The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 20 – An Actual Rat, Prophetic

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned. If you missed Chapter 19, find it here!


Bronan: Hmm you think this all of them?

Constance: Nah they must have come from somewhere

DM: Can give a wee perception roll before heading further downriver

‪Bronan: 17

DM: Superb

DM: Bronan, at the edge of your sight you see a crack in the side of the river wall, about four foot high

DM: The entrance is strewn with garbage

DM: As you peer closer, something slinks into the crack

Constance: 11

DM: Constance you can’t see anything approaching behind you

DM: And as before the high walls middle any sounds from the street/building

‪Bronan: Crack in wall! Turn around and be on guard Constance. Bronan come! (Bronan moves to place himself between Constance and the threat

DM: Okay, so you are back to bronan, Constance with a torch, and then faustus at the back?

Faustus: Sure

DM: What’s the plan boyos

Constance: Have we got torches?

DM: I thought you had one lit between you?

‪Bronan: Yup. And I have 3 more

‪Bronan: Lets look at crack, maybe fill it with rock

DM: Okay, as you shine your light at the crack you can see this is clearly the nest

DM: Amongst strewn bones and rubbish and filth, a gnawed skeleton in green robes lies, clutching a wand and a spellbook

DM: Behind it, a monster!

‪Bronan: What is the monster doing? If it’s threatening Bronan will charge, if it’s just using Microsoft Bing, he’ll think before charging

DM: It’s snarling

DM: Will send a pic shortly

DM: (oops. sent a fucking dire rat picture to my girlfriend. Hi honey)

DM: You see this beast, gleaming with strange arcane energy and covered in odd spines and nodules, and it retreats back to the furthest reaches of the chasm and hisses at you

Constance: (HAHAHAHHAHA)

Faustus: (Hahaha)

‪Bronan: (I laughed out loud)

‪Bronan: (Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to pet shopping!)

‪Bronan: Bronan is gonna run and try to hit it with the beers

DM: Attack roll, with disadvantage because you are fighting in a 4ft high cave crack thing

‪Bronan: It’s a 12

DM: You miss, your hammer thwacking against broken stone and earth

‪Bronan: (were that I a halfling)

DM: Aye, Constance, what do ye? Faustus?

Constance: Is there enough space for us all in this crack?

DM: Yeah it goes 10 ft back but only 4 ft high

DM: Don’t think you can get past bronan though!

Bronan: He’s a leg wriggled!

‪Bronan: Wriggled!

‪Bronan: Goddamn autocorrect, wriggler

Constance: I’m a halfling. I can move everywhere!

Constance: Bronan feels a tickle in his nether regions and looks down to see a head protruding from between his legs and a hand darts out loosing a poison dart before disappearing again.

Constance: Ah crap. 7 to hit

‪Bronan: Sir dribbles snorts

DM: Misses

DM: Faustus, anything you want to do?

Faustus: I assume I can’t get to the thing?

DM: Hm. Probably not to be honest. Got anything ranged? Chuck a pebble at it?

Faustus: I’ve got a javelin, can I jab it with that around Bronan?

DM: Yup

‪Bronan: I picture Bronan doing a power squat rather than bending at the waist, again, perfect form

DM: Attack roll Faustus, disadvantaged though! Not an ideal battleground

‪Bronan: (Bronans butt in yo face!)

Faustus: 17 to hit was my lowest

DM: Superb

Faustus: So I think I’m going to make this a divine smite, so I add an extra d8 to the damage. And if it is undead lemme know, that’s another d8.

DM: It’s not undead

Constance: It’s 2d8 for first level plus an additional d8 if it’s undead

Faustus: Is it?

Constance: Literally just wrote a paladin character sheet

Faustus: Ah cool. The app writes it up weird.

DM: (okay I’m totally making a paladin for my other game)

Constance: (Yeah they are pretty boss actually)

Faustus: Ok 17 damage total.

DM: Jesus wept

Faustus: 1d6+3 for the javelin and 2d8

Faustus: Actually a fairly bad roll!

‪Bronan: (sweet damage man!)

DM: This dire glowing spiked abomination throws itself at bronan’s face, and is brought up short as faustus slams his javelin into its chest

Faustus: Well, average roll I guess.

DM: It’s snapping jaws stop inches from bronans throat, and it slowly falls still

DM: Dead.

DM: Out of initiative! Well done

Bronan: I grab it and bring the corpse with me

‪Bronan: Out if the tunnel

DM: The rat? Or the wizard?

Faustus: What about the dead dude with the book? Can we have a poke around?

Constance: Does this tunnel go anywhere else?

‪Bronan: The rat first

DM: Sure, investigation

‪Bronan: Bronan got to clear the path for his friends

DM: Tunnel is a dead end

Faustus: 18

DM: But at the back is a dripping glowing green liquid

DM: Faustus, you find a pouch with 10 gold, a ring of silver, a wand and a spellbook. Robes seem pretty standard. Aside from that, mainly rat scraps and rat shit. Trickle of glowing green liquid slowly dripping into the back of the tunnel from a seam above

‪Bronan: Does the green drip look like sewage? (listeria and all that)

Constance: Can I go take a closer look at that green slime. And also retrieve my dart from the tunnel

DM: Constance, investigation

DM: Bronan, no sewage you’ve ever seen…

Faustus: Take all that shit for now, split the gold etc.

Faustus: Can I tell what the ring/wand /spellbook is?

DM: Arcana checks

Constance: 11 on investigation

Constance: Whom?

DM: It’s some sort of goo charged with arcane power- it seems to be seeping down from above, which must be one of the shops on the street by the river!

DM: Faustus arcana checks, sorry

‪Bronan: (I love rolling int based checks but Bronan is satisfied it’s not poop water) it OK, not poop water

DM: Ha

DM: Bronan you are holding the spiky glowing rat?

‪Bronan: Yeah sure

DM: Cool

Faustus: Well that was a bad trio of rolls

Faustus: 4, 3, 7

‪Bronan: I dragged it out now stopped cutting off its tail to check poop water, so holding it by tail?

DM: Cool

DM: Yup

Faustus: For the ring, wand and book in that order

DM: Faustus, it’s a magic ring, wand, and spellbook

Faustus: Yep. I figured.

DM: Ring and wand you aren’t sure about

DM: Spellbook seems to be low level wizard spells

DM: Could probably decipher more about all of them in a bright pub rather than a rat cave

Faustus: Seems like a good shout.

‪Bronan: Uhuh, Bronan chop

‪Bronan: Tail comes off I guess

DM: Grand

DM: Yup

DM: You guys can head back to the inn of you like?

Faustus: Cool. Shall we get paid, maybe warn the innkeeper about the goo?

‪Bronan: Bronan not want to put body in river, we pile up somewhere? Collapse tunnel with ram?

‪Bronan: (he means the crack and gestures as such)

Constance: Maybe keep that to ourselves for now, till we pop to that shop and see what’s going on?

‪Bronan: Not a problem, when you need Bronan to smash, you let him know, Bronan break house today! Good pokey stick friend Faustus! Bronan feel holy church ghost brush against inner leg, felt weird

‪Bronan: And friend constance, you throw dart good! Good throw!

Faustus: Well done to you too Bronan. It seems these vermin were little trouble at all, despite the odd appearance of the last one.

Constance: I missed Bronan. But it’s fine. You guys had it.

‪Bronan: No no, early in fight constance throw dart, it fly past Bronan like mighty horse, kill rat

Constance: Oh yeah I totes did that!

‪Bronan: We go get Inn man the Burliman to let us in, get stew and give him rat tail?

Constance: Sounds good

Faustus: Shall we keep this strange tail to figure out what is going on with it?

‪Bronan: Bronan better not keep, sir dribbles like to play tug of war, he use tail

‪Bronan: But Bronan could tie tail around arm, maybe sir dribbles not get it then?

DM: Returning to the inn, holding a pile of rat tails, one glowing spiked rat tail knotted around bronans arm?

Constance: Didn’t we get a giant rat too?

‪Bronan: We got, 20 regular, 2 giant and a glowey one

DM: Yup

Constance: Huzzah.

‪Bronan: (it speaks to Bronans character that I wrote it in my treasure section)

Constance: (Oh also I forgot to mention earlier, at the height of the the rat swarm fight when I was walking home I saw an actual rat, prophetic)

‪Bronan: (shit man, you need to move to a nicer part of Bristol, then you get to see the Clifton fox)

Constance: (Nah it was next to work, we don’t have rats here, had mice cause we’re near a field but the biggest risk is the youths)

‪Bronan: If Burliman doesn’t open up the trapdoor with knock, then Bronan begins to play drums singing “I know a song that will make you let us in, make you let us in, make you let us in” on repeat

DM: Ha

DM: Just as you start singing burliman opens up

DM: Well done well done! My goodness so many tails!

DM: Upstairs and a pint for all of you, on me of course!

‪Bronan: Yup, Bronan friends mighty

DM: Did you get rid of all of them? Any sign of that young wizard lad?

Constance: Unfortunately yes, it seems that these *gestures to tails* things got the better of them

DM: I see. Well. I’m very grateful to you. I can take these tails up the regional majors office tomorrow, but I suppose I can give you the gold for them now

DM: That’s 20 small tails, two big guns, so 4 gold total!

Constance: We would be happy to take them up there as well for you Burliman!

DM: Oh nonsense you’ve got better things to be doing, I’ll have my lad Hep sort it in the morn

DM: So he refunds you your money for the rooms and stew, gives bronan a bowl, and shows you all to your rooms. Three comfortable small rooms

Faustus: Cool

DM: Faustus, you can try once  more to identify the ring and wand in this friendlier setting?

Faustus: Yeah sure.

Faustus: 12 and 17

DM:  (EDITOR’S NOTE- sent the wand and ring through as pictures, now lost to the mists of time. Who knows what they do? Perhaps they will appear again)

Faustus: Wand seems like a general group item, I don’t mind keeping hold of it. Anyone fancy the ring?

Constance: Perhaps best for someone without armour. Bronan? Perhaps you could take sir dribbles for a swim

Faustus: Also I need to clarify some gold stuff. I spent 10 getting here for me and Bronan right? Then we just got 14 total here?

‪Bronan: Bronan have necklace,.it make beer cold!

‪Bronan: Bronan pay his own way

DM: Think that’s right Faustus?

DM: Plus whatever you paid for the inn back

‪Bronan: (Bronan had 5, the reduction for beer made the fare 5, worked for 5, then I spend 4 on rooms, one on being able to be able to drink my own beer

Constance: Yeah I think I spent one for cart

Constance: Then forgot to pay for room

Constance: Or whatever

DM: Righto

‪Bronan: Ah ok, Bronan wouldve paid for rooms for his friends before him

DM: I’m assuming you all call it a night in preparation for tomorrow’s adventure?

DM: Seeking the sultan, or the green goo, or whatever you fancy

Constance: Yeah

Faustus: Yeah sounds good. I’m heading to bed IRL too. So 4 gold each and some change from that?

DM: Call it five each, tip for quick resolution

DM: As you lay in your bunks trying to sleep in the Sand Spire, below you the Great river cormyra flows ceaslessly, out and away. The city is loud even at night, carriages and horses and traders and bakers, night watchmen ringing bells, far off scuffles and nearby footsteps. As you fall into slumber, the city doesn’t seem to have noticed you

DM: Yet…

‪Bronan: (thats a cliffhanger!! Awesome!)


Come back next Monday for Chapter 21 of The Cursed Tomb!


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Dungeon Master’s Guide

Player’s Handbook

Monster Manual

Volo’s Guide to Monsters

Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide

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