Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 33 – Creative or Dumb?

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang just stopped a group of assassins from the city of Ruulgrad, and is now trying to figure out what their next move is. Enjoy!

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 12 – …Rat or Weasel?

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

Constance: Goddamn it.

Constance: Stupid scorpions.

DM: You can see a crack in the left wall that is presumably their lair, about 10ft up

‪Bronan: Shit, smokebomb! Let’s gas these fuckers

‪Bronan: Bronan think smoke make clackclacks woozy, we use?

‪Bronan: (I know Bronan has used the word scorpion before, but these are huge!)

DM: They are about 2ft

Constance: Yeah fuck it. I slowly pull out one of the smoke bomb things we brought and throw it into the middle of them.

Constance: Lighting it first of course

‪Bronan: I try to help by using animal handling to clack (tapping my hand axes together) in a intimidating way

‪Bronan: Or intimidate, whichever

Faustus: As the others rush through the scorpions I continue to move along the ridge, trying to stay hidden from them and anyone who may be watching

Constance: Yeah I’m going to wait for full smoke release and see what the scorpions do and rush straight ahead through the smoke

‪Bronan: I’m under the tarpaulin clacking axes together

DM: Okay

‪Bronan: (ah to be a spell nerd and have AoE spells)

DM: Constance do a ranged attack for me

DM: Bronan roll intimidation

DM: Faustus stealth with advantage

Faustus: 16

‪Bronan: 18

Constance: 10 + 3 (assuming I’m not proficient with smoke bombs)

DM: Faustus creeps low to the edge of the ridge, and now has a perfect view of the scorpions, who look like they are about to leap forward

DM: Suddenly, Constance hurls forward a lot clay pot that shatters in the middle of the path

DM: Plumes of thick smoke billow out, filling a 20ft cube with a thick noxious black smoke

DM: Meanwhile, the scorpions cower back, as the sound of a giant metal scorpion clacks out from under cover!

DM: It’s now the scorpions turn

DM: The three on the left hand side retreat into their crack in the wall

DM: The three on the right, with thick smoke between them and safety, leap forward at Constance and the camels, one attacking each

DM: Constance what’s your AC?

DM: 9, 5, and 12 on camels and Constance respectively

‪Bronan: (here’s hoping the camels multiclassed into barbarian to get unarmoured defence)

Constance: 15

DM: Constance and one of the camels dart back, but one gets stung

‪Bronan: Ok, did I see Constance get attacked?

DM: You did

DM: The camel that gets stung

‪Bronan: Shit, ok

DM: Foams at the mouth

DM: Fails it’s constitution save

DM: And collapses, foaming and twitching

‪Bronan: Nooooooo!!!! Mrs Camel!!!

Faustus: Oh piss that quickly? I was totally going to cure its poison later!

DM: The second camel instantly reaches down and bites that scorpion in half, throwing its remains against the cliff wall

DM: Now it is you guys. What order was it? Constance, Bronan, Faustus I think

DM: (let me know if wrong)

Constance: Nah that’s right

DM: Two scorpions left, one stabbing at Constance’s legs, the other rearing back from the raging camel

Constance: Ok so two remaining scorpions in front of me?

DM: Yeah

Constance: The one right in front of me I’m going to bring the staff (which I’ve been using as a walking stick) down on top of with two hands

DM: This is your Ankh quatterstaff?

Constance: Yup.

DM: Roll for attack!

Constance: Sigh. 9

Constance: Assuming its strength you add. Which I think it is.

Faustus: Might be ok! The camel only has an ac of 9.

DM: Think for monk it’s strength or dex

Constance: Not as far as I can tell

Constance: Unless it’s a finesse weapon

Constance: Anyway 9.

DM: Okay sure

DM: Constance you bring down your two handed quarterstaff with a mighty swing

DM: But the scorpion darts out of reach

DM: Bronan? Two scorpions are attacking your little friend and your spitting friend

DM: And they killed Mrs Camel! She owed you many hundred of gold for sand pies!

‪Bronan: (I know this fuck up the plan a bit, but protecting you guys is Bronans thing. And you being in peril is his rage trigger) Bronan takes in the scene, his eyes glaze over, the hand axes fall to the bed of the wagon, he draws the beers and leaps into the fray, swinging the beers at the scorpion who attacked constance last round

‪Bronan: (he’s raging)

‪Bronan: 17 to hit

Faustus: (It only fucks up the plan if we get seen, and tbh I wasn’t exactly planning on just skipping my go!)

DM: Yeah that hits!

‪Bronan: That’s a 14 slashing

DM: (also Constance for future monks can use dex for monk and simple weapons instead of strength, under martial arts)

DM: Oh wow, yeah, it is bifurcated

DM: Scorpion Gore spills across the sand and thick red grass

Constance: Damnit that would have hit most likely!

DM: Well, should have listened to all powerful and wise DM then, silly

DM: Faustus? One scorpion standing, dancing around the last camel

DM: Smoke still pouring from that shattered pot

Faustus: So before I attack, can I take a quick look around me and in the sky to see if I can spy any onlookers?

DM: Yeah, perception

Faustus: 17

DM: Hmm

DM: You don’t see anything, but you are very aware that the smoke is now starting to send black wisps into the sky

Faustus: Ok so get this done. I’m going to throw a javelin down at the scorpion.

DM: Awesome, attack rooooolll! With advantage as they have no idea you are there

Faustus: Non – natural 20 to hit

Faustus: Or…

Faustus: Nope. Not higher than that.

Faustus: And 9 piercing damage.

DM: Just as the scorpion leaps forward at the camels exposed flank, your javelin smashes through it, pinning it into the hot sand. It flexes and curls its tail, and cracks its claws at you and spasms. Gore coats your javelin and the sand as it falls still

Faustus: That them all? Is the camel definitely dead?

DM: That is the three who stayed outside. Three more are on that crack in the wall, you don’t know how deep it goes (and it’s obscured by smoke)

DM: Camel is utterly dead

DM: It is bleeding from its mouth and eyes and ears as well

Faustus: Ok, so I will not be clambering down to try and save it then!

DM: Wait.

DM: It twitches!

DM: The camel sits up, and is violently sick

DM: And then sits up slightly and shakes its head

DM: It’s not dead. Just a bit of a bad reaction to the poison

Faustus: Guys does it look like it’s still dying from the poison or is it over it?

‪Bronan: (glad I didn’t get typing happy, I was gonna ram its head into the scorpion hole)

‪Bronan: I guess I rehitch it to the cart, climb back inside and make the cart continue

‪Bronan: But before we go, I take the scorpion corpses for later

DM: Okay

Constance: Good shout. Let’s skedaddle

DM: You are moving on? North into the hills, west into desert, north west skirting borders of hills?

Constance: North west. And I grab the javelin out of the ground throwing it in the back of the cart

Faustus: Cool.

‪Bronan: Ow…

DM: Okay, you head north west the sun is sinking. behind you, the smoke continues to pour into the sky

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: No worry constance, Bronan fine

DM: Dex save from Mr dribbles?

DM: No

DM: Nevermind

Constance: I placed it. Not threw!

DM: It is almost nightfall. Are you making camp?

Constance: Yeah. Somewhere with a cliff to back against.

DM: Cool. That is easily found

DM: Caravan, camels, contance, and bronan on the red grass looking over the endless sand? And 30ft above, secreted in shadows, faustus?

DM: If you want a fire roll survival. Faustus, roll stealth

Constance: 3 + 2(con?)

‪Bronan: Survival is wisdom

DM: You can’t find any wood Constance

DM: Either way

Constance: Well still + 2.

Constance: Cold camp it is

‪Bronan: Bronan try, sure constance did good job, but maybe Bronan find fuel

DM: Hahaha

DM: Bronan roll survival

‪Bronan: (if that’s OK?)

DM: Yeah sure thing

DM: Constance returns to camp saying there is no wood to be found and it is a cold camp tonight

‪Bronan: Unnatural 20

Constance: Damnit

DM: Bronan nods and goes out and comes back with a sizable pile of wood within a minute or two

‪Bronan: Don’t feel bad Bronan brought this wood with us

DM: You have enough wood to have a fire all night

‪Bronan: That’s a 17 on deception to make constance feel less bad

DM: How are you doing this tonight? Faustus, are you staying up all night, or sleeping hidden up there? Are you guys doing shifts?

Constance: I think I’m going to try to stay awake all night.

Faustus: 19 on stealth

Constance: Knowing that we are likely to have something happen.

Constance: Shit. You’re a fucking ninja.

Faustus: Going to stay up on watch.

DM: Nice

‪Bronan: Bronan play with Sir dribbles, it like camp out

DM: Bronan in the wagon or out?

‪Bronan: We spend the evening telling each other horror stories in the wagon under the tarpaulin, sir dribbles seems to be doing a good job telling a scary story

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: Bronan’s are all kibble shortage related

‪Bronan: Bronan is whispering

DM: Very good

DM: Constance

DM: Sat by the fire?

Constance: Yup.

DM: Bronan, you ance inspiration

DM: *have

DM: Because you made me giggle like a child on a bus

DM: Right.

DM: Night falls over the red plains

DM: Perception rolls

DM: Advantage to faustus, disadvantage to bronan

Faustus: 14

‪Bronan: Ah the pain of disadvantage, I got a 15, but the other roll was a natty 20

DM: Still pretty solid!

‪Bronan: Yeah but it could’ve been 23, setting the stage for Bronan to have xray vision

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles is mainly a prop, but is there a set of stats I should be using for him?

DM: …rat or weasel? Or dog if they exist. Wouldn’t worry, wasn’t going to kill him unless it’s a clear TPK

DM: If you’d rather stat him and play him I’m happy with that, but that will open him up to the world of damage!

Constance: What do you add on perception.

Constance: Fuck I need to screenshot the list or some shit

‪Bronan: Wis

Constance: 11 + 2 then

Constance: Cheers dude

Bronan: I’ll keep him as a plot thing, it’s more funny and hard to acquire pugs in a desert for Sir dribbles the second of his name

‪Bronan: Also, I’m guessing the temp hitpoints from the holy water have worn off by now

DM: You all see a formation descend from above, five sets of wings descending, blocking our patches of stars, they spiral down and land in the sand in front of Constance without a sound

DM: Yeah bronan

DM: The biggest speaks in a guttural avian squawk

DM: Lonesome traveller, you are in our lands. The Blessed Wind requires payment…

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 13 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 32 – WWCTD?

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang is facing down the Archmage of the city of Ruulgrad, where they recently paid a visit and coincidentally the Crown Prince was also horribly murdered. No connection.

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 11 – Not Eat Carrot, Night Eyes Bad

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: Summoning sandworms?

DM: Nature check

‪Bronan: 16

DM: I mean…they came when you were digging, not before? So they are probably drawn by disturbances below the surface

DM: So in theory it could be done. As to riding them, hell…

‪Bronan: At some point, Bronan is probably going to die attempting that, for now, any thoughts on our plans Constance or Faustus?

Constance: I like the bolas thrower. A covered cart with one of us in it prepared to fire nets is good. One of us hidden elsewhere on a ridge or something is good. And one of us leading the cart.

Constance: I’m happy to lead the cart. Put these poison darts to good use. Do we have any idea how many might be in a raiding party?

Faustus: Yeah I’m game for all of this.

Constance: What magicky goodness do you have now?

Constance: Basically we want to hit them hard and fast and keep them grounded if possible.

Constance: Crossbows might be good

Faustus: I’ve just gone for a curing spell to be safe!

Constance: That’s a good shout. Stick you out of sight on a ridge?

Faustus: Can do. I’m all in for a rumble once they are grounded though.

Constance: Yup. Keep as many alive as we can?

Faustus: I think so

‪Bronan: Sounds like a plan!

Constance: Are smoke bombs a thing we could purchase?

DM: Smoke bombs aren’t really a thing, but you could probably get some pots of thick oil and molotov them and it would make a small fire/big smoke screen

DM: So you want a covered cart and horses (or camels?) to draw it, a net catapult, and a pile of nets and javelins?

DM: If this is your plan I’m assuming this is you now talking to Toma and Faizal

Bronan: Yup, make it camels, they’re slower but won’t die on us as easy!

Constance: Camels are actually faster than horses

Constance: Oil and fire yea. That works.

DM: Okay

DM: So. Toma asks where you are staying and says he will have a cart, camels, javelins, nets, a net thrower, and some smoke pots delivered by morning

DM: He also indicates that Melbos is putting a lot of trust and several hundred gold worth of equipment in your hands

DM: And that should that trust be broken melbos would be most disappointed. But of course Melbos is certain that won’t happen

Constance: And what does he expect in return?

Constance: Exactly?

DM: The eradication of the bandit gang blessed wind. Kill their leader and scatter them, kill them all, or do whatever you choose.

Constance: Super.

DM: If you could recover the mayor’s cargo and deliver it to Melbos then that would be a boon, but perhaps it has already traded hands

DM: Anything else gentlemen? There will of course be water and food

Constance: I can’t think of anything, but you know what it’s like packing! You always feel like you’ve forgotten something!

Faustus: I think I’m good for anything else.

‪Bronan: Yup sounds good!

DM: Okay

DM: Anything else you three want to do before setting off?

DM: Okay. So

DM: You each have a quiver with 6 javelins, and you each have two nets

DM: There is also a very basic net launcher mounted on the covered wagon, with 10 nets coiled and ready to be shot. Loading it is a bonus action, firing an action. It has the same effect as a net but a range of 100ft!

DM: Also two camels, a bunch of water and food, and Toma also put in some plain brown hooded light robes in the style of the local traders

DM: And three pots of thick black tarry stuff with rag fuses (smokebombs….?)

DM: So, you are free to set off whenever you like

Constance: Where are we thinking of heading? Somewhere near the original site?

Constance: Somewhere with a cliff would be good.

Bronan: There are mountains to the north of the ambush site, so north from there?

Constance: Could be a shout. Find a place where Faustus can get hidden up high, reduces the efficacy of them flying out of range.

Faustus: Sounds good

DM: Okay!

DM: It takes you about four days to reach Rib Gulch

DM: Bronan, roll me a d6?

‪Bronan: Ooooh exciting

‪Bronan: I got a 2

‪Bronan: So I only get eaten by two sandworms?

DM: Okay. Going is slow, and at night on watch you hear some creatures sniffling at the edge of your vision, but nothing bothers you until you reach the gulch

DM: It iss another day to the tower, and a few hours to the previous caravan that got eaten

DM: If you are just carrying straight on?

Bronan: (I love it when I get to roll random dice, simultaneous sense of dread and fun)

‪Bronan: I point it out to companions

‪Bronan: Hey Bros, things snuffling in dark

‪Bronan: Last time dogmen attack, we go find and kill? Or keep going

‪Bronan: Bronan trying to pretend to be trader, trader not fight?

Constance: Trader not fight Bronan

‪Bronan: During the journey, I’ll be pretending to be a trader, much in the way children play shop, but with Sir dribbles, the camels and occasionally Faustus and Constance, though not too much with them as I don’t want them to get annoyed or ruin their day by being the kid that makes them play a game they don’t want to

Faustus: Haha

Bronan: “that right Mrs camel, two gold for sand pie. Yes much weather we have had, thank you have good day”

DM: So yes, after you pass rib gulch and into the red plains, how are you proceeding? How are you acting/dressed etc?

DM: Hahaha

‪Bronan: I roll 8 on animal handling for the camels selling

Constance: Hahahaha.

DM: He gives you no gold

‪Bronan: And an 8 on deception for pretending to be a trader

DM: Oh good

Constance: I guess once we start getting into “dangerous” territory I’ll lead he cart alone, stick Bronan on the back under the cover with a loaded net gun

Constance: Faustus can head off to one side within viewing distance and try to remain unseen?

Bronan: You guys can probably tell he’s not convincing

DM: In which case deception rolls from Constance and stealth from faustus

DM: How far out is faustus?

Faustus: Have we determined a good spot for me to spy from?

Constance: 3 + 1 😡

‪Bronan: Should we give Faustus more javelins?

Faustus: That’ll be an 18 total for stealth l

‪Bronan: I give him the 6 Melbos gave me, I have three anyway and I’m just going to be trying to net people

‪Bronan: Before he disappears like a ninja

Faustus: So I’m going to be up on a ledge if we can find one, staying hidden until they attack and then I’m going to be throwing down javelins at some birdmen?

Constance: Pretty much.

Faustus: Grand.

Faustus: I’m off then. My cloak pulled over my armour and shield.

Faustus: Can we see anything in the sky as we move?

DM: Right

DM: After a day you reach Ptonos’s tomb

DM: Across the red grass

DM: Night is falling. Where are you setting up the wagon? By the tomb, away in the dunes and plains?

DM: (the grass is like marram grass at the beach, it’s still sand underneath)

Faustus: I’d guess not suspiciously close to either the tomb or the previous attack site?

DM: So…about midway between?

Bronan: Hmm, we’ll need to build a good fire in case of night attack, I have no darkvision!

Faustus: Haha neither do I!

Bronan: Bronan not eat carrot, night eyes bad

DM: Survival roll to see how much fuel you can find?

Bronan: Cool

‪Bronan: That’s an unnatural 20

‪Bronan: 17+3

DM: Yeah you find enough for a reasonable fire to burn all night

DM: Constance roll a d6

Constance: 2

DM: Okay

DM: Nothing happens overnight. What are you doing?

Bronan: Slightly muffled “Bronan can come out now?”

Constance: Heading to somewhere in between the tomb and the site of the original attack trying to find an easily defensible position.

Constance: “Shhhhhh”

‪Bronan: Silence from the wagon… Then a slurping noise and the silence again

DM: I thought you were planning on north of the original attack to those small hills so faustus can hit up a high point? It’s all very small rolling dunes around here

Bronan: Yeah let’s do that

‪Bronan: I guess?

‪Bronan: I mean I’m fine either way, the basics are that Faustus is away so he can flank

Constance: Oh yeah. That.

Constance: Ok, let’s head north, skirting around the original site towards those mountains.

DM: Okay, Faustus, a d6 please!

Faustus: 1

DM: Okay!

DM: You skirt around the original site and soon find yourself in the Rocky hills known as the Wyrms Teeth on the map you have

DM: Here it is possible for Faustus to flank about 50ft out and also have elevation along ridges about 30 ft higher than the paths

DM: Is the plan to continue ambling along until dusk and then camp up?

DM: Bronan, roll a d6

Constance: Yup. Pretty much.

Bronan: I also got a 1, hopefully that 1 trend won’t continue in combat!

DM: All roll perception for me? Faustus, advantage due to your favourable position

Faustus: 18

Constance: 19 + whatever

Constance: Int?

DM: Bronan, disadvantage as you are under cover

Constance: (I have no idea why I struggle to remember this so much.)

DM: Constance, 19 is fine regardless

Bronan: You guys aren’t going to believe this, so I screen grabbed

‪Bronan: Got an unnatural 20 on disadvantage, exact same roll!

Constance: Hahaha. You think we have that little trust in you?

DM: Wow

DM: So

Bronan: I wouldn’t believe it, that kinda shit is a sure sign of fuckery

DM: Let me walk you through thus

Faustus: We’re all perceptive as shit

DM: The wagon is rolling between Rocky outcrpps, it’s around evening, the sun is burning to the west

DM: Red grass under the wagon, but the rocks above are bare

DM: Bronan is sat bored in the back, Constance leads the camels, and faustus is darting between rock outcrops, one eye always on the sky

DM: And almost all at once you realise the bird song has stopped, and get the send of being watched

DM: Bronan peeps from under canvas

DM: And all of you notice that the rock walls of this path are covered in scorpions!

DM: Each scorpion is the size of your arm, and there are a dozen at least

DM: For this game, initiative Is based on first replies, then enemies. After first round we will stick with that

Constance: Shit

Constance: Uh, can we turn around?

DM: It’s very narrow, you have to three point turn it, bringing the camels very close to scorpions

DM: The path ahead is clear but takes you past the scorpions, who are now bristling and clacking their claws

Bronan: Fuckballs, they are on the walls right? Or the floor?

DM: On the walls

DM: 6 on each side

DM: Faustus is 30ft up top of a sheer rock wall

DM: A scorpion 5ft, 15ft, and 20ft up each wall

Constance: How many camels we got?

Bronan: Shit, “make camel run, Bronan swipe with axe, if clackclacks follow, Bronan have plan”

DM: 2 camels

Constance: “Shhhh Bronan. If we do that then we give ourselves away”

DM: You want to make them dash? Controlling camel movement is a bonus action and they can move once per round

Bronan: At the moment, Bronan is holding his action until constance or Faustus tells him what to do

Constance: Goddamn it.

Constance: Stupid scorpions.

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 12 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 31 – Pensioner’s Discount

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang is deep underground, beneath the volcanic island The Middle Sister. There is lava, scratching noises and weird psychic voices. Creepy stuff. We have just defeated a cult leader and recovered the rod of stone, but Mary has snuck off to try and steal a powerful artifact from the darkness itself. This will go well for her.

Download this episode (right click and save)

Map of the caves (and some snacks). We are the assortment of figures in the bottom right as we entire the caverns. In this episode most of the group starts in the top right corner, while Mary starts in the room with the pool in the middle.

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 10 – Is a Bad Dude Clearly

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

Bronan: Hmm not wise to poke bear, but less wise to sleep in cave without checking for bear

‪Bronan: That how Bronan lost cousin

‪Bronan: Bronan not want to sleep in cave with bear he not know

DM: Well. The mayor is mysterious. Even Melbos knows not the full extent of his machinations

DM: But for now, the mayor is harmless. He lets us be

‪Bronan: Hmm ok, Bronan get odd letter from smallboy, maybe Bronan spend too much time away from tribe, but Bronan hear bear growl and want out of cave

‪Bronan: Constance and Faustus may want to speak again to Toma when we pick up map and supplies, they full from breakfast now

Constance: Melbos. You seem to be at least aware of the mayors “illicit” activities. In fact you seem to be the most informed individual in town. So that leads me to two questions. 1. What’s the mayors name? 2. How is he connected to The House of Endless Sun?

Constance: And also, how did you come to know so much?

DM: It is my role to know

DM: The Mayor, any water trader could tell you his name. Mayor Skross. As to his ties with the house of the endless Sun…I must answer a question with a question.

DM: Where did you hear of the house of Endless Sun? This is very important

DM: (he leans forward and seems agitated)

Constance: I look to Faustus (as it was him who nat 20d his history check)

Bronan: (on a side note, have we spoken with the water trader?)

Constance: (No I don’t think we have)

Constance: (I think brackets is the way to indicate out of character)

‪Bronan: (good plan, we should probably speak to the water trader at some point, in a desert, water is life and other such quotes from dune)

Constance: (Everyone always references that and I’m not entirely sure what it is. Film? Book? Game?)

‪Bronan: (all three, started as books, bad film with sting, a couple of games, puzzler, rts,  TV miniseries which was good and now his son is writing books in the world again)

‪Bronan: (I can hook you up with the books, film and mini series, the games probably won’t run on new windows operating systems)

Constance: (Sweet I’ll definitely steal those books for a bit on Tuesday when we play meatspace dnd)

‪Bronan: (meatspace? Also I looked up purple worms…those are big boy monsters… I mean Bronan would probably try to kill one, but as a player, we should definitely avoid them until much, much later in the game)

Constance: (Meta gaming! DM will be raging!)

‪Bronan: (meh as I said, Bronan would definitely try and kill em, and almost did until he was stopped!)

DM: (dune film was a masterpiece, and meta gaming will be punished with a random spell of my choice…But purple worm I’ll forgive, it’s pretty intriguing!

Bronan: (I thought the film was good as a kid, rewatching it last year and was disappointed, especially given the mini-series, bit given the cgi and effects of the time, it was pushing the limits, but it could do with a reboot)

Faustus: (It’s been a long time since I watched it. Also I’m back)

DM: So. You are meeting with Melbos, he want to know how you found out about the Mayors ties to the house of Endless sun

Constance: (Entertainment? Coms?)

Faustus: (The mayor being tied to the endless sun was a guess right? All we knew was that we found the bodies with their mark?)

Constance: (Yup. That plus the expecting a cart coming in)

Faustus: Ah yeah

Faustus: (We say this?)

Constance: (I already mentioned it, he asked how you know of them)

Faustus: (That’s what I mean, mention the bodies?)

Constance: (I leave that decision in your hands)

Faustus: We found bodies of men posing as traders with the mark of the house. I recognised it but know little else of their workings.  They had been ambushed by the Blessed Wind.

DM: Aha

DM: This will not please the mayor one bit

‪Bronan: The mayor waiting for men with scorpion tattoo? That why guardfriends say they do doubleshifts?

DM: I believe so

Constance: Wait. What?

Constance: Why would the mayor not be pleased? I was under the impression that he was expecting these people?

Bronan: Mm but scorpion tattoo men dead, worm food

DM: Because they have been killed, and his package, whatever it was, stolen?

Constance: I see.

Constance: Well is that something that he needs to know?

DM: He is up to something

‪Bronan: Remember? Constance upset, Bronan make constance happy and make grave, grave go into worm

DM: Worm? So no trace is left?

Constance: I do recall thank you Bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan not know worm digestive tract detail, may be trace

Faustus: The bodies were consumed by gigantic purple worms. We barely escaped ourselves.

Constance: We agree. We also believe he is up to something. Which is where our two paths cross. We believe that our best way of finding out more is to find whatever was on that cart and whoever took it.

DM: Then the Blessed Wind.

DM: As I said. Toma will give you a map, take a while and think of your plan and let him know any equipment you need or help you want

Bronan: *Bronan has finished his ale, looks around and refills and offers ale to people without ale*

DM: You have my blessing. This mayor, his strange desires. They do not help us, or the people of this town

DM: Melbos gratefully accepts ale and drinks it with his straw

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor not nice guy, Bronan and Faustus and Constance friends make plan and speak to Tomafriend about things to kill birdmen?

DM: Perfectly summarised Bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan once work with bard called Cliff to make notes on tribe history

Faustus: Haha

DM: Superb

‪Bronan: (how does sir dribbles react to Melbos?)

DM: Curious, but cautious

DM: Melbos offers sir dribbles a biscuit

DM: Toma says, ‘seek me by Albo’s traders, Master Melbos will not be at this house again’

Bronan: Ok friend Toma, thank you for talk Melbos-elder, and Sir dribbles grateful for biscuit

Faustus: I nod.

Bronan: (where do we go guys?)

Constance: Thanks for your hospitality gentlemen. We shall speak again soon.

Constance: Back to the church? Study the map? Come up with a plan? Or head straight out of town.

Bronan: Hmm church lady friendly, holy water nice

‪Bronan: (does anyone remember where the child found us to give us the message? Maybe we avoid there?)

Constance: That’s why I said maybe head out of town.

‪Bronan: Ok, Bronan follow Constance and Faustus friends

Faustus: Sure.

Faustus: Are we dead set on avoiding the mayor then?

Faustus: Not that I disagree. Just checking.

Constance: I mean. What’s the best case scenario?

Constance: We speak, it’s unlikely we will find out anything from him. Maybe he gets this gem that he wants from us.

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor shady, not wash hands, want magic gem and is badman, Bronan have gem, Bronan also have the beers, Bronan give Scarf-mayor the beers and die before giving dirty Scarf-mayor gem

‪Bronan: He send hungry child to send message, not feed childn send message

Faustus: Ok. I’m cool with all that, but it’s making an enemy. Which is fine. Is a bad dude clearly.

Constance: He’s at least a shady dude.

Faustus: Yup

‪Bronan: (an enemy is only an enemy as long as they’re alive…)

Faustus: Also true.

Bronan: Bronan think we can deal with Scarf-mayor, plus his message vague, not sure it from him, Bronan still not sure, happy to say it not clear if he ask

‪Bronan: No time limit on gem quest

Constance: Plus. In a purely mercenary sense this thing is worth more than we were offered. If we can get more elsewhere, fuck that guy

Faustus: Cool. I agree.

DM: So where were you headed?

DM: Are

Bronan: (how full is the ale keg now, I think a barrel holds around 40 gallons, if it’s three quarters full Bronan will probably ask for another barrel for supplies)

‪Bronan: (his flaw is he is enamoured with ale)

Constance: I think out of town, back in the direction of the obsidian ridge, find somewhere to hole up for a bit and come up with a plan of action, send word to Toma and Faisal what we need at night when we won’t be seen, then head to the place on the map to enact the plan

‪Bronan: Sound good plan

DM: Okay

Faustus: Yup

DM: There are a couple of deserted freeholds you passed on the way to obsidian ridge

Constance: Free holds?

DM: It’s 4 days to the actual ridge,

DM: Old farms

DM: But abandoned

DM: So basically you can find an abandoned shack on the edge of town. Or just out of town, or within a day of town. After that it’s desert so you camp out

DM: Bronan your barrel is almost full, it’s a pretty big barrel!

‪Bronan: Awesome news

Constance: I would say just outside town. That way we can easily get supplies for any plan that we come up with.

Faustus: Yup

DM: That is easy enough. You can make stealth checks if you are trying to be incredibly subtle about it

Bronan: 14 for Bronan

‪Bronan: (he oiled the handcart weeks)

Constance: Stealth is Dex right?

Constance: 17 + 3

DM: Great, great

DM: Faustus?

DM: Actually for a group check 2/3 passing is fine. You slowly make your way out of town toward a simple abandoned farmsted. You double back and head down side streets to minimise the chance of being seen, and feel like you’ve made it safely and discretely to shelter. You are about a mile out of town, a simple one room building next to a small field of withered date trees and a well

Bronan: Can I check to see if the well seems safe to drink from?

DM: Sure thing, nature roll! There is a bucket and rope

DM: As you have been through a reasonable amount of trouble and strife, this little base camp planning trip is a good time…to level up!

‪Bronan: That’s a 17 for nature

DM: The water is scummy on top

DM: But with a few minutes getting rid of that bad water, you are soon brining up crisp clear cool water

DM: So now you guys need to level up, and make a plan!

Constance: (Do you want us to role for Hp or just take what’s on the sheet?

DM: (Honestly don’t mind, no worries)

Constance: Sound. I’ll just take the average then

‪Bronan: Me too, I’m now on 23 hitpoints, get reckless attack and danger sense

Faustus: I just did it with the app so I think it took the average again? I’m on 20 hp. I need to pick a spell, got divine smite and I picked the protection fighting style which means I can use my shield to give an attack on an adjacent ally disadvantage as a reaction.

DM: Cooool

DM: It’s been a busy week for you guys! Big desert trek, undead gnolls, mysterious gems, officials with ties to crime, Thri-keen criminals offering you aid, aaracokra bandits…

DM: But for now you feel rested, and strong, and in mastery of your powers

DM: The desert is vast- the world is yours.

Bronan: (We have been busy!)

Constance: Three Warriors, in a land of hilarious typos.

Constance: Right if we are all levelled up. I want to take a look at this map.

Constance: Like that picture on the last page of LMoP

DM: That’s the map Toma gave you. The red X is where you found the caravan

DM: Further east, desert and plains for hundreds of miles then the sea. South, desert for weeks then jungle then ???. West, slow rise to steppe style higher altitude. North, city of Cormyra, and north of that many more cities and kingdoms and seas etc

DM: But to your knowledge Cormyra is the last great city to the south

Constance: So guys. Why don’t we head back in the general direction of that ambush. And set an ambush of our own!

Faustus: Sounds good to me.

‪Bronan: Sound good

‪Bronan: What equipment we need? Javelins? People with crossbow hiding in wagon?

Constance: I was thinking. Our two main issues will be flying and numbers.

Constance: So we need something to thin them out and keep them grounded.

Constance: How much cash do we have between us?

Constance: I have like two gold plus 8 silver. (Did we start with any $$$$?)

DM: Whatever you starting gold was

DM: But Melbos indicated that equipment for this venture would be funded by him

DM: So special weapons/items he will probably give you (within reason)

Constance: Ah. Lovely.

Constance: Well I’m thinking covered wagon with something hidden inside. We would need ranged weapons to take down anything that gets away from us. And nets. Lots and lots of nets.

Faustus: We found 10 gold each at the tomb too.

Faustus: So I have 20.

Constance: Yeah but I spent that.

Constance: Or at least most of it. No idea what starting gold was

DM: What’s your background, acolyte?

‪Bronan: Bronan has no gold

‪Bronan: Maybe a small net thrower style catapult kind of thing? Or, we could lure them to the wagon and then have a burning death trap with alchemists fire. And if we can somehow get something to make them fall prone, that would be great. My worry is that we will end up chucking javelins and maybe killing a couple on the floor while they pepper us with arrows. Maybe we need some way of getting cover? It would be hard to throw a javelin while hiding under a wagon

Constance: Agreed.

Constance: Maybe one person with wagon, one in the back under cover and one hidden elsewhere?

‪Bronan: I’m thinking maybe a stage coach style kind thing with ‘supplies’ wagon behind with the net thrower, that way someone on the stagecoach can chuck javelins etc and we can get into cover when we need to, we could hitch the net thrower to the stage coach

‪Bronan: Obviously, Bronan would be saying this in broken Bronanese which I am happy to type out if you want?

DM: Probably unnecessary in this case!

Constance: How would one go about throwing nets?

Constance: Or rigging something to do so?

Bronan: Kind if like a bolas thrower?

Constance: I was thinking maybe get some alchemist fire? Hunting traps? Dig holes covered with nets type thing?

Constance: I don’t know what a bolas thrower is

‪Bronan: A bolas is basically a weighted rope that was used to ensure people, a bolas thrower is not something that comes up easily in Google, but I swear I’ve seen some form of pedestal based weapon that slings them at people

‪Bronan: With a horizontal movement

‪Bronan: Ensnare*

DM: Yeah, basically a ballista that shoots bolas’s

‪Bronan: Yeah

‪Bronan: But maybe with nets? I know it’s essentially a siege weapon but can always ask!

DM: So you are looking for some ranged attacks and some ways to keep them grounded, including ranged ways of keeping them down?

‪Bronan: Pretty much, I won’t be able to fly until level 14

‪Bronan: Unless you were thinking of setting up a stationary trap Constance? Not sure we want to be digging much with the worms around but we could always try to summon the works to attack the bird people?

‪Bronan: (furiously tries to figure out if we can full on sandworm ride the purple worms)

DM: Ha.

DM: Summoning sandworms?

DM: Nature check

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 11 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 30 – Consume

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang is deep underground, beneath the volcanic island The Middle Sister. There is lava, scratching noises and weird psychic voices. Creepy stuff.

Download this episode (right click and save)

Map of the caves (and some snacks). We are the assortment of figures in the bottom right as we entire the caverns. The 4 counters are the Zombie Squad. Up and to the right is the room with the treasure, to the left where we meet Gloop and the other oozes. In this episode we start at the pool in the middle of the map (the black circle surrounded by 4 dots), and fight in the top right room.

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set