Help! I’m Too Good At Games!

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Do you feel that you’re breezing through games on hardcore and insanity? Pwning all the N00bs a bit too easily? Then this is the random assortment of words for you! The following will show you a number of ways to make your games harder so you can feel the challenge of a real difficulty curve once again! I mean, you could play blindfolded with one arm tied behind your back but where’s the fun in that?

Play Vegan

Does your game require you to eat meat etc to regain stamina? Well no more! Playing Vegan means that you can only eat items that have been lovingly given to you by the Earth/Moon/Wherever the hell you are. No meat, no cheese, no milk, no honey, no leather, no wool. This applies particularly well to Minecraft though don’t go around celebrating the fact that you finished Resident Evil playing Vegan. All they eat is Herbs. Apparently Oregano is the perfect accompaniment to zombie slaying.

The Blacksmith screwed my wife

And he over charges! I never want to see him again! Only take the weapons that the game forces upon you and never upgrade them. This means you could be taking on the final boss with the equivalent of a toothpick and you may kill it simply by making it laugh to death but at least you never have to give that Jerk Blacksmith any money.

I spent my bill money on games

Due to rising game prices and my own lack of budgeting we can now no longer afford electricity! Better play your games at minimum brightness because you don’t need to see to shoot things right? Anyone who does this playing Dead Space I want photos of your traumatised little face when playing it even darker. I need them for science (disclaimer: science may actually be my own personal collection).

 He’s ‘armless!

No really, there was a chainsaw accident. This mainly applies to Beat ‘em ups. Never use your arms in combat! Kicks and head butts only! No cheating and playing Mortal Kombat either as that has a mode that does all the hard work and removes the arms for you. Cheats!

Glass Cannon

Armour? I barely wear clothes! Go through the entire game relying on your own muscular prowess and don’t buy a single defensive item. It’s alright so long as you beat the boss to death before it breathes on you. Chain mail really chafes and helmets are for losers anyways.

 

Kii

3 thoughts on “Help! I’m Too Good At Games!

  1. Always like the “death is permanent” option, best for games where you have a party… If a character falls in combat, don’t redirect them, or use them again, banish them from your team and treat them as dead! If everyone dies once, start over.

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