So Adam and Ian don’t feel like they play enough D&D. To rectify this, they started playing a text-based adventure with a couple of friends, still using the 5th edition framework. We thought it would be fun to clean up the transcripts of this adventure and start publishing it in weekly chapters here on the site. Let us know what you think, and please share around! If you missed Chapter 1, check it out here!
Disclaimer: This is the transcript of a text-based D&D game played over a period of 6 months. Bad language included. Picture based dice rolls/media omitted. Names changed to preserve anonymity. Goblin based violence frequent. You have been warned.
DM: It’s a small town, it takes you around five minutes to find a house with a blue door. There are empty glass bottle sputtered outside the door and heavy curtains drawn across the windows (which are holes in the wall)
Bronan: Whatever makes you happy *good-naturedly pats her head*
Bronan: Are we going in sneaky like dogmen, or loud like Bronan?
Faustus: Well we are near the mayors house, who we are now trying to avoid
Constance: I think straightforward knocking. Maybe you go round the back Bronan I case we spook him and he tries to run.
Bronan: Ok, like dogmen, I leave ale nearby though, people might take, in fact we bring with? Want an ale?
Bronan: If they decline, I will take the barrel round back, sit on it, in one hand ‘the beers’ in the other an ale resting lightly on the barrel looking dead at the back door, if they agree, I give them an ale first
DM: Haha
DM: So bronan guarding back door, faustus and Constance knocking?
DM: There is no response
Constance: Is the door open?
DM: It is locked
DM: You trying the handle?
Bronan: (you have seen Bronan has a fairly moderate portable ram)
Constance: Yup.
Bronan: It lives on the handcart
DM: As you jiggle the handle
DM: The back door opens and a glad, tall man in black robes bursts out, then stops dead when he sees bronan
DM: Shut, he says
DM: Shit*
Bronan: Hey Bro, want a cool ale?
DM: Um, no, I need to be heading off actually
DM: Constance and Faustus you hear this happening
Bronan: No. I’m going to need you to have an ale friend
Bronan: Now.
Bronan: Don’t you want to hit the beers?
Faustus: I join them
Constance: I stay at the front door in case he tries to come this way. And tell Faustus that I am doing so
DM: As faustus comes around the corner the man visibly gulps
DM: Sure
DM: A beer
Faustus: How about we head back inside for that beer.
Bronan: Wait, did you want to hit the beers, or did you want an ale?
Bronan: Important difference to Bronan
DM: Um
DM: Which one is a drink?
DM: Yes let’s go inside and have a drink
Bronan: Both have alcohol in them
Bronan: But ok, we sort this out inside
Bronan: *wheels cart in after downing the mug of ale, still holding ‘the beer’s (his axe)
DM: When you get inside, it’s basically a hovel. Some blankets in a corner, a slop bucket, and a table with one chair
DM: A few candles clearly remolded from other candles light the room
DM: There is a small wooden box next to the blanket
DM: “is this about the camel races? I know I promised I wouldn’t come back, I promise I wasn’t betting!”
Bronan: I call out to Constance, “hey little Bro, the man is going to unlock the door now”
Bronan: Aren’t you thinman?
DM: It’s a simple latch on the front door, the man lets Constance in
Faustus: Drellich, right?
DM: “Whats a thinman?”
DM: Yes I’m drellich
Faustus: Where is the idol Drellich?
Bronan: A weedy little Bro who can’t squat their bodyweight or deadlift a cat
Constance: I come in and survey the place, checking that there is no one else around / hiding.
DM: Oh. Well. I think I can deadlift a cat
Faustus: Also is this guy bald, tall and gangly?
DM: Yup
DM: You work for Melbos?
Bronan: So, we all settled, thinman, you want the beers or an ale, we want statue, you have
DM: Statue? Oh
DM: He goes pale
DM: Oh oh. Statue. The priest sent you?
Bronan: Bronan draws another ale
Bronan: Ale or the beers littleman, Bronan is late for lunch and Sir dribbles needs walkies
DM: Ale, please
DM: Look
DM: I don’t have it
Bronan: I hand him an ale
DM: I sold it to those two thieves
Faustus: Can I tell if he’s telling the truth?
DM: Sure, roll perception
Faustus: 12
DM: He drinks from the ale and sits down at the table, rubbing his head with his hands
DM: Guys, I’m in a lot of trouble
DM: He seems to be telling the truth
Faustus: You sure are. You stole a sacred statue.
DM: I sold the statue to Faisal and Toma. And I owe Melbos 100 gold, if I don’t pay by sunset he is going to break my legs!
Bronan: Bronan not have God, but Bronan not shit on gods
DM: I was going to buy it back once I won big with the money I got for selling it!
Bronan: What money you have now?
DM: Buy back the statue, settle with Melbos…
Bronan: You buy back statue now
DM: He empties his pockets onto the table. 1 gold piece, 2 silver, 3 copper
DM: I lost it all at the scorpion fights!
Bronan: Legs heal, Bronan once broke man’s legs and man walked again same day with cleric
DM: What am I going to do? Tymora has cursed me, Melbos will break my legs
DM: Clerics cost money, and the nearest cleric is in Cormyra!
Bronan: (shit you guys, are we going to have to rob a scorpion fighter ring?)
Bronan: What you guys think?
Faustus: I don’t think we *have* to do anything.
Faustus: Tymora didn’t curse you at all. You did this. You were slave to your vices and now you’re in even more trouble.
Bronan: It’s true, man should be pure *swigs ale*
Faustus: How much did you sell the statue for?
DM: 20 gold
Faustus: Well they saw you coming.
Bronan: Hmm, did they say they would sell it back for 20?
DM: Oh
DM: I should have asked that
Constance: *sigh*
Faustus: Did they tell you they would sell it back at all?
DM: Oh. Um.
Constance: What use do they have for a statue?
DM: I didn’t ask
Constance: Fair enough.
Constance: Look. How about this. We go talk to these gentlemen on your behalf, in the meantime, you go apologise to the nice priestess at Tymora and volunteer to fix her roof for free. That pays your debt to her at least, the other debts we can fix.
Constance: Faisal and Toma seemed like stand up gents, this Melbos I don’t yet know.
Bronan: I agree
DM: Ill head to the shrine right away!
Faustus: We can go past it with you on the way to meeting these chaps
Faustus: Everything is all very close here.
Constance: Good idea.
DM: So you walk him to the temple and send him in to the priest, and then head back to Abo’s trader? Those two guys are still hanging out down the alley to the side of it, a dozen feet back from the street. The nearest guard is a few hundred yards away
Constance: We should come up with a signal or something.
Constance: Like one of us between the guards and the guys, in case we need some assistance
Faustus: Is the guard either of those we spoke to before?
DM: No
DM: They are a good way away
Faustus: Hmm. Guards may not be generally happy with us associating with criminal elements anyway?
Constance: Fair point.
Constance: Escape routes if things go south?
DM: Lots of little alleys and streets, but as I said it’s a very small town, more like a village. Run for more than 1000 yards in any direction from this central square and you will be in the desert
DM: Abo’s shop is on the central square, this alley leads off it. So one direction up the alley is central square, the other is side streets and houses. Couple of guards on the far side of the square, the rest are guarding the ends of roads
Bronan: I’m sure it’ll be fine, they seemed chill before
DM: Up to you! What’s the plan?
Constance: If this conversation goes south we split up and meet back at gambler guys house?
Faustus: Sounds good
DM: Cool
DM: How are you approaching this? Faisal and Toma seems to be rolling dice against a wall
Constance: Just openly “hello again gents!”
DM: Adventurers. Did you find your 100gold for that map? Or is there something else we can fix for you?
Constance: This is about something else
DM: Oh ho? Step into our office
DM: He smiles and gestures at a shadowy alcove, large crates blocking the view back to the square
DM: Toma packs up the dice and pulls up a small box, sitting down on it
DM: What can we fix for you? Poison? Weapons? Information? You need to hire some muscle, put the squeeze on someone? You want girl, boy, smoke?
Constance: Something a little more specific my friend.
Constance: I’m given to understanding that you have recently come into possession of a certain religious item.
Constance: (I turn on my tape recorder)
DM: Toma laughs
DM: The lucky lady? A lucky purchase I think. Drellich is a silly man, isn’t he
Bronan: Yes, it took him a 10 minutes to make a decision between beer and ale
DM: You seem like good types. The priestess wants her statue back?
Bronan: Yes, best not to anger the gods
DM: Faisal shrugs
DM: God’s are funny things
Faustus: She does. And the foolishness of that Drellich should not affect her.
DM: We paid drellich 40 gold for this, as it is quite a fine piece. A buyer in Cormyra might pay, oh, 50 gold for it
DM: But you want us to…sell it back to you, to give to the priest?
DM: And what of Drellichs other debt? Melbos wants his bones in pieces
Faustus: That dick said you gave him 20!
DM: Toma laughs, Faisal scowls
DM: Drellich burns every bridge
Faustus: Can I tell if they are lying?
DM: Sure, roll perception
Faustus: 14
DM: They are telling the truth
Faustus: Ok.
DM: I have no taste for this (toma)
DM: Tell you what
DM: 40 gold, we give you the statue. If that slug is still in town at sunfall, we take his legs. If you want to make him leave before then it might just save his life, but that’s not my business
Faustus: (Whispered conference with the others) I have 20 gold. Frankly I don’t care what happens to the guy.
Bronan: Hmm, Bronan only has 1 gold
Faustus: But I’d like to return the statue if we can.
Faustus: And if we convince him to leave, fine. If not, whatever.
Faustus: Constance?
Faustus: Oh also, can we tell if the statue is legit?
DM: Toma produces it for your inspection, religion check please
Bronan: How about we swap statues, Bronan has statue of demon gnoll
DM: Faizal looks intrigued
DM: May we see, friend bronan?
Faustus: I got a nat 20 again bud.
Faustus: Sorry.
DM: Ha
Faustus: If it helps I’m sure I’ll roll dick next time we are in a fight.
DM: It’s legit. You can tell because the coin in tymora’s hand has heads on both sides (tymora makes her own luck)
Bronan: Of cause Faisal, we friend, we want town to be happy, return statue to church, kill birdmen who are competition to friend Faisal and Toma if they want to expand
DM: Faizal and Toma inspect the Yeenoghu syatue
DM: And quickly confer
Faustus: Ok. I nod to indicate I’m happy with it. So I’m happy to either trade or if we can get the 40 together I’m cool with that too.
DM: Bronan, you are a gem of a man. We swap tymora for Yeenoghu? Melbos loves dogs, he will like this very much
DM: And if you see Drellich before sundown, tell him to get out of town. Otherwise…
DM: They shrug
Come back next Monday for Chapter 9 of The Cursed Tomb!
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Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide
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