Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 40 – Biltong Pete

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

After the tragic and pointless death of a party member, the gang is now faced with the infamous and mysterious Biltong Pete, who has arrived in possession of the final rod of power needed to save the world, but with his guns drawn…

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 18: …Is That in Character?

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 17, find it here!

 

DM: I will be in Cormyra for some months Bronan, I wish to consult their archives. After that, I am afraid I don’t know where I’ll be! But I would be happy if the fates set us on the same paths again

DM: Yes Constance?

Constance: We too have had some dealings with the mayor and found his “expertise” in arcane matters wanting.

DM: Aha

DM: Did it perhaps end with him attempting to acquire some destructive knowledge or power from you? I don’t like the cut of his jib

‪Bronan: Mmm-hmmm (Bronan rearranges his loincloth)

DM: Well, I hope you didn’t give him what he seeks

DM: His agents watching us depart makes me think not

DM: Chep has listened to all of this and seems very happy to be part of current intrigue.

‪Bronan: We watched? Thought it too early

DM: You didn’t see? Second storey window of the house with the white door, and the ‘sleeping’ beggar child in the alley by Albo’s

‪Bronan: Scarf-mayor a nasty little peeping skoll

Constance: I wait until Chep goes to pee or something

DM: Okay, he wanders off to check the horses occasionally

Constance: I lean in and whisper to Moira, “I think our paths have crossed for a reason, we must find a way to talk in private, and soon”

DM: She looks pensive. Why not now? Bronan, offer Chep another ale and he will be asleep shortly

‪Bronan: (bowchickawowow)

DM: So is that what you do?

Constance: Yeah, wait till he sleeps and get her attention and wander off a bit. Out of earshot of him

‪Bronan: Yup, it would be out of character for Bronan not to give people ale

DM: All of you wandering off?

Faustus: 17

DM: Faustus, as you tell your tale Chep seems very enthralled by its action packed nature

DM: Hoo boy! That sure was a goodun. I’ll tell you folks the tale of Greenbeard’s glaive tomorrow on the ride to town, I’m tireder than a Fox in a cathouse

DM: Chep heads off to sleep. You are alone with Moira, who mumbles some words and gestures at Chet.

DM: He won’t hear us now, she says

Constance: Legend.

Constance: So this powerful artefact which you carry. The mayor asked you to bring it, or you offered to?

DM: I’ve been here a while, looking for a way to destroy it. I heard rumours among some…unsavoury types in Cormyra that this Mayor Skrell was interested in examining artefacts linked to evocation magic. I asked around and in Cormyra, nobody has even heard of him

Constance: Wait, what? None in Cormyra know of the mayor?

DM: None of the academics I asked, or the rumours I gathered

Constance: That seems a little strange given Al’shashs proximity to the city

‪Bronan: Maybe Scarf-mayor wears scarf name, maybe skrell not mayor name

‪Bronan: That way when he not wash hand it not matter people know him to be skrell cause his name is actually frank

DM: I’m sure the bureaucracy know of him, or the nobility

DM: I was asking scholars of theoretical magics and a few old adventurers in bars. My connections here do not go deep

DM: But al’shash, despite its proximity, is a backwater. Nobody in Cormyra cares for the desert- their attention is north to the great mountains, or east to the sea

Constance: Allow me to cut to the chase. We too have come across a powerful artefact, at the behest of the mayor, though we did not know that it was him at the time.

Constance: Bronan, show her.

‪Bronan: I pull the gem out of the loincloth pouch

DM: She stares at it for a long time, and then sighs

DM: Where did you get this? Do you know what he wanted?

Constance: We took it, from a distant tomb. And we begin to believe that we know.

DM: Well. At a glance I can see it is trouble. I’ve trouble enough in my life. So what is your plan, adventurers? High tailing it to Cormyra and away?

Constance: In fact we were hoping to find some who could help us stop the mayor from his destruction.

DM: She presses her fingers against temples

DM: A treacherous path

Constance: Perhaps, but I have heard that all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing. Or heh, good women.

DM: Too true. My fear is in what help you can find from cormyra. The sultan is…not predictable

DM: And there are many who would take that gem for their own

Constance: Oh really? How so?

Constance: The same could be said for whatever is in that bag.

DM: His mood waxes and wanes with the tides, they say

DM: She smiles

DM: Well, as to that, I am not so helpless

DM: And aside from you three none know of it

Constance: Four.

Constance: *gestures towards chep*

DM: Chep is asleep, and I cast a spell of silence around him

DM: Ah. I told the story you mean? Chep knows no details

Constance: Yes but you mentioned the contents whilst he was awake (no?)

Constance: Fair.

Constance: What do you intend to do with it?

DM: Even you only know it is powerful. And, I can hide if I need to

DM: (with which, her appearance changes to that of a well armoured orc warrior for a few seconds)

DM: I intend to destroy it. That gem- you could use the spell, ridding it of its potential, if you could find somewhere you deemed safe

DM: But my fear is that the mayor will not stop with these two failings. His wizard is…incompetent but potentially potent

DM: The sultan may fail you. My only counsel is to trust in yourselves, and do not disclose this gem to anyone you do not fully trust. It could wreak much destruction

Constance: You met his wizard?

Constance: We had assumed that he had one at his side, but were unable to confirm it.

DM: Yes. I showed them my ring of fire breath and I asked if it was as potent as I feared. Ii didn’t trust him with the real truth

DM: He seemed young, and brash. Too wrapped in his own devices to take notice of an old woman in travelling robes

DM: When it became clear the mayor was not the person I needed, I took my leave.

Constance: Fair.

Constance: If you would rather not get involved with this, as you have suggested, could you at least introduce us to someone in Cormyra that would? Or at least that could give us more information.

DM: Of course

DM: The Sand Spire is the best adventurers tavern in Cormyra. It sits on the south bridge over Cormyra river

‪Bronan: Moira friend, Bronan want to thank you, you seem helpful and nice. Hope sir dribbles help with loss of friend. He very wise. Bronan not know how he can help moira. But know that if Bronan can, he will

DM: The sultan holds public office once a week, but for this, seek his Chamberlain Xo. Tell him I sent you, and he will hopefully expedite the process.

DM: Thank you Bronan. I’m sure our oaths will cross again, but for now I must seek knowledge. Seek me out when you have solved this mayor problem and perhaps we can work on an adventure of our own!

‪Bronan: Yes, Bronan have dream that maybe moira can help with. *wistfully looks into fire* Bronan want to ride desert worm like horse, feel wind in hair

DM: Her eyes widen

‪Bronan: But other adventure fine too:)

DM: I once saw a horse eaten whole by a purple worm, Bronan. That sounds spectacular, but go careful!

‪Bronan: Bronan wait until stronger and faster, until can run like cheetah and jump like jackrabbit

‪Bronan: Hey Constance, you want Moira friend to look at stick?

Constance: What this? It’s just a stick Bronan

‪Bronan: Hmm it glow when you hit birdmen

‪Bronan: The beers doesn’t do that, thought it odd

‪Bronan: Oh well, fancy ale or snack? Bronan cook?

DM: Moirs politely does not do an arcana check on your staff

DM: And accepts an ale from bronan

DM: Any other questions for Moira guys?

‪Bronan: Not from me!

Faustus: Nope I’m good.

Constance: Not that I can think of

DM: The next morning as you approach Cormyra, Chep finally tells you the tale of Greenbeard’s glaive

DM: Greenbeard was a mighty warrior, whose mission in life was to defeat the greatest and largest monsters

DM: Always with him his glaive, a mighty tool wrought of black steel and worked with fine magics

‪Bronan: Nice, good weapon good to have!

DM: He once fought a dinosaur, deep in an ancient volcano. He warred with a clan of bullettes. he crushed a roper, plucked a roc, and even wrestled dragons

DM: So I know of him because he came to the desert

DM: To hunt the purple wyrm!

DM: Thrice he hunted, thrice he succeeded. Three worms, 70ft, 80ft, 90ft

DM: But then he heard of a worm bigger than all others. Over 100ft of muscle and hate, the great wyrm. So Greenbeard took his glaive and he went to the deepest south desert, where the red grass ends and the sand turns black

DM: And was never seen again

DM: But! I heard from the desert nomads, every now and then on a full moon there is a gleam from the south- moonlight shining off Greenbeard’s glaive, stuck as it is in the hide of the great wyrm!

DM: As Chep finishes his tale, above you to the north Cormyra comes into view. The city stands on a rocky plateau above the grasslands, a mess of spires and towers and great halls. At the base of the plateau, slums and traders. And at the south of the plateau the falls, the great river cormyra leaving its source and wending its way towards you

DM: As you wend your way up the steep path to the city, Moira hops off. Good luck gang! Remember, I’ll be in the archives for a few weeks if you need me. Be careful!

DM: Chep drops you off in a dusty plaza in the centre of town. Need directions folks? A good pub, the sultan’s palace, a nice inn?

‪Bronan: All of them, a place to get some work, and a bring your own beer food place

DM: The Sand Spire on the south bridge or Old Whitaker’s for pubs (and both are inns), Sultan’s palace is the giant building made of marble by the waterfall,  Abed’s Falafel Tavern allows bring your own beer, and for work you can always try the Mercantile Square

DM: You folks take care now, I have to go deliver some mail!

Constance: I’d like to try and follow Chep. To make sure he’s on the level

‪Bronan: Bronan not really good at hide, want me to come with? Or meet later?

‪Bronan: If Constance wants backup, I’ll go with, otherwise to mercantile square to work as a day labourer in demolition (I have my own portable ram)

DM: So Constance is spending at least part of the day following Chep, and bronan wants to make some quick going at the mercantile square- Faustus, what’s your day plan? Are you all meeting back here at a certain time?

Faustus: Just wander round an scope out the place I think.

DM: Alright. Constance, stealth check for me. Faustus, investigation. Bronan, strength to see how much you can smash in a day?

Constance: 9

Faustus: 10

DM: You spend a few hours shadowing Chep as he sends his way across the city, finally making it to a warehouse with ‘Cormyra Mail’ writ over the door. Just before taking his cart into the warehouse, Chep sees you and waves and smiles

‪Bronan: 9:(

DM: Faustus you spend your time wandering the city. You quickly identify the Mercantile Square, the sultans palace, and some points of interest- a temple to some sort of moon God, a guardhouse and jail, and some sort of magic college

‪Bronan: But, using the ram gives me +4 so maybe 13?

DM: Bronan you get hired for the afternoon as a wrecker. You smash all afternoon, wrecking an old house much faster than your co-workers. After a few hours you are tired, but the house is just rubble. The foreman pays you 5 gold, and a skin of honey mead for helping him finish the job a day early

DM: You all meet back in the square where you were dropped off in the early evening. What would you like to do?

DM: Faustus, you also noticed not many beggars, this upper city seems pretty affluent. Quite a lot of military uniforms around actually

DM: Where to, adventurers! (staying in this square a few people have tried to sell you dates and figs)

Constance: I reckon we head to that Sand Spire inn for some food and a bed.

DM: Great. The sand spire sits on the south bridge, a wide granite bridge crossing the cormyra river, whose source sits below the sultans palace. Just beyond the bridge, you can make out the falls

DM: When you arrive its clear this is a pub frequented by travellers and many strange types. The innkeeper leans across the bar and smiles at you- he is jaundiced and fat, but beneath the fat you see bulging muscles. He has thinning hair and an unkempt beard, but is smiling happily

DM: Welcome folks. I be Burliman, keeper o the sand spire. Bed, drink, food, good company? We have all that and more, and all for a reasonable rate

‪Bronan: Greetings Burliman, how much for room and board?

DM: 1 gold gets you a week, 2 gold gets you a week and stew once a day. Ale is a silver piece per cup, and no drinking outside ale in the pub! (he gestures at your keg) unless you pay a gold surcharge, or fill it up at least a gold’s worthm then you can do what you like

DM: Also, if you fight, you pay for damages. If you don’t want to pay, we get the city guard to slap you in irons. Not that that will be a problem I’m sure!

DM: So three rooms? Three rooms and stew?

Constance: A room and stew for me!

Bronan: Bronan pay for week and stew for Faustus and Constance and room for bronan

DM: That’ll be five gold

Constance: There’s no need for that Bronan! Save your money for some of this gentlemans fine ale

DM: He hands you three keys and two bowls and points at a big cauldron in the centre of the room

DM: There are currently a few young women playing dice at a back table, a few tables of dusty men drinking, and in a shadowy corner, absolutely still, a figure in a cloak sat perfectly still over a mug of ale, face hidden, hands gloved

Constance: I would like to go play dice with the women

DM: Sure, how do you approach them?

Constance: “Hello ladies! May I join your game? It has been some time since I played!”

‪Bronan: ( if Constance paid for her own roo. And board. Imma get myself some soup so still have 1gp in the pocket)

DM: That works bronan

DM: The ladies say, oh, you play knuckle dice? Superb, a fourth player is always welcome. Join us please. We are Honesty, Faith, and Virtue

Constance: What a happy coincidence! I am Constance

DM: Welcome constance

DM: Knuckle dice is a simple game, you know it Constance. You can happily play for as long as you wish. If you are really trying to win make an Int check. Otherwise no worries

DM: Any questions or chat for the ladies?

DM: Bronan, faustus, what are you up to?

Constance: Ugh. 6 on int

DM: They let you win a round out of pity, eventually

Constance: During the game I chat with them idly. Where are you from do you come here often etc etc

DM: They are all from Krym, a city many hundreds of miles north. They have travelled here to petition the sultan over some grazing rights, as they are sheep farmers

DM: Simply passing through, and heard the sand spire had a great view of the famous falls of Cormyra!

DM: And yourself?

Constance: Alshash to the south. Have you heard of it?

DM: I’m afraid not, says honesty, Faith also seems clueless

DM: Virtue says, isn’t that a desert town? I once knew a man from al’shash, he was full of tall tales about birdmen and dogmen and giant snakeys

Constance: I call Bronan over.

‪Bronan: Yes constance Friend?

Constance: Tell these fine ladies the tales of the dog men and worms.

Bronan: Sneaky dogmen. Once Bronan have to train dogmen, but dogman bit Bronan here (shows bite mark) then we find hunter dogman which kill giant purple worm.

‪Bronan: One day Bronan ride worm across desert

‪Bronan: I give the barman my last gold and take a mug of ale from my barrel

‪Bronan: Did dice lady know that dogmen like to laugh? Always laughing but horrible to house train

Faustus: Faustus is drinking quietly at the bar and scoping out the place.

DM: Grand. Perception faustus? Performance/charisma bronan?

‪Bronan: 19!

DM: The ladies are all very impressed with bronan, and buy contance and bronan a mug of mead each

DM: And invite bronan to join them in a five wayvgame of knuckle dice

‪Bronan: Woop woop 5way

DM: …is that in character?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 19 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 39 – Roscoe’s Wild Ride

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang are still in the Rookwood, trying to find clues to defeating the world-ending darkness. While trying to decide whether they should go into a dangerous room surrounded by boiling muddy water, they’re approached by a ghost!

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 17 – Straw Lice

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 16, find it here!

 

DM: Well. This appears to be you sitting down to a war council. How you proceed is up to. you have the tsunami gem. You know the location of the sorcerous girl. And you believe you know the mayor’s plan

Bronan: (plot twist, he’s the mage and he’ll use his bacteria laden hands to cast biological warfare tsunami)

‪Bronan: Bronan plan simple, hit with axe, maybe use net thrower, or smoke bomb

‪Bronan: Mainly the beers

‪Bronan: And Faustus friends use ninja skill to throw javelin and smack with godsword

‪Bronan: Constance friend use gnollstick and fist to beat Scarf-mayor

Faustus: Paladin-Ninja dual class.

Bronan: (for the guy in chainmail, you are the silent killer!)

Faustus: Exactly like diabetes

DM: And shit, chainmail!? Disadvantage in stealth rolls from now I’m pretty sure!

Faustus: I was doing them last time in the canyon bit. Can’t remember if it did earlier.

Bronan: (mayor better hope he has his insulin handy amiright? Also Constance can lay out some status effects, we could paint the mayor across the room like a pollock)

‪Bronan: Canyon is the only stealthing?

Faustus: That appears to be correct!

DM: Fair enough fair enough!

Faustus: Only stealth I seem to have done anyway

‪Bronan: I feel that it’s probably fair to give Bronan disadvantage on stealth too, he does have a pug in his loincloth pouch

‪Bronan: But we all know Bronan doesn’t really actively sneak, he just shuts up for a bit

Constance: Yeah. Chain mail is heavy armour. Disadvantage in stealth rolls

‪Bronan: Don’t think we should use gem, might harm town

‪Bronan: (also, the scorpion bodies, can we milk some venom from them?)

DM: You can try!

DM: 3 bodies, so 3 potential vial, roll 3 survival checks

‪Bronan: Awesome

‪Bronan: It started out so well…21, 7 and a natty 1

DM: You get one vial

DM: Get cocky

DM: And on the third one prick yourself with the stinger

DM: Make a constitution save please

Faustus: Haha

‪Bronan: It’s a 6

DM: You feel froth forming at the corner of your mouth

DM: And you feel woozy

DM: And the world starts to spin

‪Bronan: Bronan sit down, not feel good

‪Bronan: Bring Bronan bucket!

DM: It was a tiny sting so you feel alright after a few minutes. But feels like after you drink a batch of funny ale!

‪Bronan: Hmm, if we find more scorpion, Bronan have idea to make strong ale

‪Bronan: But for now, which friend want vial of tail juice? Bronan not really want, probably end up stinging self with it or throwing it in Scarf-mayors eyes

Constance: So. What do we know?

Bronan: Scarf-mayor is wizard or has wizard, want to flood bird people to open smuggling route

‪Bronan: Melbos not like mayor, want birdmen dead

‪Bronan: Guard only drink 2 ale when on duty

‪Bronan: Also, Scarf-mayor has friends who try to cage melody for the DRM from sand pirate bay, maybe Scarf-mayor want it to unleash torrent of water to get rid of free bird people so he can take their ore money

DM: That’s a pretty solid summary

Constance: So we head to Cormyra for now? Then what? Enlist help somehow?

Five factions known-

 

Mayor = bad

Melbos = shady (at best)

Blessed Wind = good

Sand Pirates = risky

Cormyra = ?”

DM: And within cormyra at least a few large criminal syndicates as well as the sheik (sultan? king? Emperor? You aren’t sure)

Faustus: We could go scope out Cormya to see what’s going down?

Constance: Sounds like the best plan we have

‪Bronan: Fair enough, to cormyra-town!

DM: Superb

DM: The main road to fringes should take six days walking, or there is a mail wagon that goes every dawn from the centre of town you can jump on for 6 gold pieces each that will be guarded and make the journey in three days

Bronan: Bronan only have 5 gold, have ale and portable ram though

Faustus: I have 25 so if we want to do that I can sub you.

DM: Are you going to try catching it from the centre of town. Or on the road outside of town

Bronan: Thank you friend Faustus, you need door smash down, enemy smash down or ale, Bronan always there. Bronan pay back as soon as can

‪Bronan: If we go to centre town, more chance Melbos or Scarf-mayor find us

DM: So heading for the main road to try and intersect the mail cart?

Bronan: (Bronan is not really adverse to seeing the mayor, but doesn’t want to meet Melbos as he wants to smash the mayor but don’t want to let down Melbos, so I’m happy either way)

DM: (melbos doesn’t like the mayor!)

Bronan: (yeah but bronan said he would smash birdmen, and only smashed 2)

‪Bronan: Fah, it Friday, Bronan feel want to live life, centre of town it is

DM: So you guys are heading to the centre of town to try and catch the dawn mail cart…

‪Bronan: Unless anyone says otherwise 🙂

Constance: Yeah as long as we have the cash!

Constance: I only have about 8 gold

Bronan: Think it was 6, and Faustus agreed to covet the extra 1 for Bronan so we should be good

‪Bronan: Also, I have a literal barrel of ale, I’m sure for drinks they would be willing to give us a reduction in price

Constance: Where is this fucking mail cart. We’ve been waiting forever

DM: It’s been a bit busy, if only we were playing a text rpg whose whole point was the lack of pressure on participants

DM: But lo! In the centre of town, the mail cart sets up. The driver is an old man, with one snaggle tooth, an unkempt beard, but a pristine red uniform and black cap

DM: 18 gold to Cormyra, folks! Well, let’s call it fifteen and a few mugs of ale en route?

DM: The only other person waiting in line is a middle ages woman with a hemp sack, who looks very concerned when you arrive, and mutters something about being in a rush

‪Bronan: Bronan looks at the snaggletooth, looks at Constance and Faustus and then hands over his 5gp

‪Bronan: Bronan helps the lady with her bag after doing the whole lift the beer keg inside thing

DM: My name’s Chep, says the driver. We got six days o’ ridin on some lovely sand roads and then the hardstone line straight to cormyra itself!

DM: She politely declines your offer

DM: And holds her bag very close, between her knees

Constance: I too hand over my five gold and utter the common saying of my people. “Cheers drive”

DM: Anything else folks? Chep adjusts his crotch and spits on the sand. Never did like al’shash, not enough taverns or whores

Faustus: I hand over my gold and nod.

Bronan: Chep know good story? Want to hear good ghost story?

DM: I’d love to hear one, once we set off. I’ll trade you,a story for a story! If you each tell me a good story,I’ll tell you the tale of Greenbeard’s Glaive

DM: The mail coach is simple enough, a basic canopy over a standard coach, four horses pulling. Chep has a crossbow loaded on the seat next to him, and the four passengers can fit easily in the seats behind

Bronan: Sound good to me. Lady inside, you maybe cover ears, Bronan tell ghost story from Sir dribbles

DM: It is very early and so as you leave Al’shash square and hit the road, you do so unwatched

DM: It’s six days on the road of trading occasional stories. What are yours:

‪Bronan: Ok, do you want it in Bronan speech? Outline of plot with some in character bits for effect?

DM: Second seems good

DM: Constance and faustus, get thinking! Also, what are all your passive perceptions, and are any of you doing anything out of the ordinary over the six days?

Bronan: My passive is 13

‪Bronan: “so chep, you may want to have an ale for this one..” and I proceed to set up a tale of a guy who used to see things in the corner of his eye, movement, glimpses of some far away movement when he saw his reflection in the Lake, mirror etc

‪Bronan: Then one day he sit staring at Lake for whole day, watching and looking for the movement

‪Bronan: And he saw figure in distance, moving closer

‪Bronan: Closer

‪Bronan: Basically when it got closer the person saw….

DM: Oh shit

DM: So what happened?

‪Bronan: Flying behind him. Arm raising up (Bronan reaches around behind the driver)

‪Bronan: Until it right behind, suddenly it speak, but creature had no mouth, it speak in his mind, it say “tag, your it” and it grabbed his shoulder(Bronan will grab the drivers shoulder)

‪Bronan: (if Bronan makes him jump he’ll give a good natured laugh and say) seriously though, we did find his body impaled on top of 70ft tree

Faustus: (Phone is dying so will just insert mine now for whenever makes sense, also has to be quick!) Faustus tells the tale of a particularly difficult blue half dragon that he hunted down and killed. Days in a forest, covered in mud, trapped him and killed him eventually. (Phone dead!)

DM: Performance checks for every story please. Bronan, loved it

DM: Faustus, did you have to escape on a horse called choppa?

‪Bronan: Awww shit, I got a 4

‪Bronan: Goddamnit, really got to remember I’m not a bard

DM: Bronan, your story is amazing

DM: Everyone is entranced

DM: But when you do the prank end and grab the Chep, he is so enthralled he yelps and steers the mail coach off the road. Your mumbled coda regarding finding the man in the tree is perhaps lost in the confusion and chaos this causes

Bronan: I take sir dribbles out and say “sir dribbles, your stories almost got us into trouble again” *snort bark*

DM: In return for Bronan’s tale, Chep tells a story- now, a paladin told me this. I met him in a bar, he was drinking and drinking and scratching and scratching at his crotch. So I asks him his story. It’s a short tale of a paladin who falls in love with a girl in a red dress who stands every day atop a hill he sees far away across a mighty river. Finally he crosses the river, battling the elements, monsters, and actual elementals.when he finally arrives to profess his love he climbs the hill but she is…misshapen. he gets closer and closer, and arrives with his dented armour and bloodied sword to find a scarecrow in a red dress.

DM: I ask him if that’s what drove him to drink, and he says yes, nothing gets rid of straw lice

DM: (chep slaps the wagon)

Bronan: Lol

Constance: Constance tells the story of a monk, chosen to fulfil an ancient prophecy, despite being completely unfit for the role on the surface. He was fat and clumsy. But the master saw potential. Training alongside five others of skill and talent far surpassing his, he was never their equal. Until through a variety of unlikely circumstances, he finds himself the only one able to defend their monastery, and the village where his adoptive father runs a noodle shop, from an evil monk out for revenge. Turns out that he was so fat, the evil monk cannot beat him. He beats the shit out of him with his fatness and saves the monastery.

DM: Ha

DM: Performance check Constance

DM: Solid stuff

Constance: 18.

Constance: (I’m hoping you all got that reference)

‪Bronan: (yup, glad of end to end encryption, Disney don’t play!)

DM: Ha, yes. Your story is greatly appreciated by the crowd. Even the mysterious quiet woman with her hemp sack (which never leaves her side) smiles

Constance: Also my passive perception is 12

DM: Thanks.And in fact, when Chep says “a story must pay for a story” the women speaks up

DM: It is evening, and you are around a fire away from the road. It’s dark, and she takes off her cloak to show expensive and intricate robes

DM: She put down her hemp sack in front of the fire and breathes deep

DM: I…Was a wizard. (she casts a minor illusion of a duck to illustrate her power, producing a small wand from her robes). Many years ago I travelled the land with two friends, a cleric and a sorceror, seeking adventure and fortune. After a decade of slaying monsters and righting wrongs, we heard tell of an artefact. The artefact in this very bag. We fought our way through undead monstrosities to find it. The cleric died deep in the underdark, alone and abandoned. They had left me for dead in the stow slave pits. When finally I escaped I tracked them, and I found her. The sorceror had abandons her to a hungry illithid, and fled with the artefact

DM: I found him. Dead. He had foolishly tried to use the artefact himself, without commiting. a half done job is no good, no good at all.

DM: And so now I must bear the death of my friends and carry this burden, too powerful to use, or destroy, without being used or destroyed oneself

DM: She leans back, looking sad

DM: What kind of story were that? Chep says. No whoores, no booze, no monsters. Just sad shit!

‪Bronan: Bronan pats her on shoulder, gives her ale

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles want to say he sorry for your loss (I plop sir dribbles on her lap like a therapy dog)

DM: She seems to appreciate the ale and dog

Bronan: Bronan curious about artifact, and people who live under ground. Where do they get hops needed for beer?

DM: She smiles. They use mushrooms to make beer, bronan

Bronan: Mushroom make beer? That crazy talk…mushroom ketchup and Bronan on board, but beer? So they mush mushroom add yeast and water?

DM: She shrugs. Something like that! It’s not very tasty

Bronan: Bronan think they spend too much time out of sun, they go crazy

DM: I once saw a slave brew mushroom beer so potent it sent the guards blind. That’s actually how I escaped!

Bronan: Bronan ponders this for a bit, then says “Bronan find mushroom and try”

‪Bronan: (so far, scorpion whiskey and mushroom beer are on his to do list. Along with riding a sand worm)

DM: (that is a fucking tight to do list)

DM: The lady introduced herself as Moira but the way. You can Amor history checks or perception on her if you fancy

‪Bronan: Yup imma do both

‪Bronan: Being the bastion of intelligence

‪Bronan: 3 on history,

‪Bronan: 22 on perception

DM: None of it ringing any bells

Constance: A wizard you say? Where did you study?

DM: I studied in a land you may not have heard of. East and east and east and east again, a few thousand miles of open sea. I come from the sword coast

DM: Bronan, perception wise

DM: She seems hard as oak. Proper tough stuff. Maybe older than she appears/holds herself. a few scars on her hands, one on her neck. Robes are opulent but also cut in a way she could move fast if necessary. Wand looked magic as fuck, and so does a ring she is wearing

Constance: Indeed I have not heard of this place friend moira. Did your compatriots travel from there also?

DM: Aye. And from there I left, seeking a way destroy this…artefact.

DM: The mayor of al’shash claimed an expertise in the destruction of artefacts, but I fear even here there is no hope

‪Bronan: You try hitting it with axe? Or melt it in vat of molten iron, then making it into axe?

DM: She laughs

DM: You three remind me of my youth, and my friends

DM: Thank you for listening to my story

DM: You are on your final night before Cormyra, outside a nondescript market town making camp: desert has given way to verdant plains. Inyhe distance, occasionally large beasts can be heard grazing

DM: Faustus tells his story, in return for the tale of greenbeards glaive

DM: Performance from faustus for that. Meantime, any questions for Moira or Chep?

Bronan: Moira will you keep in touch? Bronan and Sir dribbles want to make sure you OK and tell you about our journey

Constance: Upon hearing moira mention the mayor I perk up.

Constance: The mayor!?

DM: I will be in Cormyra for some months bronan, I wish to consult their archives. After that, I am afraid I don’t know where I’ll be! But I would be happy if the fates set us on the same paths again

DM: Yes constance?

 

Come back next Monday for Chapter 18 of The Cursed Tomb!

 

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Dungeon Master’s Guide

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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

 

Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 38 – The Boiling Lake

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang are still in the Rookwood, trying to find clues to defeating the world-ending darkness. There are a lot of trap corridors, so they’re not making a lot of progress. Maybe they will this week!

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set

Age of Sigbrah Ep.45: Lightening Men TM

Sponsors

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Download this episode (right click and save)

Gary and Andy are back and take a look at the new Path to Glory book… full of Starlight Lizards(TM) and Lightening Men(TM)

In this episode we delve into the brand new AoS supplement, Path to Glory. We cover everything from the story of Gulgaz Stoneklaw and his rise to power, how to create warband and grow it throughout the campaign, to discussing what new armies we will both be growing through a Path to Glory campaign.

If you would like to download the Path to Glory Warband Roster, you can find that here.

We also covered the awesome upcoming Kickstarter from our sponsors Mierce Miniatures. This will be for their dungeon crawler board game called Darkholds. All currently available information can be found here, but make sure to keep your eyes peeled for the Kickstarter itself, launching early August.

We hope you enjoy it. If you would like to leave us a 5* review in iTunes that would be great and thank you to everyone who has done this so far. If you would like to get in contact via email or social media then please do, links are below

 

 

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Total Reroll Equinox: Episode 37 – Super Tetanus

Welcome to Total Reroll Equinox, our new actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! We’re starting in a brand new world created by our DM Ian, with new characters (but returning players from our previous game!), so join us in the world of Saugin as we explore (or try to explore) the land of TarTiir!

The gang are in the Rookwood trying to find the final rod of power and a way to defeat it and save the world. So far they have made it down one corridor, and now one of them is missing and naked. This is a mess.

Download this episode (right click and save)

You can find a little bit of background on the world of Saugin and TarTiir here!

Our intro and outro music is ‘Welcome to TarTiir’ by Ed Curry. Featured image by Kekai Kotaki.

Enjoy!

Fancy supporting the site? You can pick up all of the 5th edition D&D books from Wizards of the Coast using our Amazon links below, and we’ll get a cut with no extra cost to you!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

Starter Set