So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 25, find it here!
DM: A cockatrice!
DM: Roll initiative (unless you just want to watch)
Bronan: Bronan got a 7, there is some sand in his loincloth
DM: This thing looks like a mix between a bird a lizard and a bat
DM: As you arrive, it pecks past the swordsman and catches his arm, drawing blood. Again the archer screams ‘toril, no!’ And she shoots an arrow
Faustus: Hahaha fuck
Faustus: 3
Faustus: (I’m out for the night unfortunately.)
Constance: (Yeah I’m socialising. Will need to kick this off in the mornin)
DM: (Grand grand)
DM: Well in that case, just as description and for a cliffhanger…
DM: The man toril staggers back, his movements groggy, and the cockatrice warbles horrifically at him and pecks him again
DM: And he turns to stone…
Faustus: (Butts)
Faustus: Faustus draws his sword and shield, and searches his memory for anything he remembers about these creatures that he may have come across on his travels
DM: Nature check
DM: (and as before, we will do initiative based on who describes an action first then sticking to that order)
Faustus: Butts. A 6.
DM: You remember the famous adventuring saying, if you meet a cockatrice never ever ever…Shit. what was the rest of it?
Constance: how far away from this thing are we?
Faustus: Balls.
Bronan: (Bronan is clomping through the sand like a moron) leave little man alone snake chicken! (I’d like to hit it with the beers after the others have finished their turns)
DM: Let’s say you are 30 ft away, up a dune. So running down a dune toward it
DM: So bronan is attacking last with the beers? Constance, faustus, who wants to take a crack at it?
Constance: Constance shouts “BURN IT!!!!” and throws a flask of oil at the beast
DM: Deeeeex attack?
Constance: 20 (not nat)
DM: Your oil flask arcs through the twilight and strikes the cockatrice, splashing its face and head with oil
DM: It screams and runs directly at you
Bronan: (I think our party is rubbing off on you Constance!)
Constance: ah shit
Constance: (GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS. I NEED TO LEARN THE GREASE SPELL)
Bronan: (you’re a monk, you can knock stuff prone:))
DM: Faustus, you’re up
Faustus: Ok first I’m going to use a bonus action of vow of enmity.
Faustus: Wait. How close is he now?
DM: He is 30 ft away down the dune
DM: His turn us after yours
Faustus: Ah sorry, was because you said he was heading for Constance.
DM: He turned to Constance and started doing a sonic style leg warm up for a dash
Faustus: Yep yep.
Faustus: Ok I move forward 20 ft, cast vow of enmity as a bonus as I need to be 10ft from him. I now have advantage on attack rolls on him for 1 min.
Faustus: And then as my main action, I breathe a 15ft cone of fire directly at him. Make a dex save please!
DM: Woof. 10
Faustus: That is not gonna do it pal.
Faustus: Faustus draws back and spurts a cone of fire straight at the cockatrice, doing the 10 damage (plus anything else for the oil?)
DM: Think it’s just 10
DM: The cockatrice screams in agony as its sparse feathers and leathery wings catch alight
DM: It stumbles, but rights itself and attacks in a hellish fury!
Faustus: Wait isn’t it bronans turn?
Bronan: I’m happy to go after
Bronan: I rolled a 7 for initiative originally
Constance: *cough cough*
DM: Wellll
DM: Bronan, you swing the beers, but the flames catch the oil and the cockatrice is engulfed in a ball of flames and smoke
DM: It screams horrifically and falls to the sand, burning away, absolutely still
Constance: oh shit
Constance: really!?
Faustus: (Did I miss a bunch of shit? I was switching phones.)
Bronan: Sand chicken flash fried
Bronan: Now Bronan hungry
Faustus: (The last think I saw was you telling DM about the oil damage, then the next was DM saying Welllll)
Constance: (yeah thats what i saw too)
Constance: (apparently it went down)
Faustus: (Oh never mind then!)
DM: Yeah the flames hitting the oil went from nearly lethal damage to defo lethal damage
DM: Tori! Toril! The woman in robes throws down her vow and runs to her comrade, who appears to be made entirely of stone. His face locked in a grimace of pain and fear
DM: The woman is weeping. And the camel is roaring in confusion. The cockatrice is smouldering
DM: And, perhaps a few hundred feet away, you hear a strange yodelling crowing
Constance: aww crap
DM: And another
DM: And another
Constance: ok can i run up to this guy and do a medicine check to see if i would know if this is something that i can fix with the healing potion i happen to have?
DM: Yuuup
Constance: 22
DM: He is petrified. It’ll take some high level magic to save him
Constance: Balls
Faustus: So not lay on hands? I take it petrified isn’t a disease.
Bronan: Trader lady, more snake chicken come, you fix stone man? We stand and fight or strap statue to camel and go?
DM: You rolled a 22? He should return to norm in 24 hours, probably…
DM: Lay on hands won’t hit it
Constance: shit, lets get him and get the flock out of here
DM: She looks at you through tears, and then glances into the night at the darkness, where the screaming birds can be heard getting closer
DM: Get him on the sled! We must make for Fort Last
DM: She strokes the statues face and then runs to grab the camels reins
DM: Now, whoever you are! We will all be bird food unless we move!
Bronan: Ok, Bronan lifts with his legs and hoists the statue onto the sled
Constance: we do that
Faustus: Yup
DM: Hmm, what are your strength scores (not modified)
DM: Combine those and x15
Bronan: 16 for Bronan
Faustus: 16
Constance: 8
DM: So 40*15
DM: 600 pounds
Constance: total of 600
DM: Yeaaaah you can’t seem to shift him
DM: His petrification seems to have increased his weight 10 fold
Constance: “HELP US MOVE HIM” i shout to that bird
Constance: woman
DM: Hahaha
DM: Hmmm so let’s say 750lb between you
DM: Nah he is a small lad, you can just shift him onto the sled, which you can no see is full of crates of blue flowers
Constance: what is pulling this sled?
DM: This big camel
Bronan: So we’re fleeing from the chickens
DM: It seems so
DM: Almost like
DM: A skills challenge!
Constance: order?
DM: Same as initiative!
DM: Soooooo go bronan!
Bronan: Bronan use his athletic ability to help camel pull load faster
DM: Great
Bronan: By pushing sled
Bronan: Oh come on…9
Bronan: (thats my highest skill! Next time I’m using one without proficiency, always do well at those)
DM: Try as you might, your mighty strength means nought with no firm ground to press against
DM: Constance
Constance: ok. im going to use survival to see if i can spot any natural terrain that would favour speed or stealth for us. Like a particularly flat section of ground to pull the sled along or some gully that would hide us from sight
DM: Superb
Constance: 4
Constance: jesus
DM: You spot some flat land
DM: And yank the reins to steer towards it
DM: Wait! The woman screams, but the camel has already stumbled into it
DM: Shifting loose sand, and now the camels legs are sinking with every step!
Faustus: I use animal handling to coax the camel, calm it down and get it moving again
Faustus: 18
DM: You succeed in passing the flat stretch, but you can hear the cockatrices howl in fury. They’ve reached their kin
DM: Bronan
Bronan: Can I use nature to see if the snake chickens either love or hate ale?
DM: Yes
Bronan: Cause I assume my barrel is back at our campsite around the dune from the dead chicken
DM: Ohhh. Yup
Bronan: 16-1, 15
Bronan: I still have some beer in the beers, but I’ll be very sad if I need to use it to cover our trail
DM: You don’t think chickens like beer
DM: (Convince me of how this information helps you escape, or it’ll count as a failure anyway!)
Bronan: I spill the beer remaining in my axe flask on our trail and say ‘they don’t like beer, quick throw your ale behind us’
DM: Okay. Constance
DM: (bronan inspiration for sticking to character rather than usefulness)
Constance: (hahahhaha)
Bronan: (Bronan is reeeaaal shit at skill challenges! Deffo thinking of bardbarian multiclassed at some point!)
Constance: ok, id like to use stealth to try to cover our tracks as much as possible, i dont really know how I would do that from the sled, so i will jump off the back and try to get rid of any evidence that we came this way.
DM: Okay roll….
DM: Survival?
Constance: Stealth
Constance: i used survival last time
Constance: acceptable?
DM: Yup
Constance: 18
DM: You spend a minute disturbing some of the tracks and strewing some grass and scrub bushes across the path of the sled
DM: Faustus
Faustus: Athletics to start getting the camel to move faster?
DM: Sure, by helping with the cart
Faustus: Grand. 24.
DM: Helping. It’s too hot to type. Fuck. Fuck.
DM: Okay
DM: Right
DM: It comes down to this
DM: Fail, those cockatrices are going to grab you. Success, and you might just have escaped
DM: Faustus digs deep to wrench the sled front he shifting sands and help the camel move forward, but in the distance you can hear the thunder of talons
DM: Bronan
DM: It’s on you
Bronan: (we’re fucked)
Constance: (i have real world dnd in like 15 mins so will be out for the rest of the evening)
Bronan: I would like to use animal handling to make the camel run quicker, and I’d like to use my inspiration
Constance: oh shit. pre inspiration inspiration
Bronan: That’s a 15 total
DM: Woo!
DM: Bronan mumbles something the rest of you can’t hear to the camel and then it shoots off, a burst of incredible speed, straining at its tethers!
DM: You reach the crest of a huge dune and the camel pulls you down and down and down into a dry riverbed. As you round a corner, the smell of salt and decaying vegetation hits you. Behind you, four cockatrices stand on the crest of the dune and crow at you, scratching at the sand. You have escaped the desert
DM: And reached the salt marshes by the sea!
Faustus: Huzzah!
DM: The woman steers the camel onto a thin raised ridge of dirt, the sled slipping into the water alongside
DM: Fort Last is not far. We can make it by dawn, perhaps
Constance: Madam. Who are you and what were you doing out here in the sands?
DM: I am Tyress. We collect the moon flowers
Constance: And that brings you here why?
DM: But we must not speak on the marshes, lest we wake the wights
DM: Please
Constance: Fair.
DM: With the dawn we will find the safety of Fort Last and we can speak
Bronan: Ok, will talk later, hush hush now
DM: The night passes slowly, with only the gentle sloshing of the water and the faint rustling of reeds in the wind mixing with the camels soft soft footsteps
DM: As dawn breaks you see you are in a vast delta, flat and wide, and to the west, you can hear waves and see an indistinct outline of some sort of holdfast
DM: Before you the delta gives way to hard sand and sparse palms, and you see Fort Last
Come back next Monday for Chapter 27 of The Cursed Tomb!
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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide
