So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 42, find it here!

 

DM: As they attempt to strike, the other four from the other side of the cloud appear at its edge having used their turn to move around it

DM: The lion alpha roars

DM: (those hits were for five and seven respectively if they landed)

Faustus: Ac with shield is 18

DM: Well fuck

DM: Constance, you are up if that 29 slashing didn’t put you down

Constance: It did not! (Just)

Constance: Although if I get hit again I most certainly will.

Constance: How many of these fucks are left?

DM: Of the 15 lions?

Constance: Yup

DM: 13

Constance: Well then shit.

DM: Bronan smashed one, faustus javelined one

Constance: I am going to use a ki point to use patient defence (which gives me dodge as a bonus action) then I’m going to use my healers kit to medicine check bronan.

DM: Oooh

Constance: So he should be stable.

DM: So that is autostabilised?

DM: Sure sure

DM: How does dodge work?

Constance: And attackers have disadvantage till the start of my next turn

DM: Okay super

DM: That you?

DM: In which case, faustus…

Constance: Fucking fending off cats while I bandage your shit up

DM: Not cats

DM: Can’t emphasise this enough

DM: Lions

Faustus: I’m going to cleave into one of the lions on me

Faustus: 22 to hit

Faustus: And I’m gonna make it a divine smite.

Faustus: 10 slashing damage. 6 radiant. Big light show.

DM: Booom. It takes a big hit from your longsword and staggers back, bloodied and howling in pain

DM: Anything else?

Faustus: Nope.

DM: Okay

DM: Bronan

DM: Your turn

DM: I think you can just lie very still

‪Bronan: I’m stable but unconscious, so just happily sleeping

Constance: Damn I forgot you would be unconscious

Constance: (Adam you have some healing magicks right?!)

Faustus: (Yes. Assuming I don’t die)

DM: Well

DM: Its the lions turn

DM: Six lions at Constance will go first, trying to kill Constance. Disadvantage due to dodge?

‪Bronan: (I used to have hatred in my heart for only one monster,  Merrow, now I’m adding lions)

Constance: Yup disadvantage

DM: Well

DM: Only two of six manage to hit you

DM: 18 slashing…

DM: (d6+3 for each claw…)

Constance: Yeah I’m down

DM: Constance and bronan lie on the sand, pumping blood into the arid air

DM: Faustus stands alone, sword in hand, shield shining with its sigil of bahamut against a seemingly unstoppable force. 7 lions face him. One, their leader, is abjured, struck with a holy fear if the hulking dragonborn before it

DM: The other six…three strike with their teeth bared!

DM: They all strike true, one of them critting

DM: 24 piercing damage

DM: The other three have moved around and attack with flying sprints, pouncing forward, claws slicing through the air

DM: Two of them hit, one of them crits…

DM: 22 slashing damage and two strength saving throws please Faustus

DM: (Constance how down are you?)

Constance: That last one took me to negative 16

DM: Okay, right

Constance: Well balls

DM: Sir dribbles barks furiously on the deck of the wrecked airship

DM: Constance and Bronan lay writhing from countless wounds, surrounded

DM: And Faustus takes some heavy hits, the lions striving to drive the paladin to the ground

DM: (also hate to say it but if you are at -16 Constance, at least one of those hits was when you were already down, so you are at 2 failed death saves)

Constance: Yeah I had 2 HP left

Constance: Balls

Constance: (Can we have a side story like homeward bound where sir dribbles befriends one of the cats and finds his way back to civilisation)

DM: (depends how the next few rounds go- but what, arc 2 we each have lion stat blocks and one dog stat block and we have to cross the desert?!)

Constance: Hahahah. No but I would watch that movie

DM: (i feel bad, I think Faustus is hungover and is going to wake up to 22 slashing damage and two strength saving throws as 6 lions try and rip him to shreds)

DM: (well, 12 lions)

‪Bronan: (I spent entirely too long trying to come up with a tag line for the movie, again, sorry guys, like the kid who microwaved a pot noodle, I fucked up big-time)

‪Bronan: (broooooonnnaaaaann jenkins)

DM: (blame David Attenborough, planet earth 2 on Sunday had some wicked desert lions and I thought, ooh, this will incentivise them to fix this airship faster! Forgot about poor old Besh)

Constance: (DAMNIT ATTENBOROUGH YOU WIN AGAIN!)

DM: (you aren’t dead yet! Let’s see what Faustus can pull off. If he isn’t pinned beneath two lions)

‪Bronan: (holy shit,  planet earth 2? I haven’t even finished the first one!)

DM: (just started a couple of weeks ago, Sunday’s on BBC. Very good. And to blame for this potential TPK)

Faustus: Nat 20 and a 21

DM: Okay you are still on your feet

DM: Constance.  Death saving throw.

DM: All comes down to this dice roll for our little halfling monk

Constance: Fuuuuuuuck

Constance: Ok. Is everyone prepared

Constance: Oh boys.

Constance: Oh my boys.

‪Bronan: (please be nat20)

Constance: Shit. 8.

DM: Constance, as you lay in the sand bleeding, you feel the hot breath of a lion as its mouth covers your neck. As it squeezes and darkness envelops you, the last thing you see is the staff of Ptonos, inscrutable runes glowing faintly. And then you see nothing at all

DM: Ha

DM: Faustus it is your turn

DM: No idea how your health is looking, but you are surrounded by lions

DM: 6 of them, the leader is ten foot back prowling nervously

DM: Two of the six are those you burned previously, and one has been burned+ taken a big hit from your holy sword and seems near to death

DM: 10ft to the side of the ship. Maybe thirtyish ft to the rope? But that is through a heap of lions

Faustus: Right. Can I get to the leader? Or will I take attacks on the way?

DM: You will take attacks on the way

DM: At least six…

DM: Unless you can walk me through how you get to him. I’m open to it, but you are literally surrounded by lions

Faustus: Right.

Faustus: Faustus can’t see a way of winning this. So

Faustus: First I use lay on hands on myself. Hardly the time for that but still.

Faustus: So I heal 20 hp.

DM: (so what’s your HP total now?)

Faustus: 34

DM: The divine essence of bahamut seals the worst if your wounds, and you feel strength restore to your tired limbs

Faustus: Then I’m going to try to push through the lions and make it to the rope and back up the ship.

DM: Okay man. It is just around the corner of the ship

Faustus: Shit, forgot it was on the other side! Yes. How far is that?

DM: Thirty feet I’d say. Maybe 25 if the rope is trailing

DM: I’d say you can reach it

Faustus: OK

Faustus: Yes. So what, 8 opportunity attacks?

DM: But you will take opportunity attacks from the six lions around you, and those two at the corner

DM: So 8

Faustus: OK.

DM: So let’s start with the six by you

DM: Five of those hit you

DM: Thirty slashing

Faustus: Buuttz

Faustus: 5/6 hit over 18! Jesus.

Faustus: God damn

Constance: Fucking lions

DM: You are still standing I believe?

Faustus: Yep

DM: So you make it through, getting just shreeeeded

DM: And the last two lions between you and the rope attack

DM: First one misses! 17 and a 7

DM: Second one

DM: 19

DM: It sinks its teeth in

Faustus: And does 3 damage right?

DM: And does 7

Faustus: Welp! That went as well as could be expected.

DM: Just as you are past it, reaching the rope, it leaps on your back and crunches into the back of your neck

DM: Bronan, your eyelids flutter, but you feel nothing as they pull you apart

DM: Faustus, in your minds eye a great silver dragon roars

DM: And above the feasting lions, a small dog stands alone, silent, unsure and alone and afraid

DM: Thank you for playing season 1 of The Cursed Tomb. Good effort lads. But holy shit you done fucked up.

‪Bronan: Ptonos tomb really was cursed,  huh

Constance: Fuck

Constance: I thought at least Faustus would get away

DM: TPK

DM: Game Over

Faustus: He’s so happy.

‪Bronan: Whelp, that was really good fun

Faustus: Yup.

DM: Absolutely

DM: (and let’s leave the fate of sir dribbles as a nice question mark)

 

DM: Well, reflections. You successfully raided Ptonos’s tomb, fled to the capital to take stock and discovered that the mayor of Al’sash is seeking magical implements of great power

DM: So you returned and allied with the crime boss Melbos, who said he would aid you if you wiped out some aaracokra bandits

DM: Turns out the aaracokra were just defending their lands, and had in fact rescued a wild sorceress of great power called Melody who the mayor had kidnapped

DM: You went on the the pirate port Fort Last, rescuing a flower farmer en route

DM: And when there convinced mad pirate captain Varratim to aid you in defeating the mayor

DM: So you returned to al’sash, and arranged to meet the mayor, and turned the gem he had hired you to steal from Ptonos’s tomb on him, destroying his forces in a huge tsunami

DM: Meanwhile, melbos abandoned you to take over al’sash

DM: You returned to port last, and then up to the aaracokra homeland where you all celebrated your victory

DM: And then decided to seek out the mayor’s treasure airship, crashed months before in the deep south desert!

DM: You braved gnoll attacks, blistering sun, a vicious sandstorm, and a cursed oasis, before finding the treasure and defeating its guardians

DM: But a rash act of vengeance by bronan on a pride of lions who are your faithful camel led to an early demise

DM: What were the runes on Constance’s staff? How did this airship work? What treasure was hidden within? How fare the folk of al’sash? The world continues to turn, as lions lick their lips and pick the meat from your bones

 

Thanks for reading The Cursed Tomb! It ended fairly inauspiciously. Hopefully we will return to the desert one day!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 41, find it here!

 

DM: Okay you flip onto the sand, into the pack, and are next to bronan. a lion is currently gnawing on him and dozens others batting in with their claws

DM: What exactly are you doing?!

DM: Bronan, should have said, make me an opportunity attack for this round, as lions have been shifting away from you to make room

‪Bronan: Ok cool, it’s at disadvantage cause I’m prone right?

‪Bronan: 11

DM: Nah, this would have happened pre-proning I just forgot

DM: And Constance, boy am I intrigued

‪Bronan: Ah ok, the first was a 23

Constance: Do I have hold of bronan?

DM: Bronan can you roll damage for me?

DM: Constance, you are there next to him, hands on

‪Bronan: 17 slashing to a general lion, I’ll name him scar, when I am their lion king

DM: Great

DM: Constance. What’s the play

Constance: The play is. As follows. 1. Step of the wind! Disengage as a bonus action. 2. Throw a smoke bomb behind me right in amongst the lions. 3. Use the rest of my movement to get the fuck out of dodge and round the other side of the ship.

DM: (1.Do you have those?2. You can step of the wind as bonus, smoke bomb as main, but you won’t be carrying bronan with you)

‪Bronan: (this could end with Faustus painting a ball to call Wilson and lions prowling below!)

DM: (ha)

DM: (and yeah Constance smokebombs, great, disengage and bail, great- also taking bronan with you, unlikely- but with the smoke he might manage an escape…)

‪Bronan: (If I die, what’s the odds of playing sir dribbles as a doggy warlock?)

Faustus: (What happens if he delays, I jump down and grab Bronan too while he throws smoke bomb? Or can I not do that without getting piled on by lions?

DM: (Bronan, low)

DM: (Faustus, if Constance delays all that until you arrive then you could do that- but between you and bronan you’d take at least half a dozen opportunity attacks getting out of there, probably)

DM: (And this rests on- does Constance have smoke bombs?!)

Constance: Yes! I totally do

Faustus: (Well in that case I reckon Bronan’s best chance at this point is if we delay all Constance’s stuff and I drop down to help?)

Constance: Ok. So I can either throw a smoke bomb as an action this turn, or grab bronan but not both, and in either case step of the wind?

DM: Yes, but step of the wind won’t mean bronan takes no attacks, just you

Constance: Balls.

Faustus: As I understand it, all at once would be us dropping down, my action will be to grab him and run, yours will be to throw the smoke bomb, disengage and run.

Faustus: He and I will take some hits.

Faustus: Also, how long are we going to have to get back up before they get us?

Constance: And the other way would be the same but with you not taking any opportunity attacks

Constance: So bronan isn’t getting out with no opportunity attacks

Constance: So fuck it. I grab bronan and bail the fuck out of there

Constance: Trying to get as far round to the other side of the ship as possible

DM: So no smoke bomb?

Constance: Actually fuck no.

‪Bronan: Bro, save yourself! Pelt em with ranged

DM: Just let me know your final decision

Constance: Ok. So smoke bomb and bail. Yelling for bronan “FOLLOW MY VOICE!”

Constance: Final

Faustus: (So I don’t drop? I can try and help pull folk up I guess)

DM: Well, faustus it is your turn

DM: The lions are enveloped in smoke, and a moment later Constance appears back around the ship

Faustus: Can I see any of them at all?

DM: Twenty foot radius smoke cloud, you can’t see dick

Faustus: Can I ready an action so I throw a javelin at the first lion that follows out of the smoke?

DM: Yup!

DM: Awesome

DM: Bronan

DM: You are up

DM: Lions on every side, and you are blinded by smoke

‪Bronan: Okey koaky,  I know where the ships deck is?

DM: Hm. Yes

Faustus: And the direction of Constance’s voice presumably

‪Bronan: Basically I’m thinking of saving my dog by throwing him up there, so if this goes shitty can I attempt that as a reaction before going unconscious?

‪Bronan: Even if doggywarlock is off the table, at least they will have a dog to carry them through the bleakness of my death

‪Bronan: For my turn, I’m gonna stand up, disengage and follow constance, my reasoning, she just jumped into a pit of lions and might need my help

DM: (by my understanding sir dribbles was up on the deck barking, then you leapt down- so he is currently safe)

‪Bronan: Ok cool, no need for dramatic cutscene

DM: I need to check disengage rules

DM: As you will have to move past 9 lions opportunity attacks!

DM: (what’s your movement speed, standing up from pronetakes 1/2 of it)

‪Bronan: Yup, disengage should stop opportunity attacks caused by my movement for this turn, so I can move 15ft when stood up

DM: Okay

DM: You can make it to the end of the boat but not yet around to the other side-Constance is five ft past you, just around the corner at the end

DM: And then it is the lions…

Faustus: First one out gets a javelin.

DM: Ten lions emerge, three on the far side of the cloud from bronan, 7 on the near side (advantage on perception checks relying on smell..like tracking a bloodied barbarian)

DM: The first lion to emerge is charging bronan- it is the one known as Scar, it’s face half mangled by a hit from Bronan’s axe

Faustus: 24 to hit

DM: Faustus, with lightning reflexes, hurls a javelin

DM: (roll damage)

Faustus: 9 piercing damage

DM: The javelin skewers the running lion, sending it crashing to the sand like a ragdoll

Faustus: Nice. Now do I have the rest of a turn, or did I give up my whole turn to delay that action?

DM: I can’t remember the rules, but I’m happy for you to do your other stuff now

Faustus: Hmm. I’m 15 ft up right?

DM: Yup

Faustus: And Bronan is by the ship?

DM: Aye, as is constance

DM: Bronan is right by the prow, Constance just past him, with ship between Constance and the lions

Faustus: Right. Not a lot I can do other than jump down or try and help up, so I’m gonna throw down a rope and brace myself to help pull folk up.

DM: Tight

DM: The six lions on the bronan/constance side of the cloud attack Bronan (since Constance is behind the ship)

DM: 5 of them hit

DM: Three claws, two bites

DM: 11piercing

DM: 19 slashing

‪Bronan: Ouchy I’m at 0

‪Bronan: As I go down I yell

‪Bronan: Climb you fools!

DM: (when did you hit 0…)

‪Bronan: (I had to re-read the rage rules. But as the lions go after me, they bit me between the turn when I last attacked and disengaged, rage would’ve dropped next then if they hadn’t hit me I think? So half the first is 5, bringing me to 8, the half the second is 8, bringing me to 0)

‪Bronan: (basically their bites keep me angry)

DM: (cool, so you are only just at zero)

DM: Constance, a rope descends from above, hitting the sand next to you. behind you, bronan falls to the ground, bleeding from three dozen wounds, 6 lions standing over him

DM: It is your turn…

Constance: (Awww shit. This is where I need thunderwave)

Constance: Ok. As I look to grab the rope I turn and shout “FAUSTUS, HELP BRONAN!” Then run back towards bronan and get between him and the cats 🐱

Constance: Am I close enough to hit one?

DM: Mate they are about 8 ft from you

DM: Wait are you pulling the rope back with you?

Constance: As in before I ran back?

DM: Yeah

Constance: I’m too panicky for that shit

DM: Bronan was right behind you, cats right on him

DM: Okay man have at

Constance: Whichever one looks closest or most threatening.

Constance: Smash with staff then kick kick

Constance: 18, 14, 11

DM: First two hit

DM: Give me damage

Constance: 12 + 6 bludgeoning

DM: A couple of horrifying thwacks to the lead lion split open its skull, and it howls in pain and bares its fangs

DM: Anything else? If not, faustus

Faustus: Haha OK is that how it is?

‪Bronan: (gonna apologise right now if this ends in a tpk. I fucked up, saw Besh was dead and did something hella dumb)

DM: 6 lions over bronans unconscious form, Constance swinging away at them. another 8 lions are somewhere amongst the smog cloud/far side of the cloud. Rope is tied off…faustus, your move

Faustus: OK. Any of the lions look bigger than the others and more alpha like?

DM: Nature check!

DM: (man this has snowballed a fair amount!)

Faustus: Nat 20

DM: Okay. Emerging from the smoke cloud, maybe fifteen feet from the current scuffle, is a male lion. Slightly larger/ older than the rest. Thick scars along its side are lounge healed, and its mane is a tangled mat. this is the big boy, the boss

DM: Fautus. Your move (nature check is free!)

Faustus: How far away from me is he?

DM: 15ft down, maybe another 10ft out

Faustus: OK, so he’s not within 10 feet from me? Vow of enmity is someone I can see within 10 feet.

DM: Man he is ten ft out, but fifteen down from the deck

Faustus: No no, I thought so.

Faustus: OK I jump down, so I’m 10ft in front of him, athletics?

Faustus: Which is a non-natural 20

Faustus: Then I hold out my shield towards him, casting abjure enemy and roaring while I do it.

DM: Jesus Christ

DM: You land safely

DM: What the hell does abjure enemy do

Faustus: Oh fuck, I forgot it’s a bonus so I’ll end with it.

DM: Okay

Faustus: Wait, did we rest after the gnolls fight?

DM: Yeah I think so

Faustus: OK then I breath fire at him and anyone within a 15ft cone behind him

Constance: (Fuck. Breaking out the big guns. Fuck these lions)

Faustus: DC 12 dex saves for any in that cone, half damage on save

DM: That’s going to be three lions

Faustus: 9 fire damage for failed, 4 for saved

DM: Two save, one fails (boss)

Constance: (Three lions up in flames. Never stop me dreaming)

Faustus: Cool. And after that I hold my shield out with my holy symbol of Bahamut, roar and abjure enemy. Boss has to make a wisdom save.

Faustus: I’ve fucked all that up

Faustus: Sorry. Ignore all that damage.

Faustus: I was reading the info off an app and saw bonus action but it isn’t, vow of enmity is but that’s not the channel divinity I wanted to do.

Faustus: Could I scrap the breath attack, wasn’t what I wanted to do but when I misread abjure enemy I thought I could do both in one go

Faustus: Ah fuck and I wouldn’t have had to jump down because it’s 60ft range!

Faustus: Fucking idiot.

DM: I’ve already recorded breath damage

DM: So for your heroic leap

DM: You can abjure enemy as well

DM: Wisdom save for boss lion?

Faustus: Ah thanks man. Right. Yes.

DM: That’s a fail for sure

Faustus: OK he is frightened of me for 1 minute.

DM: Fuck

DM: Okay

DM: Death saving throw bronan

‪Bronan: 13

DM: Still alive…

DM: Lions turn…

‪Bronan: Still alive. Fur now…

DM: Right

DM: Let’s start with the 6 surrounding Constance and bronan

DM: Constance- what is your AC

Constance: 16

DM: Okay four hit

DM: One crits

‪Bronan: (someone queue up needle in the hay by elliot Smith)

DM: 29 slashing damage

DM: Faustus, the frightened one paces back and fore, too afraid to approach

DM: From the smoke behind it two lions leap forward

DM: 15 or 17 hit you? One claws one bite

DM: As they attempt to strike, the other four from the other side of the cloud appear at its edge having used their turn to move around it

DM: The lion alpha roars

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 43, the finale of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 40, find it here!

 

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

‪Bronan: As I’m moving bodies, I’ll keep an eye out for some keys in case they have a set

DM: Aha!

DM: Investigation!

‪Bronan: (I also want to look for any other shinys that may be on their remains, especially a shiny snorlax card)

‪Bronan: I got 11

DM: You find a sealed letter on the man in the cabin, assorted daggers etc, about thirty gold pieces

DM: And a six keys. 2 are the same, the others assorted

‪Bronan: I’ll show the party those when I’m done body clearing 🙂

DM: So yeah, bronan has cleared the skeletons- where are they all now?

DM: Constance and faustus thoroughly check the hold, now staring at a hatch that seems to lead…down

Constance: down the hold?

DM: You open the heavy hatch to inky blackness below

DM: Stillness

DM: Heat

DM: A steep metal ringed staircase descends into the darkness

‪Bronan: I would’ve put the skellys off the ship to the side, away from the gnolls

DM: Sure sure

‪Bronan: I’ll light a torch and see what we can see

DM: Perceptiooooooooon

‪Bronan: 18 total

DM: It’s the engine room! Three skeletons lie utterly still, dressed in overalls. Tools lay scattered around them, chisels and hammers. Emerging from the floor, a dome of blue crystal covered in runes sits. A tube with a horn at the end protrudes from one wall. The other walls have: a racy elf calendar; a complex poster with a picture of a blue runed orb; a heavily edited and overlapping shift timetable

DM: I mean. It must be the engine?

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to go with what he knows, and start flicking through the calendar

DM: Great

DM: Give me a perception, with disadvantage if Bronan fancies elves

‪Bronan: Errm I dunno, I kinda figure he’s into most things, Bro tribe rules is any hole’s a goal

‪Bronan: Got a 16, and a 15, so 15, Bronan wise, Bronan strong, Bronan look at nudes all day long

DM: As you are scanning the pictures, you realise this calendar is on the wrong day! It’s set to about…150 days ago

‪Bronan: (after a long time of looking at the pictures) I think date wrong it’s [insert correct date] not [correct date-150 days] right?  also Bronan have keys, we open boxes? Search mechanic skeletons?

‪Bronan: I search the skeletons in the engine room then put them with the others

DM: Investigation check

DM: You find nothing of note those skeletons, and can haul them to where you store the others

DM: You are left on a ship free of skeletons, full of mysteries

‪Bronan: Can I try some of the keys on the locked crates? (unless people want to leave me be?)

Constance: Ok. So situation. We are in the engine room. Big blue runed ball thing. Calendar marked to 150 days ago. Complex poster. Shift time table. Big horn tube thing.  We have a bunch of keys. Right?

DM: Yup

Constance: Ok. I want to go check out the poster and kind of compare it to the big blue orb thingy.

DM: Sure, arcana check for me please

Constance: Ugh. Five

DM: This is a big fuckin magic ball, eh

Constance: well shiz

DM: Uh huh

‪Bronan: (I really want Bronan to have a go just in case, would that be cool? He technically has 2 rituals and a proud shamanic tradition)

DM: (but of course)

‪Bronan: Nope, I got a 3

Constance: ha

Constance: Faustus! You know about complex magicks right?

‪Bronan: I think there are tiny wizards inside, maybe they hungry?

‪Bronan: (Bronan needs a brocade loincloth)

Constance: (oh yeah, ill use inspiration to give Faustus advantage on his Intelligence and Charisma rolls for tomorrow)

‪DM: Constance and bronan are in the hold. faustus is in the engine room. none of you seem to know what you are doing, and I think it’s early afternoon

‪Bronan: I’ll make lunch for people while sir dribbles browses the smut

DM: Passive perception checks

DM: Puhlease

‪Bronan: My passive is 14

Constance: Mine is 12

Faustus: 10

DM: Bronan, you hear a noise from outside somewhere. Not on the ship, somewhere below on the sands nearby. It sounds like a dry piece of wood being snapped

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan think Besh got loose, we should go check

‪Bronan: (and then he goes and looks outside)

DM: You very quickly realise what the sound is

‪Bronan: (please not skeletons)

DM: It was the sound of Besh’s neck snapping as a desert lion killed her. There are at least fifteen of them. Five clustered around Besh, five crunching the skeleton bones, and another five nervously sniffing the gnoll remains

DM: Your supplies and food and water are being pawed at vigorously

‪Bronan: (oh crap, that’s worse)

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles begins Barking at the large cats and seems to be going into pug rage, Bronan realises this and follows suit, raging and trying to charge at the nearest lion yelling bad kitties kill Besh, Bronan smaaaassssh

DM: (the lions are on the desert floor, you are fifteen foot up on the ships deck

‪Bronan: (yup, gonna jump it)

Faustus: Fuck!

‪Bronan: I should have enough movement to get to em

‪Bronan: (I hope!)

DM: Yeah, from 15ft up? Acrobatics check please

DM: And you can have a surprise round (I’m certainly surprised) of attacks then we will do initiative

‪Bronan: 18 total

‪Bronan: (Bronan has been chatting to Besh every day, they’re friends so he wants to get revenge)

DM: Okay, no damage from the flying leap. straight at the five munching on beau/your supplies?

‪Bronan: Yup. Getting all up in them pussycats

‪Bronan: I’m gonna give these cats some beers, and by that I mean smash them with the crushed beerkeg that is my axe, 22 to hit

DM: That hits the first lion

‪Bronan: 14 slashing

‪Bronan: And that’s my turn:) they’re going to nibble me next I guess

DM: All roll initiative

Faustus: Hahaha

Faustus: Right, I got a 2 for initiative.

‪Bronan: 20 #dicerolleroffire

Constance: 10 for initiative

DM: Bronan I need your roll with mods, apparently…

DM: I’m guessing it will be 3 though, in which case it is your turn again!

‪Bronan: My dex is +2

DM: So, to paint a picture. Bronan stands raging over a wounded lion, his axe bloodied, roaring with rage

DM: And fifteen lions roar back

DM: You can go first bronan

‪Bronan: (oh fiddlesticks, 15 lions may just be enough to action economy me down)

Constance: Action economy?

DM: (i mean…action economy?! There are fifteen of them. they are fucking lions man. You have made your choice…)

‪Bronan: (number of actions like attacks per turn, I thought there was 5, but happy to lie in this bed, Bronan smash)

‪Bronan: I try to smash the wounded lion to death

‪Bronan: 15 to hit

DM: Great, that hits

‪Bronan: My ac is 15 btw

DM: (i just checked, I said fifteen. Also thanks for AC, that will speed things

‪Bronan: 16 damage for that little kitty

‪Bronan: It’s cool, Bronan would’ve jumped in anyway

‪Bronan: He a big dumdum

DM: That first lion, the one who had killed Besh, lies slain on the sand

DM: And the rest pounce

DM: The four nearest, three hit you, total of 17 slashing damage

‪Bronan: Ok, is it halved already or want me to halve it?

DM: You half it please

‪Bronan: Cool 🙂

Constance: (Oh good)

DM: Next pack of five try to pounce on you

DM: So they Sprint forward one at a time with claws bared

DM: All five hit you

DM: So

DM: 30 slashing

DM: And make a strength saving throw

‪Bronan: Highest was 25 (natty 20)

DM: You get any below 13?

‪Bronan: Ooh I rolled once with advantage,  got a 13 and a 25, I’ll make 4 more rolls

‪Bronan: (rolls for 4 more anyway!)

‪Bronan: Lowest (given advantage) was an 18

DM: Wow

DM: Okay

‪Bronan: If you want to speed it up, my strength save is a plus 5

DM: As you bat away these pouncing lions you keep to your feet, despite the hideous raking of their claws

DM: And the final five pounce

DM: Four succeed in clawing you (so four str saves again please)

DM: 23 slashing damage

Constance: Meanwhile, in the engine room. “Faustus, do you know where Bronan has got to? And where is that calendar?”

‪Bronan: Got a 12 for one of them, next lowest was a 15

DM: Bronan you are on the floor

DM: Take another 10 piercing as one tries to bit your face off

DM: And now, Constance…

‪Bronan: Cool (current hp is 18 for you at home)

‪Bronan: (13 rather)

Constance: Right. 1. Have I realised that bronan is in trouble?

Constance: 2. How far is he from me?

DM: Yeah this has been possibly the loudest 12 seconds one could imagine

Constance: Oh shit. K.

DM: Bronan, screaming in rage at Besh’s demise, leapt from the ship and attacked and killed a lion. 14 other lions are now circling him, pouncing, roaring. It’s a fucking maelstrom of lions

DM: So you guys I’ll say are on the deck, fifteen feet up

DM: Looking down on a storm of claws and violence

Constance: I’m basically trying to work out if I can get in, grab bronan and get back out in one turn.

‪Bronan: (can I request that for my tombstone? “he died in a fucking maelstrom of lions)

DM: Hahaha

DM: Constance- you could leap down and reach him (with an acrobatics check), and drag him out. But you’d be taking heaps of opportunity attacks on the way out, and need to presumably climb up the ship again (another acrobatics/athletics check). Chuck him a rope and pull?

DM: Just try and picture in your head 14 lions against this beast of a barbarian, fifteen feet below you. How do you extricate him/save the day?

Constance: Would I though! Cause I have a plan!

DM: Feel free

DM: Lions are hungry, and you are a tall halfling

Constance: Ok. I leap down and grab bronan.

Constance: (Tall-ling is the preferred term you fucking racist)

‪Bronan: (if not I’m gonna animal handling these fuckers to make me the alpha and cruise with a pack of lion minions)

DM: Acrobatics check, it’s a fifteen foot drop

Constance: 19 on acrobatics

DM: Okay you flip onto the sand, into the pack, and are next to bronan. a lion is currently gnawing on him and dozens others batting in with their claws

DM: What exactly are you doing?!

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 42, the penultimate part of of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 39, find it here!

 

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

Faustus: Faustus laughs heartily with some effort, still strained from his wounds.

DM: In the light of day, you are acutely aware you slept on a battlefield. All a bit… gooey. Lots of flies already

Constance: So I poked around a little before passing out last night.

‪Bronan: Breakfast done, shall we move the bodies? Sir dribbles needs a clean litterbox

Constance: There is a barred door to the gold in the airship

Constance: Hold

Constance: Not gold

Constance: Well maybe gold

DM: Now it is day you can make out the ship better. it is slightly listed to one side away from you, so you can’t see the deck. You can make out a single mast, but no sails. An anchor line runs off the front by the prow into the sand. And of course the ten foot hole in the bottom of the hold you have seen

‪Bronan: (wish we had some gnome wizards now!)

Constance: So gentlemen. Let’s assume all this gold is behind that door. We have two questions to answer before we go breaking any doors down.

Constance: Question 1: how do we get that much currency out of here?

Constance: And more importantly question 2. What do we do with it?

‪Bronan: Fly ship?

‪Bronan: Bronan and Besh drag gold to pirate town, buy small tavern as investment, called Simply the Besh

‪Bronan: ?

Faustus: Besh is OK right?

Faustus: Also, very good work.

Constance: I mean yes that is a thing we could do Bronan. But what of Melbos? Al’shash

Constance: Also, I’m not certain this ship is repairable

DM: Besh okay

DM: Lots of engine parts in that hold but…you’d have to do some investigation

DM: You’ve only really looked inside at night

DM: But it is day now! What would you like to do?

Constance: Another poke about I suppose

DM: In the hold?

DM: Investigation rolls! Or history, or nature for how long it’s been here/what’s been around. Or arcana for what magic is happening. Basically say what you’d like to do

DM: Or for a poke about, investigation!

Constance: 8 on investigation *sigh*

Faustus: We all doing it?

DM: Doing whatever you like, you tell me!

DM: Constance, heaps of gnoll blood, sand, and smashed crates. Lots of cogs and springs and wires lying about

Constance: I say that

Faustus: I too will investigate

Faustus: 17

DM: Lot of sand

Constance: (Shiiiit monks get boss as fuck at 5th level)

DM: Lot of gnoll blood

DM: Lot of…machine parts that have come out of these crates

DM: Not the engine

‪Bronan: Bronan will stand around holding a battering ram waiting for his buddies to tell him what to hit

‪Bronan: Should we try to explore the rest of ship? Bronan break doors?

Constance: yes perhaps thats a good idea

‪Bronan: Ok. Smash smash, can you or Faustus help?

Constance: whoa whoa, not smashing doors yet, id like to get a better of the state of this ship. If we can’t get it flying all we will do by breaking that door down is invite any tom, dick or drow to come in and pilfer as much as they like!

‪Bronan: Bronan not think we have too much to worry about, drop not like sunshine and not a lot of people named Tom and drow, but ok, you should ask sir dribbles about ship, he used to drive flying by machine with wings, he said it was called a biplane

‪Bronan: (so no engine in the break we have in the hold, just spare parts, how big is this thing? Would it be easy to climb in deck and poke around from the top down rather than bottom up?

‪Bronan: Also, no signs of other bodies around the areas/original crew?)

DM: Deck is maybe twenty foot up, you could maybe climb the anchor chain?

DM: No bodies down here…lots of blood. Gnolls might have eaten anyone down here

Constance: I’ll have a go at climbing up the chain to see what I can see.

DM: Sure, athletics check olease

Constance: 18

DM: You can shimmy up the chain

Constance: To the deck?

DM: Yup. The deck has about a dozen lightly charred skeletons

DM: A wheel, and a deckhouse

Constance: Can I give one of the skeletons a general poke with my stick to make sure it’s inanimate.

DM: Sure!

DM: Investigation?

DM: Or nature

Constance: 5 for investigation

DM: Skeletons!

Constance: Hmm. “HEY GUYS, THERES A BUNCH OF SKELETONS ALL BURNED AND SHIT UP HERE! I’M GOING INTO THE DECKHOUSE!”

‪Bronan: Oooh ooh skeletons, Bronan hear bard tale about skeletons living in a dark house, Bronan want to see

‪Bronan: I got a 16 to shimmy up the chain

‪Bronan: Athletics that is

DM: Bronan and Constance are now on the deck

DM: Surrounded by skeletons

‪Bronan: Faustus, want me to hoist you up? It’s cool up here!

Faustus: Yup!

Constance: I’ll help.

Faustus: Got a Nat 20

DM: Yeah, in whatever cool way you like you are up to the deck

Faustus: 1080° kick flip I think.

DM: So there are maybe twenty skeletons. Leather remnants and sun bleached clothes cover some of them. The deck itself is about six inches deep in sand (presumably from that big storm a couple days back)

Constance: Hahahaha.

DM: Faustus dramatically joins you on deck. The three of you are on the foredeck, by the anchor chain. There are two masts, and a deckhouse at the back (windows obscured by sand)

Constance: I’m going to go over and try to clear a window to peer in.

DM: Peeeeerception

Constance: 4 😞

DM: Dark inside, bright outside

‪Bronan: Oooh that’s the dark dark house where the skeletons live (I try the door, is it locked?)

DM: It’s not

DM: Swings open in your hand as soon as you turn the handle

‪Bronan: What’s inside?

‪Bronan: (sorry if this ends up being a bad decision!)

DM: A wheel, a lot of buttons and ropes and bells

DM: A skeleton cracked in half

‪Bronan: (Is there any writing around the buttons or levers?)  guys there is a load of smart people things in here

Faustus: I go in and help investigate.

DM: Bronan, investigate with advantage

‪Bronan: Oh God, int is my dump stat, buckle up boys

‪Bronan: I got a natty 20, -1 is 19

‪Bronan: Wizards dice roller is helping today!

Constance: im going to stay out on deck and keep a watch out, looking out towards the horizon etc

‪Bronan: (let’s aquilla the shit out of this ship)

DM: (solid reference)

‪Bronan: (it was such a good show, so many unanswered questions about that ship!)

‪Bronan: (Do I find a child’s diary with instructions on what the levers do?)

DM: No

DM: You remember issue 412 of Grognak the barbarian, where he fights the illithids over the monster zoo on the airship

DM: And then flies away

DM: You reckon you know the basic controls. Assuming all ropes etc were in order, you know how to power this bad boy up, how to open the cargo hold doors, etc etc

DM: (we did a very drunken one shot where an illithid had turned a monastery into a monster zoo, and tried to escape on an airship)

Constance: (I died)

‪Bronan: (thats pretty badass!)

‪Bronan: Errm Bronan remember levers, we can open doors if we need. We keep exploring hold of ship? We should bury the skeletons at some point too, away from dead dogmen

Constance: before we go about that. where do we take this?

Constance: this much gold anywhere is going to raise a bunch of question

Faustus: Man I wish we had a bag of holding.

Constance: if we go to the blessed wind, they might help us

Constance: the sand pirates cant be trusted around this much currency

Constance: assuming that there is indeed currency

‪Bronan: Maybe we find treasure first and decide? Maybe bag of hold things in ship. Faustus, don’t all bags hold things?

Constance: fair

‪Bronan: Treasure could be anything, could be child’s laughter

Constance: i hope not

‪Bronan: Bronan hope it’s beer, or gold beer *Slurp from axe flask*

Faustus: Valid point.

‪Bronan: (explore and then pick the safest place -probably our pockets?)

Constance: (I hesitate to ask where the pockets are in that loincloth)

‪Bronan: (some mysteries are better left unsolved)

‪Bronan: So, hatch to see treasure?

DM: Hatch is easily opened

DM: Onto a hold with two skeletons, and about fifty crates…

‪Bronan: What’s in the nearest crate?

DM: You crack the lid- spools of fine silk cloth

DM: About 45 of the crates look like this- fine trade goods

DM: 5 at the back are secured with heavy leather ties, padlocks, and iron bands at their seams

DM: The hold smells if dust and a faint hint of…bone. More skeletons, all lying still

Constance: Everything clear on deck?

DM: Deck seems clear, except the fifteen or so skeletons, and a few inches of sand

DM: So in total perhaps twenty skeletons, five locked chests, forty five chests of trade goods

‪Bronan: Bronan think skeletons need burying or burning quickly to help souls rest.

‪Bronan: (you keep saying my they’re still, and all I can think of is adding “…for now…”)

Faustus: Agreed

DM: Sure what would you like to do?

‪Bronan: Burn skeletons? We can’t really bury them but could we build em a pyre or should we save the wood for repairs?

Constance: I have some oil I believe

DM: How much? Twenty skeletons…

Constance: One flask

‪Bronan: Bones burn. Right? Dried ones?

DM: Nature check!

Constance: (actually very difficult to get rid of human remains, requires a very high heat for a sustained period of time. Even crematoriums require several hours at >200 degrees celcius)

DM: (does Constance know that…)

Constance: (uhhhh maybe?)

‪Bronan: (my character uses his nappies for ac, suspend reality!)

Constance: i am proficient in medicine

‪Bronan: 17 on survival

DM: Could burn them, would take a lot of wood. But they are pretty dry…

DM: Depends on your goal. Destroy bodies? Venerate bodies? Give good funeral, or ensure safety from skellingtons?

DM: If the latter, break them up and chuck them off the ship seems like it might work to you

Constance: i wouldn’t do that

Constance: i mean if we were going to it would be “give good funeral”

‪Bronan: (Yeah, but salt and burn the fuckers too,  I’ve seen supernatural)

Constance: (fuck i love supernatural)

‪Bronan: Its difficult to do something with them without it being a mass grave kinda deal, but we could at least lay them out on the sand and say some words?

DM: It is mid morning now, and the sun is beating down on you relentlessly. Bronan thinks the ship seems in okay repair (sails are lowered and stowed). You have no idea what happened to the crew or what made that hole in the bottom of the ship. You also haven’t yet located the engine

Faustus: Shall we look for that?

DM: Sure. You have time, and easily enough find a hatch in the hold leading down the way. It appears unlocked

DM: In the dim dusty light of the hold, it is utterly silent in the oppressive heat. You’ve got 39 closed crates of presumed trade goods, 5 with banded iron edges and locks. And a hatch going downward

‪Bronan: Bronan is going to be moving skeletons off the shop first in prep for burial rites

Constance: At this point if the coast looks clear from the deck, I’m starting to wonder what’s going on. Gonna go in and get the deets

‪Bronan: Then will rejoin the others

Constance: Is there any evidence of gnolls in the hold?

DM: Investigation!

Constance: Balls. 9

DM: Nothing you can see…they seem to have avoided the upper ship

DM: So bronan is moving skeletons off the ship? Constance looking for gnoll sign? Faustus?

Faustus: Listen at that hatch

DM: Peeeeerception

Faustus: Welp. 8.

Constance: (all the rolls have sucked recently, we are obviously on a cooler)

DM: You hear the shifting sands outside, and what sounds like Bronan chatting (one sided) to a skeleton

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 41 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 38, find it here!

 

DM: The fang of yeenoghu looms over Faustus, screams with rage, and attacks three times. Claw, claw, bite

DM: 12, 12, 22

Faustus: 22 hits

DM: That would be the bite

DM: Make a constitution saving throw

Faustus: Yup

Faustus: Is this poison or disease based con save?

DM: 9 piercing

DM: And yeah, poison

Faustus: Ok, so what does disease actually cover then? Because I have immunity to that but if poison isn’t covered by it am I basically just immune to the flu and maybe VD?

DM: Hm

DM: There are also diseases in game, cackling fever etc

DM: Think it only covers you for monster specific diseases and things specified as diseases. so 9 poison buddy

Faustus: Seems like a bit of a shit ability…

Faustus: Wait, 16 con save

Constance: Yeah there are some pretty grim diseases in the DMG.

DM: Oh okay you are okay for poison

DM: Constance! You are up!

Faustus: Do I still take that damage, or was that just 9 piercing and thats it?

DM: Just piercing

Faustus: Phew

Constance: Right. How fucked is this guy looking?

DM: Wee gnoll by you looks like a good hit would finish him. Covered in blood, one shoulder dislocated, one eye swollen shut

DM: Big lad has only taken one hit, but it was a solid one.still seems pretty full throttle though

Constance: I fuck him up with the staff. I’ve realised these things are pretty fucking evil

Constance: 18 to hit

Constance: And 8 bludgeoning

Constance: Assuming that hits

DM: Yup and yup

Constance: he still standing?

DM: The ankh staff caves in the gnoll’s head

Constance: booyah

DM: And a second rune glows onto the staff

DM: Above the skeletal hand, a new rune- a corpse, with a light shining on it

DM: Bronan you are up

Constance: hold on! im going to tan another healing potion as a bonus action

DM: How many of those do you have?!

Constance: none now

Constance: i had two

Constance: but yeah 9 points of healing

DM: Play

DM: Okay. Bronan, big dog man biting lizard friend. what do?

‪Bronan: Ggaaaarrrg recklessly smash

‪Bronan: 18 to hit

DM: Yeah that does it

‪Bronan: 16 damage

‪Bronan: Yay, it good to smash!

Constance: (jiminy cricket!)

DM: He looks a bit bloodied after that big hit

DM: Faustus, you are up

Faustus: Ok another slash across the stomach this time with my sword, 21 or a 9 to hit

Faustus: Assuming that does, gonna be another divine smite! Lets roll better!

Faustus: 10 slashing and… 8 radiant. That is exactly the same as last time.

DM: Oof

DM: Still standing but that is three very serious hits he has taken

DM: He almost staggers back, but yells ‘Yeenoghu!’

DM: And thrusts forward. Claw claw bite at faustus

Faustus: Mother fucker does not like me one bit

DM: 23, 20,23

Faustus: Haha yeah.

DM: 14 slashing from the claws

DM: 6 piercing from the bite

DM: And a constitution save please

Faustus: 21 save

Faustus: But I’m down

Constance: oh no!

DM: Ha, do you get disadvantage on saves if you are KO?

DM: Also, important- down after claws, or claws and bite?

Faustus: Oh claws. I had 8 hp.

Faustus: Oh so I still save a con

Faustus: But I take more damage?

Constance: yeah basically that last bite is a crit

Constance: actually no

Faustus: Ok so the bite actually just costs me 2 death saves?

Faustus: Jesus

DM: No just 1

Faustus: Oh right. Yeah.

DM: Unconscious and zero hot points are different

DM: But yeah you’ve got one failed

DM: So uh

DM: Constance

DM: Here you go

DM: Shit sorry Faustus

DM: Actually it is an auto crit if you are unconscious, and crit does two failures

DM: Hey constance

Faustus: Haha ok

DM: Your staff has two glowing runs on it

DM: The beast stands over faustus, who lies bleeding from a dozen dozen wounds

Constance: fuck

Constance: (genuine moral dilemma. I’m probably the best option to save faustus, as I have +4 medicine, but if we don’t take this thing down before its next turn then we are likely all dead as I have only 13 HP left, this will literally come down to just a couple of rolls)

Faustus: Hey if you take him out this turn then I can be stabilised much more easily out of combat!

Constance: fuck. ok i have bloodlust

Constance: FAUSTUS NOOOOOOOOOOO

Constance: slow motion run – karate kid style spinning kick and then smash in the chops with the staff

‪Bronan: (Bro Im looking like I’ve had a few pints but Bronan is totally still tanking)

Constance: Not a good start

Constance: BUUUUUUT

‪Bronan: (and I have a healers kit so I can pick you both up)

Constance: Halfling lucky!

Constance: 20 to hit on the reroll for the kick!

DM: That hits!

Constance: I’m the best at kicking

Constance: I have the best kicks

Constance: I’ve kicked so many times you wouldn’t believe

Constance: you know who cant kick? Yeenoghu

Constance: max damage = 8!

DM: He

DM: Is still standing

DM: Barely up but up

Constance: QUARTERSTAFF SMASH!

Constance: 17 to hit!

DM: (so that kick was your bonus action?)

DM: That hits

Constance: yup

Constance: martial arts bitch

Constance: 6 damage

DM: He is still alive! Stumbles to a knee

DM: And vomits black blood

DM: Bronan I think it is you?

Constance: KILL IT!

DM: Kill the gnoll, save the world. Or save your pal. Or run away

‪Bronan: Hmm I’m raging, I glance at Faustus and yell at the top of my lungs, foam flying everywhere as I recklessly attack

DM: Super

‪Bronan: 22 to hit

DM: That’ll do it

‪Bronan: 15, my  virtual d12 is on fire!

DM: As the gnoll reaches forward with the last of its strength to claw out Faustus’s throat, you clobber it with the beers. You can hear it’s jaw snap, and it slides to the ground with a sickening squelch

‪Bronan: (I shake my head) his, Bronan have weird dream of dog people and Faustus friend being hurt

‪Bronan: And you were there Constance. And so was sir dribbles

‪Bronan: Oh dear, it not dream and I’d like to try to stabilise Faustus

DM: Alright. Medicine check

‪Bronan: (I’ve never done this with a healing kit before)

DM: Oh let me check

Constance: it means you dont need to make a check

Constance: 10 uses

DM: Oh really?

DM: Alright faustus

‪Bronan: Wham bam

DM: Pulled from the brink

DM: Roll a d4 please Faustus

Faustus: 3

DM: Faustus will wake up in three or so hours probably

‪Bronan: Constance, we make camp until he wake up? Three hours give Bronan time to make some bread and bacon for tea?

‪Bronan: (Bronan has a make believe cook show that he cohosts with Sir dribbles called forks of faerun in the style of great British bake off)

Constance: yes, we should rest. you look after faustus and Ill check around to ensure that this place is safe

‪Bronan: Ok great, Bronan things he have a pomegranate to make dressing for flathead sandwich

‪Bronan: (i get out sir dribbles and uses the portable ram as a cooking counter while narrating cooking show style to am unconscious Faustus)

DM: (well done guys, you have defeated the airship guardians!)

Constance: (haha fuck)

DM: Constance you are poking about?

Constance: yeah I’d like to investigate around the airship and inside it

DM: You are in what looks to be the engine hold

DM: Aside from that, it seems to be shaped like a standard sailing ship, but the bottom back where you are is full of cogs and spare parts

DM: There is a door to the forward hold that seems barred from the other side

Constance: I’m basically trying to see if there is anything dangerous or interesting

DM: Not in this compartment. Total of six dead gnolls, dead gnoll big fella, dead gnoll shaman

Constance: search the bodies?

Constance: carefully

DM: They have assorted shitty armour. Gnoll shaman has a warped wooden staff and a necklace of teeth

DM: In the back of the hold is a dead cockatrice, that they seem to have been eating for a few days. This whole room stinks of dog and rotting meat and blood. lot of flies

DM: Much nicer out by the fire

Constance: as long as it seems safe, ill head back out to the fire

DM: Okay great

Constance: I’m fucked and broken, I reckon I’ll probably fall asleep

DM: Long rest maybe?

Constance: that is what i was going for

‪Bronan: I’ll keep watch and tend to my wounded peeps after a hearty but heart healthy dinner

DM: Kay

Faustus: I would thank you but I’m unconscious

DM: Deep in the south desert, days and miles from the nearest friendly faces, the shadow of the airship protects you as you sleep through the night. The gnoll corpses, dragged just far away to not offend your senses, are a potent reminder of the danger you face. Inside the airship, the ersatz mayor of al’shash’s offering to the pirates of the coast as he hoped to seal an alliance

DM: Your camel calmly chews red grass and relaxes by the fire.

DM: As the dawn breaks you feel revitalised

DM: A treasure hoard! The only challenge now- breaking into the ship, and figuring out how to get it back to civilisation!

‪Bronan: I wipe the remains of preparing breakfast shakshoukeh off the portable ram and sling it over my shoulder

DM: Brilliant

Faustus: My friends, thank you. I am lucky to have you as allies.

Constance: All for one!

‪Bronan: And all for breakfast?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 40 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 37, find it here!

 

DM: From inside the airship you hear a chorus of howls, and the strange chittering laughter of the gnolls

DM: Bronan, your move. Two singed gnolls by the fire next to faustus, three in front of you and Constance (one of which is badly injured), and three inside up to something

‪Bronan: Bronan splat nearest gnoll, constance got hit they die then I move forward

‪Bronan: 15 to hit

DM: That’ll do it. Nearest gnoll is the injured one

DM: What’s the damage

‪Bronan: A mere 11

DM: The wounded gnoll’s chest is caved in by the hammer

DM: Anything else? If not, Faustus is up

‪Bronan: Yup that’s me

‪Bronan: Done

Faustus: OK faustus closes the distance to the two singed gnolls and strikes at one with his sword

Faustus: Non-natural 20 to hit.

Faustus: 10 slashing damage assuming that hits.

DM: That is enough to slash through one of the singed gnolls thighs , killing it instantly

Faustus: That’ll do me.

DM: The one gnoll next to you throws down its javelin, and tries to rip out your throat with its teeth

DM: 15 to hit

Faustus: Faustus fends him off with his shield.

DM: The two gnolls left by bronan and Constance similarly throw down their weapons and try to bite

DM: 17 Constance, 16 bronan

Constance: 17 hits

‪Bronan: So does the 16, my abs only give me an ac of 15:(

DM: 6 piercing damage each

‪Bronan: Okey koaky

Constance: I’m not looking great

‪Bronan: Mam, I’m on 35 hitpoints and feeling fine, hide behind me

‪Bronan: Man*

‪Bronan: I’m not Irish with oedipal issues

DM: Constance, you are up

DM: From inside the ship you hear a sound like rending flesh

Constance: “THAT DOESNT SOUND GOOD!”

Constance: Then I pop open a potion of healing and down it.

Constance: For 8 points of healing

Constance: Then smash the one nearest me in the noodle with my quarter staff

Constance: 22 to hit

DM: That’ll do it

Constance: 7 bludgeoning

DM: You smash into the gnoll breaking a few of his teeth

DM: You done, or any other kung fu/movement?

Constance: nah i can’t cause its my bonus action that lets me kick people to death and i used that to tan health potion

DM: Grand. Bronan?

‪Bronan: Uuurrrraaaaahhhhggggghhhh

‪Bronan: Bronan smash next gnoll in queue, good at serial processinh

‪Bronan: Processing

‪Bronan: Balls, I got a 7

‪Bronan: Too late to say I’m recklessly attacking I guess

‪Bronan: (sorry constance!)

DM: Eh, you can recklessly attack. You attacking the unwounded gnoll gnashing at you. Or the one Constance is punching teeth out of?

‪Bronan: I’ll go for the closest to her

‪Bronan: So the one she is beating

‪Bronan: Cripes, second was a 14

DM: Woof. Also misses I think. And they have advantage on you next round?

DM: Faustus, your move

‪Bronan: Yup, they gonna get up on me

Faustus: I pull my sword out of the corpse of the gnoll next to me, and bring it down on the other one.

Faustus: 23 to hit

Faustus: And 11 slashing damage as I bring the sword down from his shoulder to his side

DM: Okay, you get your sword right in there. it only stops when it reaches his spine. he slips off your blade onto the hot sand

Faustus: Looking around, how do the others look like they are getting on?

Constance: (Also how many of these fucks at still standing. Lost track)

DM: Currently two gnolls, one injured by Constance, one uninjured in front of bronan

DM: Two more and a shaman disappeared inside, and you’ve since heard some weird noises from in there

DM: Constance looks pretty bloodied, bronan has taken a few knocks

Faustus: Right… I’m going to run to the entrance and poke my head in to see if I can see what is going on.

DM: Oooh

DM: Great

DM: Stealthily?

Faustus: Yes

DM: Roll for it

Faustus: Oof. 5.

DM: You see what must be the gnolls lair, in amongst broken airship engine parts and shattered crates

DM: One gnoll lies dead, eviscerated, in a circle of runes

DM: Next to it, the gnoll shaman is knelt, its body withered, energy channeling from the rune circle and corpse to the creature next to it. As you stumble into view, you see what was once a gnoll footsoldier. The shaman laughs and collapses, dead or dying

DM: And his creation turns to you

DM: A giant monstrous gnoll

Faustus: Butts.

DM: Yup!

DM: I’ll put it with the gnolls in initiative

‪Bronan: Errm, is that freaking yeenogoo?(spelling)

DM: (nah not really. A gnoll empowered with a spark of his essence maybe. Didn’t think anyone would recognise that!)

‪Bronan: (Been reading out of the abyss today in prep for my game)

Constance: (WHAT NOOOOOO!!! Please don’t kill the wiz! I have plans, such beautiful plans!!)

DM: (out of the abyss is soooo lethal)

Constance: (stupid mindflayers)

DM: (our party had a weird TPK so early on its not even funny. we were playing grievous injury rules and grim realism rests. Two martial characters with one leg each, my paladin lost an eye, and our wizard was destroyed by a lava surge)

DM: The gnolls are up!

DM: Constance, your gnoll tries to bite

DM: 17 to hit

Constance: balls

Constance: hits

DM: Oooohkay

DM: 6 damage

DM: Bronan, your gnoll tried to grapple you

‪Bronan: Bahahaha

DM: Gets a 14 for strength, roll your strength!

‪Bronan: It’s a 24 with athletics

‪Bronan: Or 22 with Base strength

DM: Okay you are fine

DM: Faustus, the gnoll Fang of Yeenoghu charges you

DM: It tries twice to rake you with its claws, and once to bite

Faustus: Jesus

DM: 22,22;7

DM: Presuming the two claws hit you

Faustus: Haha OK the claws do, bite no

DM: That’s 15 slashing damage as his distorted claws tear into you

Faustus: Ooffadoofa

DM: Constance, you are up. Injured gnoll in front of you, uninjured gnoll by bronan, the sound of rending metal and scuffling at the airship door

Constance: Crapola

Constance: I’m pissed off now.

Constance: So I’m fucking smashing the fuck out of this gnoll with my quarter staff

Constance: 16 to hit

DM: Hits!

Constance: Boom. Max damage. 12

DM: That gnoll is dead

DM: (Constance am I right in thinking this is the first time you’ve performed the killing blow with your ankh quarterstaff of Ptonos?)

Constance: Woop. Yea.

DM: As the gnoll dies, a gout of black energy surges from its corpse to the staff. a small white rune appears, glowing briefly, on the handle. it appears to be a small skeletal hand

Constance: Ahh! Weird!

Constance: Run over and kick the gnoll currently fighting Bronan in the nuts as a bonus action.

Constance: 22 to hit

Constance: Rolling all the max damage today!

DM: You solidly connect. It whimpers, and seems wounded

DM: Bronan

DM: one gnoll outside, that Constance just kicked in the nuts, currently trying to rip your throat out. In the airship doorway, a hulking figure is cackling manically and pawing at Faustus

Constance: (how far are we from faustus and the airship?)

DM: 15 ft

Constance: oh shit, didn’t realise it was that close

Constance: in that case can I use my last ki point to kick him in the nuts again?

DM: Sure

Constance: 14 to hit

DM: Misses

Constance: balls

‪Bronan: It’s OK, Bronan try to smash gnoll in face and then move up to block big gnoll

‪Bronan: I got a freaking 8, why did I waste a good roll on a strength check!

‪Bronan: Ah well, I’m gonna push past it anyway and move to the big man

DM: You’ll take an attack of opportunity from the injured gnoll if you do that

‪Bronan: Yeah it’s cool, I’m raging and my lats will protect me

DM: And it has advantage because you recklessly attacked last round? Or not because this time you didn’t

‪Bronan: They would’ve done last time but they hit anyway,  you could roll twice now to make up in case they get a crit? I attacked normally this round, like an eejit

DM: 21 to hit

DM: 7 slashing damage

‪Bronan: No worries

Constance: (half for rage no?)

‪Bronan: (I’ve been halving it. Was it already halved?)

DM: Okay, faustus you are up

Faustus: Right, first I’m going to use vow of enmity as a bonus action. I now have advantage on attacks on him for the next minute

Faustus: I’m then going to slash up at him with my sword (I’m assuming he is taller than me)

Faustus: Either a 16 or a 21 to hit

DM: He is taller than you

DM: The 21 hits

Faustus: Ok, I’m going to make it a divine smite. Is this thing undead or a fiend?

DM: It looks a bit fiendish

Faustus: So I roll I get another d8 on top of the three I’m already rolling…

DM: Shit you are doing a big boy smite

Faustus: Ok 9 slashing, and then real bad rolls on the others for another 9 radiant

DM: Woof. Your sword slashes up, trailing radiance as it slashes into the defied gnoll’s chest

DM: It howls in pain and fixes its eyes on you

Faustus: Buuuttts

DM: Anything else pre gnolls?

Faustus: Don’t think I’ve got anything else to go

DM: Constance, the heavily injured gnoll by you grasps at you and tries to bite your face

DM: 20 to hit

DM: 5 piercing damage

Constance: sheeeiiiit, im pretty fucked up, but still standing

DM: Okay

DM: The fang of yeenoghu looms over faustus, screams with rage, and attacks three times. Claw, claw, bite

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 39 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 36, find it here!

 

Bronan: Normally liches die if you put fire stick on them or salt

Faustus: True.

‪Bronan: We can’t really leave the skull here, and Bronan feel touching it is bad idea, anyone got a pouch and Bronan can scoop it up like with Sir dribbles nuggets

Constance: I agree. Perhaps we should secure it until we can find someone who knows more or do some research.

‪Bronan: I mean, Bronan have pouch but it sewn into loincloth and not feel comfortable with blood skull near junk, it might get hungry and take a bite

Constance: We can wrap it in my bedroll and stick it in this backpack.

DM: So you are picking it up, wrap in bedroll, into knapsack?

Constance: sure

DM: Well! You are at the oasis. You think the airship wreckage you heard of should be somewhere within a day or so south west

DM: You have a reasonable amount of food, and it now seems this oasis should be usable for drinking water

‪Bronan: Fill the keg and set off at night when it’s cooler?

DM: Easily done. Taking besh?

DM: Who has the potion, who has the skull gem?

Constance: I have the skull gem.

Constance: (What did the scroll say again?)

DM: You set out south west? this is the deep desert, very sparse short red grass, fine sand, long dune ridges. Almost nothing in the way of plants beyond the grass, no birds in the sky. The air is still, and as the day passes the heat is almost unbearable

DM: Is your plan to head south west and explore, seeking the wrecked airship?

‪Bronan: Yup think so

Constance: Yup I believe so.

Constance: Oh wait!

Constance: We were going to leave a sign that the water was safe to drink

Faustus: We are sure it is right?

‪Bronan: Bronan can drink if you like?

‪Bronan: I drink some water

DM: Tastes crisp and clear

‪Bronan: Mmm taste like stream of hilltribe

Faustus: Cool. Yeah let’s leave a note.

Faustus: Or sign.

Faustus: I’ll take the scroll if we hadn’t decided that.

DM: Great

DM: And as night falls after resting (long rest health wise) you strike out into the desert, seeking sign of this crashed ship

DM: You know south desert is home to great purple wyrms, sporadic gnoll tribes, and unknown monsters and wildness

DM: What is your marching order/plan?

Constance: I’ll do my usual scout ahead. As I can dash back or out of trouble if shit gets real

Constance: But never out of sight of the boys

‪Bronan: Forage and get food

Constance: Looking for signs of tracks or anything off in the distance

Faustus: On the lookout for danger nearby

Constance: (Paranoid!!)

DM: One of you needs to navigate

Faustus: Oh I’ll do that

‪Bronan: I’m proficient in survival, can I aid him between foraging?

‪Bronan: Onward towards the airship?

DM: Silhouetted by moonlight, three figures atop a dune covered in sparse red grass. Endless stars circle above. They know they are near to their goal

DM: And they all roll perception

Constance: 15

Faustus: 18

‪Bronan: 16

DM: There is a shape. A jagged inky blot against the ebony of the dunes at night. You can only just make it out. perhaps a dozen dune ridges south of you? Something large, something irregular, something different from the endless sand. Perhaps the airship…

‪Bronan: Hey friends (Bronan stage whispers) there is Shape over there, it’s the ship yes? We sneak like dogmen?

Constance: Sneaking sounds like a good plan.

Faustus: Yup

DM: Great, can you make me stealth checks and perception checks please, and a marching order! are you taking Besh the camel?

Constance: Stealth was 6, perception was 21. And I’ll go first since I can dodge the fuck away from danger.

‪Bronan: I got 18 stealth and 22 perception

‪Bronan: I’ll go middle 🙂

DM: Just Faustus left and then I’ll let you know what happens

Faustus: 15 stealth 8 perception.

DM: And importantly

DM: Yay or nay on camel?

‪Bronan: At this point of camel speaking and feeding Besh cacti, do we have an unspoken bond?

DM: Not particularly. She behaves like a camel would. Fairly obedient, very dumb

‪Bronan: She’s no sir dribbles, errm maybe leave her behind?

‪Bronan: Do we normally do that thing where they tie a foreleg up to let her know not to wander? If so I vote on that

DM: Sure. We will say she is left one dune over

DM: So a few things happen at once. As you sneak down the dune, Constance takes point. Ahead you can clearly see the airship

DM: It is on its side, it’s base facing you, it’s front half buried in a huge dune. A massive rent is torn in its base

DM: Faustus, you are still trying to take this in

DM: Bronan and Constance, you spot the group of huddled shapes around the dying embers of a fire

DM: Bronan immediately crouches low

DM: And Constance goes to do the same, but her footing slips in the soft sand and a small patch of red grass loudly rips free of its roots

DM: By the fire, twenty wide eyes blink open and stare at you. A harsh order is barked, a heap of brush thrown onto the fire illuminating the band- a dozen gnolls, clutching an assortment of rusted iron weapons

DM: One holds a staff wound in leather, trinkets and charms clattering as he points it at you

DM: ‘Pigmen! Pigmen are attacking! Defend Gnollhome!’

DM: Roll initiative…

Constance: 17

‪Bronan: (goddamn that’s a burn, maybe Bronan needs to learn from this and call things by their racial name rather than referring to them with a old macdonald style humanity based reference system) I got 5 ” where pigmen? We smash them too?”

Faustus: Do 4 of the gnolls have eyepatches?

DM: Yup

DM: Maybe all of them, based on your bloody perception roll

Constance: (wait what? why do they have eyepatches?)

Faustus: 20 eyes. Dozen gnolls.

Constance: ah

Constance: (maths is hard)

Constance: (have they only seen me? or all of us?)

Faustus: Haha 3

DM: They have certainly seen you

DM: Bronan and faustus are further up the dune, so possibly not them

DM: Gnolls, Constance, bronan, faustus

Faustus: Balls

DM: The one with the totem staff casts light on a log by the fire, illuminating a 30ft radius. Constance, let’s say you are at the base of the dune 40ft away and the other two are 60ft from the campfire

DM: The gnoll shaman then grabs three guards and retreats inside

DM: ‘kill them, they musn’t enter!’

DM: Leaving 8

DM: Four have spears, and throw them at Constance.

DM: 15,19,19,19. What’s your AC?

Constance: 16

DM: Oof

DM: You take fifteen piercing damage as three rough iron spears hit you

Constance: hold the phone a mo

DM: ?

Constance: (you can only take one reaction right? or would I be able to do three?)

DM: Only one

Constance: k

Constance: (then im going to use deflect missiles to try and catch one of these bitches)

Constance: (reduces damage by 1d10 + 2(dex) + 4(monk level)

Constance: (sorry +4 dex)

Constance: (so 1d10+8)

DM: Okay you Cath the first spear, but the second two hit you. Only ten damage total (am I right in thinking you only reduce the damage from one of the missiles?)

Constance: You can use your reaction to deflect or catch the missile when you are hit by a ranged weapon attack. When you do so, the damage you take from the attack is reduced by 1d10 + dex + monk level. If you reduce the damage to 0, you can catch the missile if it is small enough for you to hold in one hand and you have at least one hand free.

Constance: (abridged version from phb)

DM: So yeah. You catch one of them, the other two hit you for ten

DM: And then four gnolls run at you with axes

DM: As you fend off three of the attackers, the fourth leaps at you and strikes a stunning blow with his ragged iron axe

Constance: (hud, so 10 total damage?)

DM: (yup)

DM: (three attacks for 5 each, but one of them you negated with your kung fu)

Constance: k

DM: And now 8 slashing from that axe crit

DM: And it is your turn

Constance: How far am I from Bronan?

DM: Twenty feet

Constance: Ok. I’m going spend a ki point to use step of the wind to disengage from the four axe dudes. And run towards Bronan, when I get pretty much behind him I throw a dart (which believe is still coated with poison?) at the one who hit me.

DM: Great

Constance: 22 to hit

DM: Yup!

Constance: 5 piercing.

Constance: I can’t remember what the poison did

Constance: Apparently 2d6 looking back

Constance: A 1 and a 5 for a total of 6 poison damage.

DM: The gnoll falls back stunned and injured

DM: So there are three gnolls by the fire, and twenty feet away four surrounding Constance. Twenty foot up the dune bronan and faustus stand ready

DM: It’s bronan, then faustus to go

DM: The three by the fire seem to be readying more javelins, and the other four content to smash constance to mush

‪Bronan: I would like to rage, and charge to protect constance

‪Bronan: Yelling “bbbaaaaaaaaad dogmen go mush mush”

Constance: (I thought I got away from them?)

Constance: (Disengaged with step of the wind and then ran to Bronan)

DM: Oh yes, my mistake

DM: Presume bronan is still charging those four? or is there another plan?

‪Bronan: Yup

‪Bronan: Constance got hit, so these dogmen must get hit

‪Bronan: 18 to hit one

DM: You smash into it with the beers

‪Bronan: Blood mingles in a spray with the Foam pouring from Bronans mouth 15 slashing damage

‪Bronan: “filthy dogmen, filthy dog hitting friends, be proper dog people like sir dribbles”

DM: The gnoll, already injured by constance’s poisoned shortsword, crumples into a heap of viscera

DM: Faustus

Constance: (Rage so multi attack no?)

‪Bronan: (don’t think so at lvl 4)

Constance: ( oh wait that’s a berserker path thing nevermind)

Faustus: How far away are the other three?

DM: Forty feet

DM: But another one of them runs inside the airship

DM: So now two javelin throwers by the fire

Faustus: Ok I’m going to run towards them 30ft and breath a cone of fire at them which should just get them

Faustus: dex save for both

‪Bronan: (niiice!)

DM: They both fail, taken by surprise by the burst of flame

Faustus: They each take 9 damage

DM: Eek

DM: The howl in pain

DM: And hurl javelins at you

DM: 16 and 19 to hit

Faustus: 19 hits, 16 doesn’t

DM: That’ll be 5 piercing damage

DM: And then the three gnolls by bronan will all attack him

DM: With their rusty hatchets and scimitars

DM: 14,17,18 to hit. Any of those land, bronan?

‪Bronan: Yup, the 17 and 18

DM: That will be 8 slashing damage

DM: And now it is Constance’s turn

Constance: I’m going to circle behind the ones surrounding Bronan (in the hope of getting flanking?) and smash it in the back of the head with my quarter staff

DM: (no flanking rules in 5th edition)

Constance: (Pretty sure it’s a variant rule, I use it but if it’s not a thing fine)

DM: (not one I’ve used- give advantage if flanking? feel free)

Constance: (Yeah it’s advantage when flanking but not pushing for it, I just made the assumption)

DM: (as I said not one I’ve used, but happy to go for it)

Constance: 23 to hit with staff

Constance: 8 damage

Constance: Then for bonus action I’m going to use a ki point for flurry of blows and kick fuck oot him

Constance: 16 to hit with first, and non natural 20 with second

DM: Both will hit

Constance: 10 damage total

DM: That gnoll is driven to its knees, bloodied, one arm bent at an unnatural angle

DM: From inside the airship you hear a chorus of howls, and the strange chittering laughter of the gnolls

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 38 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 35, find it here!

 

DM: The dead elf who had been collapsed at the side of the pool is behind you faustus, and he claws at your head

DM: 19 to hit

DM: An unholy light shines in its eyes as it lurches forward, slamming into you

DM: (does that hit?)

Constance: (I had a feeling that was going to happen but didn’t want to meta game!)

Faustus: That hits yeah. Even with my shield out but I’m going to say it wasn’t out.

DM: You take five bludgeoning damage. You guys can now take your turns (first come first served)

Constance: let me fuck this bitch up

Faustus: I draw my sword and shield and strike back.

DM: Bronan, in your head the voice is laughing and uttering a strange mantra

‪Bronan: What happening I hear rustling and gasp of Faustus

‪Bronan: Are we at church? Who chanting?

Faustus: The dead elf is attacking us Bronan, we can’t hear any chanting!

Faustus: 15 to hit the elf

DM: That hits!

Faustus: It’s going to be a divine smite too. Is this undead?

DM: Yes

Faustus: Cool. 3d8 + my strength then!

Faustus: 24 damage. 14 of which was radiant, 10 slashing.

‪Bronan: Fuuuuuuck

DM: (jesus)

Faustus: Was a good roll!

DM: You slash into the dessicated elf, your sword gleaming with the holy light of bahamut

DM: The light fills the elf, who explodes in a burst of radiance into a cloud of grey ash

DM: Bronan, you hear Constance’s voice

DM: “Bronan, zombies have attacked! They are all around you, you must strike now to save me!”

Faustus: (Oh shit!)

‪Bronan: Zombies?!? Bronan save you, run constance, run (I stripped off before going swimming so I’m guessing no axe or loincloth) I go into a (blind) rage and leap to restrain the nearest noise in a grapple

‪Bronan: It’s weird and awkward

DM: Ha. Alright. Strength roll. Constance, strength save

‪Bronan: Strength athletics? Or just strength?

DM: Strength

Constance: (strength or dex for me?)

DM: Strength!

‪Bronan: I got 17

Constance: 15-1

Constance: 14

Constance: da,

Constance: damn

Constance: if it had been dex it would have been 19

DM: Constance you are restrained

Constance: “BRONAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!”

DM: You hear a zombie growling in your arms bronan

‪Bronan: run constance run, Bronan have zombie

DM: And Constance saying “yes yes, quick, kill it!”

Constance: “BRONAN ITS ME YOU FOOL!”

‪Bronan: I’m guessing I can try to headbutt the growling?

DM: Growl growl growl

DM: Yup, unarmed attack

‪Bronan: So no proficiency bonus and 1 point of damage on a hit?

DM: 1+str

‪Bronan: Holy shit

‪Bronan: Unnatural 20

‪Bronan: So that’s a 4 bludgeoning

Constance: “oof!”

DM: Ha. Okay. Constance it’s your turn

Faustus: Hold on that all happened too quick for me to use protection!

DM: Ha

DM: Also pretty sure you have advantage on attack if you are grappling him Bronan

DM: What would protection do

‪Bronan: But disadvantage for not being able to see surely?

Faustus: Give disadvantage

DM: Okay, second roll!

‪Bronan: The second one is a 9

DM: + anything?

‪Bronan: 9 total to hit, don’t think I have multi attack yet, so just gonna yell “Faustus, help constance run or help Bronan kill, this zombie have weird protection”

DM: Constance manages to snap her head around and absorb most of the damage

DM: Constance, your turn

Constance: “FAUSTUS, HELP!”

Constance: and try to wriggle free

Constance: (using dex if thats cool?)

DM: Yeah Dex against bronan’s strength roll

Constance: 18

‪Bronan: 13

Constance: and then use my movement to back away from bronan

‪Bronan: Do I need to roll for opportunity attack?

Constance: no!

Constance: because I use disengage as a bonus action, using a ki point

Constance: step of this wind bitch

Constance: the wind

DM: Hahaha

DM: Okay

Constance: STEP UP 2 THE STREETS 4: STEP OF THIS WIND

‪Bronan: Good, I don’t want to hurt you, but demon possession bro

‪Bronan: Hahaha

Constance: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BRONAN”

DM: Faustus’s turn

Faustus: Faustus tips his hat towards Bronan and casts message “Bronan my friend, I know not what trickery the unholy item from the pool has cast on you, but you are attacking us, your companions. There was only one zombie, and I have felled it. Stop, and we can figure out what is happening”

DM: (Shit. That’s good)

DM: Bronan, you hear faustus’s message

Constance: (Yeah fuck that was good)

‪Bronan: Faustus? Faustus where is everyone? Bronan confused, constance say protect her and kill zombie… If it you, really you, put cup of ale in Bronan hand *holds out hand and drop rage*

Faustus: Do I get another action?

DM: Sure, if bronan isn’t fighting then we are out of initiative

Faustus: OK yeah I put a cup of ale into his hand, and message again “Constance never said that. I fear someone is playing tricks on you. Listen only to my voice, and only if I grip your shoulder as I say it. I am using your kind birthday gift to me to speak to you” (and as I do this I grip his shoulder).

Constance: Faustus, what in the nine hells is going on?

Faustus: I think that the unholy item is bewitching Bronan somehow. He can’t see us, and for some reason is not hearing us either.

Constance: We must destroy it.

Constance: Perhaps you should ask Bronan to open it? As he seems to have already felt the touch of its foul curse

Faustus: (Does the box look damaged or opened at all?)

DM: Undamaged and unopened

Faustus: That may be best, but we must be careful we don’t bring further harm to him.

Constance: True.

Constance: (Can I inspect the box without touching it to see if I notice anything?)

‪Bronan: I drink the ale

Faustus: I grip Bronan’s shoulder “Bronan remain calm. We are investigating the box to see if we can help you and figure out how to remove this curse upon you”

‪Bronan: Bronan happy to open box (I’m about to start a rousing game of pathfinder so may be slow to respond for a bit

‪Bronan: “thanks Faustus, say sorry to whoever I grabbed, can you pass me loincloth? Bit of a breeze around my grundle”

DM: You hear Constance’s voice say “no, bronan, faustus is bewitched! You need to get angry and break free!”

‪Bronan: Constance if that you saying Faustus bad, you fill ale cup and Bronan drink, if not then you bad voice

DM: The voice says “shit.”

Faustus: I grip his shoulder “Constance didn’t say anything Bronan. Is there a voice pretending to be her? Here is your loin cloth my friend. Here, I will bring over Sir Dribbles too” and I bring him over.

Constance: (Can I inspect the box without touching it to see if I notice anything?)

DM: Yup!

Constance: Investigation?

DM: Yeah

Constance: Nat 20!

Constance: Woot

DM: The chest is sealed at four points, one of which you notice is trapped with some sort of seal

DM: An explosive rune

DM: If you break it, it’ll explode. Should be able to shimmy it off with a knife or similar though

Constance: Bronan. Faustus. Get back. I’m going to try to disarm this chest, but I fear that it’s magics might be destructive.

Constance: If I can bypass them wonderful, if not then I will be able to get out of the way somewhat quickly

Faustus: I grip Bronan’s shoulder “follow me my friend” and move us both clear.

DM: You flip the catch off easily

DM: You can take this with you an apply it on a door or a window or similar…

DM: The lid slowly springs open

Constance: Nice!

DM: Inside, three things. A small skull shaped gem of a mottled black and red material, a potion of blue liquid, and a scroll case

Constance: It’s safe! (I shout)

DM: As the lid opens, bronan, you feel a presence leaving your mind

DM: And your sight returns

‪Bronan: (Nice) ah hi guys. Bronan can see!

Faustus: Is there still a voice in your mind speaking to you? What did it say?

‪Bronan: Bad voice gone. I think, constance, you need me kill zombies?

Constance: I never said that Bronan.

Constance: It seems you have been taken advantage of.

‪Bronan: Bronan sorry, had bad voice and couldn’t see, heard zombies, noone hurt?

Constance: I think we’re fine.

Constance: Now what to do about these “items”

‪Bronan: Hmm? Oh they weird, skull probably bad

Constance: Faustus, thoughts on these?

Faustus: I agree with Bronan (I can’t do divine sense again today). Let me have a look (arcana check?)

DM: Sure, one for the skull, one for the potion? scroll is closed in its case

Faustus: 16 and non natural 20.

DM: That is a Lich’s phylactery, and a potion of water breathing

DM: Scroll you don’t know

DM: So presumably this was a lich defeated somehow, and his phylactey was hidden below this oasis

Constance: Do we know how to destroy one?

Constance: sorry

Constance: (that was supposed to be in brackets but i got excited)

‪Bronan: (can I make a check to see if/what I know about liches? I have material for if it fails)

DM: Yup, history check from bronan, aracana check from Constance

Constance: Uhhhhh. 5

‪Bronan: I also got a 5 – liches, they the female slug thing that drink blood when in swamp lake, right?

DM: Bronan, dead right

Constance: I reckon we smash it. Smashing things is a sure fire way to get rid of them right?

‪Bronan: Maybe someone write message in paper box?

‪Bronan: (gestures to scroll case)

‪Bronan: I open the case when I’m sure it’s dry

DM: The scroll case?

‪Bronan: Yup

‪Bronan: Blind again?

DM: Inside is a roll of parchment

DM: Nope

‪Bronan: (and so die my darebrobarian dreams…for now)

‪Bronan: (lift with your thighs, not your eyes)

DM: Inside is a poem about a wizard called Ptonos- the same wizard whose tomb you robbed at the beginning!

DM: Proclaimimg his wonderousness, and warning not to disturb this artefact

Faustus: I would like the whole poem please.

DM:

” Ptonos Lord of magic deep Awaken from his silent sleep

Bring light to those who dwell in dark

Know him by his burning mark

Ptonos Lord of magic strong Make mortal coil last everlong

His knowledge and his treasure hid

A box, no seams, no hinge, no lid

Ptonos Lord of magics grand Fear no beast or man or band

Four secrets scattered neath the grass

The desert king of rib gulch pass

Ptonos, be lenient, let us live! Ptonos, we serve you, let us live!

Ptonos, we beg you, let us live!

‪Bronan: Nice!

‪Bronan: Words on paper, Faustus, you person of words? Constance want?

Constance: uhhhh, this certainly doesn’t look good.

Constance: (I assume that I read this aloud, after being handed it by Bronan)

DM: Sure! Faustus, you are pretty sure the water is safe with this artefact now removed. The skull gem almost seems to be staring at you

Constance: smash it?

Constance: (that was a question directed at the other two, in character, not a suggestion that this is what Constance is doing)

DM: (ha)

Faustus: If we smash it do we release a lich?

Constance: I have no idea.

Constance: (out of character i totally do)

DM: Bronan and Constance both rolled and aren’t sure

DM: Faustus, you can roll. History to see if you remember a historical example or Arcana to see if you know about this kind of necromancy

Faustus: 15 for history.

DM: You remember three stories- the Archlich Grell, whose phylactery was cast into the fires of a volcanic island. The Lich Queen Verrimon, whose phylactery was destroyed in a great ritual of a hundred druids. Finally, the Lich Malabrot, whose phylactery was destroyed by the great ice dragon Vimi

DM: So by your memory, it takes immense power to destroy a lich’s phylactery

DM: And perhaps different rituals and powers are needed depending on the nature of said phylactery

DM: You’ve never heard of someone just smashing one, but hey

‪Bronan: Normally liches die if you put fire stick on them or salt

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 37 of The Cursed Tomb!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 34, find it here!

 

DM: From the top of the dunes you can see a smudge of green that must be Slow Death oasis

DM: So you don’t need a navigation check

DM: But I do need one final d10 roll

Constance: fine. ill step up

Constance: 7

DM: Lucky fella

Constance: is it?

DM: As you near the oasis, so does another group from the northeast- a trade caravan! a dozen laden camels, and four dwarves wrapped in loose silks and headscarves

Constance: do they look armed?

DM: yes. Big scimitars. They see you with your one camel, covered in sand and beaten and knackered, and they halt

DM: The lead dwarf unmasks, showing a slick black beard.

DM: Hail! You seem to have suffered from that rather nasty sandstorm friends. Are you in need of aid? Are you injured?

DM: Three of the dwarves have scimitars, the fourth a hefty battleaxe. All look windbattered.

DM: Are you heading to Slow Death?

‪Bronan: Bronan think he ok, not head for death,but going to water hole, lost grass ale, Bronan sad 😦

DM: One of the dwarves shakes his head in dismay and offers you a drink from a barrel one one of the camels, bringing you a foaming mug of dwarven beer across

‪Bronan: (Bronan cheers up noticeably) thank you friend, we walk with you? My name Bronan, and this *hoiks out sir dribbles* is sir dribbles and *gestures to the camel* Besh

Constance: thanks for your kindness strangers, unfortunately we have nothing to offer in return

DM: Well, if you seek slow death, walk with us. many swords make light work, and perhaps we are less likely to find trouble as a group!

DM: Also, when we have arrived and rested, Khazeem’s Kwality Karavan has many wares to help you survive the desert

‪Bronan: (uh oh, kkk)

Constance: (thats all we need, racist dwarfs)

Faustus: Thank you my friends, we will take you up on your kind offer (insight check for their potential bullshit and eventually ambush?)

Faustus: (That was supposed to be eventual ambush. I’m not planning to ambush them)

DM: (hahaha shit that was unintentional)

DM: Sure, insight check

Faustus: 15

DM: These dwarves seem on the up and up

Constance: (haha. Faustus has just spent ten days staring deeply into his eyes trying to get a measure of him)

DM: Ahead of you, Slow Death. A rocky outcropping, with a stagnant pool at the base of a basalt pillar, water trickling down its face from somewhere atop the twenty foot pillar. a few shrunken and twisted palm trees sit beside the pool

DM: An elf wearing worn leathers in I’m front of the pool, seemingly dead

Constance: perception to see if i can tell if she is rescuable?

DM: Aye

Constance: 12

DM: Very dead

DM: No clear wounds

DM: But coated in sand. Possibly died in the sandstorm?

DM: The dwarves avoid the body, and start taking camels to the basalt pillar to slowly drink the water trickling down it

Faustus: I’d like to ask about the water and the elf. Is the water off the pillar safe to drink?

DM: lead dwarf laughs

DM: It surely is! don’t drink from the pool

DM: As for the elf..

DM: He wanders up to the corpse and kicks it

DM: Dead! Sandstorm eh?

Constance: Why shouldn’t we drink from the pool?

DM: He laughs again

DM: This place is called slow death for a reason! if you drink from the pool, you surely will not survive

DM: I do not know why

Constance: some oasis!

DM: Well! There is the water from the pillar at least

DM: Enough to survive

DM: My friends

DM: Do not climb the pillar though, I beg. It is topped by an ancient shrine. I would recommend you take water, trade with us, and take your leave

Constance: how does the water in the pool look?

DM: Crisp and clear

Constance: hmm, can i give it a medicine check to see if I can work out whats making it poisonous?

DM: Sure

Constance: 15

DM: You can’t spot any poisonous plants, fungi, or dead animals. it appears clean and clear and smells like fresh water

Constance: damn

DM: Ima assuming that is a visual inspection

Constance: I mean yeah.

Constance: Like I don’t really have the apparatus to do anything more

Constance: Unless there is something useful in the herbalism kit

DM: Not tasting it etc?

DM: Nah, that’s more for gathering herbs. Mortar and pestle etc

Constance: That would be pretty dumb.

Constance: Would I think that it would convey any further info?

Constance: I’m proficient in medicine so I guess I would know

DM: Yeah this doesn’t seem to be a herbally or naturally caused poisoning

Constance: Perhaps my good friend Faustus could let me know if he is getting any bad juju vibes

Constance: (FYI the reason I’m so interested in this is that my whole thing is I try to help those in need no matter what the cost. And it seems that desert travellers are in need of not dying from poison water)

Faustus: Yeah I forget the name of the thing, but can I detect any celestial, fiend or undead, or and consecrated or desecrated place or object within 60 feet?

DM: Oh yeah!

DM: Sure

Constance: Divine sense

DM: You detect a desecrated object at the bottom of the pool, buried in the loose sand and pebbles you think

Faustus: I tell everyone that.

DM: The dwarves just focus on watering their camels

Faustus: Do they look irritated or nervous when I say it?

DM: They look worried

DM: We’ll be done with the camels in five minutes and then we’ll be moving on

DM: Do you want any supplies before we leave? We don’t want to be here if you are going to start…interfering. no disrespect intended

Faustus: (Do we even have money to trade? We lost a lot of food right?)

DM: You have enough food for a couple of days

Faustus: (I appear to have 25 gold. Is that roughly what we all have? )

DM: Yeah

Constance: I have just under 10

Constance: I’ve been keeping a note

Constance: I fully understand Kazeem. Perhaps you would like to show us your wares before we sanctify this place.

DM: Of course! We have many fine wares!

DM: Kazeem has many wares, including spices, food, adventuring gear and travelling supplies

DM: He also mentions a few…rarer items, but says perhaps that is better for a time when you are in a more cash rich scenario

‪Bronan: Bronan would like 5 gold of alcohol please, thirsty

Constance: (Lol. Not even specific? Just alcohol?)

‪Bronan: (his bond is enamoured with drink and drugs, he’s a high functioning alcoholic l who hasn’t had a drink in a day or so)

‪Bronan: (and he only has 5 gold)

DM: That will get you a Small barrel of dwarven ale, a large barrel of halfling mead, or two bottles of firewhisky

‪Bronan: The small barrel if I have the handcart still, otherwise the firewhiskey

Faustus: (We probably need a few more days of rations?)

‪Bronan: (Bronan can forage, just need water as that’s hard, but I’m guessing he could gather lizards etc)

Faustus: (Get a couple of containers for water then?)

‪Bronan: (sounds like a plan. Does anyone have any silver, or you’re gonna need to say before Bronan spends it all on whiskey – this is why he is not a rich man!)

Constance: (well the empty barrell might come in handy)

‪Bronan: (do I reckon I could fit the ale into the axe flask? Leaving the cask empty?)

DM: Yup, sure!

‪Bronan: Then I do that 🙂

Constance: Lovely. Kazeem. If you return to this place, we will leave a sign that we have purified it of the desecration that plagues these waters. If you find it. Let others know that this oasis is now safe. If instead you find us dead, know that we died trying to improve the lots of those who would wander the desert, so that they may not end as this unfortunate soul did *indicates to dead elf, bows head respectfully*

DM: Inspiration

Constance: Nice.

DM: Aye,what’s your plan?

Constance: So Faustus. You believe there to be something cursed at the bottom of this pool?

DM: Some sort of fairly powerful artefact contaminated with hellish energy

Constance: Who amongst us is the most proficient swimmer?

Faustus: Yes.

‪Bronan: Bronan strong swimmer

Constance: Ok Bronan. How about we tie a rope around you in case anything goes wrong and if you need us to pull you up, you can tug on it twice.

‪Bronan: Ok, sound good (Bronan strips off and dives in the pond)

‪Bronan: (after rope is tied around him)

DM: Okay, you are looking for this source of desecration? Faustian described it as buried in the centre of the oasis, which is about ten foot deep

‪Bronan: Yup, looking for anything that stands out

DM: Perception check with advantage as faustus told you the vague spot to go for

DM: Who is holding the rope?

‪Bronan: 23 total

Faustus: I can hold

DM: Bronan, as you swim down through the crystal water, you see something

DM: Buried in the sand is a chest, about 3ft long, 2ft deep, 2ft wide. It is almost completely buried, but you can make out it’s shape. It’s outside seems to be…limestone perhaps? Inscribed with some design or pattern

‪Bronan: Hmm, I sink down, get in deadlift stance and try to deadlift the chest and push off up and backward to the closest edge of the pool

DM: Great

DM: Make a wisdom save for me please

‪Bronan: A solid 10

Constance: (Bad time for a meeting. There are adventures to be had!)

DM: Bronan

DM: As you kick off from the base of the water, chest firmly in hand

DM: You feel tendrils of energy creeping from it to you

DM: And you suddenly, instantly, go blind

‪Bronan: Lol, ok, I continue in the direction I know the edge to be trying to lug the box out

‪Bronan: (now just need to turn sir dribbles into a seeing eye dog!)

‪Bronan: (and I get priority cart parking)

Constance: (hahahahah fuck)

DM: You make it spluttering to the side of the oasis, hauling the chest. You can’t see anything but you can hear sir dribbles barking

Constance: Bronan! What have you found!?

‪Bronan: Errm not sure, Bronan not see, it was a box

‪Bronan: Also, Bronan think he blind now like blind dave

Constance: Oh no!

Constance: Can I medicine check to see what’s going on?

DM: Sure!

Constance: Balls. 8.

DM: Maybe, maybe the water? Or something in the box?!

Constance: Lol

Constance: Faustus, is this the item that seems to be the source of this desecration?

Faustus: Can I tell with my divine sense?

DM: Yeah, this is it. Some sort of desecrated unholy artefact

DM: Unholy

Faustus: OK. Can I use lay on hands to try and help Bronan? Can heal disease or poison.

DM: Doesn’t seem to have any effect

DM: Bronan, you hear a voice in your head

DM: “A fine form for kazah to take, a fine form. Make this easy big brute”

DM: Wisdom saving throw Bronan

‪Bronan: Goddamn

‪Bronan: 12 😦

‪Bronan: Bronan says out loud, “if kazah want advice on form to take, Bronan happy to show, straight back, stuck out but and pivot hip in lift”

‪Constance: Uhhh. Who are you talking to Bronan?

‪Bronan: Is there not person out there who just speak? Kazah??

‪Bronan: (Bronan starts waving arm around)

Constance: Uh no Bronan. No one said anything.

‪Bronan: But Bronan hear new voice saying good form to take and strong

DM: Where are you all?

‪Bronan: Edge of the water with the box for me I guess, though on land

Constance: A few steps back from the edge.

Faustus: Fairly close to Bronan if I just tried lay on hands.

DM: Okay

DM: Bronan, the voice in your head laughs

‪Bronan: He laughing, sir dribbles? Sir dribbles, come here boy, bring daddy’s loincloth

DM: What are all your passive perceptions

Constance: 12

Faustus: 10

‪Bronan: 14, Bronan wise, Bronan good at looky look…at least Bronan was good at looky look:(

Constance: (Presumably being blind affects your perception)

DM: Hahaha

DM: As you are leaning forward using lay on hands on bronan

‪Bronan: I’m hoping for blindsight, that shit would be legit. Daredevil barbarian with pug? Sign me up

DM: The dead elf who had been collapsed at the side of the pool is behind you faustus, and she claws at your head

DM: 19 to hit

DM: An unholy light shines in its eyes as it lurches forward, slamming into you

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 36 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 33, find it here!

 

DM: You are well provisioned with Bronan’s wilderness expertise and supplies, you are well defended by Constance and Faustus

DM: One of you roll two dice- a survival roll for navigation, and a d10 for me as well

Constance: ill do d10

DM: (I’ve pre-made a table for that, so I’m not cheating when something bad happens!)

Constance: 2

Faustus: 10

DM: You spend the day uneventfully heading south- the desert lives up to its name. Above you, vultures circle. At night, eyes gleam in the diatnat dark, but nothing approaches closer than a few hundred yards

DM: The next day! Same again

‪Bronan: I’ll do survival

DM: You are pretty sure you were going in the right direction day 1 but shifting sands and dunes…hmm

Faustus: I’ll do the d10

Faustus: 8

‪Bronan: Oh shit, I got. 6 total

DM: It all seems to look the same. You are headed vaguely south

DM: In mid afternoon, in the trough between two dunes, you find the skeletons of three halflings, bones picked clean by vultures

DM: Two wear mail, one sun bleached robes

DM: You spot them from atop a nearby dune. They sear to have simply laid down and died

DM: Besh snorts and steps around awkwardly. The bones look old, dried from an age of harsh heat

‪Bronan: (I awkwardly pat constance on the shoulder)  sorry constance, is there death ritual for halflings you want us to do?

DM: A light breeze blows a tumbleweed past you as you all state dumbfounded at the dead halfling trio

Faustus: Can I arcana check the bodies? I suspect they died of thirst, but just want to make sure nothing magical affected them as they are all together

DM: Sure!

Faustus: 17

DM: You don’t sense any magical auras or strangeness

DM: But the halfling who was wearing a robe is wearing a simple silver ring that is clearly magical

Faustus: Can I investigate that further? What would that be?

DM: Sure, give me one more arcana roll

Faustus: 15

DM: It’s a simple silver band, with an eye etched on one side, and the word ‘Desuno’ inscribed within

DM: You decking you’d need to attune to it by focusing on it overnight, but after that it should work. Doesn’t appear to be cursed

Faustus: Constance, these are your people. I think you should have this.

‪Bronan: (nice!)

DM: But yes, these halflings seem to have starved to death, and then bones picked clean by bugs and birds. As you stand in the brutal heat of the dune valley, you understand how. In every direction, sand and sparse dry red grass. The sun seemingly fixed at one point in the sky above you

Constance: no Faustus, I cannot take from those who have died.

Constance: please, you should take it

Constance: (I’ve already got heaps of magic stuff)

Faustus: (I’ve got a fancy hat, what does Bronan have?)

DM: (a ray of frost…amulet I think?)

‪Bronan: (swapped it for the hat)

‪Bronan: (also, unless we brought alcohol with us, Bronan might be starting withdrawal by now as I’ve been supping on the axe ale for a while)

DM: (the birdmen actually gave you a mini keg of aaracokra grass based ale, which is in the cart)

Constance: (in that case…)

Constance: a drink to these poor souls! *raises glass*

‪Bronan: *Bronan pokes sir dribbles and tries  to distract him from the tasty looking bones*   no sir dribbles, these might be aunt constance’s cousins or something

Faustus: *raise glass* and I hand the ring to Bronan. “Here Bronan,  this should fit on your pinky finger”

‪Bronan: Yes! Good idea constance *raises Cup* thank you Faustus, it pretty, it have funny word on it

DM: Great

DM: Bronan

DM: Roll a d100 for me

‪Bronan: 34

DM: As you out the ring on, you feel it squeeze painfully tight around your finger then slightly relax

DM: 34? Great. You feel a vague sense of unease, but it soon passes

DM: What are you guys up to? Its late afternoon. You’d normally walk a few more hours before setting up camp

‪Bronan: (any rocks to build a cairn?)

DM: Noooope. Just sand.

‪Bronan: We could take em in the wagon, find good place to bury?

Constance: i think we should leave them where they are

Constance: there is nought that we can do for them now

‪Bronan: Ok, I make ancient grave sign of tribe (I write in the sand “we were waiting for half-life 3” in giant)

Faustus: I enjoy the number of levels that works on.

‪Bronan: 👍

‪Bronan: (we rolling on til camp time?)

‪Bronan: (Fuck it, Besh doesn’t like it here, let’s roll on I guess)

Constance: 👍🏻

DM: Yup

DM: two dice- a survival roll for navigation, and a d10 for me as well

DM: For the next day

Constance: ill survival i spose

DM: Bronan, overnight you have terrible nightmares about beaks pecking at you

Constance: 12

‪Bronan: (his bond is having awful visions when he sleeps, are they out of the ordinary?)

DM: Yeah, normally you have visions of the world splitting asunder. Last night, you dreamt of being eaten alive by beaks

DM: Okay, 12

DM: So a d10 from someone please!

Faustus: 3

DM: In fact you think you are only a few hours walking from the oasis as it gets to evening

DM: 3

DM: Shit

Constance: (shit?!)

DM: So, as you start slowing down and getting ready to set up camp for a night, you all stop short

DM: From the deathly stillness of days in the desert, a Gale of wind blasts across you from the south

DM: And on the horizon a wall of sand rises, blotting the sky

DM: Sandstorm!

DM: You have 3 rounds before it hits your group. what do you do?!

‪Bronan: (fuuuuuuck)

‪Bronan: Any shelter/rockfaces pointing away from it?

DM: You are on top of a dune ridge that goes north to south. Storm is coming from the west

DM: Besh starts freaking out a bit instantly when the wind picks up

‪Bronan: (I have an idea but not sure if others have one that might not kill us)

DM: (you guys can talk like this out of game if you like. In game, you have three rounds each before a wall of sand hits)

Constance: (does anyone have a rope? we could throw ourselves into bedrolls, which are like sleeping bags right? and lash ourselves to the cart?)

‪Bronan: (ok, so, my idea is to tip the cart on its side at the top of the ridge, hide on the lee side with a tarp/something covering us, that way the cart should block the wind and won’t push the sand dune on top of us)

Constance: thats also good

‪Bronan: (Constance’s idea is probably less likely to kill us though, cause I can never remember if you want to be focused into the wind or away to stop sand building up over your shelter)

Constance: (ok, so tip the cart is good but do we have some coverings?

‪Bronan: (we do want to try to save Besh though, I don’t fancy schlubbing this cart through the desert)

Constance: yeah no shit, I’m sure we could get her in there

DM: You have 18 seconds, remember

‪Bronan: (does the cart have a tarp currently over the top?)

DM: Nope

‪Bronan: Ok, I’m gonna yell “constance or Faustus , grab besh and get her ready to hide behind the cart, I’m going to tip it to give us some shelter

‪Bronan: And then try to tip the cart

DM: Okay, we are into it! Strength check bronan

Faustus: I’ll grab besh

‪Bronan: Do I still have inspiration? Cause I’m not raging and would like advantage on this!

DM: Hold on faustus

DM: Yeah bronan you have advantage

‪Bronan: Thank the Lord, got an 11 and a 21, 21 is what I’m going with

DM: With a mighty heave you flip the cart, facing its base towads the oncoming storm

DM: Faustus you are grabbing Besh? Your call- straight strength, animal handling, or intimidation

‪Bronan: Then I hop into shelter and wrap myself in my bearskin cloak, taking care to ensure sir dribbles is safe

Faustus: I’ll go strength. 19 total.

DM: Alright you manage to wrench Besh’s harness and get her under your control. You can move as well

Faustus: Pull her with me into the shelter

DM: Okay, constance?

Constance: uhh

Constance: ok, i dive in behind the cart too

Constance: (we do NOT have the equipment for this)

‪Bronan: (I’m rolling a druid next!)

‪Bronan: (not that I think it would help, but hey ho)

DM: Okay, you have two rounds left before it hits. Anything else you want?

Constance: I’d like to wrap a tear of cloth from my spare set of clothes around my mouth and nose

‪Bronan: Im gonna try to brace a javelin so it sticks upward

DM: Yup and yup

Constance: Same with my staff

Constance: “GOOD IDEA BRONAN!”

DM: That’s you done then Constance, that’s two actions

DM: Bronan you have time for one more. Faustus 2 more

Faustus: I’ll do javelin and cloth too.

Faustus: Actually not javelin. Can I brace against the cart with my shield?

‪Bronan: I’m gonna tuck my bedroll over Besh and then do the cloak snuggle wrap (don’t want nipped chafe from the sand storm

‪Bronan: Or if it’s just one. The cloak wrap

DM: Yup faustus

DM: And bronan, just the cloak wrap

DM: The storm descends

DM: Darkness and noise. Almost nothing is visible, even if you could bear to open your eyes

DM: The wind is a constant scream, and you can feel the cart strain

DM: I need a group strength check, with at least two of you reaching 15, as the storm starts to lift the cart

‪Bronan: I got a 6, so no pressure

Faustus: I got a 22.

Constance: Oh no

Constance: I rolled a 3

Constance: And I have -1 to strength

Constance: BUT INSPIRATION BITCHES

Constance: Balls.

Constance: 11

Faustus: Haha

DM: the cart wrenches free of your grip and flips off, instantly lost from sight, your supplies scattered to the storm. Besh hunkers into the sand pressing herself flat

DM: What do you do? You are all somewhat braced against the storm, except faustus who was pressing into the cart with his shield

DM: So actually, faustus, Dex save please chum

Faustus: You piece of shit

Faustus: 17

DM: You are fine, you manage to dig your shield into the sand and hunker down

DM: And now the long run continues

DM: It takes four hours for the storm to pass over you. There is no relent, no possible calm or pause, and then suddenly…it is past you

DM: Constitution saving throws for all of you

Faustus: Urgghh. 6.

‪Bronan: 19

Constance: 16

DM: Faustus, you feel…weak

DM: Tired beyond imagining

Faustus: Balls

DM: Finally, the storm passes. It is the sea of night and you realise the wind is a little softer, the sand stings less and less

DM: Finally you see starlight

DM: You are all almost buried in sand. Besh shakes sand from her coat and struggles to stand. The cart, wrecked, is a hundred feet away. Some of your supplies are on the surface of the sand, half buried, but much of your food and miscellany is lost to the endless sand

DM: It’s night time

‪Bronan: I dig myself and my cohorts out, speak with animals and ask Besh to sniff out the water casks

DM: Alright. In which case make me an investigation check with advantage due to your camel helper

‪Bronan: (Bronan is no sleuth really, might almost be better to use the camels stats…)

‪Bronan: 7 was the highest

DM: You find one barrel, which only has a small remnant of its contents. The other barrel is nowhere to be seen

DM: You think the Slow Death oasis is maybe one more day south. You should really have hit it by now, but hey

Constance: Damn. We shall have to ration gentlemen.

DM: You have enough supplies for two days, perhaps. You should be at the oasis within a few hours walk. It’s currently the dead of night, but you are all shattered by the experience of weathering the store

DM: Resting til the next morning?

‪Bronan: I’m happy with that

Constance: 👍

Faustus: Cool.

DM: Grand, you rest til morning

DM: As dawn illuminates the desert, from the top of the dunes you can see a smudge of green that must be Slow Death oasis

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 35 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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