The Cursed Tomb: Chapter 13 – Wait, Wait, What?!

So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!

Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.

DM: The biggest speaks in a guttural avian squawk

DM: “lonesome traveller, you are in our lands. The blessed wind requires payment”

Constance: From beneath my hood I mutter something quiet

DM: And…

DM: That’s where we leave it for now! I’m about to run a d&d session in the real world

Constance: Wait to see what they do

Constance: AHHHHHHH. Curse you.

Constance: Faustus. Kill all his bad guys. Kill them to fuck.


DM: The toll is simple. Half your goods, and you may continue across the red plain with our protection. We will even protect your freight from beasts and bandits.

DM: But none cross the land of the Blessed Wind without paying the toll

Faustus: (You have to pay the troll toll if you want to get this boy’s soul)

DM: (i think the rape scene could be classier)

DM: Each of the aaracokra carries a sabre, a quiver, and a short horn bow. The front one is markedly larger and tougher looking, his feathers bronze in the firelight

Bronan: (goddamnit Charlie, have you been drinking paint again?)

‪Bronan: Bronan hears this and readies himself

Faustus: Faustus can see all this from his vantage point?

DM: Faustus you are 30ft up so roll perception to see if you hear this?

DM: Can see, yes, but see if he can hear over the light desert breeze

Faustus: Hmm 11

DM: A few words. Demand of payment, but this far no threat

‪Bronan: (already have my warcry sorted, just waiting for it to kick off)

Constance: (Sorry was sleeping)

Constance: Ok. Where are these guys in relation to me/the cart/the cliff

‪Bronan: I’m guessing cart against the cliff, then constance then campfire, they landed other side of campfire? Was that what we had planned?

Constance: Yeah that’s what I thought.

DM: Yup

Constance: I mutter under my breath again, loud enough for them to hear, but not enough so they make out what I’m saying.

DM: They step forward. They are now about 10 ft from you

DM: Speak freely, trader. We mean you no harm. But these are our sacred lands, and none may pass without tribute

Constance: I throw back my hood and look him in the eye and say “I said….” Then shout “YOU DONE FUCKED UP!”

Constance: Then run towards him and smash him with my staff

DM: Hahaha

DM: Okay. Initiative wise, Constance you are first. Roll your attacks. Then Bronan and Faustus (whoever rolls first), then the aarakokra

DM: Aaaaand I’m going to give you a surprise round, as they had no idea this was coming

Constance: Ok. I’ll roll initiative first.

Constance: 11 + 3

Constance: Also, do I get to know the initiative order or what? It might effect my actions.

DM: Like I just said, you start, then bronan/faustus (whoever acts first), then aaracokra. But you also have a surprise round

DM: So you are up, then your guys, then you again, then your buds again, then aaracokra

Constance: Ok. So I’m going to attack and use flurry of blows on my first action which spends one of my ki points

Constance: Smash him with the staff with two hands then try and do a boss spinning double kick.

Constance: 15 + 3 to hit with staff

DM: Staff hits, roll damage and roll flurry of blows attacks

Constance: 5 + 5 with first kick and 11 + 5 to hit with second.

DM: Okay, one of your licks doesn’t land the second one does

DM: *kicks

DM: He stumbles back saying. Wait, wait, what?! As you smash into him

Constance: Ok. Damage with staff is 1d8 + 4. So 2 + 4

Constance: And kick is 1d4 + 4. So 1 + 4

Constance: A total of 11 damage.

Constance: Does the staff do anything?

DM: The end of it is congealed with thick black light. You do a lot of damage to him, he falls to one knee

DM: Bronan/faustus, one of you is next!

‪Bronan: Bronan rips the tarp off him, revealing the net thrower and Sir dribbles standing on a safe part of it, he is wearing flight goggles and a flying cap, “pigeon men want toll? All we brought was PAIN” I aim at the one of the birdmen with the loaded net thrower and let loose

‪Bronan: Guessing I am not proficient (barbarians are proficient in simple and martial weapons) I got a 17+2 on ranged attack, 19

DM: Superb, one of the birdmen is entangled in a thick net and squawks in terror!

DM: Faustus?

Faustus: Are the birds all on the ground?

DM: Yes, your attacks is happening very swiftly- within seconds bronan has netted one and Constance beat the leader down to its knees. Three more stand behind them trying to figure out what to do

Faustus: I’m going to throw down a javelin at one of them, the undamaged or captured ones, aiming for a wing. They still don’t know I’m there right?

Faustus: 19 to hit

Faustus: 8 piercing damage

Faustus: I’d then like to use my movement to cautious and quietly move position so they can’t immediately figure out where I am. And also possibly try and make it seem like there are more of us up here on our next go

DM: Stealth roll please

DM: Your javelin smashes into one of the aracokra at the back

DM: He is utterly surprised

DM: They are all yelling at each other in some avian tongue

DM: Constance, your action

Faustus: 16 on stealth

DM: Nice

DM: You edge around the cliff to a new vantage point

Constance: Is the leader still alive?

DM: Yes, very badly wounded on one knee in front of you

Constance: I’m going to smash him again with the staff and use unarmed strike as a bonus action. I’m trying to do non-lethal damage FYI.

DM: Okay

Constance: 12 + 3 to hit with staff

Constance: And 8 + 5 with unarmed strike

DM: That hits, damage?

Constance: 4 + 4. 8 damage with staff

DM: He I knocked unconscious, sprawled on the sand

DM: Can your unarmed attack be against a different target?

Constance: Yup.

Constance: It’s just a bonus action.

DM: So with your ankh staff you knock out the leader (it’s end. Throbs with black light and you feel…hunger)

DM: You turn, there are four others- one in a net, one with a javelin wound, and two more

DM: Which one do you hit with unarmed strike and what’s the damage?

Constance: The one with the javelin wound.

DM: Sure, you already rolled attack. Roll damage

Constance: 3 + 4

DM: Lethal or non lethal?

Constance: Non.

Constance: I’m trying to keep as many alive as possible.

DM: (also your sheet says +4 but you have +3 Dex how does that work? Just curious)

Constance: (I was just looking at that. See me in private chat)

DM: Constance nimbly uppercuts the aaracokra reeling from the javelin strike and knocks it out

DM: Bronan. Three aaracokra standing, one of whom is netted!

Bronan: Bronan net another pigeon man

DM: Ha

‪Bronan: Rolled. 17

DM: Goddam

DM: Okay, second pigeon man is netted

DM: Only one is free standing

DM: Faustus?

Faustus: Aiming at that guy, 22 to hit.

DM: Javelin at the free standing one? that hits

DM: You have advantage (in case you crit?)

Faustus: Yep. 6 piercing damage.

Faustus: Ok one sec

Faustus: Nope.

DM: Okay

DM: It’s now the birdmen

Faustus: 6 piercing.

Faustus: And I’m going to move again.

DM: Unless you are moving?

DM: Trying to stealth somewhere else?

Faustus: 19 on stealth

DM: Grand, easy stuff. It is frantic down there, you slide to a new position

DM: 3 aaracokra, 2 in nets. The two netted use their actions to try and remove the nets

DM: The first easily rips the net aside, but the second is tangled

DM: The now netless aaracokra flies 50ft up and shoots his shortbow at Constance

DM: 16 to hit?

Faustus: I thought he used his action to escape?

Constance: Yeah that hits

DM: Ah shit

DM: Yeah sorry

DM: The already free aaracokra flies up 50 ft as well and takes a shot at Constance

DM: Will reroll

DM: And he misses

DM: So. Two aaracokra are in the air 50ft above the caravan, 20ft above hidden faustus. One struggles with a net on the ground by his two unconscious compatriots

DM: Constance your move

Constance: I’m going to run over to the one who is trapped and try to knock him the fuck out with a staff and kick him in the head.

DM: Hahaha

DM: He is restrained, so you have advantage

Constance: 16 + 4 to hit

DM: That hits

Constance: 2 + 4 damage.

DM: As your staff cracks into him the ankh again is covered in strange black light, almost pulsing with energy

DM: Unarmed attack?

Constance: 11 to hit

DM: Misses

DM: He writhes away and manages to deflect your kick

DM: Bronan

Constance: Then I run to take cover behind the cart.

DM: Okay, because the two guys are flying above you the only way to get cover from them would be under the cart really

Constance: I was more thinking I could help Bronan/grab that javelin

DM: Okay sure, but that means no cover AC bonus

Constance: Fine.

DM: The birdmen are all yelling at each other in a language you don’t know

‪Bronan: Grab javelins and hide behind bronan

‪Bronan: Bronan fire net at pigeon man in air with bow

DM: Awesome, roll for it!

‪Bronan: 17 total again

DM: Add Dex but not proficiency

DM: Ah shit

DM: Okay

DM: Aaracokra gets slammed into by a heavy net

DM: And falls 50ft

DM: Roll 5d6 for me bronan

Bronan: 24

‪Bronan: (I did tell them we’d bring the pain)

DM: That aaracokra plummets like a stone and there is a sickening crack as it lands by the side of the cart, clearly dead

DM: Faustus

DM: One flying aaracokra, one netted down below

Faustus: I’m going to throw a javelin at the flying one.

DM: Awesoke

DM: Awesome, even.

Faustus: 20. Not nat.

DM: Oof

Faustus: 9 piercing damage.

DM: Yikes

DM: You spear him in the gut and he falls a few feet before righting himself

Faustus: And since I clearly just gave away my position I ready myself for action, shield out in my other hand.

DM: The aaracokra screams with rage as it surveys the situation

DM: The one on the ground struggles with the net

DM: He breaks free and flies up to 50ft

DM: The one that was already airborne recognises that the greatest danger is the net thrower, and so flies at Bronan in a dive attack!

DM: 23 to hit!

DM: And since it is moving more than 30ft, it has a lot of momentum and does an extra d6 damage

‪Bronan: Well shit my britches

‪Bronan: What’s the damage?

DM: 9 slashing damage! And it is now on the cart next to bronan and Constance. It leans forward and weaves its bloody scimitar in the air

Bronan: I guess some of my blood lands on sir dribbles

DM: Eek.

DM: Constance you are up

DM: High above an aaracokra circles, and right in front of you one readies itself to bring your end

Constance: I’m going to spend a ki point and flurry of blows the fuck out of him after nailing him with the staff.

DM: Alright, non lethal?

Constance: I’ll roll attacks then damage. It goes staff punch punch. Non lethal

DM: Sure

Constance: 11 + 5.

Constance: 7 + 5


DM: Jeeze

DM: Okay, I mean I think even on minimum damage he is knocked out as he’d already taken a heavy javelin hit from faustus, feel free to describe how

Constance: I sweep his legs out from under him with the staff and jump up, catching his face in both hands and driving him into the cart as he falls.

DM: Your staff burns with black light as you fight and you have a vague sense of hunger again, frustrated hunger


Come back next Monday for Chapter 14 of The Cursed Tomb!


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