So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 24, find it here!
DM: Your arms and legs and bones and muscles all grow
DM: You are now what, 6ft tall?! And very skinny. And your clothes don’t fit
Constance: Bugger. I didn’t think this through
Bronan: It OK, Bronan have spare loincloth
Constance: Um, im not certain that will be sufficient Bronan
DM: Mij digs around and finds you an I’ll fitting apothecary robe
DM: Well. Not a halfling I suppose!
Constance: You have my thanks Mij
DM: (you can no longer do that thing where you move through someone else’s space)
Constance: (Halfling nimbleness, damn)
Bronan: Mij, do you know what those flying things were?
DM: No idea
DM: I dreamed of them, they spoke to me
Constance: Spoke to you?
DM: (dreamt?)
Bronan: They speak!?!
DM: I couldn’t understand
DM: Whispers
Constance: (Both are correct I believe. Like hung/hanged)
Bronan: Hmm, mij, do you have any use for this? (I gesture to the mutated rat tail on my arm) anything you could do with it?
DM: A…a rat tail covered in spines? No my friend. No.
Bronan: It starting to smell a bit, you have bin?
DM: Um yes, yes, of course. The furnace is better actually
Faustus: Wait
Faustus: If it was infected by this explosive fluid, do we want to be burning it?
DM: She takes the tail with metal tongs holds it up
DM: Oh!
DM: Very wise.
DM: I will bury it?
Faustus: Assuming it isn’t going to leach into anything else as it decomposes?
Bronan: It safe to eat? Bronan eat with onions
DM: I think perhaps not
DM: Hmm. I’ll seal it in a barrel for now and burn it out of the city once the furore has died down?
Constance: Sounds like a plan Mij
Faustus: Agreed
Constance: Everyone looks smaller than I remember.
DM: So, what are you guys up to?
Bronan: Bronan want go market, but what do friends think about Scarf-mayor, we get help? Items? Or take him out ourselves?
Constance: I’m not sure what our next move should be, Faustus?
Bronan: Bronan think we just give the mayor the beers, maybe speak to guard friends and Melbos elder to make sure others not get in way, if he worth challenge he could get his dogman gem himself?
DM: The options are endless!
Bronan: (my vote is for straight up strategic murder, we lure him to a farm house then smash the mayor to ittle bitty pieces)
Constance: i think we need to get some political intrigue on our side
Constance: infiltrate Al-Shash constabulary or some such
Constance: his power lies in the people fear of him, if we can undermine that then he is just a man
Faustus: I’m into that
Bronan: Sound like plan, so, we do shopping then head back to al-shash to speak to guard friend?
Constance: there are always the people that the sorceress pointed us to as well
Constance: i forget their name
Bronan: The sand pirates?
Constance: thats the one
Bronan: Hmm guard we spoke with seem to not think bad against mayor, maybe we find sand pirate more likely to help? Melbos not seem fan of mayor but not seem enemy either and we not kill birdmen for him
Constance: thats true Bronan. I do worry about how Melbos will take it if he finds out that we haven’t done as we said we would
Constance: it seems that we have enemies everywhere and not many allies
Bronan: He might be OK, we did get them to agree not to bother if Melbos not enter their lands, maybe if we get rid of Scarf-mayor then birdmen see Melbos as more of an ally
Constance: perhaps
Faustus: Melbos does however seem to be pro slavery and or child prostitution, neither of which are things that particularly make me want to ally with him.
Bronan: He did? We need smash Melbos
Faustus: (I think so?)
Bronan: Sand pirates? We get sand pirates?
Faustus: I agree.
DM: So, heading back to al’shash, then across the red plains to the wild ports?
DM: You wanted to check out the plaza of knives first?
Bronan: yup, I want to a)get my small emerald cut and fashioned into earings and b)look to trade the ray of frost necklace for either something for Faustus that is magical, or gold then buy a real nice javelin case and some javelins)
DM: 20gp for the emerald to be shaped and cut. Nice javelin case and 6 javelins for 8 gold. You can straight trade the necklace for a few little magic items of varying potency- a glove that looks like it’s smouldering, a cowboy hat covered in runes, a small wand
Bronan: Ok, instead of the javelins I’ll get Faustus the cowboy hat
Faustus: Hahaha
Faustus: Appreciate it.
DM: You can get both
Bronan: And can I spend a gp to get some wrapping paper?
DM: Of you sell the emerald which isn’t used for the earings
DM: Yeah that’s less than a copper, basically fine
DM: The stallholder is a very fat women
DM: Tha there be the hat o whispers
DM: (let’s you cast message at will)
Faustus: Dope.
Bronan: I have 25gp, so am spending 20 to get one emerald cut and put into tiny earings, and swapping the necklace for the hat, then crudely gift wrapping before meeting my friends later in the day ” Bronan sorry he could not get birthday gift on time last year, hope this make up for it” constance gets the earrings and Faustus the hat
Faustus: That is very kind of you Bronan. And your birthday is coming up soon right?
Bronan: Bronan not exactly sure when birthday is, tribe only really start counting summers when child start walking
Bronan: But Faustus no need to get gift, gift of your friendship enough for Bronan
Bronan: For long time, Bronan was without tribe, after accident, but Bronan happy to have new tribe with Faustus and Constance
Faustus: That is very touching Bronan. I am happy to call you tribesman.
Bronan: Thank you Faustus, did you or Constance want to do anything else here or should see start travelling?
Faustus: What sort of shops are here?
Constance: Awww Bronan they’re beautiful!
DM: Shops wise, almost anything you can think of. Trinkets, weapons, adventuring gear. Exotic weapons, magical items, potions, animals, etc. Wands, cloaks, books, maps, food, drink
Constance: id like to see if i can find somewhere I can get some sort of smoke bombs or something. to help me make a quick getaway. and also some sort of lockpicking stuff that i can conceal about my person
DM: Thieves tools, and smoke bombs?
Constance: sure
DM: Smoke bombs are 5gp each. Thieves tools 10gp for a pack of lockpicks
Constance: ok, ill take two smoke bombs and a pack of lockpicks
DM: Cool cool. Anyone else after anything else?
Faustus: I think I’m good for now.
Bronan: Sand pirate hideout?
Faustus: Yeah I’m game for that.
Bronan: Cool, Bronan ensures he grabs his ale from the inn
Bronan: And the rest of his stuff I guess too!
DM: So heading back to al’shash on the six day mail coach, then 3 days to rib gulch?
DM: And from there, well, you have the map, and things start to get a bit wilder
Constance: Plan
DM: If you aren’t planning on stopping in al’shash or along the way I can narrate how all that goes
Faustus: Are we just going to bump into folk we don’t want to see if we go there?
Bronan: It’s probably a risk
Bronan: But easier to get out of this city perhaps and we can get off the coach before getting to al-shash
DM: The first five days on the mail coach are notable only for their boredom
DM: Grass
DM: Fields
DM: Sand
DM: As the plains give way to the desert edge, you pass some hamlets you remember as being about half a day north of al’shash and hop off the cart. The wagon driver barely seems to notice, eyes glazed as he chews a yellow leaf
DM: You can easily cut across the hard sand and date farms north of al’shash to head down to rib gulch. After three days on the tamed desert you approach rib gulch. you are rested. It is dawn. You have maps, and water, food, and a plan
DM: What do you do?
Bronan: Maybe birdmen territory easier to travel through to get to sandpirate?
DM: Essentially it is birdmen territory, central desert, or south desert
Constance: Also. How much did the mail coach cost us?
DM: Free ride heading out, he is happy for company (since you seem pretty hard, and might discourage bandits)
Bronan: (is constance still huge?)
DM: (yuuuuuup)
Bronan: (there go the awkward head pats!)
Bronan: Where friend want to go? Less worm in birdmen land, but vast desert to explore!
Faustus: I’m easy. Head through desert to see what happens?
Bronan: Sounds good
DM: Great! Any particular marching order or plan as you go? Straight west will take you past the tomb, then about 6 days of desert to the ocean
Faustus: Shall I go at the back?
Bronan: Bronan at the front
Constance: That leaves the tallest halfling in the middle
Constance: (I’m nominally naming this race biglings)
Faustus: (I like it)
DM: Alright. Each day I need a survival check, a perception check, and an encounter check
DM: Roll for it!
Faustus: Who doing what?
Bronan: Bronan has a feat with his background to get us food and water, so we should be fine with that, I’m happy to do survival
Faustus: I’ll do encounter, my perception isn’t super hot.
Bronan: 21, 11, natty 20(23 total), 22 and 10
Bronan: For survival
Faustus: 10 for encounter
DM: Seems survival won’t be a problem
DM: Constance, perception
DM: Faustus, day 1 you come across an old campfire with no visible tracks nearby. There is a pebble with a face carved into it in the fire
Faustus: Weird.
Bronan: Is it a detailed enough we might recognise It?
Constance: 19, nat 1, 19, 5.
DM: No it isn’t
DM: The first day passes uneventfully
DM: The second day you get lost and can’t find any fresh water or food
DM: Faustus, encounter check?
Faustus: 9
DM: But you find no signs of life save the dull buzz of distant insects
DM: The third day, bronan finds an oasis and Constance finds her bearings
DM: Encounter check?
Faustus: 2
DM: Despite being the only water for miles and miles the oasis is deserted
DM: There is a torn and empty rucksack there, and some scattered forks and spoons, rusted and pitted with age
DM: The fourth day…
Faustus: 6
DM: Constance keeps you bearing dead west, and bronan finds some tubers to boil
DM: Faustus sees a shape across the sun, a shadow
DM: But then it is gone
DM: The desert is seemingly empty…but you know this is not true
DM: Day five. As the sun rises the dunes become indistinguishable. Quickly you are lost, but you have enough food and water to last out
DM: Faustus, you can hear something…is it the wind? (d20)
Faustus: Nat 1
DM: Oh
Faustus: Haha
DM: As you prepare camp in the leeward side of a dune, and incredibly tall dune, you hear screams
DM: Somewhere north, maybe…a quarter mile? Over two dunes.
DM: They continue
Bronan: Humanoid screams or animal?
Bronan: (Fuck it, Bronan wouldn’t care) we must help them! Bronan runs for the dune
DM: Hahaha
Constance: Constance follows close behind.
Faustus: Yup
DM: Human screams
DM: It’s evening, the sun dipping below the dunes, a cloudless sky burnt red by the sunset. As you sprint up the second dune you hear a voice scream ‘no, no, Toril, no!’ And then you crest the hill
DM: What you see:
DM: A large wooden sled harnessed to what looks like a huge camel
DM: A trader in robes screaming and drawing a bow
DM: A trader in leather armour swinging a gleaming sword at…
DM: A cockatrice!
DM: Roll initiative (unless you just want to watch)
Come back next Monday for Chapter 26 of The Cursed Tomb!
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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide
