So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 36, find it here!
Bronan: Normally liches die if you put fire stick on them or salt
Bronan: We can’t really leave the skull here, and Bronan feel touching it is bad idea, anyone got a pouch and Bronan can scoop it up like with Sir dribbles nuggets
Constance: I agree. Perhaps we should secure it until we can find someone who knows more or do some research.
Bronan: I mean, Bronan have pouch but it sewn into loincloth and not feel comfortable with blood skull near junk, it might get hungry and take a bite
Constance: We can wrap it in my bedroll and stick it in this backpack.
DM: So you are picking it up, wrap in bedroll, into knapsack?
DM: Well! You are at the oasis. You think the airship wreckage you heard of should be somewhere within a day or so south west
DM: You have a reasonable amount of food, and it now seems this oasis should be usable for drinking water
Bronan: Fill the keg and set off at night when it’s cooler?
DM: Easily done. Taking besh?
DM: Who has the potion, who has the skull gem?
Constance: I have the skull gem.
Constance: (What did the scroll say again?)
DM: You set out south west? this is the deep desert, very sparse short red grass, fine sand, long dune ridges. Almost nothing in the way of plants beyond the grass, no birds in the sky. The air is still, and as the day passes the heat is almost unbearable
DM: Is your plan to head south west and explore, seeking the wrecked airship?
Bronan: Yup think so
Constance: Yup I believe so.
Constance: Oh wait!
Constance: We were going to leave a sign that the water was safe to drink
Faustus: We are sure it is right?
Bronan: Bronan can drink if you like?
Bronan: I drink some water
DM: Tastes crisp and clear
Bronan: Mmm taste like stream of hilltribe
Faustus: Cool. Yeah let’s leave a note.
Faustus: Or sign.
Faustus: I’ll take the scroll if we hadn’t decided that.
DM: And as night falls after resting (long rest health wise) you strike out into the desert, seeking sign of this crashed ship
DM: You know south desert is home to great purple wyrms, sporadic gnoll tribes, and unknown monsters and wildness
DM: What is your marching order/plan?
Constance: I’ll do my usual scout ahead. As I can dash back or out of trouble if shit gets real
Constance: But never out of sight of the boys
Bronan: Forage and get food
Constance: Looking for signs of tracks or anything off in the distance
Faustus: On the lookout for danger nearby
DM: One of you needs to navigate
Faustus: Oh I’ll do that
Bronan: I’m proficient in survival, can I aid him between foraging?
Bronan: Onward towards the airship?
DM: Silhouetted by moonlight, three figures atop a dune covered in sparse red grass. Endless stars circle above. They know they are near to their goal
DM: And they all roll perception
DM: There is a shape. A jagged inky blot against the ebony of the dunes at night. You can only just make it out. perhaps a dozen dune ridges south of you? Something large, something irregular, something different from the endless sand. Perhaps the airship…
Bronan: Hey friends (Bronan stage whispers) there is Shape over there, it’s the ship yes? We sneak like dogmen?
Constance: Sneaking sounds like a good plan.
DM: Great, can you make me stealth checks and perception checks please, and a marching order! are you taking Besh the camel?
Constance: Stealth was 6, perception was 21. And I’ll go first since I can dodge the fuck away from danger.
Bronan: I got 18 stealth and 22 perception
Bronan: I’ll go middle 🙂
DM: Just Faustus left and then I’ll let you know what happens
Faustus: 15 stealth 8 perception.
DM: And importantly
DM: Yay or nay on camel?
Bronan: At this point of camel speaking and feeding Besh cacti, do we have an unspoken bond?
DM: Not particularly. She behaves like a camel would. Fairly obedient, very dumb
Bronan: She’s no sir dribbles, errm maybe leave her behind?
Bronan: Do we normally do that thing where they tie a foreleg up to let her know not to wander? If so I vote on that
DM: Sure. We will say she is left one dune over
DM: So a few things happen at once. As you sneak down the dune, Constance takes point. Ahead you can clearly see the airship
DM: It is on its side, it’s base facing you, it’s front half buried in a huge dune. A massive rent is torn in its base
DM: Faustus, you are still trying to take this in
DM: Bronan and Constance, you spot the group of huddled shapes around the dying embers of a fire
DM: Bronan immediately crouches low
DM: And Constance goes to do the same, but her footing slips in the soft sand and a small patch of red grass loudly rips free of its roots
DM: By the fire, twenty wide eyes blink open and stare at you. A harsh order is barked, a heap of brush thrown onto the fire illuminating the band- a dozen gnolls, clutching an assortment of rusted iron weapons
DM: One holds a staff wound in leather, trinkets and charms clattering as he points it at you
DM: ‘Pigmen! Pigmen are attacking! Defend Gnollhome!’
DM: Roll initiative…
Bronan: (goddamn that’s a burn, maybe Bronan needs to learn from this and call things by their racial name rather than referring to them with a old macdonald style humanity based reference system) I got 5 ” where pigmen? We smash them too?”
Faustus: Do 4 of the gnolls have eyepatches?
DM: Maybe all of them, based on your bloody perception roll
Constance: (wait what? why do they have eyepatches?)
Faustus: 20 eyes. Dozen gnolls.
Constance: (maths is hard)
Constance: (have they only seen me? or all of us?)
Faustus: Haha 3
DM: They have certainly seen you
DM: Bronan and faustus are further up the dune, so possibly not them
DM: Gnolls, Constance, bronan, faustus
DM: The one with the totem staff casts light on a log by the fire, illuminating a 30ft radius. Constance, let’s say you are at the base of the dune 40ft away and the other two are 60ft from the campfire
DM: The gnoll shaman then grabs three guards and retreats inside
DM: ‘kill them, they musn’t enter!’
DM: Leaving 8
DM: Four have spears, and throw them at Constance.
DM: 15,19,19,19. What’s your AC?
DM: You take fifteen piercing damage as three rough iron spears hit you
Constance: hold the phone a mo
Constance: (you can only take one reaction right? or would I be able to do three?)
DM: Only one
Constance: (then im going to use deflect missiles to try and catch one of these bitches)
Constance: (reduces damage by 1d10 + 2(dex) + 4(monk level)
Constance: (sorry +4 dex)
Constance: (so 1d10+8)
DM: Okay you Cath the first spear, but the second two hit you. Only ten damage total (am I right in thinking you only reduce the damage from one of the missiles?)
Constance: You can use your reaction to deflect or catch the missile when you are hit by a ranged weapon attack. When you do so, the damage you take from the attack is reduced by 1d10 + dex + monk level. If you reduce the damage to 0, you can catch the missile if it is small enough for you to hold in one hand and you have at least one hand free.
Constance: (abridged version from phb)
DM: So yeah. You catch one of them, the other two hit you for ten
DM: And then four gnolls run at you with axes
DM: As you fend off three of the attackers, the fourth leaps at you and strikes a stunning blow with his ragged iron axe
Constance: (hud, so 10 total damage?)
DM: (three attacks for 5 each, but one of them you negated with your kung fu)
DM: And now 8 slashing from that axe crit
DM: And it is your turn
Constance: How far am I from Bronan?
DM: Twenty feet
Constance: Ok. I’m going spend a ki point to use step of the wind to disengage from the four axe dudes. And run towards Bronan, when I get pretty much behind him I throw a dart (which believe is still coated with poison?) at the one who hit me.
Constance: 22 to hit
Constance: 5 piercing.
Constance: I can’t remember what the poison did
Constance: Apparently 2d6 looking back
Constance: A 1 and a 5 for a total of 6 poison damage.
DM: The gnoll falls back stunned and injured
DM: So there are three gnolls by the fire, and twenty feet away four surrounding Constance. Twenty foot up the dune bronan and faustus stand ready
DM: It’s bronan, then faustus to go
DM: The three by the fire seem to be readying more javelins, and the other four content to smash constance to mush
Bronan: I would like to rage, and charge to protect constance
Bronan: Yelling “bbbaaaaaaaaad dogmen go mush mush”
Constance: (I thought I got away from them?)
Constance: (Disengaged with step of the wind and then ran to Bronan)
DM: Oh yes, my mistake
DM: Presume bronan is still charging those four? or is there another plan?
Bronan: Constance got hit, so these dogmen must get hit
Bronan: 18 to hit one
DM: You smash into it with the beers
Bronan: Blood mingles in a spray with the Foam pouring from Bronans mouth 15 slashing damage
Bronan: “filthy dogmen, filthy dog hitting friends, be proper dog people like sir dribbles”
DM: The gnoll, already injured by constance’s poisoned shortsword, crumples into a heap of viscera
Constance: (Rage so multi attack no?)
Bronan: (don’t think so at lvl 4)
Constance: ( oh wait that’s a berserker path thing nevermind)
Faustus: How far away are the other three?
DM: Forty feet
DM: But another one of them runs inside the airship
DM: So now two javelin throwers by the fire
Faustus: Ok I’m going to run towards them 30ft and breath a cone of fire at them which should just get them
Faustus: dex save for both
DM: They both fail, taken by surprise by the burst of flame
Faustus: They each take 9 damage
DM: The howl in pain
DM: And hurl javelins at you
DM: 16 and 19 to hit
Faustus: 19 hits, 16 doesn’t
DM: That’ll be 5 piercing damage
DM: And then the three gnolls by bronan will all attack him
DM: With their rusty hatchets and scimitars
DM: 14,17,18 to hit. Any of those land, bronan?
Bronan: Yup, the 17 and 18
DM: That will be 8 slashing damage
DM: And now it is Constance’s turn
Constance: I’m going to circle behind the ones surrounding Bronan (in the hope of getting flanking?) and smash it in the back of the head with my quarter staff
DM: (no flanking rules in 5th edition)
Constance: (Pretty sure it’s a variant rule, I use it but if it’s not a thing fine)
DM: (not one I’ve used- give advantage if flanking? feel free)
Constance: (Yeah it’s advantage when flanking but not pushing for it, I just made the assumption)
DM: (as I said not one I’ve used, but happy to go for it)
Constance: 23 to hit with staff
Constance: 8 damage
Constance: Then for bonus action I’m going to use a ki point for flurry of blows and kick fuck oot him
Constance: 16 to hit with first, and non natural 20 with second
DM: Both will hit
Constance: 10 damage total
DM: That gnoll is driven to its knees, bloodied, one arm bent at an unnatural angle
DM: From inside the airship you hear a chorus of howls, and the strange chittering laughter of the gnolls
Come back next Monday for Chapter 38 of The Cursed Tomb!
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