts,  TV miniseries which was good and now his son is writing books in the world again)

‪Bronan: (I can hook you up with the books, film and mini series, the games probably won’t run on new windows operating systems)

Constance: (Sweet I’ll definitely steal those books for a bit on Tuesday when we play meatspace dnd)

‪Bronan: (meatspace? Also I looked up purple worms…those are big boy monsters… I mean Bronan would probably try to kill one, but as a player, we should definitely avoid them until much, much later in the game)

Constance: (Meta gaming! DM will be raging!)

‪Bronan: (meh as I said, Bronan would definitely try and kill em, and almost did until he was stopped!)

DM: (dune film was a masterpiece, and meta gaming will be punished with a random spell of my choice…But purple worm I’ll forgive, it’s pretty intriguing!

Bronan: (I thought the film was good as a kid, rewatching it last year and was disappointed, especially given the mini-series, bit given the cgi and effects of the time, it was pushing the limits, but it could do with a reboot)

Faustus: (It’s been a long time since I watched it. Also I’m back)

DM: So. You are meeting with Melbos, he want to know how you found out about the Mayors ties to the house of Endless sun

Constance: (Entertainment? Coms?)

Faustus: (The mayor being tied to the endless sun was a guess right? All we knew was that we found the bodies with their mark?)

Constance: (Yup. That plus the expecting a cart coming in)

Faustus: Ah yeah

Faustus: (We say this?)

Constance: (I already mentioned it, he asked how you know of them)

Faustus: (That’s what I mean, mention the bodies?)

Constance: (I leave that decision in your hands)

Faustus: We found bodies of men posing as traders with the mark of the house. I recognised it but know little else of their workings.  They had been ambushed by the Blessed Wind.

DM: Aha

DM: This will not please the mayor one bit

‪Bronan: The mayor waiting for men with scorpion tattoo? That why guardfriends say they do doubleshifts?

DM: I believe so

Constance: Wait. What?

Constance: Why would the mayor not be pleased? I was under the impression that he was expecting these people?

Bronan: Mm but scorpion tattoo men dead, worm food

DM: Because they have been killed, and his package, whatever it was, stolen?

Constance: I see.

Constance: Well is that something that he needs to know?

DM: He is up to something

‪Bronan: Remember? Constance upset, Bronan make constance happy and make grave, grave go into worm

DM: Worm? So no trace is left?

Constance: I do recall thank you Bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan not know worm digestive tract detail, may be trace

Faustus: The bodies were consumed by gigantic purple worms. We barely escaped ourselves.

Constance: We agree. We also believe he is up to something. Which is where our two paths cross. We believe that our best way of finding out more is to find whatever was on that cart and whoever took it.

DM: Then the Blessed Wind.

DM: As I said. Toma will give you a map, take a while and think of your plan and let him know any equipment you need or help you want

Bronan: *Bronan has finished his ale, looks around and refills and offers ale to people without ale*

DM: You have my blessing. This mayor, his strange desires. They do not help us, or the people of this town

DM: Melbos gratefully accepts ale and drinks it with his straw

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor not nice guy, Bronan and Faustus and Constance friends make plan and speak to Tomafriend about things to kill birdmen?

DM: Perfectly summarised Bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan once work with bard called Cliff to make notes on tribe history

Faustus: Haha

DM: Superb

‪Bronan: (how does sir dribbles react to Melbos?)

DM: Curious, but cautious

DM: Melbos offers sir dribbles a biscuit

DM: Toma says, ‘seek me by Albo’s traders, Master Melbos will not be at this house again’

Bronan: Ok friend Toma, thank you for talk Melbos-elder, and Sir dribbles grateful for biscuit

Faustus: I nod.

Bronan: (where do we go guys?)

Constance: Thanks for your hospitality gentlemen. We shall speak again soon.

Constance: Back to the church? Study the map? Come up with a plan? Or head straight out of town.

Bronan: Hmm church lady friendly, holy water nice

‪Bronan: (does anyone remember where the child found us to give us the message? Maybe we avoid there?)

Constance: That’s why I said maybe head out of town.

‪Bronan: Ok, Bronan follow Constance and Faustus friends

Faustus: Sure.

Faustus: Are we dead set on avoiding the mayor then?

Faustus: Not that I disagree. Just checking.

Constance: I mean. What’s the best case scenario?

Constance: We speak, it’s unlikely we will find out anything from him. Maybe he gets this gem that he wants from us.

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor shady, not wash hands, want magic gem and is badman, Bronan have gem, Bronan also have the beers, Bronan give Scarf-mayor the beers and die before giving dirty Scarf-mayor gem

‪Bronan: He send hungry child to send message, not feed childn send message

Faustus: Ok. I’m cool with all that, but it’s making an enemy. Which is fine. Is a bad dude clearly.

Constance: He’s at least a shady dude.

Faustus: Yup

‪Bronan: (an enemy is only an enemy as long as they’re alive…)

Faustus: Also true.

Bronan: Bronan think we can deal with Scarf-mayor, plus his message vague, not sure it from him, Bronan still not sure, happy to say it not clear if he ask

‪Bronan: No time limit on gem quest

Constance: Plus. In a purely mercenary sense this thing is worth more than we were offered. If we can get more elsewhere, fuck that guy

Faustus: Cool. I agree.

DM: So where were you headed?

DM: Are

Bronan: (how full is the ale keg now, I think a barrel holds around 40 gallons, if it’s three quarters full Bronan will probably ask for another barrel for supplies)

‪Bronan: (his flaw is he is enamoured with ale)

Constance: I think out of town, back in the direction of the obsidian ridge, find somewhere to hole up for a bit and come up with a plan of action, send word to Toma and Faisal what we need at night when we won’t be seen, then head to the place on the map to enact the plan

‪Bronan: Sound good plan

DM: Okay

Faustus: Yup

DM: There are a couple of deserted freeholds you passed on the way to obsidian ridge

Constance: Free holds?

DM: It’s 4 days to the actual ridge,

DM: Old farms

DM: But abandoned

DM: So basically you can find an abandoned shack on the edge of town. Or just out of town, or within a day of town. After that it’s desert so you camp out

DM: Bronan your barrel is almost full, it’s a pretty big barrel!

‪Bronan: Awesome news

Constance: I would say just outside town. That way we can easily get supplies for any plan that we come up with.

Faustus: Yup

DM: That is easy enough. You can make stealth checks if you are trying to be incredibly subtle about it

Bronan: 14 for Bronan

‪Bronan: (he oiled the handcart weeks)

Constance: Stealth is Dex right?

Constance: 17 + 3

DM: Great, great

DM: Faustus?

DM: Actually for a group check 2/3 passing is fine. You slowly make your way out of town toward a simple abandoned farmsted. You double back and head down side streets to minimise the chance of being seen, and feel like you’ve made it safely and discretely to shelter. You are about a mile out of town, a simple one room building next to a small field of withered date trees and a well

Bronan: Can I check to see if the well seems safe to drink from?

DM: Sure thing, nature roll! There is a bucket and rope

DM: As you have been through a reasonable amount of trouble and strife, this little base camp planning trip is a good time…to level up!

‪Bronan: That’s a 17 for nature

DM: The water is scummy on top

DM: But with a few minutes getting rid of that bad water, you are soon brining up crisp clear cool water

DM: So now you guys need to level up, and make a plan!

Constance: (Do you want us to role for Hp or just take what’s on the sheet?

DM: (Honestly don’t mind, no worries)

Constance: Sound. I’ll just take the average then

‪Bronan: Me too, I’m now on 23 hitpoints, get reckless attack and danger sense

Faustus: I just did it with the app so I think it took the average again? I’m on 20 hp. I need to pick a spell, got divine smite and I picked the protection fighting style which means I can use my shield to give an attack on an adjacent ally disadvantage as a reaction.

DM: Cooool

DM: It’s been a busy week for you guys! Big desert trek, undead gnolls, mysterious gems, officials with ties to crime, Thri-keen criminals offering you aid, aaracokra bandits…

DM: But for now you feel rested, and strong, and in mastery of your powers

DM: The desert is vast- the world is yours.

Bronan: (We have been busy!)

Constance: Three Warriors, in a land of hilarious typos.

Constance: Right if we are all levelled up. I want to take a look at this map.

Constance: Like that picture on the last page of LMoP

DM: That’s the map Toma gave you. The red X is where you found the caravan

DM: Further east, desert and plains for hundreds of miles then the sea. South, desert for weeks then jungle then ???. West, slow rise to steppe style higher altitude. North, city of Cormyra, and north of that many more cities and kingdoms and seas etc

DM: But to your knowledge Cormyra is the last great city to the south

Constance: So guys. Why don’t we head back in the general direction of that ambush. And set an ambush of our own!

Faustus: Sounds good to me.

‪Bronan: Sound good

‪Bronan: What equipment we need? Javelins? People with crossbow hiding in wagon?

Constance: I was thinking. Our two main issues will be flying and numbers.

Constance: So we need something to thin them out and keep them grounded.

Constance: How much cash do we have between us?

Constance: I have like two gold plus 8 silver. (Did we start with any $$$$?)

DM: Whatever you starting gold was

DM: But Melbos indicated that equipment for this venture would be funded by him

DM: So special weapons/items he will probably give you (within reason)

Constance: Ah. Lovely.

Constance: Well I’m thinking covered wagon with something hidden inside. We would need ranged weapons to take down anything that gets away from us. And nets. Lots and lots of nets.

Faustus: We found 10 gold each at the tomb too.

Faustus: So I have 20.

Constance: Yeah but I spent that.

Constance: Or at least most of it. No idea what starting gold was

DM: What’s your background, acolyte?

‪Bronan: Bronan has no gold

‪Bronan: Maybe a small net thrower style catapult kind of thing? Or, we could lure them to the wagon and then have a burning death trap with alchemists fire. And if we can somehow get something to make them fall prone, that would be great. My worry is that we will end up chucking javelins and maybe killing a couple on the floor while they pepper us with arrows. Maybe we need some way of getting cover? It would be hard to throw a javelin while hiding under a wagon

Constance: Agreed.

Constance: Maybe one person with wagon, one in the back under cover and one hidden elsewhere?

‪Bronan: I’m thinking maybe a stage coach style kind thing with ‘supplies’ wagon behind with the net thrower, that way someone on the stagecoach can chuck javelins etc and we can get into cover when we need to, we could hitch the net thrower to the stage coach

‪Bronan: Obviously, Bronan would be saying this in broken Bronanese which I am happy to type out if you want?

DM: Probably unnecessary in this case!

Constance: How would one go about throwing nets?

Constance: Or rigging something to do so?

Bronan: Kind if like a bolas thrower?

Constance: I was thinking maybe get some alchemist fire? Hunting traps? Dig holes covered with nets type thing?

Constance: I don’t know what a bolas thrower is

‪Bronan: A bolas is basically a weighted rope that was used to ensure people, a bolas thrower is not something that comes up easily in Google, but I swear I’ve seen some form of pedestal based weapon that slings them at people

‪Bronan: With a horizontal movement

‪Bronan: Ensnare*

DM: Yeah, basically a ballista that shoots bolas’s

‪Bronan: Yeah

‪Bronan: But maybe with nets? I know it’s essentially a siege weapon but can always ask!

DM: So you are looking for some ranged attacks and some ways to keep them grounded, including ranged ways of keeping them down?

‪Bronan: Pretty much, I won’t be able to fly until level 14

‪Bronan: Unless you were thinking of setting up a stationary trap Constance? Not sure we want to be digging much with the worms around but we could always try to summon the works to attack the bird people?

‪Bronan: (furiously tries to figure out if we can full on sandworm ride the purple worms)

DM: Ha.

DM: Summoning sandworms?

DM: Nature check

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 11 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 9 – SANCTUARY

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

 

DM: Bronan, you are a gem of a man. We swap tymora for Yeenoghu? Melbos loves dogs, he will like this very much

DM: And if you see Drellich before sundown, tell him to get out of town. Otherwise…

DM: They shrug

Bronan: Can we have map to birdmen too? Bronan know friend must make money, but Bronan want to help friend get richer

DM: Bronan

DM: Make a persuasion check with advantage

‪Bronan: Mkay

‪Bronan: Ah shit, I got a 3 and a 4, so 4

Faustus: Oh man. Shame. Nice try.

DM: Bronan, my friend, we can’t! But. Perhaps. Hm. I tell you what. I like you. You guys could perhaps…meet Melbos? This idea of expansion beyond the obsidian ridge might interest him

DM: Meet us back here tomorrow at noon if you are interested

Faustus: I nod. We will consider it, thank you.

‪Bronan: Ok, Bronan give statue for statue

‪Bronan: I give them the statue

DM: Superb. They smile, and bow to you, and give you the tymora statue. As you emerge back on to he square, a small child in ragged clothes approaches you

DM: He reaches up with a folded piece of parchment in his hand

DM: A message for the dragonborn, the halfling, and the big drunk man! 1 gold piece for delivery!

‪Bronan: Bronan gives the gold

DM: He give you the note

DM: It reads:

‪Bronan: Pats kid on the head, and says “remember boy, do your deadlift and you’ll get big and strong”

DM: Friends, I hear you have returned from the desert. Come and see me at the Harbour. Yours, X

DM: The boy almost falls over front he weight of your hand

DM: Then runs off

Constance: Good moves guys. Was making dinner

DM: So you have the spell gem, the tymora statue, and the note. It’s late afternoon now

Faustus: Well shall we return the statue first?

Bronan: We return statue?

‪Bronan: Shit, I am actually devolving into Bronan now

DM: Hahaha

DM: You are heading back to the tymora temple?

Bronan: I think so?

DM: The old dwarf priestess is outside directing drellich, who is incompetently up a ladder swinging a hammer at some roof beams

‪Bronan: We never learned her name, “priestess lady, we have statue for you”

DM: She is overwhelmed! She starts crying and thanking you

DM: She takes it through to the shrine and places it on its stand and amounts it with holy water

DM: Tymora, bless these adventurers, may their luck be strong!

DM: You feel tingly

Constance: We need a word with Drellich my lady, he is in danger.

DM: Of course. Go careful, you kind young folk. Are you sure I can’t give you some money for your trouble?

‪Bronan: Bronan has beer and Sir dribbles, has friends, Bronan rich in a way

‪Bronan: You want ale nice priestess lady?

DM: She lifts her flask of holy water and smiles

DM: Try this, barbarian

‪Bronan: Ok, I take a swig

DM: (constitution saving throw if you do)

DM: This is the most potent alcohol you’ve ever tasted

Bronan: Hmm ok, I have plus 4, let’s see what the roll is

‪Bronan: I got a 12

‪Bronan: Goddamnit wizards dice roller

DM: Okay. You manage to hold it down, she looks very impressed. You feel good. In fact, you have 4 temporary hit points

Bronan: Hmm holy water nice, maybe Bronan become church man like Faustus

DM: The dwarf lady goes off to do some priestly things, leaving you three alone with Drellich

Constance: We take him to a quiet alcove of the church.

DM: Sure

DM: Hey guys. Look. Sorry about before. But I’ve got a great tip on the scorpion fights tonight, I think i can quintuple our money! You front me your gold and I’ll get us sorted, and a tidy profit!

DM: He smiles winningly

Constance: Go fuck yourself. If you’re still in this town 15 minutes from now, broken legs will be the least of your concerns.

DM: Intimidation check! Advantage because of bronan and Faustus menacingly standing behind you

Constance: 16 + 1 (cha?).

Constance: The lower was a 6

DM: He starts to cry

DM: What should I do? Where should I go?!

Faustus: Away. Try to start over and live a better life than the one you have been. And if you can’t keep yourself from vice, lying and stealing then live alone so you don’t inflict yourself on those better than you.

DM: He bolts

DM: And you are left alone in the church

DM: What do you guys want to do?

Bronan: We have a note saying to meet in the harbor, a meeting with the crime Lord tomorrow and the mayor to eventually deal with, do you guys reckon the note was from the mayor?

Constance: I do.

Bronan: In that case, do we risk staying in the inn or camping outside of town? Possible we could chill in the church?

Constance: Is it night? Do we have any other stuff in town?

DM: Ite late evening

DM: Almost sundown

Bronan: Try to sleep in the church?

Constance: Sure. SANCTUARY

Bronan: We agree, so we do that?

DM: Yes the works, the dwarf lady is happy enough for you to rest there over night

Constance: Thank you kind lady! Blessings upon you.

Faustus: Sure

DM: Full rest, all stuff restored

Constance: Ok so open threads.

1. The Hunter – bring him something we kill to impress him.

2. The Mayor / Mysterious Employer – Got the gem, worth way more, mayor killed some guy nothing done, got a letter saying to meet him at the harbour.

3. Melbos The Enforcer – Invited to meet him where we spoke with Faizal and Toma at noon. To speak about helping him “”expand””.

‪Bronan: We were going to try to find out what the scorpion tattooed people were carrying in their cage, though that is part of the Melbourne expansion/birdmen thing I guess

‪Bronan: Which do you wanna do first?

Constance: Melbos. Might have leads to find out what the hell is going on before we decide whether or not to give him this gem. But, he knows we are here now so we might have to make off pretty sharpish afterwards.

Bronan: I agree, at this point we have had more help from the thieves

‪Bronan: So I guess in the morning I take sir dribbles for a quick walk in the church, let him outside for his constitutional and make breakfast for us and the priestess

DM: For sure

DM: In the morning you are set to meet Melbos at noon in the alley

‪Bronan: I make sure constance and Faustus get a hearty breakfast for the day ahead, don’t want them to get hungry later, and say “we have time until noon, you guys have errand? Can Bronan come? Or we chat with priestess and play drum?”

Faustus: Equally (this is basically the only message I can send tonight) we don’t necessarily need to help the expansion of organised crime that involves drugs and trafficking. We could politely decline if it’s a bit too shady.

Bronan: Ok, Bronan will protect interests and Faustus

Faustus: I believe you

‪Bronan: Ooh, my bond is I have awful visions, so I guess you guys heard Bronan having nightmares

‪Bronan: Forgot about that

DM: You had nightmares of the purple worms

DM: But they had feathers?

Bronan: Dear Christ, Bronan stares into the cookie for a bit, but as soon as you speak to him, he becomes cheery again

‪Bronan: Cook fire

Constance: We don’t necessarily need to help them if it’s too shady, but we might be able to get some information.

‪Bronan: Hmm yes, birdman Mao useful, Bronan finally get revenge for bedroll

‪Bronan: Birdman map

‪Bronan: Although if they are communist, that would be funny

DM: If you head to the alley around noon?

‪Bronan: Yup

DM: Toma is there waiting

DM: My friends

DM: Melbos is near

DM: Are you ready?

DM: Please. Do not stare at him. He finds it rude. Be respectful

Bronan: Ho friend Toma, how are you? Ale? No worry, Bronan no stare

Constance: How about I stare at Bronan, Bronan stares at Faustus and Faustus stares at me. Then none of us can stare at Melbos

‪Bronan: Sound Complex, if Constance think it best, Bronan do

DM: Sure thing guys. Follow me

DM: He leads you down to a small house, nondescript, with a door for access off a little side street

‪Bronan: Cool, any secret knock?

DM: Yes, three short two long

DM: It opens onto a room with a large table. A pot of mint tea and four cups are laid out. Sat opposite is a…bug creature

Bronan: Bronan does what Constance told him, and adds his tribal greetings to an elder, kneel on one knee holding a full cup of ale for What he presumes is Melbos

‪Bronan: Greetings

DM: Melbos takes the mug from you, and Toma quickly fetches a straw

Constance: Hello my good man!

Constance: *gasps*

Bronan: Melbos call, Bronan come, may Bronan rise?

DM: Gasps?

DM: Toma says

DM: You may rise. I will speak with Melbos’s voice

DM: Sit, friends.

‪Bronan: My thanks Melbos, may your cupnever run dry

‪Bronan: Bronan rises and takes a seat

DM: So. Tomas tells me you are interested in the Blessed Wind. And you provided us with that lovely Yeenoghu statue!

DM: And drove that fool drellich out of town, for which you have my thanks

Bronan: Yes, we happy to help, birdmen are bad, Bronan want to find and crush, drellich tiny thinman, not strong in mind either, Bronan sad for him, but he make bedroll, he now sleep in it

DM: The birdmen…You understand, my operation is…not entirely legal? The scorpion fighting ring, some resourcing of objects?

DM: The birdmen control the red grass sea

DM: If they did not, well. Melbos might be able to make that into an opportunity

Bronan: Bah, Bronan met law man, law man ok, but only drink 2 ales

‪Bronan: Birdmen spoil Bronan bedroll when Bronan young. Birdmen kill and hide like sneaky dogmen

‪Bronan: Toma and Faisal friend say have map to birdmen, say map help friends find birdmen and crush

DM: The birdmen, the dogmen. It is own problem, friend bronan. The red grass sea is wild- civilisation cannot progress

Bronan: (hopefully Constance will step in!)

DM: If you believe you can crush the birdmen, you can of course have a map

Bronan: Hmm, can Bronan tell tale friend Melbos?

DM: May I have another ale? (he slurps his mug dry and tilts his head)

‪Bronan: Of course, elders cup never run dry

‪Bronan: Bronan hastily refills the cup, and places a second next to it

DM: Toma thanks you (as melbos)

DM: Melbos is communicating to Toma via hisses and clicks

DM: A map, then. And food and water and horses. These I will give you, and in return, the blessed wind shall cease

Bronan: We do, how many birdmen roost there? Bronan have three javelins and the beers, but maybe Bronan need net? More javelin?

DM: We think a dozen

Bronan: Bronan like to be prepared, otherwise Bronan prepares to fail

DM: So you’d best attack them in groups. Perhaps pose as a caravan and lead them to you in a trap?

Bronan: Hmm, trap is good, silly prey always fall into trap

DM: Think on it friends. Let Toma know what you want, and within reason it will be provided

‪Bronan: Melbos-elder smart

DM: Take a day to plan, a rushed fray will benefit us not

Bronan: Melbos-elder,may Bronan ask about one more think friend Toma and Faisal said? Bronan been thinking for while about it

DM: Ask ahead bronan

DM: I think you want to ask a question?

DM: Or tell a tale?

‪Bronan: Bronan tell tale then ask question

‪Bronan: When Bronan younger, looking for vision quest. Prove Bronan man, not thinman

‪Bronan: Bear move into Valley, Bronan tribe not worried, bear is bear, tribe is tribe, lots of land, prey everywhere, but more and more bear come, soon bear coming to waterhole in Bronan village

‪Bronan: Not a problem, but bear not speak to spirit elders, bear aloof like that

‪Bronan: So, bear keep taking more land and more land, until Bronan knew he must stop, Bronan took fathers bottle opener, and went on vision quest

‪Bronan: Bronan kill bear, soon other bears leave

‪Bronan: Bronan think bears like blessed wind, they get bold and then example be made

‪Bronan: But it seems Melbos-elder know this

DM: Friend bronan. You are wise. You see that progress must be made

DM: But I think you make a true point. An example- if you were to slay the biggest bear, the other bears would leave

Bronan: Bronan question may seem foolish, Bronan wise in some things, but Bronan ok in saying some things, Bronan no good at

‪Bronan: Mayor wear scarves and turban to trick others, to do things mayor should not do, like not wash hands. If mayor have scarves and people know it him. Why not they tell him mayor, wash hands, you have scarves on face to dry hands

DM: Aha. Many do not know. And those who question, or discover…You understand some bears are best not poked?

DM: The mayor plays his games, and has his intrigues

‪Bronan: Hmm not wise to poke bear, but less wise to sleep in cave without checking for bear

‪Bronan: That how Bronan lost cousin

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 10 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 8 – Legs Heal

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

 

DM: It’s a small town, it takes you around five minutes to find a house with a blue door. There are empty glass bottle sputtered outside the door and heavy curtains drawn across the windows (which are holes in the wall)

‪Bronan: Whatever makes you happy *good-naturedly pats her head*

‪Bronan: Are we going in sneaky like dogmen, or loud like Bronan?

Faustus: Well we are near the mayors house, who we are now trying to avoid

Constance: I think straightforward knocking. Maybe you go round the back Bronan I case we spook him and he tries to run.

‪Bronan: Ok, like dogmen, I leave ale nearby though, people might take, in fact we bring with? Want an ale?

‪Bronan: If they decline, I will take the barrel round back, sit on it, in one hand ‘the beers’ in the other an ale resting lightly on the barrel looking dead at the back door, if they agree, I give them an ale first

DM: Haha

DM: So bronan guarding back door, faustus and Constance knocking?

DM: There is no response

Constance: Is the door open?

DM: It is locked

DM: You trying the handle?

‪Bronan: (you have seen Bronan has a fairly moderate portable ram)

Constance: Yup.

‪Bronan: It lives on the handcart

DM: As you jiggle the handle

DM: The back door opens and a glad, tall man in black robes bursts out, then stops dead when he sees bronan

DM: Shut, he says

DM: Shit*

‪Bronan: Hey Bro, want a cool ale?

DM: Um, no, I need to be heading off actually

DM: Constance and Faustus you hear this happening

‪Bronan: No. I’m going to need you to have an ale friend

‪Bronan: Now.

‪Bronan: Don’t you want to hit the beers?

Faustus: I join them

Constance: I stay at the front door in case he tries to come this way. And tell Faustus that I am doing so

DM: As faustus comes around the corner the man visibly gulps

DM: Sure

DM: A beer

Faustus: How about we head back inside for that beer.

‪Bronan: Wait, did you want to hit the beers, or did you want an ale?

‪Bronan: Important difference to Bronan

DM: Um

DM: Which one is a drink?

DM: Yes let’s go inside and have a drink

‪Bronan: Both have alcohol in them

‪Bronan: But ok, we sort this out inside

‪Bronan: *wheels cart in after downing the mug of ale, still holding ‘the beer’s (his axe)

DM: When you get inside, it’s basically a hovel. Some blankets in a corner, a slop bucket, and a table with one chair

DM: A few candles clearly remolded from other candles light the room

DM: There is a small wooden box next to the blanket

DM: “is this about the camel races? I know I promised I wouldn’t come back, I promise I wasn’t betting!”

‪Bronan: I call out to Constance, “hey little Bro, the man is going to unlock the door now”

‪Bronan: Aren’t you thinman?

DM: It’s a simple latch on the front door, the man lets Constance in

Faustus: Drellich, right?

DM: “Whats a thinman?”

DM: Yes I’m drellich

Faustus: Where is the idol Drellich?

‪Bronan: A weedy little Bro who can’t squat their bodyweight or deadlift a cat

Constance: I come in and survey the place, checking that there is no one else around / hiding.

DM: Oh. Well. I think I can deadlift a cat

Faustus: Also is this guy bald, tall and gangly?

DM: Yup

DM: You work for Melbos?

‪Bronan: So, we all settled, thinman, you want the beers or an ale, we want statue, you have

DM: Statue? Oh

DM: He goes pale

DM: Oh oh. Statue. The priest sent you?

‪Bronan: Bronan draws another ale

‪Bronan: Ale or the beers littleman, Bronan is late for lunch and Sir dribbles needs walkies

DM: Ale, please

DM: Look

DM: I don’t have it

‪Bronan: I hand him an ale

DM: I sold it to those two thieves

Faustus: Can I tell if he’s telling the truth?

DM: Sure, roll perception

Faustus: 12

DM: He drinks from the ale and sits down at the table, rubbing his head with his hands

DM: Guys, I’m in a lot of trouble

DM: He seems to be telling the truth

Faustus: You sure are. You stole a sacred statue.

DM: I sold the statue to Faisal and Toma. And I owe Melbos 100 gold, if I don’t pay by sunset he is going to break my legs!

‪Bronan: Bronan not have God, but Bronan not shit on gods

DM: I was going to buy it back once I won big with the money I got for selling it!

‪Bronan: What money you have now?

DM: Buy back the statue, settle with Melbos…

‪Bronan: You buy back statue now

DM: He empties his pockets onto the table. 1 gold piece, 2 silver, 3 copper

DM: I lost it all at the scorpion fights!

‪Bronan: Legs heal, Bronan once broke man’s legs and man walked again same day with cleric

DM: What am I going to do? Tymora has cursed me, Melbos will break my legs

DM: Clerics cost money, and the nearest cleric is in Cormyra!

‪Bronan: (shit you guys, are we going to have to rob a scorpion fighter ring?)

‪Bronan: What you guys think?

Faustus: I don’t think we *have* to do anything.

Faustus: Tymora didn’t curse you at all. You did this. You were slave to your vices and now you’re in even more trouble.

‪Bronan: It’s true, man should be pure *swigs ale*

Faustus: How much did you sell the statue for?

DM: 20 gold

Faustus: Well they saw you coming.

‪Bronan: Hmm, did they say they would sell it back for 20?

DM: Oh

DM: I should have asked that

Constance: *sigh*

Faustus: Did they tell you they would sell it back at all?

DM: Oh. Um.

Constance: What use do they have for a statue?

DM: I didn’t ask

Constance: Fair enough.

Constance: Look. How about this. We go talk to these gentlemen on your behalf, in the meantime, you go apologise to the nice priestess at Tymora and volunteer to fix her roof for free. That pays your debt to her at least, the other debts we can fix.

Constance: Faisal and Toma seemed like stand up gents, this Melbos I don’t yet know.

‪Bronan: I agree

DM: Ill head to the shrine right away!

Faustus: We can go past it with you on the way to meeting these chaps

Faustus: Everything is all very close here.

Constance: Good idea.

DM: So you walk him to the temple and send him in to the priest, and then head back to Abo’s trader? Those two guys are still hanging out down the alley to the side of it, a dozen feet back from the street. The nearest guard is a few hundred yards away

Constance: We should come up with a signal or something.

Constance: Like one of us between the guards and the guys, in case we need some assistance

Faustus: Is the guard either of those we spoke to before?

DM: No

DM: They are a good way away

Faustus: Hmm. Guards may not be generally happy with us associating with criminal elements anyway?

Constance: Fair point.

Constance: Escape routes if things go south?

DM: Lots of little alleys and streets, but as I said it’s a very small town, more like a village. Run for more than 1000 yards in any direction from this central square and you will be in the desert

DM: Abo’s shop is on the central square, this alley leads off it. So one direction up the alley is central square, the other is side streets and houses. Couple of guards on the far side of the square, the rest are guarding the ends of roads

‪Bronan: I’m sure it’ll be fine, they seemed chill before

DM: Up to you! What’s the plan?

Constance: If this conversation goes south we split up and meet back at gambler guys house?

Faustus: Sounds good

DM: Cool

DM: How are you approaching this? Faisal and Toma seems to be rolling dice against a wall

Constance: Just openly “hello again gents!”

DM: Adventurers. Did you find your 100gold for that map? Or is there something else we can fix for you?

Constance: This is about something else

DM: Oh ho? Step into our office

DM: He smiles and gestures at a shadowy alcove, large crates blocking the view back to the square

DM: Toma packs up the dice and pulls up a small box, sitting down on it

DM: What can we fix for you? Poison? Weapons? Information? You need to hire some muscle, put the squeeze on someone? You want girl, boy, smoke?

Constance: Something a little more specific my friend.

Constance: I’m given to understanding that you have recently come into possession of a certain religious item.

Constance: (I turn on my tape recorder)

DM: Toma laughs

DM: The lucky lady? A lucky purchase I think. Drellich is a silly man, isn’t he

‪Bronan: Yes, it took him a 10 minutes to make a decision between beer and ale

DM: You seem like good types. The priestess wants her statue back?

‪Bronan: Yes, best not to anger the gods

DM: Faisal shrugs

DM: God’s are funny things

Faustus: She does. And the foolishness of that Drellich should not affect her.

DM: We paid drellich 40 gold for this, as it is quite a fine piece. A buyer in Cormyra might pay, oh, 50 gold for it

DM: But you want us to…sell it back to you, to give to the priest?

DM: And what of Drellichs other debt? Melbos wants his bones in pieces

Faustus: That dick said you gave him 20!

DM: Toma laughs, Faisal scowls

DM: Drellich burns every bridge

Faustus: Can I tell if they are lying?

DM: Sure, roll perception

Faustus: 14

DM: They are telling the truth

Faustus: Ok.

DM: I have no taste for this (toma)

DM: Tell you what

DM: 40 gold, we give you the statue. If that slug is still in town at sunfall, we take his legs. If you want to make him leave before then it might just save his life, but that’s not my business

Faustus: (Whispered conference with the others) I have 20 gold. Frankly I don’t care what happens to the guy.

‪Bronan: Hmm, Bronan only has 1 gold

Faustus: But I’d like to return the statue if we can.

Faustus: And if we convince him to leave, fine. If not, whatever.

Faustus: Constance?

Faustus: Oh also, can we tell if the statue is legit?

DM: Toma produces it for your inspection, religion check please

‪Bronan: How about we swap statues, Bronan has statue of demon gnoll

DM: Faizal looks intrigued

DM: May we see, friend bronan?

Faustus: I got a nat 20 again bud.

Faustus: Sorry.

DM: Ha

Faustus: If it helps I’m sure I’ll roll dick next time we are in a fight.

DM: It’s legit. You can tell because the coin in tymora’s hand has heads on both sides (tymora makes her own luck)

‪Bronan: Of cause Faisal, we friend, we want town to be happy, return statue to church, kill birdmen who are competition to friend Faisal and Toma if they want to expand

DM: Faizal and Toma inspect the Yeenoghu syatue

DM: And quickly confer

Faustus: Ok. I nod to indicate I’m happy with it. So I’m happy to either trade or if we can get the 40 together I’m cool with that too.

DM: Bronan, you are a gem of a man. We swap tymora for Yeenoghu? Melbos loves dogs, he will like this very much

DM: And if you see Drellich before sundown, tell him to get out of town. Otherwise…

DM: They shrug

Come back next Monday for Chapter 9 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 7 – I’ll Bronanise That

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

 

DM: You notice more guards in town than last time. There are no town walls, but a couple of guards at the end of each road, and a couple patrolling. All have scimitars, leather armour, and white turbans. They wear the blue gloves of the Al’shash guard

Faustus: Reckon we should ask our trader about the guy who gave us the job and what he sent us to get, without letting on that we got it?

Constance: I’d like to talk to a guard please

DM: Okay two separate conversations here. Faustus you said first. Abo of Abo’s provisions, what are your questions?

Faustus: I lack the patience to double check the slim details we have on the dude. I remember the word turban. Can we assume I used all the description I know of the guy (did we have a name) and ask Abo if he knows him?

DM: Yup. No name. Shady guy, face hidden, all in robes and turban

DM: In the Harbour inn

DM: Abo shrugs and says no, and then when the only other customer has left his shop he says to you:

DM: Be careful friends. Abo does not know this man, but not two nights ago he killed someone in the Harbour who tried to threaten him

DM: The guards did nothing.

Constance: (I’m muting for a bit as I’m playing real life dnd. But I’m here)

DM: My wife, she saw him go into the mayor’s house after dark

Faustus: Oof. Spooky kabuki.

Faustus: So he’s well connected and strong.

Faustus: He sent us on a quest to retrieve a gemstone from the tomb of Ptolnos. Have you any idea why anyone would want that?

DM: Ptonos? Ptonos, that was so long ago. I haven’t heard of his gemstone, but he was a mighty magic user many many years ago

DM: Mighty magic**

Faustus: Generally a good or bad guy?

DM: Bad guy! Used to hunt peasants with his spectral hounds

Faustus: I see. So your guess is that anything found in his tomb would likely be bad news

DM: I do not know my friends. But be careful. If the mayor and guard are involved… The mayor has ties back to Cormyra

‪Bronan: Where is Bronan right now?

DM: I’m assuming you are together at the shop, and now all going to chat to a guard?

Bronan: Ok cool

DM: Anything you’d also like to do bronan?

‪Bronan: Lemme grab a phb

‪Bronan: I want to buy a portable ram, which is 4gp and a barrel of ale

DM: How are you planning on transporting the ale?

‪Bronan: And a small hand cart wheels thing

DM: Hahaha

DM: 15 for the ale, 5 for the cart

‪Bronan: Then I have 1gp left, can I try to bargain for a refill on the axe ale as well, as I’m spending 24gp?

DM: Sure

DM: Easy peasy

DM: Constance what are you asking the guard, any specific guard?

Constance: Just the first one I see that looks vaguely not a dick.

Constance: Hey there! You guys seem to be beefing up security round here!

DM: Who’re you pal? I don’t know you. Watch your step in Al’shash

‪Bronan: Greetings lawkeeper, do you want ale?

DM: He looks left and right and winks at his buddy

DM: Two ales pal, many thanks

DM: You lads need anything let us know

‪Bronan: I give them some ale, fresh from the barrel, “my friend here is curious, care for a chat?”

DM: Sure pal. Sure. What do you guys want to know? You seem like fine young people

DM: More guards this week, mayor ordered double shifts

DM: Something about rumours of desert bandits, and we need to keep an eye out for a trade caravan due any day now apparently. Usual shite eh?

Constance: Sounds like a mare my friend! Something important supposed to be coming in?

DM: Not sure. Something for the mayor

Constance: Oh really!? I’ve heard the roads from Cormyra is pretty safe though. Right?

DM: He winks at you

DM: Aye, the roads to Cormyra are safe…

‪Bronan: Safer with lads Like you on the watch, amiright lads? Cheers!

‪Bronan: When they run dry i fill their mugs

‪Bronan: I also offer ale to Faustus and Constance

Faustus: I raise my ale to the guards and drink deeply.

Constance: I sip too.

‪Bronan: My new Bronan, what shall we call you guys?

‪Bronan: Name*

DM: Nice. Cheers boys. Two’s our limit though

DM: We are the Muljin brothers, Big Muljin and Little Muljin

DM: You boys better move on or the sergeant might get unhappy. Stay safe though, and if you need anything you come find it

‪Bronan: No trouble bros, just wanted to help some friends out

‪Bronan: Constance, Faustus, where next?

Faustus: Hmm. If we go to the pub we might bump into the guy. And he’ll want to know if we have the gem. And if we lie or say we’re not giving it to him, he may murder us.

‪Bronan: I could eat the gem, that we we say we can’t give it to him right now, but soon?

‪Bronan: Or we could try somewhere else?

Constance: Hmm. Maybe we could ask around about these bandits? Get some sort of lead on where they took whatever was in that cage?

Faustus: I’m cool with either of those.

Faustus: Would any of the traders look like they can appraise a gemstone?

Constance: Maybe that’s something we shouldn’t be flashing around too much. At least until we get farther away from our mysterious employer.

Faustus: True

‪Bronan: I’m game for whatever, I mean, this ruby is pretty powerful right? So is the guy who wants it? Maybe we hurry and find info and get out of town?

‪Bronan: What size is the ruby again?

DM: Faustus, none of these traders specialise in magic or magic items so you don’t think any would know more than you already do

DM: Bronan, it’s about the size of a tangerine

‪Bronan: That’s gonna hurt on the way in and out…

DM: So to recap what you know- your contact has been seen going to the mayor’s house, and recently killed a bar patron over a trivial matter with no repercussions. There are extra guards due to a rumour of bandits, and because they are waiting for a trade caravan

‪Bronan: Whelp, the trader guy appears a bit evil, and there is a bit of corruption in the town leadership, I say we stage a coup

‪Bronan: By trader I mean our shrouded contact

Constance: I figure we try to find out two things. 1. Try to get a lead on bandits. 2. Try to find out more about the guy that was killed.

Faustus: Agreed

‪Bronan: Should we look into the bandits first? Investigating the dead guy might make us run into the contact

Constance: Agreed

DM: How would you like to do this?

‪Bronan: Are there any shady types about?

DM: The streets are fairly bare except the guards. Outside some fruit and water vendors, a few people milling around

DM: Roll perception for me?

Constance: I think finding other adventurers might be a good starting point.

DM: Ask them what they would do in this situation

Constance: More like if they have come across any aarakocra bandits.

DM: I meant ask whoever you are interviewing what they would do in this situation!

DM: But yeah that makes more sense

‪Bronan: I got a 16 for perception

DM: In a side alley by Abo’s trader, there are two thin men with daggers at their hip, chewing loit, a local herb. They look conspicuously inactive but semi-visible. The guards do not acknowledge them when they patrol past

‪Bronan: I walk up to them, pulling the barrel of ale, “hello brothers, have you got a minute for a free ale?”

DM: They look at each other and one sticks another clove of loit in his mouth

DM: It is early for drinking, brother. We have a long day ahead of us. Many thanks though

DM: Are you looking for something?

‪Bronan: Yes, I hear that there have been some guys stepping into the game outside of town, birdmen

‪Bronan: Actually hang on, I’ll Bronanise that

‪Bronan: Bronan hear birdmen are moving into your territory, Bronan want help defend territory against birdmen, birdmen crap on Bronans bedroll when Bronan was child

DM: Can you roll deception

‪Bronan: Is it a deception? We do want to hunt the bandits, I’ll roll it though one sec

DM: Did the aaracokra bandits poop on your bedroll as a child?

‪Bronan: Well that’s what his tribe told him

‪Bronan: It was probably one of his peers playing a prank, however…

‪Bronan: I keep the log for rolls for the day, so the Nat 20 is deception the 16 perception earlier

DM: Nat 20. Ha.

DM: The two men smile at you.

DM: Funny guy. Birdmen don’t cross the obsidian ridge, we don’t cross the obsidian ridge. They are no bother to us. We stick to Al’shash. But whatever you need here, we can make it happen

DM: Girls, drugs, boys, contraband, information…Faisal and Toma are your guys

‪Bronan: We need track birdmen, we find birdmen, we smash birdmen

DM: Track the Blessed Wind? Ha. Well. Shit. Let’s talk more away from where we might be overheard.

DM: He gestures down the alley and wanders down it

‪Bronan: Also we need talk about turban scarf man in tavern, who is he, where he from? Why he so friendly with mayor?

‪Bronan: Ok good

DM: The two of them laugh and laugh

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles pikes his head out snorts and pokes his head down again

DM: Friend barbarian…The mysterious turban scarf man in the tavern…that IS the mayor

‪Bronan: Why he wear turban and scarf? Did mayor fall into fire when child? Get bad tattoo?

DM: No, he thinks nobody knows it is him. He does that to do things a mayor shouldn’t really be doing

‪Bronan: Ah, like not wash hand after bathroom

DM: Hmm

DM: Something like that

DM: Now friends, among friends a piece of two of information might go free. But we are businessmen. So now that we are friends and acquainted, and you know our business, know that you may seek us out and for a price we will find you anything

DM: Perhaps even a way to catch the Blessed Wind!

‪Bronan: Thanks friends, you want some ale for the road?

DM: No thank you brother

DM: Go careful of the mayor, he is a man of many strange plans!

‪Bronan: Ok, Faisal and Toma, you good friend, thanks for talk and advice

DM: A bell starts tolling- you hadn’t noticed before but it seems to be some sort of church or shrine, similar to the other buildings save for a squat bell tower. It is one street behind the Harbour Inn

Constance: You two gentlemen seem like a valuable font of information. What will it take for some more deets on this “Blessed Wind” you speak of?

‪Bronan: Faustus, you churchman, why the clinging and clanging?

Faustus: No idea, I don’t recognise this holy church (I assume?)

DM: Not form the bells Faustus, maybe if you went and investigated

Faustus: Ok I do that. (I can’t roll for about 30 mins because I’m in the gym.)

DM: 100 gold, little monk. For 100 gold I can give you a map with the location of the Blessed Wind’s secret lair!

DM: It’s fine, I’ve got your stats

DM: Faustus this is a temple to Tymora, goddess of luck. Pretty usual for a frontier town. There is a painting of her holding her lucky coin and smiling

DM: Constance, tymora is a favoured God of halflings!

DM: (are you playing a text based RPG whilst in the gym? If so, good effort)

Faustus: (Hey man I’m not a nerd)

Faustus: (Oh wait. I’m also wearing a wolverine t shirt. Never mind.)

DM: There a priest giving a sermon in the temple about good fortune favouring hard workers

DM: What do you guys want to do?

Constance: I want to go to the temple

DM: It’s a pretty sparse temple. The priest is an elderly female dwarf, who is giving a sermon to about four people

Constance: Cool. I’m going to sit in the back and scope it out.

DM: It’s a pretty standard boilerplate Tymora sermon, you’ve heard this sort of thing before. She notices three hardy adventurers with weapons covered in dust from the road at the back and looks a little nervous

DM: She wraps up the sermon pretty quick and her parishioners slowly file out. They seem like simple villagers, farmers and the like

DM: Greetings adventurers. Blessings of Tymora be upon you this fine day!

Constance: And to you my good lady!

Constance: Seems like a pretty low attendance at today’s sermon eh?

DM: Well, many are hard at work or worship in their own time!

DM: And truth be told we have not had much luck lately.

DM: Our idol was stolen a few weeks back, and since then nothing seems to be going right. And without Tymora’s idol to bless parishioners with luck, attendance has dropped

Constance: Who would do such a thing! Sacrilege!

DM: I know! It’s such a shame. A church with no idol is a hard thing to bear

DM: I don’t suppose…

DM: I’ve saved a little gold, I had been planning on repairing the roof. But if you could find the idol it is all yours!

‪Bronan: Bronan happy to help

Constance: I feel that taking your gold would be unbecoming. Perhaps a simple blessing and answers to some questions we might have would be payment enough.

Faustus: Have you any idea who may have taken the idol?

‪Bronan: Bronan has beer, no need for gold, maybe Bronan could do lifting and help with roof when idol back

DM: I think it was Drellich! He is the town drunk. He has had some gambling problems and always used to be in here praying for luck, but since it left so has he!

DM: You are such kind souls. Tymora be with you

DM: He lives two streets behind the mayor’s house, the house with the blue door

‪Bronan: What does he look like?

DM: Bald, very tall and gangly. He always wears black robes

‪Bronan: (by the by, Bronan doesn’t really worship a God, he’s just a ritual based tribal)

‪Bronan: Shall we go find him bros?

Constance: Let us seek out this wayward soul and bring him back to Tymoras light!

DM: It’s a small town, it takes you around five minutes to find a house with a blue door. There are empty glass bottle sputtered outside the door and heavy curtains drawn across the Windows (which are holes in the wall)

Come back next Monday for Chapter 8 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 6 – A Waste of Digging

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: You think Aaracokra bandits. You’ve heard rumours of a group called the Blessed Wind who have been assigned blame to all sorts of shady stuff, west and east of the obsidian shard wall

DM: Ambush tactics, resource preservation, it all fits

Faustus: Well.

DM: You’ve been here a while, but not found any trade foods or food or water…just corpses and broken arrows

DM: What are you up to?

Faustus: Well if we bury the corpses, no interesting shit on closer inspection?

DM: They appear to be simple traders

DM: Until you move them

DM: Under their robes, each is wearing lightweight leather armour, with many loops for throwing knives and clever weapons (all empty now)

Faustus: Oh dip!

Constance: So there’s no evidence that there was anything in the cart when it was burned?

Faustus: Any symbols or whatnot that may identify them?

DM: Faustus, investigation

DM: Constance, investigation

DM: Bronan, cold beer!

Constance: 13

DM: Hmm. You investigate the still smoking ruins…There are a lot of twisted metal bars, as if this cart held…a cage?

Constance: Well these aren’t just traders

Faustus: 18

DM: Faustus, you check them out and find, under tight leather bracers, on each man an identical scorpion tattoo on the left wrist

Bronan: Hey guys. Breakfast is ready (I bring them breakfast and ale)

‪Bronan: What are you guys looking at, want Bronans help?

Faustus: I sip my ale while I try to remember anything about the scorpion tattoo

Faustus: This was no random ambush on some traders

DM: Hiiiiiistory check, with advantage due to a crisp cold ale

DM: (that won’t happen every time)

Faustus: Nat 20

DM: Oh come on

Faustus: Sorry bud

Faustus: If it helps, there is absolutely no way this will last

DM: This is a lesser dragonmark, a symbol of one of the great crime houses of the city of Cormyra, the nearest large city to the east. They mark their henchmen thus, and the tattoos normally impart abilities. The size and placement (small, hidden) indicates low ranking members. These men were from the House of Endless Sun.

Faustus: Interesting

Constance: Regardless of their standing in life. They deserve to be respected in death. Let’s bury them.

‪Bronan: If it’ll make you happy 🙂

Faustus: Sure.

‪Bronan: Are there shovels in the wreckage?

DM: Nope

DM: Burnt wood and metal bars

DM: Sand is soft though

‪Bronan: Bronan uses rope to tie a board to a bar. Improv shovel

Faustus: And after – we don’t really have any location to head to with leads other than somewhere to find more out about the gem, get a lead on some big monsters, get some new gear?

DM: Superb

‪Bronan: And starts shifting sand

DM: Al’shash is the trading town you got this mission from, five days east

DM: Cormyra is the big city, maybe a week’s travel from Al’shash (but big roads, normally no issues)

DM: There are scholars in Cormyra who might be able to help with the gem/finding monsters? Similar for gear

Constance: Are there any tracks indicating which way the cart (and the not-trades) came?

Bronan: After Bronan has dug a reasonable size mass grave, he turns to constance, you know, normally we just cover body with rocks to stop birds and animals

DM: It came from the west, the deep desert, where nobody goes…

Constance: That seems like a good idea Bronan.

Bronan: Are there rocks? Or is it a cart rubble cairns situation?

‪Bronan: Cart*

DM: Cart rubble or sand

Constance: Maybe both.

Constance: Cart rubble then sand. Make shift gravestones with planks from cart?

DM: But yes, if you don’t want to return to Al’shash it would take you maybe ten days to reach Cormyra straight through

Bronan: Ok, I shore up the sides with a bit of rubble, pile of rubble on top, then put sand on top

DM: Grand

Constance: As we bury them I mutter a few words.

DM: You have all been doing this kind of low level guarding, tomb raiding, retrieval jobs for a few months together

Bronan: Gaddam, beat me to it!

Faustus: We set on not going back to the guy who gave us the job then?

Bronan: Bronan not care, Bronan has axe, friends, and Sir dribbles, might need to get some ale soon though

Constance: Hmm. We could, then what? He gives us shit all for this job?

Constance: Let’s head back and see if we can find out anything more about our employer

Faustus: Yeah we could do that first. If no reason to give it to him then we don’t have to.

Bronan: Sounds good

‪Bronan: Bronan dissembles his shovel to regain his rope

DM: Great

DM: So heading back to Al’shash?

DM: That’s a day to Rib Gulch, then four more to the town

DM: Any travel arrangements beyond walking, camping at night?

DM: Shit

DM: As you are sorting travel arrangements and making plans the earth starts to rumble

DM: What do you do?!

‪Bronan: The earth Bro is angry!

Faustus: Haha did you roll for that or are you pretending to be surprised?

DM: Rolled for it

Bronan: Bronan tries to pick up Constance and run to the hills, running for their lives

Faustus: Good stuff

Constance: Hahahaha. Is there anything solid nearby?

DM: Well, of the two hills one of them was slightly rocky?

‪Bronan: That’ll be the one

Faustus: Yeah

Faustus: Boot it to there.

Constance: WE HAVE TO GET TO HIGHER GROUND!

DM: Right

DM: As you arrive panting at the tops of the hill, below you…the ground churns

DM: And seems to collapse on itself partially under the grave you dug

Constance: Well that was a waste of digging.

DM: Then below each camel…

‪Bronan: Dear God, it’s sandworms

‪Bronan: Do I see anything that I could throw a javelin at?

Faustus: Hold on

Faustus: Are they attacking us?

Faustus: Is the ground immediately below us doing anything?

DM: They are not attacking you, but two purple worms burst from the ground and start eating the camels, one at a time

DM: The ground below you is still

Faustus: Let’s… hold off for now?

DM: Bronan can you roll a nature check

Faustus: No point attacking if they are distracted by their meal that isn’t us

‪Bronan: Sure, one sec

‪Bronan: Welp, I got a natty 1

DM: Bronan, it’s a big worm! Waaaah, two big worms!

‪Bronan: Can I use Faustus’s dice?

‪Bronan: Worm!! Must protect friends

DM: Faustus has asked you to maybe not attack it straight away

Faustus: Yeah I put a hand on his javelin. “Hold on my friend”

Bronan: You must run, the worms will kill us all

‪Bronan: I hold them off

Faustus: “Let us see what they do. Running will surely draw them to us”

Faustus: “Quiet now. No movements”

Bronan: Ok, but promise me, you run if they attack

DM: Each worm is about 80ft long

Faustus: I promise.

DM: And perhaps 5-10ft wide

Faustus: I pick up Sir Dribbles

Faustus: In case we need to run. I realise that read like I was planning to throw him.

DM: Hahaha

Bronan: It’s OK man. He was in my loincloth though…

DM: They have almost finished with the camels now

‪Bronan: He’s like a handbag dog,

Faustus: Well. Then I don’t. I thought he was on the ground.

‪Bronan: And before it gets weird, my loincloth has pouches

‪Bronan: I hand him to you anyway

Faustus: Cool.

‪Bronan: “take him to safety”

Faustus: Everyone quiet, but be ready to run.

DM: You are all standing quietly?

DM: They finish the camels circle the remnants of the wagon, then go underground

DM: You can’t feel anything below you

DM: After a minute, you still can’t. Everything seems still

Faustus: Let’s give it a decent stretch of time…

Faustus: An hour of not moving? No rumbling in the distance, disturbed sand etc?

Bronan: Sir dribbles snorts, a snot bubble threatening to burst, before retreating into his snout

DM: An hour?

DM: Yeah after an hour you don’t detect any movement or feel any rumbling

Faustus: What do you guys think? Safe to move back towards Rib Gulch?

Constance: I think so. So much for a respectful burial

Faustus: Well we tried.

Faustus: Circle of life. They’re worm food now. Just very big worms.

Bronan: Let’s get out of here before they come back

Faustus: Yup

DM: Okay guys

DM: It will take you five days, but you can make it back to Al’shash without incident after that. The walking is hard on the shifting sands after you pass rib gulch, but you see no more worms

Bronan: Cool, I’m guessing sir dribbles returns to his pouch along the journey

Faustus: Yeah I gave him back as soon as we were clear

Bronan: Cool, I guess I don’t use my drum until we’re well clear of the desert

Faustus: Haha yeah

DM: Ha

DM: Well Al’shash is a wee town, two main streets. One inn, The Harbour

Faustus: Any shops or whatnot?

DM: A small guard station, one larger house (the mayor’s) and a few dozen other buildings- traders, houses

DM: Two general traders, one blacksmith, one stables

Faustus: Any of the traders selling shields?

Constance: To the inn? See if anyone knows anything about our employer?

DM: Yeah

DM: All the stuff in PhB basic equipment list is available for listed price

DM: At Albo’s Discount Hardware Store

Faustus: Cool. I go in, ask for a fine shield and lay down 10 gp

Faustus: Are we worrying about rations and the like?

Faustus: Wait

Faustus: Scratch that. I should have started with one and I just didn’t realise.

Faustus: So I’ve had a shield on my back the whole time.

Faustus: Pobodys nerfect

Constance: Can I get a couple of flasks of oil. A set of manacles (Jamsi will not happen again). And a hunting trap.

Constance: Which is a total of 72 gp

DM: Yeah yeah

DM: All good

DM: Don’t stress rations unless planning an epic desert trek

Faustus: Grande.

Constance: Also, hypothetically. If I were to coat the darts I have in this potent poison we found. 1. Would they remain poisoned till use, 2. Would that expend all this poison.

DM: Yes and yes

Constance: I do that.

DM: Cool

DM: Dunes in every direction from the town, one road leaving- to the east

DM: An oasis in the centre with Palm trees and a pool of water

DM: Your contact was set to at a table in the back of the inn, the Harbour, last time you saw him

DM: After visiting the shops it is maybe noon now

Faustus: Remembering my shield, it’s holy symbol looks like this: 

DM: That is baller

DM: You guys heading to the pub? Or want to look for another trader etc?

DM: You notice more guards in town than last time. There are no town walls, but a couple of guards at the end of each road, and a couple patrolling. All have scimitars, leather armour, and white turbans. They wear the blue gloves of the Al’shash guard

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 7 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 5 – Dog Cheese

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: As you reach the top level of the tomb and look out into the night, you know hour immediate task will be to retrace your steps to Al’shash and meet the secretive trader. It will take you at least five days of travel

Faustus: Fuck we probably should have asked about the gem too

‪Bronan: Head back downstairs and ask?

Faustus: Eh.

Faustus: Sure actually.

DM: Hahaha

DM: What you go back down and down into the lowest secret chamber? Hunter and his hyena are still there by the campfire

DM: Forget something hunters?

DM: Come to seek my knowledge in slaying a foe?

Faustus: Yeah I think so. I’m just a little wary of handing the gem over to a random dude if it’s world endingly powerful.

Faustus: Yes hunter, we also found this gem. Can you tell us about it?

DM: His eyes go hard

DM: Stealing, are you?

DM: Desecrating Hunter Ptonos’s tomb?!

DM: Get out before I show you what my spear can do. There is honour in the hunt. See if you can redeem yourself in my eyes. Hunter is disappointed in you, initiate

Faustus: Haha ok. Balls.

Faustus: That was all out of character.

Faustus: I bow and leave again.

‪Bronan: I thought he might get prissy, at least I didn’t offer him the withered head of Ptonos

DM: Ha.

DM: Okay.

Faustus: Haha yeah I did think that might happen. Ah well.

Bronan: If you don’t ask, you don’t get (murdered by a one armed gnoll)

DM: What is your plan? Through the plains and the gulch and the desert to Al’shash? Off to the mysterious smoke a few miles north?

DM: Or further across the red grass plains west or south, and the unknown?

Constance: Look guys, this thing is clearly more valuable than the cash that wizard a-hole was going to give us. Maybe we try to find another buyer?

‪Bronan: Bronan does not care much for money, just want to keep you guys happy, should we go look at smoke for now? Maybe find purple worm?

Faustus: Shall we do that now? Then if it’s all fairly low key we can rest for the night and figure out our next step.

Constance: Sure. The smoke may just be a campfire, or something more sinister.

DM: You are heading for the smoke? It is a few miles off, will probably take an hour walking. Torches lit or unlit?

Constance: It’s day now right?

DM: Nope. You reached the tomb as night fell, and were in there for maybe 3 hours? It’s the middle of the night

DM: Starlight and three crescent moons above, no clouds in the sky. You can still make out that thin trail of smoke to the north easily enough

Faustus: So light enough for us to see our way? I guess no torches then?

Constance: I extinguish my torch. “Don’t worry gents, we can still see our way” and pull out my crystal which flows in moonlight.

DM: Light enough to see the way

DM: Constance, what crystal?

Bronan: Nice

‪Bronan: “hey constance, that’s a cool crystal, would be great at an outdoor tribal rave”

‪Bronan: Can you get ones in different colours?

Constance: I’m not sure. I just have this one.

‪Bronan: Ok, nevermind, should we be sneaky like dogmen to get to smoke?

Faustus: Sure. Well, we don’t need to be sneaky, just not bright and loud from miles away.

Constance: I would say we are fine right now, but let’s err on the sneaky side when we get closer, at least until we can work out what’s going on there

Faustus: Agreed

‪Bronan: Ok no worries bros, just let me know

DM: Okay, after an hour or so you are maybe 600 yards from the smoke, which is rising across a small hill

DM: What do you do

Faustus: Slowly move up to get a better look, trying to remain hidden

DM: Okay. You can all stealthily make it to the lip of the hill

Constance: Pocket my glowing crystal for the time being.

DM: Below you is a scene of destruction

DM: A dozen dead camels, and two dead human traders

DM: The smoke is coming from a covered wagon which has been set ablaze from below and is now a smouldering ruin

Faustus: Any immediate signs of danger or of how long ago this happened?

DM: You saw the smoke rising hours ago, before sunset- it’s now almost dawn

DM: No sign of life or movement except the flame

Constance: Damn.

Constance: Is this on a road? Or an encampment?

DM: Just open plains

DM: This bit is between two small hills…ideal to ambush traders, perhaps

Constance: Let’s skirt around to the other hill to check there is no danger, then we can see if we can’t find out what happened here, and give these gentlemen the burial they didn’t get.

Constance: Then give the perpetrators the burial they deserve.

Faustus: Agreed on both counts

DM: Sounds good

DM: You swiftly circle to the other hill but there is no movement or life, though some grass up there is trampled as if a group of people or creatures was lying on it

Faustus: Any tracks around to indicate a direction of travel?

DM: Can roll perception for me? Or investigation

Constance: Or any indication as to the size of the creatures and how many?

DM: Same, make roll of what you think appropriate skill is

Faustus: 3

DM: Can’t tell. Maybe if you looked again when it was light

‪Bronan: I see him fumbling in the dirt and say “no,no,no, Faustus, tracking means you do this…”

‪Bronan: Can I use survival? I think it’s the same as my perception but want to do that whole due south mounty thing

DM: Sure thing

Constance: 15 + (if wis then 2 if int then 0) I was rolling investigation

‪Bronan: I got a 11+3, 14

DM: Bronan, there are no tracks aside from your own on the hill, except this area where clearly something was lying

DM: Constance, you find a feather half buried in the dirt and red grass where the ambushers waited

Constance: “Look a feather”

Bronan: “hmm, don’t think they walked out of here, either that or they’re sneaky”

‪Bronan: Birdmen!

‪Bronan: Have I read a comic about birdmen?

DM: History check

‪Bronan: I got a 2

DM: You read a comic about birdmen! But it had a sexy barbarian in it and that’s the only bit you remember

‪Bronan: Bronan wistfully looks into the dawning sun, sighs, and rearranges his loincloth before saying “we had better go bury those guys then huh?”

DM: In the time it’s taken you to check tracks etc, it’s now just about sunrise

DM: You guys are pretty tired, you’ve been up all night!

Bronan: Take a rest first guys?

DM: (a short rest would let you use hit dice to heal and mean Sun was up for investigation of caravan)

Constance: Yeah let’s do that, I’m not keen to sleep here, it’s difficult to defend and surrounded by dead things.

‪Bronan: During the rest, Bronan breaks out his small drum and does the beat for nanananam duh duh dih-duhduh

‪Bronan: (the one they used for the bnbn adverts)

Constance: I rolled 2 on hit dice putting me up to full (10)

DM: Cool , you can all heal by one hit dice and rages spells etc reset as they go

Bronan: I got more than enough to bring me to full, a 6

Faustus: My two things reset after a long rest. Womp womp.

‪Bronan: Rage does too, we had one before going into the tomb? If so I have a rage in the chamber, if not then no rage will be had this day

Faustus: Yeah we did

Constance: I don’t have anything like that, during the hour we rest I give the amulet to one of the guys

Constance: “Here, my jaw hurts too much from this thing”

Faustus: I’m happy to take it but not wear it?

Constance: Well we know what it does now

‪Bronan: Hmm, Bronan would like to be able to cool beer down quick, and finds world funny, Bronan happy to wear if no-one wants

Faustus: Go for it

‪Bronan: Ok, can I use my inspiration to get advantage on the wis save?

DM: Yes!

‪Bronan: 12 and a 14, so 14 it is!

DM: Oof

DM: You start laughing

Constance: Damnit

DM: By the end of a short rest, it has died down to the occasional giggle. You can now cast Ray of frost, but it makes you laugh when you do

Bronan: Awesome, I am most likely only going to use it for beer

DM: Yup, superb

DM: Now that the sun has risen fully, it starts to get hot

‪Bronan: But everyone likes a nice cool glass 🙂

DM: And you can see the scene more clearly

Constance: Yo. Bronan. Hit us up with some ice cold brewskis to start the day right.

DM: There are a couple of broken arrows sticking out of the camels, though many many wounds on each creature

DM: The two men have also been slain by arrows

DM: The cart fire is now almost out

Constance: I’d like to take a look at the other wounds on the camels please

‪Bronan: Of course, where’s the cookpot? Bronan pours ale into the cook pot, and Ray of if frosts the ale

DM: Investigation please constance!

DM: Bronan, you can easily start a cookfire from the smouldering caravan pieces

Bronan: Ok, I do that and start making breakfast to go along with the ice cold ale

DM: Uh oh

DM: Can you roll intelligence for me bronan?

Constance: 16!

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles gets all excited when I get out the cheese, so I break him off a piece

‪Bronan: Ah crap, noone has heard of barbarian scholars!

DM: Constance, these are clearly arrow wounds as well, but the arrows have been removed. Only the broken arrows remain

‪Bronan: Ah yeeeess, got an 18-1, 17

Constance: You realise it’s not good to give dogs cheese, it gives them dog nightmares.

Faustus: Can I have a look for tracks in the daylight?

DM: Is that true? Out of game?

Constance: Fucked if I know mate

DM: Bronan you almost freeze the first beer solid, but since it is beer you are paying very close attention and save it in time

Bronan: My friend feeds her dog cheese all the time

DM: Faustus sure thing

Faustus: 19

Bronan: Awesome, does it count as practice (advantage) for the next beer chilling?

DM: There are no tracks leading away from the caravan in any direction, but some interesting tracks around the camels, the cart, and the bodies of the men…talons marks!

DM: Bronan I think it’s fair to say you are now proficient in chilling beers

‪Bronan: Sweeet

‪Bronan: He knows that salt water and ice trick and stuff

DM: Salt water and ice trick? Don’t feed dogs cheese?!

DM: Faustus, based on the feather Constance found and the talons marks you found and the lack of tracks on the ground anywhere but the kill site and the ambush hide, you think…

Constance: (OOC I fucking know)

Bronan: (it’s fucking harries right?)

‪Bronan: Harpies

DM: Can roll me a nature or history check if you guys have shared all the info between yourselves, which I think you would

Bronan: Or a shit load of English princes

Faustus: Yeah we share

Faustus: Nat 20

DM: Right

DM: Based on the lack of ground tracks and talons marks, some sort of bird thing. But, harpies wouldn’t use arrows or ambush, they’d shred stuff. Also the ambush tactics and the retrieval of the arrows…

DM: In this part of the great desert?

DM: At THIS latitude?

DM: You think Aaracokra bandits. You’ve heard rumours of a group called the Blessed Wind who have been assigned blame to all sorts of shady stuff, west and east of the obsidian shard wall

DM: Ambush tactics, resource preservation, it all fits

Faustus: Well.

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 6 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

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