So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.
DM: Bronan, you are a gem of a man. We swap tymora for Yeenoghu? Melbos loves dogs, he will like this very much
DM: And if you see Drellich before sundown, tell him to get out of town. Otherwise…
DM: They shrug
Bronan: Can we have map to birdmen too? Bronan know friend must make money, but Bronan want to help friend get richer
DM: Bronan
DM: Make a persuasion check with advantage
Bronan: Mkay
Bronan: Ah shit, I got a 3 and a 4, so 4
Faustus: Oh man. Shame. Nice try.
DM: Bronan, my friend, we can’t! But. Perhaps. Hm. I tell you what. I like you. You guys could perhaps…meet Melbos? This idea of expansion beyond the obsidian ridge might interest him
DM: Meet us back here tomorrow at noon if you are interested
Faustus: I nod. We will consider it, thank you.
Bronan: Ok, Bronan give statue for statue
Bronan: I give them the statue
DM: Superb. They smile, and bow to you, and give you the tymora statue. As you emerge back on to he square, a small child in ragged clothes approaches you
DM: He reaches up with a folded piece of parchment in his hand
DM: A message for the dragonborn, the halfling, and the big drunk man! 1 gold piece for delivery!
Bronan: Bronan gives the gold
DM: He give you the note
DM: It reads:
Bronan: Pats kid on the head, and says “remember boy, do your deadlift and you’ll get big and strong”
DM: Friends, I hear you have returned from the desert. Come and see me at the Harbour. Yours, X
DM: The boy almost falls over front he weight of your hand
DM: Then runs off
Constance: Good moves guys. Was making dinner
DM: So you have the spell gem, the tymora statue, and the note. It’s late afternoon now
Faustus: Well shall we return the statue first?
Bronan: We return statue?
Bronan: Shit, I am actually devolving into Bronan now
DM: Hahaha
DM: You are heading back to the tymora temple?
Bronan: I think so?
DM: The old dwarf priestess is outside directing drellich, who is incompetently up a ladder swinging a hammer at some roof beams
Bronan: We never learned her name, “priestess lady, we have statue for you”
DM: She is overwhelmed! She starts crying and thanking you
DM: She takes it through to the shrine and places it on its stand and amounts it with holy water
DM: Tymora, bless these adventurers, may their luck be strong!
DM: You feel tingly
Constance: We need a word with Drellich my lady, he is in danger.
DM: Of course. Go careful, you kind young folk. Are you sure I can’t give you some money for your trouble?
Bronan: Bronan has beer and Sir dribbles, has friends, Bronan rich in a way
Bronan: You want ale nice priestess lady?
DM: She lifts her flask of holy water and smiles
DM: Try this, barbarian
Bronan: Ok, I take a swig
DM: (constitution saving throw if you do)
DM: This is the most potent alcohol you’ve ever tasted
Bronan: Hmm ok, I have plus 4, let’s see what the roll is
Bronan: I got a 12
Bronan: Goddamnit wizards dice roller
DM: Okay. You manage to hold it down, she looks very impressed. You feel good. In fact, you have 4 temporary hit points
Bronan: Hmm holy water nice, maybe Bronan become church man like Faustus
DM: The dwarf lady goes off to do some priestly things, leaving you three alone with Drellich
Constance: We take him to a quiet alcove of the church.
DM: Sure
DM: Hey guys. Look. Sorry about before. But I’ve got a great tip on the scorpion fights tonight, I think i can quintuple our money! You front me your gold and I’ll get us sorted, and a tidy profit!
DM: He smiles winningly
Constance: Go fuck yourself. If you’re still in this town 15 minutes from now, broken legs will be the least of your concerns.
DM: Intimidation check! Advantage because of bronan and Faustus menacingly standing behind you
Constance: 16 + 1 (cha?).
Constance: The lower was a 6
DM: He starts to cry
DM: What should I do? Where should I go?!
Faustus: Away. Try to start over and live a better life than the one you have been. And if you can’t keep yourself from vice, lying and stealing then live alone so you don’t inflict yourself on those better than you.
DM: He bolts
DM: And you are left alone in the church
DM: What do you guys want to do?
Bronan: We have a note saying to meet in the harbor, a meeting with the crime Lord tomorrow and the mayor to eventually deal with, do you guys reckon the note was from the mayor?
Constance: I do.
Bronan: In that case, do we risk staying in the inn or camping outside of town? Possible we could chill in the church?
Constance: Is it night? Do we have any other stuff in town?
DM: Ite late evening
DM: Almost sundown
Bronan: Try to sleep in the church?
Constance: Sure. SANCTUARY
Bronan: We agree, so we do that?
DM: Yes the works, the dwarf lady is happy enough for you to rest there over night
Constance: Thank you kind lady! Blessings upon you.
Faustus: Sure
DM: Full rest, all stuff restored
Constance: Ok so open threads.
1. The Hunter – bring him something we kill to impress him.
2. The Mayor / Mysterious Employer – Got the gem, worth way more, mayor killed some guy nothing done, got a letter saying to meet him at the harbour.
3. Melbos The Enforcer – Invited to meet him where we spoke with Faizal and Toma at noon. To speak about helping him “”expand””.
Bronan: We were going to try to find out what the scorpion tattooed people were carrying in their cage, though that is part of the Melbourne expansion/birdmen thing I guess
Bronan: Which do you wanna do first?
Constance: Melbos. Might have leads to find out what the hell is going on before we decide whether or not to give him this gem. But, he knows we are here now so we might have to make off pretty sharpish afterwards.
Bronan: I agree, at this point we have had more help from the thieves
Bronan: So I guess in the morning I take sir dribbles for a quick walk in the church, let him outside for his constitutional and make breakfast for us and the priestess
DM: For sure
DM: In the morning you are set to meet Melbos at noon in the alley
Bronan: I make sure constance and Faustus get a hearty breakfast for the day ahead, don’t want them to get hungry later, and say “we have time until noon, you guys have errand? Can Bronan come? Or we chat with priestess and play drum?”
Faustus: Equally (this is basically the only message I can send tonight) we don’t necessarily need to help the expansion of organised crime that involves drugs and trafficking. We could politely decline if it’s a bit too shady.
Bronan: Ok, Bronan will protect interests and Faustus
Faustus: I believe you
Bronan: Ooh, my bond is I have awful visions, so I guess you guys heard Bronan having nightmares
Bronan: Forgot about that
DM: You had nightmares of the purple worms
DM: But they had feathers?
Bronan: Dear Christ, Bronan stares into the cookie for a bit, but as soon as you speak to him, he becomes cheery again
Bronan: Cook fire
Constance: We don’t necessarily need to help them if it’s too shady, but we might be able to get some information.
Bronan: Hmm yes, birdman Mao useful, Bronan finally get revenge for bedroll
Bronan: Birdman map
Bronan: Although if they are communist, that would be funny
DM: If you head to the alley around noon?
Bronan: Yup
DM: Toma is there waiting
DM: My friends
DM: Melbos is near
DM: Are you ready?
DM: Please. Do not stare at him. He finds it rude. Be respectful
Bronan: Ho friend Toma, how are you? Ale? No worry, Bronan no stare
Constance: How about I stare at Bronan, Bronan stares at Faustus and Faustus stares at me. Then none of us can stare at Melbos
Bronan: Sound Complex, if Constance think it best, Bronan do
DM: Sure thing guys. Follow me
DM: He leads you down to a small house, nondescript, with a door for access off a little side street
Bronan: Cool, any secret knock?
DM: Yes, three short two long
DM: It opens onto a room with a large table. A pot of mint tea and four cups are laid out. Sat opposite is a…bug creature
Bronan: Bronan does what Constance told him, and adds his tribal greetings to an elder, kneel on one knee holding a full cup of ale for What he presumes is Melbos
Bronan: Greetings
DM: Melbos takes the mug from you, and Toma quickly fetches a straw
Constance: Hello my good man!
Constance: *gasps*
Bronan: Melbos call, Bronan come, may Bronan rise?
DM: Gasps?
DM: Toma says
DM: You may rise. I will speak with Melbos’s voice
DM: Sit, friends.
Bronan: My thanks Melbos, may your cupnever run dry
Bronan: Bronan rises and takes a seat
DM: So. Tomas tells me you are interested in the Blessed Wind. And you provided us with that lovely Yeenoghu statue!
DM: And drove that fool drellich out of town, for which you have my thanks
Bronan: Yes, we happy to help, birdmen are bad, Bronan want to find and crush, drellich tiny thinman, not strong in mind either, Bronan sad for him, but he make bedroll, he now sleep in it
DM: The birdmen…You understand, my operation is…not entirely legal? The scorpion fighting ring, some resourcing of objects?
DM: The birdmen control the red grass sea
DM: If they did not, well. Melbos might be able to make that into an opportunity
Bronan: Bah, Bronan met law man, law man ok, but only drink 2 ales
Bronan: Birdmen spoil Bronan bedroll when Bronan young. Birdmen kill and hide like sneaky dogmen
Bronan: Toma and Faisal friend say have map to birdmen, say map help friends find birdmen and crush
DM: The birdmen, the dogmen. It is own problem, friend bronan. The red grass sea is wild- civilisation cannot progress
Bronan: (hopefully Constance will step in!)
DM: If you believe you can crush the birdmen, you can of course have a map
Bronan: Hmm, can Bronan tell tale friend Melbos?
DM: May I have another ale? (he slurps his mug dry and tilts his head)
Bronan: Of course, elders cup never run dry
Bronan: Bronan hastily refills the cup, and places a second next to it
DM: Toma thanks you (as melbos)
DM: Melbos is communicating to Toma via hisses and clicks
DM: A map, then. And food and water and horses. These I will give you, and in return, the blessed wind shall cease
Bronan: We do, how many birdmen roost there? Bronan have three javelins and the beers, but maybe Bronan need net? More javelin?
DM: We think a dozen
Bronan: Bronan like to be prepared, otherwise Bronan prepares to fail
DM: So you’d best attack them in groups. Perhaps pose as a caravan and lead them to you in a trap?
Bronan: Hmm, trap is good, silly prey always fall into trap
DM: Think on it friends. Let Toma know what you want, and within reason it will be provided
Bronan: Melbos-elder smart
DM: Take a day to plan, a rushed fray will benefit us not
Bronan: Melbos-elder,may Bronan ask about one more think friend Toma and Faisal said? Bronan been thinking for while about it
DM: Ask ahead bronan
DM: I think you want to ask a question?
DM: Or tell a tale?
Bronan: Bronan tell tale then ask question
Bronan: When Bronan younger, looking for vision quest. Prove Bronan man, not thinman
Bronan: Bear move into Valley, Bronan tribe not worried, bear is bear, tribe is tribe, lots of land, prey everywhere, but more and more bear come, soon bear coming to waterhole in Bronan village
Bronan: Not a problem, but bear not speak to spirit elders, bear aloof like that
Bronan: So, bear keep taking more land and more land, until Bronan knew he must stop, Bronan took fathers bottle opener, and went on vision quest
Bronan: Bronan kill bear, soon other bears leave
Bronan: Bronan think bears like blessed wind, they get bold and then example be made
Bronan: But it seems Melbos-elder know this
DM: Friend bronan. You are wise. You see that progress must be made
DM: But I think you make a true point. An example- if you were to slay the biggest bear, the other bears would leave
Bronan: Bronan question may seem foolish, Bronan wise in some things, but Bronan ok in saying some things, Bronan no good at
Bronan: Mayor wear scarves and turban to trick others, to do things mayor should not do, like not wash hands. If mayor have scarves and people know it him. Why not they tell him mayor, wash hands, you have scarves on face to dry hands
DM: Aha. Many do not know. And those who question, or discover…You understand some bears are best not poked?
DM: The mayor plays his games, and has his intrigues
Bronan: Hmm not wise to poke bear, but less wise to sleep in cave without checking for bear
Bronan: That how Bronan lost cousin
Come back next Monday for Chapter 10 of The Cursed Tomb!
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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide
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