So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 34, find it here!
DM: From the top of the dunes you can see a smudge of green that must be Slow Death oasis
DM: So you don’t need a navigation check
DM: But I do need one final d10 roll
Constance: fine. ill step up
Constance: 7
DM: Lucky fella
Constance: is it?
DM: As you near the oasis, so does another group from the northeast- a trade caravan! a dozen laden camels, and four dwarves wrapped in loose silks and headscarves
Constance: do they look armed?
DM: yes. Big scimitars. They see you with your one camel, covered in sand and beaten and knackered, and they halt
DM: The lead dwarf unmasks, showing a slick black beard.
DM: Hail! You seem to have suffered from that rather nasty sandstorm friends. Are you in need of aid? Are you injured?
DM: Three of the dwarves have scimitars, the fourth a hefty battleaxe. All look windbattered.
DM: Are you heading to Slow Death?
Bronan: Bronan think he ok, not head for death,but going to water hole, lost grass ale, Bronan sad 😦
DM: One of the dwarves shakes his head in dismay and offers you a drink from a barrel one one of the camels, bringing you a foaming mug of dwarven beer across
Bronan: (Bronan cheers up noticeably) thank you friend, we walk with you? My name Bronan, and this *hoiks out sir dribbles* is sir dribbles and *gestures to the camel* Besh
Constance: thanks for your kindness strangers, unfortunately we have nothing to offer in return
DM: Well, if you seek slow death, walk with us. many swords make light work, and perhaps we are less likely to find trouble as a group!
DM: Also, when we have arrived and rested, Khazeem’s Kwality Karavan has many wares to help you survive the desert
Bronan: (uh oh, kkk)
Constance: (thats all we need, racist dwarfs)
Faustus: Thank you my friends, we will take you up on your kind offer (insight check for their potential bullshit and eventually ambush?)
Faustus: (That was supposed to be eventual ambush. I’m not planning to ambush them)
DM: (hahaha shit that was unintentional)
DM: Sure, insight check
Faustus: 15
DM: These dwarves seem on the up and up
Constance: (haha. Faustus has just spent ten days staring deeply into his eyes trying to get a measure of him)
DM: Ahead of you, Slow Death. A rocky outcropping, with a stagnant pool at the base of a basalt pillar, water trickling down its face from somewhere atop the twenty foot pillar. a few shrunken and twisted palm trees sit beside the pool
DM: An elf wearing worn leathers in I’m front of the pool, seemingly dead
Constance: perception to see if i can tell if she is rescuable?
DM: Aye
Constance: 12
DM: Very dead
DM: No clear wounds
DM: But coated in sand. Possibly died in the sandstorm?
DM: The dwarves avoid the body, and start taking camels to the basalt pillar to slowly drink the water trickling down it
Faustus: I’d like to ask about the water and the elf. Is the water off the pillar safe to drink?
DM: lead dwarf laughs
DM: It surely is! don’t drink from the pool
DM: As for the elf..
DM: He wanders up to the corpse and kicks it
DM: Dead! Sandstorm eh?
Constance: Why shouldn’t we drink from the pool?
DM: He laughs again
DM: This place is called slow death for a reason! if you drink from the pool, you surely will not survive
DM: I do not know why
Constance: some oasis!
DM: Well! There is the water from the pillar at least
DM: Enough to survive
DM: My friends
DM: Do not climb the pillar though, I beg. It is topped by an ancient shrine. I would recommend you take water, trade with us, and take your leave
Constance: how does the water in the pool look?
DM: Crisp and clear
Constance: hmm, can i give it a medicine check to see if I can work out whats making it poisonous?
DM: Sure
Constance: 15
DM: You can’t spot any poisonous plants, fungi, or dead animals. it appears clean and clear and smells like fresh water
Constance: damn
DM: Ima assuming that is a visual inspection
Constance: I mean yeah.
Constance: Like I don’t really have the apparatus to do anything more
Constance: Unless there is something useful in the herbalism kit
DM: Not tasting it etc?
DM: Nah, that’s more for gathering herbs. Mortar and pestle etc
Constance: That would be pretty dumb.
Constance: Would I think that it would convey any further info?
Constance: I’m proficient in medicine so I guess I would know
DM: Yeah this doesn’t seem to be a herbally or naturally caused poisoning
Constance: Perhaps my good friend Faustus could let me know if he is getting any bad juju vibes
Constance: (FYI the reason I’m so interested in this is that my whole thing is I try to help those in need no matter what the cost. And it seems that desert travellers are in need of not dying from poison water)
Faustus: Yeah I forget the name of the thing, but can I detect any celestial, fiend or undead, or and consecrated or desecrated place or object within 60 feet?
DM: Oh yeah!
DM: Sure
Constance: Divine sense
DM: You detect a desecrated object at the bottom of the pool, buried in the loose sand and pebbles you think
Faustus: I tell everyone that.
DM: The dwarves just focus on watering their camels
Faustus: Do they look irritated or nervous when I say it?
DM: They look worried
DM: We’ll be done with the camels in five minutes and then we’ll be moving on
DM: Do you want any supplies before we leave? We don’t want to be here if you are going to start…interfering. no disrespect intended
Faustus: (Do we even have money to trade? We lost a lot of food right?)
DM: You have enough food for a couple of days
Faustus: (I appear to have 25 gold. Is that roughly what we all have? )
DM: Yeah
Constance: I have just under 10
Constance: I’ve been keeping a note
Constance: I fully understand Kazeem. Perhaps you would like to show us your wares before we sanctify this place.
DM: Of course! We have many fine wares!
DM: Kazeem has many wares, including spices, food, adventuring gear and travelling supplies
DM: He also mentions a few…rarer items, but says perhaps that is better for a time when you are in a more cash rich scenario
Bronan: Bronan would like 5 gold of alcohol please, thirsty
Constance: (Lol. Not even specific? Just alcohol?)
Bronan: (his bond is enamoured with drink and drugs, he’s a high functioning alcoholic l who hasn’t had a drink in a day or so)
Bronan: (and he only has 5 gold)
DM: That will get you a Small barrel of dwarven ale, a large barrel of halfling mead, or two bottles of firewhisky
Bronan: The small barrel if I have the handcart still, otherwise the firewhiskey
Faustus: (We probably need a few more days of rations?)
Bronan: (Bronan can forage, just need water as that’s hard, but I’m guessing he could gather lizards etc)
Faustus: (Get a couple of containers for water then?)
Bronan: (sounds like a plan. Does anyone have any silver, or you’re gonna need to say before Bronan spends it all on whiskey – this is why he is not a rich man!)
Constance: (well the empty barrell might come in handy)
Bronan: (do I reckon I could fit the ale into the axe flask? Leaving the cask empty?)
DM: Yup, sure!
Bronan: Then I do that 🙂
Constance: Lovely. Kazeem. If you return to this place, we will leave a sign that we have purified it of the desecration that plagues these waters. If you find it. Let others know that this oasis is now safe. If instead you find us dead, know that we died trying to improve the lots of those who would wander the desert, so that they may not end as this unfortunate soul did *indicates to dead elf, bows head respectfully*
DM: Inspiration
Constance: Nice.
DM: Aye,what’s your plan?
Constance: So Faustus. You believe there to be something cursed at the bottom of this pool?
DM: Some sort of fairly powerful artefact contaminated with hellish energy
Constance: Who amongst us is the most proficient swimmer?
Faustus: Yes.
Bronan: Bronan strong swimmer
Constance: Ok Bronan. How about we tie a rope around you in case anything goes wrong and if you need us to pull you up, you can tug on it twice.
Bronan: Ok, sound good (Bronan strips off and dives in the pond)
Bronan: (after rope is tied around him)
DM: Okay, you are looking for this source of desecration? Faustian described it as buried in the centre of the oasis, which is about ten foot deep
Bronan: Yup, looking for anything that stands out
DM: Perception check with advantage as faustus told you the vague spot to go for
DM: Who is holding the rope?
Bronan: 23 total
Faustus: I can hold
DM: Bronan, as you swim down through the crystal water, you see something
DM: Buried in the sand is a chest, about 3ft long, 2ft deep, 2ft wide. It is almost completely buried, but you can make out it’s shape. It’s outside seems to be…limestone perhaps? Inscribed with some design or pattern
Bronan: Hmm, I sink down, get in deadlift stance and try to deadlift the chest and push off up and backward to the closest edge of the pool
DM: Great
DM: Make a wisdom save for me please
Bronan: A solid 10
Constance: (Bad time for a meeting. There are adventures to be had!)
DM: Bronan
DM: As you kick off from the base of the water, chest firmly in hand
DM: You feel tendrils of energy creeping from it to you
DM: And you suddenly, instantly, go blind
Bronan: Lol, ok, I continue in the direction I know the edge to be trying to lug the box out
Bronan: (now just need to turn sir dribbles into a seeing eye dog!)
Bronan: (and I get priority cart parking)
Constance: (hahahahah fuck)
DM: You make it spluttering to the side of the oasis, hauling the chest. You can’t see anything but you can hear sir dribbles barking
Constance: Bronan! What have you found!?
Bronan: Errm not sure, Bronan not see, it was a box
Bronan: Also, Bronan think he blind now like blind dave
Constance: Oh no!
Constance: Can I medicine check to see what’s going on?
DM: Sure!
Constance: Balls. 8.
DM: Maybe, maybe the water? Or something in the box?!
Constance: Lol
Constance: Faustus, is this the item that seems to be the source of this desecration?
Faustus: Can I tell with my divine sense?
DM: Yeah, this is it. Some sort of desecrated unholy artefact
DM: Unholy
Faustus: OK. Can I use lay on hands to try and help Bronan? Can heal disease or poison.
DM: Doesn’t seem to have any effect
DM: Bronan, you hear a voice in your head
DM: “A fine form for kazah to take, a fine form. Make this easy big brute”
DM: Wisdom saving throw Bronan
Bronan: Goddamn
Bronan: 12 😦
Bronan: Bronan says out loud, “if kazah want advice on form to take, Bronan happy to show, straight back, stuck out but and pivot hip in lift”
Constance: Uhhh. Who are you talking to Bronan?
Bronan: Is there not person out there who just speak? Kazah??
Bronan: (Bronan starts waving arm around)
Constance: Uh no Bronan. No one said anything.
Bronan: But Bronan hear new voice saying good form to take and strong
DM: Where are you all?
Bronan: Edge of the water with the box for me I guess, though on land
Constance: A few steps back from the edge.
Faustus: Fairly close to Bronan if I just tried lay on hands.
DM: Okay
DM: Bronan, the voice in your head laughs
Bronan: He laughing, sir dribbles? Sir dribbles, come here boy, bring daddy’s loincloth
DM: What are all your passive perceptions
Constance: 12
Faustus: 10
Bronan: 14, Bronan wise, Bronan good at looky look…at least Bronan was good at looky look:(
Constance: (Presumably being blind affects your perception)
DM: Hahaha
DM: As you are leaning forward using lay on hands on bronan
Bronan: I’m hoping for blindsight, that shit would be legit. Daredevil barbarian with pug? Sign me up
DM: The dead elf who had been collapsed at the side of the pool is behind you faustus, and she claws at your head
DM: 19 to hit
DM: An unholy light shines in its eyes as it lurches forward, slamming into you
Come back next Monday for Chapter 36 of The Cursed Tomb!
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The Lost Lighthouse 